Finally on the Path to being Fit and Free

I’ve been seeking fitness and freedom for quite some years now. Back at the beginning of 2015, I started to use the hashtag #FitandFree because that was my aim for the year. I thought I was finally going to conquer my weight demons and manage to lose lots of weight, however, it didn’t happen and yet again I became demotivated and remained unhappy in my body.

A 35 Year Journey

My issues with my weight started when I was about 13, or that was when I became aware that I had a problem that I felt needed solving. I remember going to the doctor for help and he told me to write a food diary and then halve it. That was the start of a very painful and prolonged journey of self-hate for the last 35 years. I look back now and I wasn’t even particularly big, yes, a little bigger than some classmates, but absolutely fine.

By the time I left secondary school, I had lost some weight (through attending Weight Watchers classes with my mum) and I was around a size 12/14 I thought I looked amazing and I felt amazing but soon some weight went back on and the first suit I bought at age 16 was a size 16. By the time I headed to University at 18, I was a size 18 and I can remember that I thought that was the most humongous and gross size there ever was, I even cut the labels out of my clothes as I was so ashamed and didn’t want my new friends to know. Little did I know what was to come.

How I'd love those 18-year-old curves again

Even at university when I should have been focusing on studying and enjoying my life as a young adult I can remember going to various weight lossfollowclubs to try and shift some weight, so I could feel ‘normal’, the same as everyone else. Counting calories, recording food, drinking grapefruit juice before I ate, stepping on the scales, checking out food plan points – it was like an obsession.

By age 21 I was down to a size 16 when I met my now-husband and between then and getting married at age 28, I headed upwards to a size 20/22. When you are young you think you have years ahead to ‘sort yourself out’ and I recall weight loss being fairly easy. Cut back and restrict calories and then I could drop 1/2 stone in a week. I look back now and wonder why I never carried through and got to a healthy weight, but I was carrying so much emotional baggage and every time it threatened to resurface, I’d eat and stuff it back down and that sense of shame would grow a little stronger.

Food – my False Idol

The rejection I felt as a child carried through and was reinforced by new situations that life threw at me and I had no resilience and no idea of how to deal with my emotions or these situations. So I ate, as food always comforted me, it never let me down and it was a wonderful smokescreen to stop me from looking too in-depth at where things were going wrong.

I can’t reveal too much as so much of what happened to me isn’t just my story and thus I can’t break confidence but I am so glad I found Jesus. That is what has saved me. Having a personal and loving relationship with God is what makes a difference in my everyday life. It is what sustains me and keeps me going. Reading that, you’d be forgiven for thinking that I have lost several stones of weight and that I am now considered a healthy weight, but no, alas I am still morbidly obese.

On my wedding day in my size 22 dress

However, I don’t have to be at my target weight (I don’t actually have a target weight) to be saved, to find success in my journey. Jesus has redeemed me and I have learnt to accept (moving the knowledge from my head to my heart) that He adores me and He won’t love me anymore when I am eight stone lighter. He also wouldn’t love me any less if I got eight stone heavier.

In the two decades that I have known Jesus and accepted Him as the Lord and Saviour of my life, He has been working on me and I have had a desire to work for Him. I had no clear picture of what that meant, but He has been revealing snippets to me as the years have gone past. When our family moved to East Sussex in the summer of 2013 I had a clear understanding that God wanted me to slow down and just be for a bitfollow. I heard the phrase ‘fit for purpose’ and I believe that it was from God. For quite some years I took that phrase to mean that I needed to lose weight to address health issues and then He could use me. I berated myself each time a diet failed or I got demotivated and stopped going to the gym. Since living here I have started Slimming World around five times and been a member of different gyms on at least six occasions. I’ve also attended a fitness club and tried to do the Couch to 5K. I’m not being a defeatist when I say that all of these attempts failed.

Only God can Work a Miracle

Why did they fail? I think, probably, because I was trying to win in my own steed. A few years back I realised I needed to submit my food and more importantly my fears to God, so He could work on me to help me. But then I continued to battle and kept taking back all the things I had left at the foot of the cross and I made them all my problem again. Fearful that I’d be hungry, fearful of the saggy skin I thought I’d be left with, fearful of intimacy issues, fearful of missing out and fearful of the opportunities that may come my way if I was slimmer and healthier and able to do anything I pleased as my body could take the strain.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:31

But fear can not enter where there is faith. So, I’ve been working on my relationship with Jesus and developing that faith. I’m very proud of the hard work I have put into this process. The determination and dedication I have shown to becoming a better person, to healing my emotional issues and to being available for God has been immense. It hasn’t always been easy but I am so happy to have been through the fiery furnace and to now see my character more in line with Jesus. Of course, there is work still to be done, we’re never quite the finished project but I feel as if I have made leaps and bounds forward and that is thanks to God.

