Designed to be Different - What I Learnt at BritMums Live Today #BML17

That I'm different

and it's OK to be different.

That my fashion sense isn't like anyone else's and that may be because I'm lacking in style

and I'm OK with that.

That I should have had a Diet Coke rather than wine last night

because I'm a Lightweight.

That flat lays will never be me, I just don't have that eye

but I have other talents.

That I don't have to conform

and I love the freedom that allows me.

That no-one else can do me as well as I can
so I need to embrace who I am and celebrate it.

That factors like DA, page views, sponsored post rates and TOTs scores don't define me

because I'm way more than a number.

That letting your blog and social presence change and evolve as you do is good

because being authentically you will always be more important than being liked.

That very few people know who I am nowadays

and I'm happy being under the radar.

Blogging: Not Always Easy but it can Change Your Life!

In Ethiopia with BritMums Jen Howze, supermodel Maya Haile and Cherry Friedmeyer, Director of Women at Risk

Having been blogging since 2008 it is now easy to see that the same things come up time and time again. Every 18 months or so you get a few bitchy people who are jealous of the opportunities that other bloggers have been offered and they start to stir up ill feeling. You see posts, tweets and general ill feeling towards a few, often the very successful few and sometimes the most vulnerable. It is so depressing.

The accusations of cliques (or more recently tribes) begin to flow and many bloggers start to question why they are doing it. 'Who needs this kind of controversy and animosity?', 'I only started my blog as a memory trove for my family' and 'thats it, I'm out of here' are the kind of statements you see shared. Sadly I've seen dozens of really decent bloggers stop writing and sharing because others have targeted them.

Yet here I am eight years on and the nasty trolls didn't manage to scare me away. I've had two particularly bad blogging times when I easily could have thrown the towel in, but no, I'm still here. I'm not sure what has made me so resilient, maybe it is my faith or maybe it is because I believe I am doing important work.

I'm a Good Enough Blogger, Are You?

I'll just go ahead and answer that question straight away, no point in leaving you hanging.

Are you a good enough blogger? Of course you are. We all are.

Who is it up to anyway? Who gets to decide what is OK and what is not with YOUR blog? This is your space after all, only you can say. You are the judge and in this case you are the jury and YOU get the final say.

Now I know some of you reading this might be arguing with me in your head or even shouting at your screen. "No Michelle, it is not all about me. There are so many people judging me - my readers, my family, other bloggers - the top bloggers even (*Yawn*), PR's, Companies etc etc. I have to perform, I have to do well, I have to work on my blog 24 hours a day, I must never take a day off, I have to grind myself into the ground, I have to be active on every social media networks, even those ones no-one has even heard of yet. I want to be a success. So. I. Must. Work. Super. Hard!

Well I think you are wrong, you don't need to satisfy anyone else in particular to be good enough. Let me explain.

#BritMumsLive - a whole new perspective

I've been to quite a few blogger conferences now and never are they the same. Even when they are in the same venue, there is still always something new to learn but I got a whole new perspective this time by moderating a room. For the uninitiated, this means I stayed in one room for the whole conference and introduced the speakers and kept the Q&A on time. I can honestly say I really enjoyed it and it meant that I got to listen in to sessions I might never have gone to if I had just been looking at the program.

So here's a thought for you, next time you go to a conference and the agenda looks too big and overwhelming and you find yourself wondering what on earth you might do I'd say find a room where there is a few sessions you like the look of and go and sit in there. 

There are many plus points for this - 

• you can retain the best seat in the room for the whole day
• all the bloggers you fancy chatting with will come to you (as you can tweet out where you are)
• you'll remain calm and sweat free as you don't have to run from the second floor to lower ground in under 5 minutes!
• you'll learn things you never even realised you needed to know and you never know they might just have some bloggy benefits to come out of them
• you can make friends with the moderator

I had a great time at the conference, BritMums Live has always been my favourite but I do wonder if it had got just a bit too big this year, 700 people all together is pretty overwhelming, even for an old timer like me.

What I learnt

Even though I was working rather than attending as a delegate I still learnt some new things and now have a list of jobs that I must get on with over the next couple of months.

