Tips for Remaining Confident as a Teenager with Psoriasis

I'm really proud of my 17-year-old son, not only because he is super smart and already has his career with GCHQ mapped out in his mind, but because he is living with a long-term chronic skin condition and he does it with such good humour.  You'd be forgiven for looking at that photo above and thinking he is just a pretty normal teenage lad, perhaps a bit geeky or a nerd, but there doesn't look as if there is anything out of the usual, does there?

However, look a bit deeper and you'd see red or scaly white patches covering most his body. Why? Because he has plaque psoriasis. 

Living with Psoriasis

Until JJ started to develop psoriasis three years ago it wasn't something I knew much about. I had no idea that it is estimated around 2 - 3% of the UK population are suffering with it (according to the UK Psoriasis Association), and it's only in the last year that I've seen just how bad it can get, both on JJ and by joining some online support groups. 

Psoriasis is a particularly difficult skin condition as there is no cure for it, and it presents differently on each person. I'm also learning that what works to helps relieve it at one point may stop working, and there is a massive range of treatments to choose from. It can be quite overwhelming if I am entirely honest.

JJ's psoriasis started off on his back, behind his ears and a patch above his left eye, then over time it has spread and worsened. Whenever I read about psoriasis there is always a description of it flaring up and being worse for a while and then subsiding again. Sadly, this hasn't been the case for JJ, the psoriasis on his body has been progressively getting worse over the last year or so. The plaques on his face do seem to go down with topical steroid creams but we are really trying to limit the use of those.

You can see the from the zoomed-in photos below the reality of how psoriasis can look when you are up close. JJ's daily reality is a scalp that itches and flakes excessively leaving him with 'dandruff' shoulders, red or scaly white patches on his face and his body, constant moisturising to help take away the tightness, itchiness or even pain of his skin, a floor that needs hoovering almost as soon as you've just done it and bedclothes that end up covered in emollient. 

He doesn't have the luxury of most teenage boys, that of choosing if he has a skincare regime, without looking after his skin he'd be uncomfortable all the time.

Living your Children’s Lives

JJ at his happiest, with a big pizza in front of him!

Sometimes it can be really tricky not to try and impose your world view and to live your child’s life for them. And I don’t mean the extremes, we all know parents who are a failed musician or weren’t encouraged in their desire to be a model and now have a child who is excelling in that hobby or career.

I’ve always been keen for my children to be unique, just the way God created them to be. So whilst in my heart I had this desire that JJ would be an amazing musician and would lead worship in our church, I knew from an early age it probably wouldn’t happen as he didn’t show any interest in playing an instrument. I could have signed him up for lessons and bought a guitar or keyboard, putting all my energy into him mastering his craft, but that would have been about me, not him, and that’s not fair.

So despite my unfulfilled aspirations (singer, runner, artist) I let my kids be and waited to see where their personalities would take them. If you asked me I’d probably have told you that I had this part of parenting nailed, I wasn’t projecting my desires onto the kids and they were free to do what they fancied.

However, as I was chatting with JJ during the recent Easter break I realised this isn’t quite true. I do have expectations and norms that I was subconsciously expecting them to conform to. Not to attend clubs, master hobbies or attain beyond their means but just in regard to how their life might look, how they spend their time. I’ll explain.

JJ, Age 14 Reviews the Young Driver Experience at Bluewater, Kent

Today we took the 90 minute drive from our home on the South-east coast up to Bluewater, the massive shopping centre in Kent. Shopping wasn't our main reason for the visit though, no today was about JJ enjoying one of his Christmas gifts. He had received a gift voucher for a 1 hour Young Driver experience and he was super keen to get behind the wheel of the car.

He's nearly 15 but hasn't tried out driving before so we had no idea how well he would take to it. On the one hand he is very intelligent and takes in information really easily but on the other this was the kid who had occupational therapy for a few years as he could hardly balance and had no spacial awareness. I need not have worried though as JJ took to it like a duck to water.

Off they go to start the lesson

What are Young Driver Lessons?
If your child is between 10 and 17 years of age they can sign up for a 30 or 60 minute lesson at one of over 60 venues across the UK. Young Driver have been giving lessons since 2009, delivering over 500,000 lessons with hand-picked, DBS checked instructors. The cost is £36.95 for a 30 minute lesson or £67.95 for a 60 minute lesson. I also see that they do birthday party packages and I think the price of £66 for a 15 minute lesson for four children is excellent. Do keep your eyes peeled on money saving sites too, as I've spotted a number of special offers around.

