Thank you Lord for this new Day #R2BC

I've been reflecting this weekend on how lucky we are to every new day in front of us. Each is a privilege that we need to make the most of. That doesn't mean we have to be super busy or doing loads, it just means we should be fulfilling our calling, whatever it is we believe we are on this earth to do.

I have to be honest I am still not clear on what my ultimate calling is, I know this season right now is about parenting my three children, supporting my husband and serving the community I live within. I also still wonder if there is something bigger than this that I should be doing, but that could just be me and my pride, assuming there was due to be more to my life than being a helper.

Sadly, I'm very task-driven, I love to tick things off the to-do list and I get such a sense of satisfaction when things are running smoothly and everything is on track. I know that I am far more concerned with things and tasks than I am with people and relationships. I also know that people are far more important, so my priorities are out of balance, but all I can do is try to change things, to shift the balance a little.

God made me with the skills and talents I have, so I am obviously supposed to be an organised, efficient kind of woman who gets things done, but it is my job to maintain balance and to focus on His desires for all His children. That they are loving and full of grace for all people.

I've had a fabulous weekend and I am very thankful for it. There hasn't been anything big and glamorous going on, but it has been great.

Saturday

• I started the day with a cooked breakfast and a couple of episodes of Chicago Med
• I had a great hour in the Prayer Centre soaking and reading
• Lunch with some lovely ladies and a very good chat
• I got a couple of (long-overdue) cupboards sorted out
• A few hours of work and many things ticked off
• Yummy homemade chilli nachos for tea with all the family
• Casualty on TV

Sunday

• A great service at church, with a pertinent message about belonging
• Roast beef cooked for me
• I got the weeks ironing out of the way
• Fun rehearsal for the panto I am taking part in, in November
• Off to see Jo Brand at the theatre in a few minutes and then a chicken kebab on the way home

Simple stuff, but it all makes for a happy and content Mich!

I hope you've had a great weekend too. Mich x

I'm linking this post up with Becky at Lakes Single Mum for Reasons to be Cheerful

Marching into 2019 with Hope and Love

It's that time of year when so many people are thinking about what lies ahead for them in the next year. I really like this time, when it feels like you have a blank canvas ahead of you and whatever you do feels exciting and new. However for me, it is the keeping it going beyond the first couple of weeks, or even the whole of January (if I'm lucky) that is the tricky bit.

Years back I used to make resolutions, and then always felt bad when they went to pot, so I put that to bed and in December 2013 I published a list of expectations for the year ahead and looking back now, I like that. It was full of positivity and to be honest if I re-published the same list for 2019, I wouldn't go far wrong.

2014's list of expectations

2015 was supposed to be the year that I got #FitandFree, I used that hashtag for a while and the aim was to get fit and lose weight. Guess what?  It didn't happen.

At the beginning of 2016 I wrote about the goals I'd like to achieve that year, and with the exception of the big one that has been evading me forever (the weight loss) I did well.

It appears that I didn't write an end of year, or start of year post for 2017 but I remember this was the year I changed to having a guiding word. My choice of word was Trust and this was about trusting God and trusting myself. Then for 2018, I did the same and chose a word, this time it was Believe - I had to believe I could do it. What was the it?  Lose weight of course.

As I read over these old posts, it is very sad to see that my main goal at the end of every year is to be healthier and fitter, by losing weight and exercising more. It would be so easy to throw the towel in and say that I'm never going to do this, that experience shows I give up easily.

But I refuse to give up. 

In last years post, I said by the end of the year I would be far more healthier and lighter than I was starting the year. If I just look at that, then it would be a fail, but I've always maintained that you don't fail, you win or you learn in life and if I look into that post further, I see that I published a list of what I would believe in. It is when you read these that I know I won last year, I made great progress, yes my outside body still looks fat and my physical health isn't great but my spiritual health is so much better. I do believe I am worth it, I believe I'm loved and that I make a difference and I end the year already a gym member who is actually using her membership each week and knowing that in 2019 I will lose weight. I start slimming world on New Years Day.