Handing over my Fears & Relying on Him

So, now, at last, I feel able to be brave and to hand any final fears over to God as I exercise my faith and start to cut back on what I eat. I don’t need to overindulgence and overcompensate for unhappiness elsewhere in my life, I am ready to fully submit and to change; to be who Christ truly wants me to be.

I am very much looking forward to starting my new job in March at least 3kg lighter and then going on holiday in October with my family and being 25kg down. That means losing 2.5Kg each month for the next 10 months, which is about 5lb a month so hopefully attainable.

Earlier today I was thinking about hope, as well as faith and being reminded that I don’t have to despair of this weight loss journey that has taken 35 years so far. There is no need for me to be exasperated with myself and to assume I’ll give up or fail, just because I have before. I now have the hope of Jesus and I need to allow Him to sustain me. The only stiving I must do is in my pursuit of Him and my relationship with Him.

Jesus has restored and redeemed me. I learned on my bible study course this morning that Jesus moved women from shame to honour and that is what He has done for me. Thank you, Jesus, that by Your blood I am saved and I can live another day to serve You and love You. Amen.

Making my Mind Up & Working on Forgiveness #SlimmingSunday

Clocking up some steps last weekend with all my family at National Trust, Petworth House

Morning friends,

How are you today? Well I hope. If you are a Mum I wish you a very happy Mothers Day but remember it is just another day and if it doesn't turn out as you hoped it doesn't mean that your kids love you any less. There can be far too much pressure for perfection on days like this.

So on with the matter in hand - slimming! Or perhaps in my case a lack of slimming, I'm really not sure, as for my sanity it feels as if I'm better not stepping on the scales right now. As you know I didn't make it to my Slimming World group last week and yesterday I was away in London with my Mum (I still am) so I should have gone to the Tuesday afternoon group but that would of meant running in getting weighed and running out before the kids got home from their after school club and I found myself umming and aching about whether I really need/want to go to a slimming group at the moment. I'd have had to pay £10 for that quick weight in (two weeks fees) and I felt as if I'd get nothing for it.

For sure, I know that I want and need to lose weight but I think being accountable by this linky and through a Facebook group I have with some slimming friends I actually get the support I need. I really love the consultant at the Slimming World group I've been attending but all her classes are so busy that you don't really get to have a conversation with her and Saturday mornings just seem to fill up with kids activities and holidays. I do really like the short talk that she does each week but it always seems to start late as so many people arrive late to weigh in and then the image therapy (or people sharing their tips / successes) doesn't really inspire me too much. Maybe I've been around the Slimming circuit for too long and actually know most of the tips, I just need to put them into action?

Setting some Targets and Rewards

I wrote this post just over a week ago but due to my haphazard approach to blogging right now, it has taken this long to see the light of day!

It’s practically March and I’m assuming that I’ve not really lost any weight this year despite such good intentions. I say I assume as I’ve not weighed for a few weeks and when I have weighed it has been across three different sets of scales, so that is no help to anyone.

I started out well in January, I got my bedtimes sorted so I didn’t feel so vulnerable and then I let it slip again and since half-term I’ve just not been able to get my energy level back up. I’m not sure if the menopause in on route (I am nearing 43) but I’ve got near continuous heavy bleeding, headaches and cramps coming and going every couple of days. It is so draining and all I want to do is curl up and read a good book. Maybe I should just give in to it?

Today I’ve been thinking about blogging and writing a post and everything that comes to mind is negative. Something is missing in my life right now and the post titles I’ve been coming up with are not very inspiring. They have all been about my lack of interest in, well, anything much at all really. ‘I can’t be arsed’ is probably the phrase to sum most everything up right now.

I’ve just cast my eyes towards the keyboard as I type this and I can see my right hand where my fingers are pulled apart and the skin all around my nails is red raw. It always seems to be something I do when I am low. I suppose it should have been a sign really to wake me up to there being an issue I needed to confront.

So what is the issue you might wonder?