Its so Important to Thank our Brilliant Teachers

Best teacher mage courtesy of Shutterstock

In 2013 our family moved from Hertfordshire to East Sussex and whilst this has been the right move for our family for so many reasons, it is the children's schooling where I have been most pleased. Our three children attended a big town school in Herts where there were 500 students and very high attainment levels. Of course that's not a bad thing in general but it led of our children being just another pupil and not being seen for the unique individuals they are.

When we moved to East Sussex we looked at a couple of schools local to our new rural home but one easily stood out for us. The children's new school is a small Church of England School in a local village, it has around 140 pupils and only five classes for the whole school from reception through to year 6. I worried at first that these mixed year classes might hold my kids back but it has actually proved to be completely the opposite.

In 2013 JJ was 10 years old and heading into year 5 at the new school and the twins were 6 years old and going into year 2 and it was amazing, especially for JJ, to be judged on his merits of who he was at that time. JJ had attended his last school since he was 4 years old and they had watched him develop from an oversized pre-schooler with spacial awareness issues, to a troubled young boy who struggled to make friends and deal with change, through to the gifted ten year old he was when he started his new school. But his old school seemed to have stopped in their assessment of him and he was painted as a kid with issues and one who was a challenge to have in class.

Within a week of being in the new school he had received a Head Teachers Award for how well he had settled in and they truly seemed to be able to see him for who he really was and not who he might have been a few years back. It was amazing and lifted my spirits so much. I don't know if it is because of an exceptional Head Teacher that you get marvellous teachers in general or if a small village schools attracts them but whatever it is, I need to give a big thank you to Mr Payne, Mrs Lloyd, Mrs Cleaves and Mrs Gill in particular.

What does a 13 Year Old do with his Inset Day from School?

On Friday it was an inset day at JJ's secondary school. I'm not sure what most of his friends do when it's an inset day but I suspect there are very few of them that do what JJ does and say "Yes Mum! Can I come to food bank with you?".

This is probably the fourth or fifth time that JJ has chosen to spend his day off school with me serving at the Hastings food bank and what does he get out of it you might wonder? Well firstly, he gets to spend the day with his mum of course. Then I sometimes take him to the local Premier Inn for a buffet breakfast before we start work and he also gets the satisfaction of a good days work and having helped some people.

I wouldn't say that at 13 years JJ is particularly altruistic so I don't think his main reason for doing it is because he loves to help others but to be frank it doesn't really matter to me. The fact that he comes along willingly, spends around four hours there and mucks in and helps the whole time are enough. He'll be learning so much from these experiences and they are not skills he'd pick up in the classroom so I'm happy.

12 Signs You're Doing OK as a Parent of a Teenager

My JJ is now 13 and as tall as many kids 2 or 3 years older than him. He is also very intelligent, quite wise and great fun to be around. Yes there are the odd 'Kevin' (of Kevin and Perry fame) moments but generally he is a sound lad and will do what is asked of him.

Who knows if we have all the troublesome years ahead of us, maybe we are just getting away with it easy now and the future will be a nightmare but I won't start worrying about that just yet.

Review: Ibis London Excel Docklands Hotel

I'm now the proud parent of a teenager as JJ turned 13 just over a week ago. When I asked him what he wanted for his birthday he said money or Steam (online gaming) vouchers from all the family but from Dad and I he'd like an experience rather than a present.

A couple of years ago for Christmas he was stuck for what he wanted as a gift and I booked him and my husband to have a weekend in London together. They had so much fun that JJ wanted to do the same again. So I approached Ibis to see if they might like to host my two boys for a night and they were fantastic and the Manager of the Ibis, London Excel Docklands said he would love to offer them a nights stay and breakfast the next morning.

We already had plans to spend the day as a family at Kidzania on the Saturday but I suggested to JJ that the girls and I could then get the train home and he and my husband could stay on and have some fun. They chose to stay in the Westfield Centre, Shepherds Bush and go for a gourmet burger and to see the movie Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children, which they both said was really good.

Kidzania - A Kids Paradise in London's Westfield Centre

I've been dealing with a very tired 9 year old today, she didn't get to sleep until gone 11pm last night and now she is jumpy and hyper-sensitive. Thank the Lord that our 1pm arrival time has come around for entry into Kidzania as she may now finally calm down a little and settle in to her afternoon of fun!