Here is the list I published this time last year -

• I need to believe I am significant and worthy of good outcomes
• I need to believe I can make the right choices with food
• I need to believe that exercising is necessary and can be enjoyable
• I need to believe I will lose weight
• I need to believe I am loved
• I need to believe my actions make a difference
• I need to believe the best of others
• I need to believe I have the time to spend with God each day

Today a spent a good couple of hours in the prayer centre as I was trying to focus on what my mantra should be for 2019. Now I know some Christians don't like the word mantra, but I'm not getting hung up on this. A lady I follow on Instagram - Ysette Guevara has been talking about mantras recently, and her first one was 'to rest in the palm of God' and this spoke so loudly to me. So I've been asking God where my focus should be and how do I tune into Him more and keep moving forward.

The first mantra, or phrase that came to me was

"rest in Me child"

and I was feeling very positive with that and ready to move forward with it, as it spoke to me about getting rest, having quiet time with God, sleeping well, giving God the control and acknowledging I am a child who needs to be guided and is loved.

Then tonight I went to a couple of short workshops and the one on being free from fear really grabbed me and I came away, after doing the session in the dark with just the odd candle, believing that I have to step into the light, or live in the light, and then the words of the well-known song came to me

"marching in the light of love"

and this feels right for me too, as marching is doing and I need to be actively putting in to my exercise and weight loss journey, the light is God and I must rely on Him and He is love, so feeling supported and appreciated as I take these steps that have proved so difficult for over three decades!

So here I am right now, with two mantras and I don't know if that will work or naturally over the next few days as I pray and wait on God if one will make itself clear as my guide for the next year ahead. Whichever, it doesn't matter as I'm feeling positive and I know there is hope....

Why not pin this post for later?

Listening to the Little Voice and Meeting The Homeless Bard

The Homeless Bard Image - Ms Jane Campbell / Shutterstock.com

It's a rare weekend away for my husband and I, we up in London and quite honestly having a wonderful time. The guise for coming up here was to attend the Premier Digital conference but to be frank after meeting Lee, or #thehomelessbard as he's better known, nothing was going to have the same lasting impact.

After arriving to Victoria and taking a bus ride towards Leicester Square to go and book some theatre tickets we decide to get off at Trafalgar Square and walk the last short while. I'm not sure what made me suggest walking - that the bus driver was a bit laissez faire in his approach to road safety or whether it was a prompt from God, but off we got.

Within a few minutes I'm drawn to the well-presented (well, he's wearing a holey jumper, buts it's clean and he smells good) and well-spoken man writing masses on the pavement. Nothing too showy about it, he's just using white chalk and there are no pictures but there's something aesthetically captivating and beautiful about his writing. Within a few moments of reading and if I'm honest, earwigging his conversation I know why I'm drawn to it. Lee is homeless but he's also a man of God. He is living for Jesus and he wants the world to know the good news. And in case you don't already know what that is, it's that Jesus died for us all. He loves me, he loves you and there's no judgement or condemnation.

It doesn't take long for me to throw my pound in the bucket and grab an image of one of his poems, titled ‘Little Voice’. My husband asks if I've seen something I like and I point that first poem out and we agree that if you swap the word angel for Holy Spirit then it's theologically sound and reflects our beliefs.

Then the poem ‘Be the truth’ catches my eye next and my husbands throwing his money in the bucket too and I head over to ask Lee (I'm not sure if that's his real name and to be frank it doesn't matter, as the man going by the name #thehomelessbard is only interested in glorifying Gods name, not his own) if he writes the same poems each day or if he is given new material each day.

He's quick to tell me that his day starts in prayer and that God normally gives him one word and from there the poem flows. Some he copies out multiple days as they are the foundation of what he wishes to share and others are fresh that day. On the day we chat there are two new poems and I ask him if this is his ministry, I think at that point he realises I'm a fellow believer and he starts to share a little of his personal story.

