Designed to be Different - What I Learnt at BritMums Live Today #BML17

That I'm different

and it's OK to be different.

That my fashion sense isn't like anyone else's and that may be because I'm lacking in style

and I'm OK with that.

That I should have had a Diet Coke rather than wine last night

because I'm a Lightweight.

That flat lays will never be me, I just don't have that eye

but I have other talents.

That I don't have to conform

and I love the freedom that allows me.

That no-one else can do me as well as I can
so I need to embrace who I am and celebrate it.

That factors like DA, page views, sponsored post rates and TOTs scores don't define me

because I'm way more than a number.

That letting your blog and social presence change and evolve as you do is good

because being authentically you will always be more important than being liked.

That very few people know who I am nowadays

and I'm happy being under the radar.

Rejection: Even Harder to Watch as a Parent

A little treat for one of my girls. After being the brunt of a nasty game at school this week and her twin being away for the night for a birthday sleepover, it is important for her to know she is cherished too. It's not always easy growing up and I recall how it felt to be the one always left out but the good news is I grew out of it and I pray she will too. How I'd love for her to have one great mate.

A photo posted by Michelle Pannell (@michelletwinmum) on Feb 4, 2017 at 2:23pm PST

It's only been in the last couple of years that I have realised that at the age of 43 I suffer with deep-seated feelings of rejection. The root of these goes right back to primary school and being the last to be picked for gym or being the one left out when it was play time. I can still feel the hurt of being about 10 or 11 and sitting hiding behind a curtain at a birthday party, crying as I just knew no-one really wanted me there.

It's not easy being stuffed full of all these feelings of inadequacy and unlove for more than thirty years but the great news is that now I know about this issue I'm able to deal with it and I'm currently reading Uninvited by Lisa Terkeurst. It is proving really helpful, giving me insight into how I need to deal with those feelings of rejection that have stayed with me for far too long. I've also just started a course at church called Living Free and I had an amazing first week and can't wait to go along again tomorrow.

Thank the Lord that as I grow as a Christian God helps me to see all the issues that I have been burying for far too long and I have the opportunity to deal with them if I wish. This revelation isn't just helping me though it also enables me to see where my children might be having issues and right now one of my girls is feeling rejection in a big way.