And that’s a good question. I’ve been debating it for the last week or so and it’s not that easy pinpointing something as the cause as generally everything in life is very good. I just keep coming back to that old nugget of my weight and how I’m not happy with my body and this then impacts on my relationship with my husband.

So I must set some targets so I have something to aim for. I can’t keep going through life unhappy with how I look and the example I’m setting to my kids. I’ve been stuck in the mud and stagnant for far too long. So this is what I WILL achieve this year as a minimum –

• By my holiday to Spring Harvest on 4th April – lose 1 stone
• By two gorgeous friends wedding celebration on 10th June – have lost 2 stone
• By my family holiday to Bournemouth on 6th August – have lost 3.5 stone
• By the time I see a great friend again for the first time in 14 years on 10th September – have lost 4 stone

I realise that without targets it has been very hard to keep track of my weight loss and I was just floating along with nothing firm to aim for. Realistically I have far more than 4 stone that I need to lose but I must start somewhere and 4 stone will make such a difference to my health and what I feel I can achieve. I’m pretty sure that when I have gained enough momentum by losing 4 stone that I’ll be able to keep going and head towards a normal BMI and a healthy weight for the rest of my life.

I now need to think about what rewards I might like to give myself for persevering and doing well on my journey toward a fitter and healthier Mich. A Pandora bracelet and a charm for each stone lost feels like a nice idea, I better investigate what that would cost me! lol

The sad and ugly truth – Not so #SilentSunday

A wonderful lady posted this picture of me on Facebook this week
with the caption 'Beautiful face and soul'. Thank you Jeannine xx

I’ve known for a long time, in fact I wrote a post quite sometime back that resonated with a whole load of people. I’ve always been quite open about my problem but I do feel it has been pushed under the carpet for well over a year now. Just look through my blog, when was the last diet or weight related post that I published?

I have all sorts of issues with food, I eat when any kind of emotion is off kilter, so that is happy, sad, anxious and glad (oh and anything in between those too). I eat because I love to eat, I eat because I enjoy food, I eat when I want to celebrate, I eat because I’m bored, I eat out of habit, I eat because I’m scared not too. That last one is totally strange, isn’t it? But I really do have this fear of hunger, it is irrational and I’m not at all sure what I think might happen if I allow myself to get hungry but I get anxious and I don’t like the feeling at all.

For the last year I have been enjoying ignoring my problem, thankfully my weight has only moved by about half a stone in that whole year. It could be far worse but last night was a bit of a wakeup call. I caught sight of myself in the mirror in the girl’s room and I had to look twice, I did not recognise me. What I saw in the mirror was a proper fat person, not just someone over weight but a woman who had really let herself go. I am now at least 7 stone overweight and that is not based on becoming a size 10. That 7 stone, if I lost it would probably take me down to about a size 14. What a world of difference that would be.

So why am I still this size if I am unhappy with the way I look, the example I’m setting to my children and the risks I’m putting my health at? I’m not really sure, it is a question I ponder a lot. I have started and stopped so many diets in my life, I attended Overeaters Anonymous for over a year and I have been great with exercise since we moved to East Sussex but I just don’t seem to have found the right route for me. I do not want to consider surgery, I know it works for some but it feels like a cop out to me. The perfect answer is to eat less and move more, yes I realise it is simple. Simple but not easy for a compulsive overeater.

But with God’s help it can be done, I know this as I have seen it happen and the Bible tells me that He will not forsake me. It will seem weird to many when I say that I think my problem is that I do not believe that God will help me solve this problem. I know that I am supposed to hand over control for my issues to God and He will look after me.  That isn’t a get out clause though, I still have to do the footwork but fundamentally He is in control and I need to give it up to Him, but (and it is a big but) It only works if I believe, yes truly and utterly without any kind of doubt believe that God is there and that He cares enough to help with what on the face of it is a silly problem.  Most definitely a first world problem, one I feel I should be able to get a grip of and sort out.

Today I woke with such good intentions, after seeing myself for what I really look like I ate well all morning and then I went out for tea and cake, which in itself was not such an issue as I had only had 2 ryvita with ham for lunch but then dinner for JJ’s birthday came with a dessert in the price and I was weak and said I’d have it, which of course then lead to my defences being low and the popcorn made an appearance whilst we watched his birthday movie. I hardly even make a conscious decision when I eat these things and that is what needs to change, I must be more mindful when I eat rather than just on auto-pilot.