About being homeless, although nowadays rarely having to actually sleep on the street as he gets offered places to stay and about his heart for helping those people who are homeless. This is a man with a God given passion, he wants to see an end to shelters and a rise to homes for the homeless to share. Homes where the obligations put upon the people living in them are not too scary. They don't have to sign on, they don't have to get a job, they don't have to be clean. But they do have to respect the home, it's a place of God, a safe haven where the only obligations placed upon them are that they must build community together and that if they have an addiction like drink or drugs, they must do it away from the house. It's a place where they can heal from the inside out I comment and Lee nods enthusiastically and says exactly.

He gets excited as he tells me about a dog walker he sees early most mornings and how this man is helping him to get a house to be able to start making his vision a reality and I'm touched, really touched. In fact by this point I'm feeling very tearful and thinking I really must return the call to the trustee of a local charity that I've offered to give some admin help to. Not just any charity though, a local one in Hastings that have just set up a home for homeless people to share. It amazes me every time how God works; the clarity I get to my pondering of if this volunteering opportunity was where I was supposed to be giving my time next.

Our conversation doesn't last long and I can see Lee is keen to get back to his writing, so I thank him for his time and take details of the two self-published books he sells on Amazon. I might just have to treat myself to those and in the process add a little money to his fund for the homeless.

As my husband and I walk away, he talks about how he feels a bit funny after our conversation with Lee. He's not generally an emotional man but he's been impacted by the conversation and whilst Lee had sounded a little like a conspiracy theorist towards the end of our conversation, my husband compares him to John the Baptist, as people thought he was off the wall too. And in comparing him to John the Baptist I think he captures the essence of who Lee is, a simple man, who wants nothing for himself but dignity for everyone else.

Thank you Lee for your amazing ministry and your God focused heart. I'll be praying for you and the realisation of your passion.

If you happen to be walking through Trafalgar Square, look out for Lee and whether you're a Christian or not, have a read of some of his poems as he has a wonderful talent. You'll know it's him, as each poem will be signed THB, for #thehomelessbard 

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Listening to God and Knowing My Calling will Come

I've been enjoying a spot of colouring today as I prayed and pondered on the season I'm in right now. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Gods definitely been asking me to be patient and wait on him. I listened to an excellent podcast from @godcenteredmom with @sarahagertywrites yesterday that really resonated with me. I don't have to seek out my purpose just to feel useful. ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻 He's getting me ready! Who knows what for but I'm excited to find out...

A post shared by Michelle Pannell (@michelletwinmum) on Oct 6, 2017 at 11:27am PDT

You know sometimes there is something brewing inside you and you're not even really sure what it is? Well God's been speaking to me and I've been trying really hard to listen and to understand what He has been saying. In fact I've been trying to write this blog post for days but it just hasn't flowed and I think that is because I've been absorbing and allowing His message and words to fall deep within me.

I've always known that God is more interested in my character than my comfort. He never created me to live a blessed life and to have things my way. I'm not here to get what I want out of life, I am here to serve His purpose and to be a disciple of Jesus, showing others the way to a better life by knowing Him. Of course this isn't always easy though as by my very flawed nature as a human I am selfish and think of me first. I want what I want.

Recently I've been seeking a job, something to give me satisfaction and where I can feel useful but the only interview that I went to didn't work out and I have to say I was surprised but a few weeks down the line and I'm not at all, I now see it is for the best. I was trying to fill a round hole with a square peg. I don't just need any old job, I need whatever it is that God has planned for me and it may well not fall into my timing but when His timing comes it will be so good, of that I'm sure.

I'm learning to Ignore the inner voices, the ones in my head that say I should be working, I should be busy, I shouldn't be enjoying my life as much as I am and I'm tuning in to God's voice. The one that says spend time with me Michelle, slow down, enjoy life, smell the roses and take care of yourself. I keep hearing the word abide, and abide means to accept or to act in accordance with, so when I look at the verse below I remember I have to be fully immersed in my relationship with God to be able to produce fruit.