1. Don't just accept the offers that come through to me. When offered an idea for a sponsored post pitch back to them with something that interests me and my readers more but still fits their need. Jen at Mum in the Madhouse
2. When working with brands, change your perspective, it is not about you, it is about the brand. We have all got so hung up on 'what is in it for me?' and actually lots of good things come out of relationships where I am looking to satisfy them and go the extra mile (whilst of course still making it worth my while). Kirsty at the Family Adventure Project
3. Gleam is a newer and easier version of Rafflecopter, I'm keen to give it a try. Di at SuperLucky
4. When I write a post that is of interest to other well connected people, contact them and ask them to RT my post or share it in their circles. SEO Jo Blogs
5. G+ has already overtaken twitter, I need to use it more wisely. Create better circles and take some time to move people into the right ones, have two way follows with people, Google likes that. 510 pixles is the magic number for getting large G+ images in the feed. James Dearsley
6. I must sort out my Google authorship, I have tried to do it a number times and it does not work for me but apparently there is a great help page in G+
7. I need to learn more about YouTube. There is a YouTube playbook with all sorts of advice for me to read and I learnt how to annotate my videos so I can link to my blog from within them! Greg Brand
8. There is never enough time, you see a ton of people that you want to chat to and they are gone in minutes!
9. That a quiet Friday night is a sensible option when you need to be up early on the Saturday.  I'm showing my age but three glasses of wine and an Indian were plenty for me and Clare.
   

10. That the Montcalm at the Brewery is a very lovely hotel and I want to stay there again! Really good breakfast too!

All in all I really enjoyed my weekend and I hope you had a fab time too.  Tell me, what was your favourite session, so I can go and seek out some notes and maybe the find the presentation if I'm lucky!  Mich x

Not long now.... #BritMumsLive

About ten days ago I let my bloggy mates know that I was all up to date with my blogging commitments and I'd be having the rest of June off. I fancied just being my own boss for a couple of weeks and not being a slave to my blog and PC.  I've done quite well, I've not spent much time online at all, my social media channels have been pretty quiet and I've been enjoying my kids and the house has not looked so good in a long while but I just can't keep quiet.

BritMums Live is almost here and it is my favourite blogging conference of the year. I remember back to early 2010 when it was CyberMummy and I was not confident enough to buy a ticket but then I sat there in June and watched the twitter stream and vowed I would go the next year and I've been each year since. In 2011 I angst over what to wear and worried myself silly and then had the best time and in 2012 and 2013 I was a speaker and was also a BiBs finalist and then this year I asked if I could work the conference. So I'll be moderating room 3 and you can come and see me if you fancy learning more about running fabulous and legal giveaways, the power of SEO or making the most of Google +, they are all happening in my little room.

I really can't wait and my choice of sessions has been made very easy for me this time, I'll just see everything that is in room 3! So that is one less thing to think about, which is good as I've just realised I have nothing suitable to wear. As I'm a room moderator I feel I need to look smart and sadly my wardrobe swings from casual daywear to formal workwear, I don't seem to have anything in the middle nowadays (well, not that fits anyway!). So tomorrow I need to find at least one nice outfit so I can feel presentable. Oh well, at least I know this conference is a friendly one and whatever I wear no-one but me will care, that takes the pressure off somewhat.

Also tomorrow I'm going to visit my sponsor. Yes sponsor, how unexpected is that?  I haven't had one since 2011 as I'm super fussy about who I will represent, I have to be totally in tune with their brand and product. But when Boots Opticians got in contact with me and asked if I wanted to be an ambassador for them this year at BritMums Live I was very happy to say yes straight away as Miss E has her eyes tested at our local Boots Opticians a few months back and we got her glasses from there and the service was just top-notch. I know this as JJ a month or so later went to an independent optician that is closer to our home and I had a free sight test at Specsavers in May and neither of them lived up to our experience at Boots Opticians. So tomorrow I'll have my eyes tested again and then I'll write up a full review.

You can visit Boots Opticians whilst you are at BritMums Live on stand 22 and they will have a super competition running, which you can find out more about at the conference.

I look forward to seeing you there...  are you as excited as I am?

and in case you are not sure - this is me....

Disclosure: Boots Opticians are paying for my travel, hotel room, an eye check and new glasses in exchange for me acting as an Ambassador for them at BritMums Live and honestly reviewing their optical service.

Christian mummy blogger would like to meet...

...other Christian mummy bloggers.

In fact not just mummy bloggers but any female bloggers who are dedicated Christians. Particularly if you are based in the UK or are an expat. I know there is a whole community of Christian mommy bloggers in the US but I am sure there are more of us here than just the handful I know about. I want to be inspired by you, encouraged by you and yes, even challenged by you.

I have a wonderful community of blogging friends around me at the moment and I am sincerely grateful for all the love and time they offer to me and each other but I have an unfulfilled need and that is to talk blogging and digital media with other women who share my faith.