I feel stupid, I feel ashamed of myself and I feel like I want to hide this post but I must not, when I shove this all down and hide it then the problem is still festering. When I come out and say yes, I have serious issues with food and my consumption of it then I am facing up to the problem and tomorrow I will try harder and I’ll pray and I really want to believe that this is serious enough for God to help me with it. It feels so disrespectful when I doubt Him that I must pray and believe more.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

If you like what you have read and want to stay up-to-date then subscribe by email for free and receive blog posts directly to your in-box - just click the link Subscribe to Mummy From The Heart... by Email or perhaps you like to keep all your blog reading in one place, if that is the case you can follow me on BlogLovin too!

Hi, I'm Mich and I Have a Confession....

Sometimes you just have to open your eyes and see what is going on. 

I have a confession to make, I have let things slip. I have fallen back into old habits. I am doing nothing positive at the moment to sort out my weight problem.

And it is a problem.  Yes I posted yesterday to say I must not be defined by my fat and that still stands. 

But it is also a fact that at 5ft 4" tall and just over 17 stone I am very overweight.  My BMI (body mass index) is 41 and that makes me morbidly obese.  I have fallen into this category for some time now and that should scare me shouldn't it?  It means I have an increased risk of illness, disability and death.  Not too appealing sounding.

#Mumentum - Life is a Learning Curve



Image Credit

I think that title sums it all up pretty well really, life is one big learning curve or perhaps for me it should be like the diagram above, nice managable steps up and then all of a sudden a sheer climb which I just cannot seem to manage and I tumble back down! I seem to get the hang of something, climb the hill and then slowly forget what I have learnt and slump back down.  That sounds a bit negative dosen't it?  But here is the good news, I don't give up.  You can call me rubber band, I'll keep pinging back and I will try, try, try again.  I do have full confidence that one day the miracle will happen with regard to my weight and health related to it.

So here is my summary of the things I have learnt in the last couple of weeks.  The things I need to remember and stick with!

1. When I miss my one session of pilates in a week I find it really hard to stay on track with anything during that week.
2. When I listen to my Thinking Slimmer slimpod, I eat less.  Simple, it works, I just have to remember to...
3. go to bed at a decent hour so I remember to play it, I feel so much better for an early night and ...
4. it allows me to get up at 6am to do my exercise, which I do really enjoy.  So no excuse Mich!
5. Then lastly, I realise that I eat so much better when I have a meal plan for the week. So here is this weeks effort -

Monday
Breakfast   2 weetabix, banana
Snack   Melba toast and philli
Lunch  Ham, cheese and salad wrap, yoghurt
Snack  Crisps
Dinner   Jacket potato with tuna and beans, sugar free jelly

Tuesday
Breakfast  Porridge, OJ
Snack   Apple
Lunch  Jacket potato with beans
Snack  Melba toast and phili
Dinner  Quorn and veg stir fry

Wednesday
Breakfast  Shreddies, Banana
Snack  Carrot sticks
Lunch  Ham & salad sub, crisps
Snack  Apple
Dinner  Spinach and ricotta tortellini and tomato sauce. Rice pudding

Thursday
Breakfast  Porridge, OJ
Snack  Melba toast and Philli
Lunch  Chicken and veg soup, with ryvita and ham
Snack  Banana
Dinner  Home made chicken nuggets and wedges, sugar free jelly

Friday
Breakfast   Beans on toast, OJ
Snack  Buttered malt loaf
Lunch Tuna salad
Snack  Cup a soup
Dinner  Chicken tikka, naan bread, sag aloo and salad

Saturday & Sunday  I have no idea yet if I am honest.  I have the lovely @Seasiderclare coming to stay Friday night so who knows what we will do/ eat on the Saturday and then Sunday will probably be something good to make up for the day before!

Does anyone have any good snacks they can share with me please?  I need something filling, ideally low GI and not too many calories.

If you have read this and are on a similar journey, don't forget to link up with Liska (click on the #Mumentum badge) and for the first time I'm linking up with Mrs M too for Meal Planning Monday.
Stay well, Mich x

           

 

It's about more than just weight loss... #Mumentum

Image Credit

Last week I posted about my new exercise regime and I am pleased to say that things are still going well.  I am doing my walking DVD and I also went to Pilates on Thursday and yes I ached again for a couple of days.