"Abide in me, and I will abide in you. Just as the branch cannot produce fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me." John 15:4

Guest Post: Finding My Faith Again

God Loves you from Shutterstock

Another guest post for you today. In this one Rachel of Rachel in Real Life shares her experience of growing up a Christian and then walking away from her faith and rediscovering it a decade later. What a difference ten years makes! You can catch up with Rachel on Twiiter too - @Rachel_IRL.

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One of my earliest memories is of the day that I became a Christian. I was around six years old and it was the day of my mum's baptism. I can remember knowing what it meant to commit my life to Jesus and being absolutely sure that it was what I wanted. Although my dad never went to church he certainly never stopped any of us from going or made us feel uncomfortable for doing so. 

I was baptised when I was 14 and went on to help to run a youth group at 18. By 19/20 I had left the church and my faith behind. There wasn't a single event that made me leave but an accumulation of events and feelings. I never really felt as though I was a part of the church or that I had any friends there. Everyone seemed to be a better Christian than me, loved God more, were more holy, doing everything right, they were happy while I had started my battle with depression, a battle that would continue for years to come. 

My mum also felt unsupported which certainly influenced me. My mum died when I was 21 and neither myself nor my siblings felt as though we had much support from the church although I guess that was probably because her own attendance had dropped in the months prior to her death. I then spent 10 years not really knowing where I was at as a Christian. I still believed in God but I couldn't say with a great deal of conviction that I had a faith. I still believed in heaven but I couldn't be sure that I would be going there and I didn't know what that meant for me.  

Last year, after my youngest sister arranged for lifts for me, I attended an Alpha course and I started to go to her church.  During the first four weeks of my going there, I cried during every service. I came out with panda eyes and tear-stained cheeks, the husband would ask me what had happened and I simply couldn't explain but somehow, I knew I had felt just something of God's love for me. Earlier this year I had major surgery and was in hospital twice. A lot of people who go to the church got in touch, offering support and love and seemed to be genuinely pleased for me when I was back on my feet. People I have known only a short while have asked me how I am recovering and continue to ask after my health each week. 

What's the difference between now and over 10 years ago? Jesus has become personal to me and in the church I now attend I don't feel like I have to pretend to be filled with the Holy Spirit all of the time or to be immensely grateful 24/7. I have a thirst for more knowledge that I never had before and I am active in the church again, this time working with young children. 

There are, of course, difficulties. Jesus never promised us that a life following him would be easy, in fact he promised just the opposite. For me, the biggest challenge is that my husband isn't a Christian and doesn't ever come to church with me. A few months ago we attended a dedication and he enjoyed that service, even telling me he almost responded to ask for prayer but he didn't. Just this morning he said he might come along then decided against it. Unfortunately the service would have been the perfect message for him to hear but I have to trust that there will be another opportunity. 

My son comes along sometimes and I get upset when he doesn't, when he would rather stay at home with daddy because he does have fun when he goes. The husband is however very supportive of me attending church and of my Christian values. Despite not going himself he always tries to encourage our son to come along (sometimes he will even say he has to work when he doesn't, I'm not sure what God would make of that!) and he drives me the 20 minutes each way and picks me up because I can't drive myself. 

While Sunday mornings may be a bit of a write off for the husband being my personal chauffeur, our home life is actually a lot better. Yes I have changed as God has worked in me but so has the husband and I can see God working in him too, even though he may not even realise it. Despite being 32 years old, I still find it difficult to admit that I am a Christian. Sure it is easy enough to tick the box on a questionnaire but it isn't something I particularly bring up in conversations. We are viewed as "Bible bashers" or "weird" for having a "religion". 

The Christianity I know isn't full of rules and regulations and orders and religious practises but is one of love and simplicity. No Christian is any closer to God than another, none of us has sinned any worse than another despite what the laws of the land might say. Nothing I can do can make God love me any more or any less. I don't have to pray 10 times a day, offer myself as a sacrifice or convert people; He already loves me as I am, He always has and He always will.

