It's only been in the last couple of years that I have realised that at the age of 43 I suffer with deep-seated feelings of rejection. The root of these goes right back to primary school and being the last to be picked for gym or being the one left out when it was play time. I can still feel the hurt of being about 10 or 11 and sitting hiding behind a curtain at a birthday party, crying as I just knew no-one really wanted me there.
It's not easy being stuffed full of all these feelings of inadequacy and unlove for more than thirty years but the great news is that now I know about this issue I'm able to deal with it and I'm currently reading Uninvited by Lisa Terkeurst. It is proving really helpful, giving me insight into how I need to deal with those feelings of rejection that have stayed with me for far too long. I've also just started a course at church called Living Free and I had an amazing first week and can't wait to go along again tomorrow.
Thank the Lord that as I grow as a Christian God helps me to see all the issues that I have been burying for far too long and I have the opportunity to deal with them if I wish. This revelation isn't just helping me though it also enables me to see where my children might be having issues and right now one of my girls is feeling rejection in a big way.