We are called to be in this world and not of it and I want to have a strong group of women around me who can challenge me when I get too caught up in worldly nonsense. Women who are willing to use God's word to encourage, strengthen and rebuke me. And I want to do the same for them, let's be grateful together and rejoice in His goodness and ask the really tough questions and work through them together.

I have a vision for a group of strong Christian women coming together in a safe and private space where we can spend time in a virtual pastoral group and help each other. I was thinking of setting up a Facebook group.

Are there any Mary's out there who might like to chat to this Martha and help her develop more of the dedication and peace they know? Or I'd love to know a few more Martha's too because you can always rely on them to get things done.

So tell me, are you up for joining me in a private Facebook group where we can talk blogging and faith and get to know each other more and challenge each other to live differently and with purpose?

Leave me a comment or send me an email if you want and then friend me on Facebook, so I can invite you to join.

I really hope this works, I feel such a need for challenging Christian conversation with like minded ladies and whether you want to join the group or not if you are a Christian women who openly expresses her faith on her blog I'd love to read it and I know others would too, so please put a link in the linky below.

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Reasons to be Cheerful - time for a change?

How can you stay down for long, when you live here?
This is the view from my front door a couple of nights ago.

Hello all,

How are things going with you? I'm in a bit of a flux at the moment, I don't know whether I am coming or going much of the time. The worlds most organised person seems to have lost some of her skills. I keep having moments of feeling sad, unsettled and turbulent. If you saw my post from yesterday you'll know that I'm in a state of discontent.

Nothing is wrong really, just the realities of living in a new place and having to make new friends, establish where my purpose is right now and come to terms with not being in paid work any more. Lots has changed in the last three months and I think I have stayed strong whilst I made sure the kids and my husband got settled and now I've remembered I've got to take care of myself too.

My instant response is that I need to take the pressure off and have a break from blogging, I know this is always a good thing for me, I've done it many times before.  I'm not imposing any rules on myself, I'm just going to go with the flow and blog if I want to but free myself to not have to be pressured to post for anything. Therefore I won't be running Reasons to be Cheerful for the foreseeable future. If any of you reading this want to host it then leave me a comment below and we can chat but I'm wondering if it is just time for a change. Maybe no more #R2BC.

So this is supposed to be Reasons to be Cheerful and I don't want it just to be me moaning, so my main reason to be grateful this week is the supportive blogging community.  I shared with some blogging friends a couple of days ago how I was feeling and I had such an amazing and overwhelming response. People said really encouraging things and I felt so built-up and good about myself and my blog. Thank you ladies for being awesome, you know who you are.

Then talking of blogging mates, I am also super grateful that I get to see Seasider Clare this weekend for Mumsnet Blogfest. We plan to have a fab time with loads of bloggy friends and some catch up time alone too, it is too long since we last got together in June.

You never know Blogfest might even recapture my love for blogging and I might feel enthused to get straight back on the horse - we will see.....

Wishing you all a fabulous week. Do link up with me for a last time with your Reasons to be Cheerful and I'll be over to visit you (probably after the weekend).

Bless you, Mich x

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I sang, danced, spoke, cried and laughed at BritMums Live

Ready to start the day on Saturday

Saturday I returned from BritMums Live and boy what a whirlwind weekend it has been. I had such a fun time and loved being a BritMums butterfly, it was a real privilege to get to talk to a million and one different bloggers.  OK, that is an a bit of an exaggeration but I honestly think I managed to say hi to at least 300 people.

What did I think of the conference? Brilliant, amazing, great fun, super, emotional, touching, a privilege - there are so many words I could use to describe my time out this weekend. I hardly went to a session at all and I think that is what comes of having been to a few conferences and having blogged for quite a number of years now. This weekend was all about the people - the meals with friends, the coffee shared, the hugs (yes even the hugs and I'm so not a hugger), the frivolous conversations with people I have chatted online to for ages but never yet met in real life and meeting a whole bunch of newer bloggers for the first time. BritMums Live is brilliant, I do love it and I will be coming again next year and yes I'll be a butterfly again if they'll have me.

Finding my style...
One thing I really enjoyed this conference that I've not experienced before was a style consultation with TK Maxx. This is not the normal type of thing I would sign up for, my assumption would be that there is not that much they can do for me as I'm pretty large and that really I'm doing OK myself anyway.  I was sent to take a seat and this uber glamorous red-head greeted me with a big smile. She asked me what I was there for, what did I want to know?  Ohh, no idea I told her, I had just heard that the sessions were fab and I got brave for five minutes. I started to feel a tad nervous and gabbling about how I never did things like this as I'm fat and fat people don't have stylists.