I was chatting to my instructor and he said that if he could give me one tip this week it would be to eat my carbs at lunchtime and then to have a meal full of protein and green veg for dinner.  This really struck home with me, as when I lost lots of weight in 2006 that was exactly what I did, cut back on the carbs.  I know I need to take heed and make some changes to my food.  An eating plan has not really been at the top of my list in the last couple of weeks.  Hence I won't be reporting any weight loss again this week but that is OK.  I realised I am in this race and it is a marathon and not a sprint.

I am getting a new Thinking Slimmer slimpod, the Chocoholics Cure in the next few days and that I expect to make a really good difference.  I know the value of listening to my slimpod but I do feel ready for a new one to add a bit of variety.

I have also been reading a new book the last week or so.  It is by Joyce Meyer who is a prominent US preacher and I have watched many of her sermons before and I like her style of teaching.  I am finding this book very good.  It basically says it has 12 keys to enjoying a healthy life, the title is 'Look Great. Feel Great' and that is certainly my mission. I have only read the first 3 chapters so far but my appetite is whetted and I am ready to read more.

In the first Chapter she advises that we allow God to do the heavy lifting and reminds me that I cannot deal with my weight problem/ food addiction alone.  My eating fellowship taught me the same thing and sadly I have not been remembering that on a daily basis.  The task I had to complete from this chapter was to write myself an affirmation to say each morning to remind myself that I am not alone and that I am worth it.  I'll share it with you -

Dear Lord,


I thank You that You love me and care about every aspect of my life. Please strengthen me Lord to do Your will and to be able to be the best person I can be in Christ. I know that when I turn to You and ask for something in Jesus name that You listen. Help me Lord, to remember to turn to You. When my willpower is wavering and I am tempted, remind me Lord that You are waiting and You wish to help. How beautiful it is to remember that You will never give me a burden too heavy for me to bear. When times feel tough I need to turn to You God as my Lord and master and not to food as my false idol.

Thank you for making me free through the truth of Your word and for empowering me with Your power, strength and wisdom. Help me to be all that You want me to be.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

So that is me for this week, all in all not too bad!

Exercise                                                     tick
Early nights                                                tick
Loving myself                                            tick
Reading healthy & helpful literature       tick
Balanced eating                                         to work on...
How are you doing?  If you are on a weight loss journey then link your post up with Liska at New Mum Online for #Mumentum.
 
Mich x
 

16 is the Magic Number! #Mumentum

Another week and here I am again, no slimmer I am afraid but I will be taking full opportunity to post every week about my battle with my weight!  There is a lot of be said for being disciplined.

An article caught my eye this week on my homepage, about Ruth Jones (girlfriend of James Cordon) and her weight loss journey.  In the online article I read it said she had lost 4.5 stones and gone down to a size 16, I see the Daily Mail says a size 12, whatever, she looks fabulous and I would love to emulate her success.  Some weight loss stories I look at and they do nothing for me but looking at Ruth I feel motivated and how did she do it? The age old method of taking in less calories than those she was losing. As we say at my eating disorders group, simple really.  Not easy but simple!


Image Credit

Image Credit

Looking at the most recent picture of Ruth made me think about being a  size 16 and I was trying to recall the last time I was that size. 1998 was probably it, I had slimmed down from a size 20 and remained at a 16 for about a year, then like always the weight crept back on. In the hope of reminding me that I look good and healthy at a size 16 I have dug out some old photos.  They are not the best quality as they are all photos of photos but hopefully they will do something towards motivating me.

Look at those curves and toned arms.....  if only!

Practically no tummy, my first LBD. Age 19

Size 14 in this one. Unheard of to be that flat under my bust!

I recall feeling so good in this size 16 dress

1998

So whilst I have not actually lost any weight this week I will look for the good and say that I am pleased to have recognised that I need to stay focused on the goal. The overridding goal is that I want to be a size 16 next year when I speak at Britmums.

I need to keep my eyes to heaven and not on the nitty gritty of everyday life.  If I allow the detail to get in the way of the big plan then I will never succeed.  Life is full of ups and downs and I have to take them as they come, deal as best I can with them and keep on going......  Thank you Jesus for walking with me!

I am linking this post up with Liska's #Mumentum.

Looking After Mich

What use are we to other people when we are not taking care of ourselves? That is the question I have been asking myself just recently and the truth is not a lot.  We think we are doing the right thing by putting the emphasis on them and looking after their needs but in the end we lose out. I know for me I just end up tired, crabby and bitter.  Hmm that sounds like a Mich you all want to hang out with doesn't it?

