Listening to God and Knowing My Calling will Come

I've been enjoying a spot of colouring today as I prayed and pondered on the season I'm in right now. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Gods definitely been asking me to be patient and wait on him. I listened to an excellent podcast from @godcenteredmom with @sarahagertywrites yesterday that really resonated with me. I don't have to seek out my purpose just to feel useful. ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻 He's getting me ready! Who knows what for but I'm excited to find out...

A post shared by Michelle Pannell (@michelletwinmum) on Oct 6, 2017 at 11:27am PDT

You know sometimes there is something brewing inside you and you're not even really sure what it is? Well God's been speaking to me and I've been trying really hard to listen and to understand what He has been saying. In fact I've been trying to write this blog post for days but it just hasn't flowed and I think that is because I've been absorbing and allowing His message and words to fall deep within me.

I've always known that God is more interested in my character than my comfort. He never created me to live a blessed life and to have things my way. I'm not here to get what I want out of life, I am here to serve His purpose and to be a disciple of Jesus, showing others the way to a better life by knowing Him. Of course this isn't always easy though as by my very flawed nature as a human I am selfish and think of me first. I want what I want.

Recently I've been seeking a job, something to give me satisfaction and where I can feel useful but the only interview that I went to didn't work out and I have to say I was surprised but a few weeks down the line and I'm not at all, I now see it is for the best. I was trying to fill a round hole with a square peg. I don't just need any old job, I need whatever it is that God has planned for me and it may well not fall into my timing but when His timing comes it will be so good, of that I'm sure.

I'm learning to Ignore the inner voices, the ones in my head that say I should be working, I should be busy, I shouldn't be enjoying my life as much as I am and I'm tuning in to God's voice. The one that says spend time with me Michelle, slow down, enjoy life, smell the roses and take care of yourself. I keep hearing the word abide, and abide means to accept or to act in accordance with, so when I look at the verse below I remember I have to be fully immersed in my relationship with God to be able to produce fruit.

"Abide in me, and I will abide in you. Just as the branch cannot produce fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me." John 15:4

Praying for Future Grace

 

Last night as part of my Freedom in Christ course I was introduced to the concept of praying for future grace. It is not a term I’ve ever heard spoken before but it really struck me and has sat with me all morning and I keep musing it.

I was asked if I ever pray the night before for the tools I’ll need the next day to help me through the day and whilst I do pray for situations that might be coming up the next day or things that are troubling me. I have never named all the things I’ll need to help me through the next day – things like patience, joy, self-control, wisdom etc

I like the idea of this if I’m honest and it seems really authentic, as if I’d be more purposefully connecting with God and invoking his help in my day-to-day life and particularly in my struggle areas, like that of over-eating. I absolutely know that God is willing to be involved in all parts of my life and that whatever I do He loves me the same but the bible tells me to ask, seek, knock (Matthew 7:7) and the answers will be provided and the door opened and I feel as if praying into these situations asking for what I need the next day will be actively seeking and unlocking the door.

That feels really powerful.

I had a bit of a google to see if others are using the term future grace and I came across a book of the same name written by John Piper and I’m going to treat myself to it as I feel as if the Lord has led me to this book. It appears that Pipers position is that too many Christians are attempting to be good disciples of Christ from a sense of gratitude, whereas it would be better to follow Jesus as we walk in faith and belief of the grace he extends day by day. I like the idea of this as it feels like a relationship built on heart knowledge rather than just head. Having wrote a blog post on here a while back I realised that I needed to move much of my knowledge from my head to my heart, so this sounds perfect. I really liked this quote taken from John Pipers Desiring God website

By grace I do not merely mean the pardon of God in passing over your sins, but also the power and beauty of God to keep you from sinning

How amazing if I can move from a place of feeling like I have no option but to sin (normally overeating in my case) to being confident of God’s grace and His conditional love for me being the antidote.  I’ll keep you posting.

For now, here is tonight prayer for future grace for tomorrow –

Dear Lord,

Thanks for all You do for me, I love being Your child and being able to study Your word and get to know You better.

• Please Father can I ask for time so that I may sit and wait on You to hear what Your will is and what You want me to do each day.
• I ask for self-control that I may be able to hold back from eating foods that I don’t need or ones I know are not wholesome and useful for my body
• I ask for wisdom of how to spend my time and where to place my thoughts. Please help me to use the time I have effectively to glorify You.
• I ask for humility so that when things go well I remember it is about You and not about me. I can only do these things through Your gifts and strength.
• I pray for tolerance that when I come into contact with people who I find difficult that I might meet them in the supernatural and be able to extend Your love to them.
• Even though I don’t think I deserve it, I know that grace covers that and it comes without conditions so please Lord I ask that You help me to be fit and well.  That my aches in my legs will cease, that my periods return to a normal and manageable level and that my lungs work to their full capacity.
• I pray Lord You give me a desire to move more and to exercise to help me be fitter and lose some weight.
• Also Lord, please I pray can You help me to be kind to myself. No longer do I want to label myself or call me names, I just want to see myself for what I am – an imperfect Christian trying her best but ultimately leaning on You to make changes.
• Finally Lord I pray that I feel Your peace all day tomorrow. There is a need for effort on my part but no need for striving as the things I’ll be doing are done for You and in Your power.

You Lord are the one almighty Father and I praise your name and thank you again. My life is so much richer since I came to know you. Blessed be Your name.

Where I live the whole community comes together on a Monday morning to start the week in prayer. Just recently the format of this prayer meeting has changed, it’s become more fluid and creative and that is fabulous. One thing I am particularly enjoying is the check-in. We sit in pairs or a group of three/ four and are given a question to answer. It might be as simple as ‘How are you today?’ or it might be more specific like, ‘where do you need to focus your prayer time this week?’.

We then have to sit there in silence for a couple of minutes before passing the baton (you must have something to hold and pass: a pen or such) around the circle. When it is in your hand you have to say one word in response to the question. Each person in the group takes their turn to say one word and they can only speak when they are holding the baton. No-one else is allowed to respond or to ask questions, it is just a time for us to really listen to each other and for us to own our own feelings. After each person has said one word the baton then goes round again and each person will elaborate on how they are feeling.

I really like these check-ins as you can say as much or as little as you like, perhaps depending on your mood that day or how comfortable you feel with the people in your check-in partnership/ group. What is really important is that you engage with God and search yourself. How am I? If my best friend/ mum (whoever you tell all to) called me now and asked me to be really honest, how would I say I was feeling?

There are far too many answers of ‘fine’ in this country. We are all programmed to just answer a question politely and to perhaps never really engage with how we actually feel but this check-in exercise gives a short opening to be real and not to push any issues under the carpet. There is no need for them to be hidden. They can only be tackled when they are acknowledged and perhaps shared.

At the end of the talking time, there is often enough time to pray for each other and it is a privilege to lay my hand on a friend and ask the Lord to intervene and do what He deems best. Of course, I then take their requests with me into the coming week and can continue to uphold them in prayer, as I know they’ll be doing for me too. It really is very precious.

So why don’t you have your own check-in? You might want to do it with a friend or partner or maybe you are happy just you and the Lord. And to be honest, if you don’t know the Lord then you can go it alone and search yourself for the answers.

Go on, ask yourself –

• How am I really?
• What is making me happy?
• What worries do I have?
• How can I comfort myself?
• Am I being honest with myself?
• What changes need to be made?
• What can I celebrate achieving last week?

Do let me know if I can pray for you, I’d be really happy to.  Mich xx