My stunning TK Maxx stylist

I need not have worried, she was really lovely and made me feel so at ease. There wasn't any outfits for me to try on (being a large lady) and to be honest I was glad of that as it was too hot but we did go in the dressing room together and she asked if she could adjust my bra to show me the difference good underwear can make.  Well let it be known that when you hoick my bra up I look far slimmer. I always thought I did OK in terms of bra fit but it turns out I should probably go down a back size and go up two cup sizes. What a difference this made to me, my torso lengthened visibly and for the first time in years my boobs looked bigger than my belly - yay!

Never before have I seen any value in personal styling but I would definitely give it a go for real now.  I'm thinking the MAD blog awards in September will be a great time to see what someone can do for me, although of course you perhaps need to be a bit cautious with a free personal shopper/ stylist who works for a store as they have an obligation to get sales and I wonder if they might tell me I looked fabulous when really it was just OK.

It was good to hear that I am doing some things right in the style and fashion stakes. Apparently wearing patterns on my torso is a good move as this breaks up my ahem 'problem area' and then instead of the light cardi I had on Saturday I should go for dark colours to slim me down but pinning my butterfly badge just under my chest to create a soft waterfall look at the front of the cardi was a smart move.

The stylist (I really should have asked her name!) asked me what bodyshape I felt I was and I said presumably an apple as all my weight retains around the middle, I have at least 4 or 5 spare tyres instead of the classic one.  She got me to stand up and do a spin and informed me I was in fact an hourglass but I was just retaining some excess tummy weight. Ohh make my day, how fabulous to hear that if I lose some weight I would go all Jesscia Rabbit.

She told me layered tops, ones with detailing at the tummy area and those with fabrics that lift away from my tummy are the right way forward. I can even wear little belts to help accentuate my waist.  I told her I lost my waist many years ago and no she tells me I'm wrong, if my boobs are wear they should be I in fact have a good waist it is just higher than I might have thought. Apparently I'm balanced in terms of my shoulders to my hips but I could do with a narrower leg on my jeans. She confirmed that I'm right to go with high-waisted jeans so I don't get cut in the middle.

I was interested to hear that if I am wearing light colours on my top half I should go bold with my lipstick to give a focal point but if I am wearing bold and dark colours on top then no lipstick is necessary, it is all about my eyes. Of course the suggestion came up that I should wears heels sometimes, particularly wedges and do I really like wedges but the comfort factor is so much more with flats I find.

All this advice managed to fit into about ten minutes and I was a happy lady. I have a £100 Debenhams voucher at the moment and I'll be scheduling myself a bra fitting in the near future.  I have always thought that £25 was a lot of money for a bra but after this advice I imagine I might be spending a whole lot more than that!

With the beautiful Butterflies (image credit - A Residence)

Speaking with confidence
I sat on a panel on Saturday afternoon to talk about what it is like to work with charities, we only attracted a small intimate audience and this was great as it meant we could really chat to people and answer their questions. Check out my top tips post if you would like to work with charities and you can see what happened on my blogger journeys to Ethiopia and Belarus last year for a flavour of how things can work with blogger/ charity partnerships.

The highlight of the event...
Had to be the blogger keynote speakers and the tribute to Kerry (Our own Multiple Mummy). It was an immense privilege to end the conference singing my heart out to 'Kerry you are a firework' and remembering her beauty and contribution to parent blogging. It was also special to honour the other MM Matilda Mae and I was so proud to watch Jennie conduct herself with such elegance cross the whole weekend. Kylie from Not even a bag of sugar also excelled herself reading her post 'Jimmy Saville is Dead'. Then as a tonic to the sadness it was great to laugh along with some fabulous bloggers with more light hearted posts.

Watch out for me at BritMums Live 2014 I hope to be arriving a much more clothes confident Mich than I did this year.......  see you then.

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Blogging for Good session at BritMums Live

This coming Saturday I'll be really pleased to join a group of fabulous women to sit on a panel at the BritMums Live conference.

Our session is titled 'Blogging for Good: how to blog better working with charities'.  From my understanding, our session will be informative but very open and friendly, do please come with any burning questions you have.  If you are dying to start working with a specific charity then ask us how we got started, if you want to be able to rally others then we can give you some insight on that, if you would like help making the decision about which charity to work with then we can let you know how we went through that thought process too. No question is too big or too small - we will aim to tackle them all, as long as they are charity/ cause related.