Thanks so much for sharing Rachel, it sounds as if the recent leg of your journey has been a good one, I pray you continue to find great joy in your faith and that your husband will come to share it too.

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The one about feeling rejected

I had a bit of an epiphany on Friday morning, I think it has been long coming. I've always known that I desire to be needed and that being needy isn't a particularly attractive trait but I had no idea that I feel rejected.

I'm not sure where this stems from, I don't believe it is my family, I've always known how loved I am by them all. So I assume it must have come from my early friendships as I have very definite memories of not being wanted, of being the spare person in the group. It brings a lump to my throat when I remember being a young girl at a party and hiding behind the curtain and crying as I just *knew* I wasn't really wanted there.

There are so many childhood examples I could cite, like the the time I sat and watched the girls next door have a party in their garden whilst I watched from my bedroom window and cried. Or when my hat was flushed down the loo because the older girls at school thought that was funny. It is so hard to understand, I don't know why I didn't fit in but it still hurts and when it hurts I worry about my own children, about the same happening to them. Miss M is so like me when I was little; head strong and opinionated, not afraid to speak her mind and potentially upset people.

Then you have my little delicate Miss E who asked me this morning why some friends go somewhere else rather than our house in the morning and I replied that I didn't know. She then matter of factly asked me if it was because they didn't like us? How do you answer that? I struggle to believe that anyone could dislike Miss E as she is such a sweetie but of course I'm biased.

I've been worrying about this situation with a local family, I can't really go into on here but it has made me very sad and again this morning I was struggling to understand it but instead of allowing myself to get in the doldrums I turned to God and reminded myself that it does not matter if people reject me or do not like me, He likes me, in fact He loves me just the way I am and that is what I need to ensure my children understand too. We turn to God first and not people.

I was then later talking to my husband about work and how I want to be useful and to be achieving my full potential and helping where I can. Last week I could not do my voluntary work and by the end of the week I felt pretty empty, whereas this week I have worked Tuesday and I was off to the food bank that same day. It was when I was musing my voluntary work at the food bank that I realised how I feel about rejection as I found myself thinking about the fact that I'm just on the rota bi-weekly and the destructive thought 'they don't want me every week' popped into my head.

I am so glad I caught that thought and did not muse on it as you know what the bible says -

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." Proverbs 4:23 (NLT)

I also love this well known quote. No-one really knows its origins as it is attributed to many people but I personally feel it is very biblical in its message and it can be traced back to sermons in the 1800's -

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.  

It would be easy to just think that thoughts come from the mind but actually it is in our hearts where we believe and have faith. If I allow negative thoughts to enter my mind and dwell there, they will become what my heart believes and I'll be in the grip of Satan's lies. I've heard enough of his lies and I don't want him to be part of my life any longer. 2015 is already a year of change and I think the change is going to be deeper and wider than I ever imagined.

As I was journaling earlier I could think of loads of examples, both in the past and currently where I feel rejected or perceive someones actions or mannerisms to be rejections. Then as I pondered on I started to berate myself for assuming I am the centre of the universe and it is not all about me. I should not be feeling rejected by these people in my life, I should be feeling blessed. But it is what it is and being unkind to myself won't solve it and navel gazing and pondering what made me so self-centered won't either. I don't like to think of myself as self-centered but to be assuming that other peoples actions (or lack of actions) are because of me must mean I have too much focus on self.

Strangely I feel a kind of relief realising this, as it means I can now take steps to investigate it further and tackle it. I know I do not need to feel rejection, my family love me and God loves me, that is all I need but now I need to find out what I must do to make this my reality and really believe it.

I must focus on God and on being the person He intends me to be and that is a well-rounded person who is secure in His love and not seeking to be needed by others. There is so much work ahead...

I suspect a great first step is to delve into the word and remember what God says -

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9

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Who am I? Jesus reveals a little more...