At the beginning of the year my 9 year old twin girls came to Kidzania with their school class and loved it. It was all they talked about for a couple of weeks. So when it got close to JJ's 13th birthday and he said he fancied a visit too, I jumped at Kidzania's offer to host our family on a date of our choice. We visited on Saturday 8th October for the 4 hour slot commencing at 1pm and I expected it to be heaving but thankfully I was wrong (although the girls tell me it was busier than the school day they had last visited).

Arrival

As our tickets had been booked in advance for us we had printed tickets and this meant we could head straight inside Kidzania and go up the three floor to the British Airways departure lounge. Check-in was easy and the member of staff very smiley and friendly, he certainly knew how to relate to kids. He checked if the kids had any allergies or additional needs and fitted us all with a security bracelet. This meant the kids couldn't leave without my husband or myself and it also acts as a location tracker.

They were handed 50 kidZos each (money just available for the children to earn and spend in Kidzania) and the girls explained to their brother how he earns or spent them. Miss E had saved some KidZos from her previous visit and thus had enough to open a bank account if she wanted. This was the cause of great excitement.

Review: Mountain Warehouse Backpacker Lightweight 2 Man Tent

My JJ loves to camp, he has been so many times that I've lost count and I'm really quite proud that he is a competent camper. When we go to events that involve fire-starting or outdoors work like wood whittling or kayaking JJ is on it and always asked to help set things up or to supervise.

Previously on his camps he has shared a tent with his Dad or with other scouting friends so we haven't needed to get him a tent but this time around he was asked to take his own tent rather than use a Scout group one and Dh's is a bit big for him to take when he needs to carry all his own kit, so we asked Mountain Warehouse if they could help us out with a small but effective tent that JJ could take to this Scout camp.

I have to say, they really came up trumps. JJ was sent the Backpacker Lightweight 2 man tent which is currently an absolute bargain at £49.99, this being half price from its regular price of £99.99. When JJ first showed me this tent online and said he was interested I thought it looked a good model as it is super small when packed and only weighs 1.8kg.

How are our Hotter School Shoes standing up to JJ's Tests?

Back in January JJ was gifted a pair of men's Venture shoes from our local Hotter shoe shop in Eastbourne. We wrote a review of the enjoyable buying experience and I said I'd update you all on how these shoes are lasting.

JJ is quite a typical 12 year old boy, except for the fact that he is the size of a 15 year old and has size 9 feet. He is also very heavy footed and this means he has been going through school shoes far too quickly and now due to his man-sized feet they are costing us £40 or £50 each time. For this reason I asked Hotter to allow us to review some of their men's shoes to see how they would hold up to JJ's regular antics.

He has now had his shoes for three months and they are still wearing very well. Within a couple of weeks the leather had softened up and he found them like a glove to wear. Yes they get scuffed and look filthy at times but with a clean and polish they come up looking good as new.

How JJ's shoes arrive home from school

I didn't realise that JJ had taken me quite so seriously when I asked him to put them through their paces and give them a really good try out. Apparently he even went wading in the sea at the youth club treasure hunt the other week and yes these shoes with GORETEX technology really are waterproof (thankfully). But then he already knew that as his daily walk to the school bus is often down a flooded back road and he wades straight through the mud and water.

Returning home sopping wet

I asked JJ if anything could be improved in regard to his shoes and his only comment was that he would have liked longer laces, as there is hardly enough length in the supplied ones to tie them, let alone do a double bow, which is what he feels he needs. After about six weeks one of the laces did snap, so we have since replaced them but that was no issue as the laces are just a cheap consumable part of the shoes.

In general we are very happy with his Hotter men's shoes and we will happily invest in them again as shoes for school. Thanks so much Hotter.

July 2016 Update:  JJ's Hotter shoes lasted him right to the end of the term and I'd be sending him back to school in them if it wasn't for the fact that his feet have grown again!

Disclosure: we were gifted these shoes for the purpose of this review. I have not been instructed what to write and I remain honest.

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Adventurer Mens Waterproof Boots from Mountain Warehouse

JJ came home from Scouts a couple of weeks ago with his new programme for the term and it looked like they were going to have lots of fun - explorer camp, hiking, life skills, emergency aid, buggy races, tending their allotment and a water camp. As I scanned the list I noted the remark that all scouts would need to make sure they had sturdy walking boots for the hike as it would be over rough terrain and shoes, however study, just do not give the ankle support that is needed.

I recalled that last time we had gone out for a ramble JJ had been moaning that his walking boots were pinching, so I got them out to have a look and low and behold I found they are only a size 7 and he is now between an 8-9. I therefore knew it was time to have a look on the Mountain Warehouse site and see what was available for JJ at a good price. I was super impressed that there were walking boots on there ranging from just £19.99 for a basic pair up to £159.99 for top of the range Apex Isogrip ones.