So I was pleased this week to have yet again realised that I must look after myself. More for myself than anyone else, I am listing the areas that I must look after  -

1. Sleep.  I need to make sure I am getting more of this.  I have made headway in the last week, there has not been a night that I have stayed up later than 11.30pm and that is good but not good enough. I need some early nights and to start feeling refreshed.  Dh got up this morning and I had a lie in and it was bliss, so needed. 
2. Exercise. I rejoined the sports village at work last week (yes it really is as spectacular as it sounds, it hosts loads of training Olympians and me, lol!) and I have been to the gym a couple of times and also swam.  My inner thighs are telling me they hate me right now in fact.  I am feeling really good for some exercise and aim to do soem at least 3 times each week.
3. Food. The last week has been bad, I have not been making a concerted effort but I was super chuffed to be asked by Slimavite to be a trailist for them.  So in about a week I will be starting on their bite plan diet and blogging about it so you can all follow my success, for that is what it will be.
4. Saying No. I promise to keep time for myself, to stop saying yes to things and offering to do things.  I must keep some time to myself to just be.  To read and to enjoy my life, not allow it to float past me.

You see that photo there, that is one I use online, it was taken in 2010, when I was about 2 stone lighter than I am now.  I was still far too big but I think I look good and I want to look that happy with the way I look again.

So this is where I am.  I have not weighed for a couple of weeks.  I figure why bother when I am not being particularly good.  I'll weight when I start my new diet plans with Slimavite but for now I have the MADs on Friday and a lovely new outfit from M&S to wear for it - I can't wait!

I am linking this post up for Liska's #Mumentum.  Come and join in if you are a Mum and are trying to lose your mum Tum.

Hello, Do I know you?

You do look very familiar, there is something very accustomed about you but I just can not put my finger on it. Is it the hair, I definitely feel like I recognise the hair.

Have we met before?  Am I imagining this?  or are you on my tail?

Each time I turn around, you are there at the moment.  I sort of feel as if you are living my life.

I walk down the street and I catch glimpses of you in the shop windows.

Guest Post: Alyson shares Diet number 478, The one that worked!

Another guest post for you today and something completely different. Back at the beginning of the year I found a wonderful lady through twitter and looked at her blog and was amazed to find she had been on the kind of weight loss journey that I dream of taking. She invited me to be part of a group of special women on Facebook who support each other through their eating dramas and I just find her to be the most inspirational and uplifting person.  I asked her to share a bit of her story with us.  I give you Alyson...

-------------------------------------------------

Michelle asked me to write a guest post about my weight loss and when someone as lovely as Mich asks then it’s time to get writing.


For all of my adult life I have been overweight to a greater or lesser extent, sometimes a couple of stones overweight, sometimes 8 stone overweight and all the stones in between, I had that conversation with my doctor that involved the phrase `morbidly obese` oh how I hate those awful pigeon holes... but that's a whole other post.

I`ve tried EVERY diet, all the mental ones, liquid only ones, cabbage and doctor prescribed ones, the whole nine yards, and depending on how I was feeling at the time, I either fell royally off the wagon and gained back more, or succeeded in losing a lot and then went straight back to my lifestyle and ploughed it all back on again.

Yes, Yes I Realise I have been Neglectful!

Image Credit

No, not of my children you will be pleased to hear but neglectful of myself.

It is a hard position you find yourself in when you become a parent, my gut and heart tell me to put the kids first, they are my number 1 priority and then I go to the eating disorders meeting and that preaches that I must put myself first, what use am I to others if I am not well looked after?  I find so much common sense and truth in that, but I do not seem to be doing it.

I Want to say Goodbye!

Image Credit

Why is it that it is so hard to say goodbye to some things or some people? Things or people that are harmful to us and hurt us, can cause damage that can only be seen in years to come? Why do we keep getting drawn back to situations and practices that are not good for our physical and emotional health? You hear of abused children who continue to love their abuser and kidnap victims who grow to protect their abductor. Then there are also silly people like me with an addiction that keeps pulling them back to something which is causing them and often others harm. Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying that my problems with food are on a par to being abused but let’s be honest that is what I am doing to myself. Every time I stuff my face I take a step towards an early heart attack, diabetes and joint problems.