This morning at Church I was really challenged to think about who I am in Christ. and that means the totality of who I am. There is no Christian hat, I am just one person and to be a Christian is a 24 hour commitment, I don't just have to attend church on a Sunday. Every day I have to seek to make right choices, demonstrate love and attempt to emulate Jesus himself.

It really was one of those life changing mornings today. The 18th January 2015 will be recorded as a time of realisation and revelation. Back on 30th November 2014 I was baptised by full immersion, just like Jesus was. Despite having been Christened as a child and confirmed as an adult I knew I had to take this important step. Since then lots has been changing within me and today I realised that I must not diminish who I am. God loves and values me, I must too. It is so important. I have to trust that when I gave my life to God in 2002 and then again at my baptism last year he wiped my slate clean and I am now a daughter of the most high king. I should stop doubting my own usefulness.

My Picture: His Words

A beautiful walk with my little princesses last Sunday led to this gorgeous image of sunset at Ashburnham Place. Don't you just love that reflection?

I'm linking up wth Darren over at One Dad 3 Girls and I'm hoping to join in with this each week, this year.

Happy New Year all, Be blessed, Mich x

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In His Time

By the time this post publishes I'll have delivered a short session tonight on this very subject. As I sat and wrote the material I realised I probably ought to capture the essence of my talk here on the blog as it is always good to look back and see where God is working.

In the age we live in, the general expectation is that we can have what we want, when we want it and predominantly people want things NOW.

It is an age of instant gratification and there is no need to wait for anything.

• You want food – go ahead and eat it, it is not rationed.
• You want a car - buy it, even if you don’t have the money, there are loans readily available.
• You want an intimate relationship with someone – then just have a one night stand, everyone is doing it after all, what's the issue?

But life is different for us, as Christians we are proud to rely on God’s word and His instructions for our lives and he very clearly tells us to ‘be in this world but not to be of it’. But what does that mean?

Romans 12: 2 (NLT) says "Don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." 

Making Easter memories with your children

As Christian's Easter is a really important time for us. So much fuss and preparation is made about Christmas and really it has gotten a bit out of sync. As whilst it is incredibly important that we mark the birth of Jesus, it is even more important (in my opinion) that we remember what He did for us. God allowed his only son to be crucified and suffer this horrendous death so that all our sins may be forgiven.  It is massive stuff and yes I realise it is hard to understand or to believe if this is not your faith. But for us as Christians it is awe-inspiring and one of the cornerstones of our faith.

It would be all too easy to allow Easter to pass as just another bank holiday and especially this year as dh is working much of it but I was determined that the children stay connected to our faith and yesterday we had a day of making Easter memories. Claire at Clarina's contemplations reminded me recently with her delightful post that I love the little traditions that families repeat year after year and last year we made Easter (or resurrection) gardens for the first time and when I mentioned to the girls about making some they were up for it.

We had a lot of fun yesterday as we walked around the lake to collect all we needed to make our little gardens (dirt, sticks, moss, wildflowers, stones) and then we headed over to the gardeners' stores to borrow a couple of seed trays and plastic post and finally back home to put them together. As we went we talked through the Easter story and the girls recounted what they knew and I filled in the gaps. It is really important for us reflect on the importance of Easter and remember what happened.

We also then made hot cross buns from scratch, not something I've done before but it was OK and the kids managed to do two batches argument free, which was fabulous. It was then nice to be able to butter them while they were still warm and take them up to the main house and offer my husband and a few of his staff one.

We used the BBC good food easy hot cross bun recipe here.

The girls also painted some cheap pottery bunnies I picked up in Hobbycraft and we painted faces too, it was a day of togetherness and for me it finished perfectly when I went to a Maundy Thursday service in the evening and had some adult time to pray and reflect.

From our family to yours we wish you a very happy Easter.

Be blessed, Mich xxx

My Picture: His Words – An uncomfortable week

It has been a really uncomfortable week, you know the kind - just nothing sits quite right and you don’t really feel your normal contented self.