As JJ is still a growing lad (he is only 12 years afterall) I didn't want anything too expensive but I wanted his feet to be comfy, dry and well-supported so I opted for a pair of Adventurer Mens Waterproof Boots  in a grey and orange colourway. I see the other colour option - blue and dark grey, which is also very nice, has gone into the sale and is just £29.99 now too. The boots are available in sizes 7 - 12 and I think they come up true-to-size.  We went for a 9 for JJ as he can wear thicker socks or even two pairs whilst they are on the larger size and then grow into them, making them a wise investment.

A new Hobby for JJ

I was super pleased when our small gym was given a make-over recently. It is in the basement of the main house at the conference centre where we live and it has always been dark and dingy.

However, hard work from many of the young volunteer team has meant that a window has been unblocked and new equipment has been purchased and it has all been spruced up with paint and new safer flooring's.

This complete change has meant that my 12 year old son JJ has started to show an interest in using the gym and let's be honest, anything that gets my computer loving son out of the house and doing something physical is alright with me.

It's also fabulous that many of the international volunteers who live here are very into personal fitness and we even have one qualified personal trainer amongst them, so JJ has been given some great tuition and tips of how to exercise safely.

It was great timing that JJ received his Adidas Terrex Boast GTX trainers (with GORE-TEX® technology to ensure your feet stay dry even during the wettest of weathers and activities) some weeks back as they have been perfect for exercising in - light weight, good grip and able to keep his feet dry and sweat free. I went down to capture JJ in action at the weekend and I thought I'd share some pictures -

Growing in Confidence along with your Child

It is all too easy to feel like you are failing at parenting. Whilst there are hundreds of manuals and books giving you instruction on the best way to do things, at the end of the day it is all down to personal preference and I think we grow and improve with time.

I've been a parent for over 12 years now and if I'm honest it feels like a lifetime (in a good way). I can hardly recall what it was like to have a weekend ahead and no-one else relying on me. Parenting certainly does help you learn to be less self-centered when you have a small person (or three) relying on you for their every need,

But it is scary at first, right? I clearly remember bringing JJ home from the hospital after a traumatic birth and having been in there for four days. We headed straight off to Mothercare to buy some dummies (or soothers as them seem to be called nowadays), have a quick McDonalds so I didn't have to worry about tea and then my husband headed out to lead Cub Scouts and left me at home with this tiny little person with baggy skin and big alien eyes.

I laugh when I think back to myself sat on the sofa with JJ at my shoulder pondering when dh would come home as what did I do if he cried too much? How could it be that the last time I sat on that sofa it was only me and my husband to be concerned about and now we had this special responsibility of parenting a child. Rather than being too worried I did what has now become a habit at times when I need reassurance. I headed to the Internet and more specially at that time to my birth club on Baby Centre.

Half Term Fun and Memorable Moments #GetPopped

What a great half-term week we have had. I wasn't sure whether to book a holiday but the kids all asked to stay home and just have some days out so that is what we did and it fitted in really well as just before half-term Popchips (the popped potato snack) challenged me to have six days of enjoyable experiences and to take a packet of Popchips with me for each.

They set the challenge to celebrate the launch of their new 6 pack multipacks, which are available in Sea Salt and BBQ flavours. I can genuinely tell you that I am so glad they set me this challenge as I'd not tried Popchips before and I really like them. As someone who needs to be cutting down on calories they are my new best friend at around 70 calories for a packet.

Popchips believe that every day should be filled with joyful and light-hearted moments and I set about capturing those. Not just the moments that you know are pretty special but also the ones that are easily missed and must not be taken for granted. I wrote recently about how important it is to choose joy and to make sure you live in the moment and delight in the small stuff.

The Happiest Boy Alive - JJ is now Officially Amazing! #GWRLive! #GWR2016

Is that title enough to give it away?  Can you guess what my little man did last week?

He only went and bagged himself an official Guinness World Record (GWR), not everyone can do that, me included! Over the last four years our family has been lucky enough to attend four GWR events and both JJ and I have missed out on records by just one or two, thus our determination to get one for the family was pretty strong. So when we headed up to the GWR office last Tuesday I commented on Twitter that we were 'limbered up and ready to break some records'.  Little did I know it would turn out to be true!

Thank You Lord for My Boy

The girls had an inset day today and as a treat I drove JJ to school so he did not have to ride the bus which requires him to leave home 80 minutes before school starts. Today we drove the 11 minute car journey and wondered why on earth the bus journey takes such a very long time!