Logically I know all is OK, I’m on track in life and I’m where God wants me to be right now. I don’t have all the answers and I have no idea where I‘m heading but that is OK, I’m willing to trust and know that the right things will come in time.

I believe it is one of those weeks when God is working on you, refining you, revealing to you the parts you need to work on, those that are still of the flesh and full of sin. I’m reminded of something I once read - that God is more concerned with your character than your comfort and that is exactly how this week has been - uncomfortable.

I’ve not been inspired to write and that is so unlike me, in fact I’ve not wanted to do much, I’ve just felt blur and at odds with myself. I went to a session last Monday evening about life coaching and this really opened me up to some serious self-examination. In fact it threw up in the air some things I thought I knew about myself.

It reminded me of traits I don’t like about myself. Like my desire to be liked, to feel needed, to be respected, to be able to help and to be seen rather than invisible. I have no idea quite why I’m so needy, I really do need to examine that or give it a poke as Antonia would say.

For many years now God has been telling me to stop ‘doing’ and to start ‘being’ and I think I have done quite well with that over the last six months or so since we moved but I’ve got to a point where I feel I need to be doing more and making more of an impact but actually this week God has been telling me that what I need to do is work on accepting me for who I am and not worrying about doing so much. I need to rely on God more and look to Him for affirmation and guidance, rather than worrying that I don’t fit in here, that no-one likes my kids or that I’m a fat slob.

I need to find that perfect balance of doing enough to enable me to become the person God wants me to be and coming to a place where I just love and accept me for being me. Not having to accomplish anything, just liking Mich and knowing I’m OK.

There is work to be done here.......  but it is all a journey and I'll get there in His good time.

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Finding time for God as a busy Mum

I personally know that it is all too easy to get tied up in the busyness of parenting or to get distracted by the state of the house or the work that needs to be done and then we take our eyes off Jesus. It is in these busy times that we, as Christians often find ourselves saying ‘Lord where are you?, I feel alone, you said you’d never leave me’. Logically we know that He never leaves our side, the bible reassures us through all its promises that God will never forsake us or leave us. But our hearts yearn for Him and we feel deserted and alone in the stresses of parenting.

Of course what has happened is the reverse of what we imagined. The truth is that we forgot Him. Our God is not a demanding or tyrannical God, all He asks is that we have a relationship with Him, he loves to spend time with us, to chat, to listen and to know our desires, frustrations and joys. We allowed ourselves to just look inwards and to be absorbed by the busyness of everyday life.

Having travelled this rocky road for quite some years now I thought I’d share with you the ways I found to ensure that I’m still spending time with God even when the children are under foot or the washing is pouring out the machine! I’ve put them under rough age brackets but actually many go through the ages so take a peek at them all.

When you have a young baby in the house

I know that the thing you most want to do is sleep and that is fine, go ahead and do that but what about putting on some headphones and listening to some worship music or a Christian podcast as you fall off to sleep?

Or how about using those precious feeding times to both bond with your baby and with God. My children had a mixture of breast and bottle and both worked for this, I would close my eyes for a few moments (especially easy once breastfeeding is established) and would be in that wonderful halfway place, not really awake and not asleep but just sharing with God my gratitude for my babe and the things that He had provided. Gratitude really works, even when your nipples hurt and you feel as if your life is falling apart it feels much better after you have looked for the Grace in small things and appreciated what you have.  I have become an expert at playing the Pollyanna game.

Remember that in everything you do you should be doing it to the glory of God. When the twins were babies I read Barefoot in the Kitchen by Alie Stibbe and I found this very helpful, that principle that when I cook, clean and wash I am doing a Christ given job and therefore I must do it to my best. Keeping that awareness is a transforming thing.

Finding time with an older baby/toddler

That tricky stage where you might not be quite as tired because babe (hopefully) at least sleeps a bit but now they are on the move and you are exhausted and they are into everything. I had an agreement with my husband that when he got home I would just disappear out the door for a walk for just 15 minute and this would clear my head and give me clear perspective.