That's not what this post is about though. I was on the journey back home when I started to reflect on how very lucky I am that JJ sets his alarm and gets himself up in the morning. I have many friends with 12/13 year old children who have a battle each day to get their child up and dressed. I am truly lucky and very, very grateful that I don't have this fight with JJ. Of course it could all change, the hormones are arriving and it could get much more tricky but for now, I am just happy that he is generally a really good lad and great fun to spend time with too.

Dear So and So - The Random Musings

OK, uneasy Feeling,

You can bog right off. I hate you. There is no need for me to have this sense of dread, this worry that something might be wrong. Yes there are a few little niggling things but none of them are important and none of them need to take up excessive mind space.

Whenever I feel like this, I have learnt that I have to acknowledge that my equilibrium is off and then I need to be really conscious to acknowledge what is troubling me and work out the worst case scenarios. At this point I know it is all manageable and I refuse to allow the devil to steal my joy.

So there you go, bleur feelings. You've had your marching orders. Time to leave Mich alone as I won't be succumbing to the downward spiral that you would love me to embark on!

I remain in control and God is the only one I answer to!

Michelle

The Kids Enjoying their New GORE-TEX® Shoes

Back in July I was sent a pair of shoes for Miss M and JJ as part of the new GORE-TEX® Big Days Out Ambassadorship. They asked me to get the kids to have some fun over the summer and put the shoes through their paces to see how they perform. They received a pair of GORE-TEX® Legero Tanaro shoes each.

In general we were really happy with the shoes, they were comfortable for the children, easy to put on and great in all weathers. Miss M's leather shoes did start to look quite worn-in after a while but they polished up well. The black leather does dye onto the white laces but this didn't really create an issue for us but it is interesting trying to teach an 8 year old to tie her own laces

I wouldn't hesitate to buy Legaro sheos with GORE-TEX® in the future as they have performed super well.

Here are some of the adventures that the kids took their shoes on -

Climbing old castle ruins

Review and Giveaway - Chatty Feet BadAss Sock Collection

Last year I received some Chatty Feet socks to review and I love them.  In fact everyone I meet and who sees them loves them. I lost two pairs of mine to my Mum, I bought a load for Christmas gifts to give to people and my son JJ wears nothing else.  He has four pairs and they go in and out of the wash. I can happily tell you that JJ's socks are still in great condition and at this stage I might have expected some holes to be appearing or parts to be wearing thin but nothing after eight months of constant wear, so this brand definitely gets my thumbs up. You can check out my full review by clicking here.

I had to smile when I received my Chatty Feet newsletter recently and saw they have launched a new four pair gift box set, called the BadAss sock collection.  Now I'm not so sure about the name, I probably shouldn't be encouraging anyone I know to be a badass but I just had to get these..

The set contains four pairs of socks, each with their own take on the main character from a well known action film - we have the Sockfather, Mambo, Toeminator and Karate Feet. The set is £30, which is more than I would normally pay for socks but given that I know how well they last I'm actually OK with paying this amount and it includes standard delivery cost.

I'm keeping these socks hidden away, either for JJ's birthday or maybe even Christmas but I got my husband to model Mambo for me and he had great fun curling his toes and making him look more mean. As you can see the character is on the bottom and top of the sock and they can much amusement. The set is available in shoe size 4 - 8 or otherwise 9-12, so these socks are aimed at adults.

GIVEAWAY

I have a BadAss collection set of 4 pairs of socks to giveaway to one lucky reader. All you have to do is leave me a comment telling me which BadAss character would you be and what you would fight for. Please use the Rafflecopter widget so I know how I can contact you if you are the lucky winner.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Good luck and make sure you check out the T&C's for the giveaway.

Thanks a lot, Mich x

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Stuck in the Snow with a Newborn - Why I Love Novotel

I have a bit of a soft spot for Novotel. It is not that I have stayed in lots of their hotels or even in just one of them but many times, it was the circumstance I found myself in when I stayed at the Novotel, Stevenage back in early 2004 that means the brand still tugs at my heart strings.

I had my first child JJ in October 2003 and he was a good little baby, he fitted straight into our lives and we continued to do all the things we loved. So one day when dh was off from work I asked if he fancied going to the Harvester in Stevenage for lunch. We love the salad and spit roast chicken so it is a fairly healthy meal out we can enjoy. As it was a weekday daytime we knew there should be room for our 3 month old JJ to sleep in his car seat whilst we ate.