I also started to read the bible in a year and this would mean I set my alarm 20 minutes early each morning and spent that time with God, praying, chatting and reading. I found it really effective when I used to drop to my knees by the side of my bed and bow in full submission.

If I allowed my babes to nap at home in the afternoon I know that I ran around like a headless chicken and I’d do as much household chores as I could and then when they would wake I was grumpy as I had not had any rest or renewing. I’d advise you at least once a week to pop your baby in the buggy and go for a mammoth walk. Take some music to listen to as you walk, listen to the Lord, chat to Him and really enjoy His presence as you push your sleeping babe.

Children of school age

This is where I am now, all three of my children are in full-time school and I luckily was able to move from my 4 day a week job to working freelance and being at home. Even with time on your hands it is no easier to make sure you are giving God your full attention. You have to be purposeful I find.

Currently I make time to read my bible each day and I do this at the kitchen table straight after I see the kids off to school. I also make sure I have little reminders in lots of places so that if I have a free few minutes I spend it with God instead of checking FB. I have a daily thought on my windowsill in the kitchen which takes seconds to read but then it says in my head and allows the conversation with God to open and progress as I cook our family dinner.

I also have a daily readings book in the bathroom and yes I do grab this when I go to the loo, it takes me about 2 minutes to read the one page and again helps me to be closer to God. I’m also reading a Christian book at the moment (How to have a Mary heart in a Martha world in case you are interested) and I might just grab 15 minutes with that before I fall asleep at night.

Probably one of my favourite times of day is when I go to pick the kids up from school. I have to drive because of where we live and each day I arrive 15/20 minutes before pick-up and have a read of the magazines that I keep in the car.  I get Christianity and Woman Alive magazines each month and I enjoy reading those and being encouraged and challenged by how God is working in the lives of others.

The last thing I would say is not to forget to bring your older children into your times with God. I love lying in bed with my girls and we take turns to pray, saying sorry, thank you and please help. It is such a privilege to hear their innocent requests and know how deeply they are thinking. Get the kids to take turns to say grace at the table, ask them at dinner time what was their best and worst parts of their day and then use that to talk about how our Lord works and pray together. You know what they say ‘a family that prays together, stays together.

Of course I am incredibly lucky now in that I live in a Christian prayer and conference centre and I have 220 acres of amazing God-inspired grounds to walk, prayer meetings I can attend every day, worship sessions three times a week and about 80 committed Christians to share my prayers with, I won’t lie to you this does help. But equally I’ve had the last ten years of being a parent without that and with working and it is therefore possible to still find time for God every day.

I pray you find what works for you, please do leave a comment if you have something different you do and let’s encourage each other. Mich x

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My Picture: His Words - Contentment

This picture is of a Victorian grotto here at the estate where I live. It is just a small shelter with fresh running water in it and in its day it had a beautiful picture painted on the back wall. It used to be that if you splashed the wall with the water the picture still appeared but sadly that's not he case any more.

When I took this picture I felt God speak to me about contentment and seeking His will and Him first and making sure that I am content with what I have. I don't have to go and live in a little hole (or grotto) so that I won't be effected by the choices of the life here on earth.  I just have to make a conscious decision to go His way and to seek Him first and when I do I will feel the contentment that only comes with knowing you are fully loved and accepted.

How are you feeling this week? Had any of those moments when you felt hard done by and as if you were missing out?  Then perhaps you ought to draw nearer and seek His will.

Do leave me a link if you have written a My picture: His words post and I'll pop a link in my post here.

Have a blessed week, Mich x

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If you like what you have read and want to stay up-to-date then subscribe by email for free and receive blog posts directly to your in-box - just click the link Subscribe to Mummy From The Heart... by Email or perhaps you like to keep all your blog reading in one place, if that is the case you can follow me on BlogLovin too!