There is a good mix of panelists, we all come from different experience and walks of life -

First off, you have me and if you are a reader here, you will know I'm a pretty average Mum and I feel compelled to do my bit and fight for a better world because of my Christian faith and fundamental belief that we all should be equal.

Then you have Ruth from Dorky Mum and she is a lady I have a whole lot of respect for. She knows her mind and knows what she stands for and many a time she has helped me question my own values and thought processes to come to well-informed decisions about working with charities and who to support. Ruth started out as a student activist and then her early employment was as a full-time environmental campaigner and she volunteers for a whole host of charities and good causes.

Next is Jennifer James of Mom Bloggers Club and Mom Bloggers for Social Good and I'm very excited to get to meet Jennifer.  I'm sure I'll go all shy and forget how to speak. She is one of those awesome women that are making a difference every day and pulling together thousands of other Moms and Mums to stand together and use their unified voice to fight for social good. She is a big hit in the US blogging scene, it will be good to hear what they are doing differently over the pond.

Last up is Rosie Childs, Digital Media Manager at Save the Children and I have to say of all the charities I have worked with STC know exactly how to engage and work with bloggers.  They are the first charity who set me on fire and I was proud to help promote the #Healthworkers campaign with a very successful meme that @helloitsgemma and I hosted.

I won't give away any spoilers, if you want to know what we will talk about then you need to come along to the conference on Saturday at 3pm to BritMums 1 and if you can't be there I'll share the session afterwards on this blog.

I'll leave you with a hang-out I recently did with BritMums where they asked me some questions about what it is like to travel as a blogger for a charity and cause.

I hope to see you at BritMums Live at the weekend, I'm also one of the butterflies  so you will find me slitting all over the place and there should be a big smile plastered on my face!

Mich x

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If you like what you have read and want to stay up-to-date then subscribe by email for free and receive blog posts directly to your in-box - just click the link Subscribe to Mummy From The Heart... by Email or perhaps you like to keep all your blog reading in one place, if that is the case you can follow me on BlogLovin too!

Suzanne tells us there is Beauty in Community

Today we welcome Suzanne to the blog and in a short time she has become one of my favourite bloggers, writing some excellent posts which really resonate with me. Probably my favourite so far is one titled Weeding. I'll let her give you a little lowdown on herself -

My name is Suzanne and I blog at 3 Children and It .  As the title suggests, I have 3 children and 1 ‘It’ (the dog, not the husband!).  I started my blog approximately 9 months ago, mainly to satisfy my desire to write but also to document our family life and hopefully impart some of my parental “wisdom” gained over the past 12 years….judge for yourself whether I achieve that or not!

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As any intelligent human being knows, it takes 9 months (give or take a few days!) for a baby to develop in the womb.  Interestingly, I have recently discovered that it takes approximately the same length of time to nurture and develop another kind of baby – 9 months ago I welcomed my blog into the world and what a 9 months it’s been!  I’ve had sleepless nights, teething troubles and regularly questioned my significance before this baby was born.  But as with any new baby, I wouldn’t change it for the world!

Since finally plucking up the courage to embark on the world of blogging (I think I had written at least 100 mental posts before convincing myself to have a go!), I have learnt so much.  One of the things I had never considered or even prepared myself for, was the amazing community that blogging creates.  Being a sociable person and one who thrives on communication with others 24/7, this was a pleasant surprise and one which I have embraced.

Maybe I am blinkered, but I can honestly say that I have not come across any hostility.  There is no evident rivalry amongst bloggers (perhaps I’m too ‘green’ to have noticed yet!) and anyone I have come into contact with has been nothing but helpful, welcoming and full of encouragement.  Even the rather daunting ‘big’ bloggers, the ones who seem to have 7 gazillion followers and 50,000 page views per day, have been so lovely and not at all worthy of the ‘scary’ label that I had given them – Mich being one of them!

Not long after I started blogging, tragedy struck the parent blogging community when a very popular and well-loved blogger, suffered a sudden and massive brain haemorrhage.  I watched from the side lines as the understandably stunned community came into its own - emotional and practical support were offered to her family and to one another, twitter prayer vigils were organised (which trended incidentally) and it was just beautiful to watch the virtual community dispel the myth it seems to have created.  This was not born out of ‘false friendships’, it was an instinctive reaction by people who cared.

I was equally amazed when many from that very same community rallied around another blogger who had sadly been forced into bringing up her family in a squalid council property.  Again, bloggers not only offered emotional support but practical help too, succeeding in transforming her run-down council property into something habitable and ultimately a home - truly inspiring.  

Who wouldn’t want to be a part of this?

If you’re new to blogging and now questioning how on earth you tap into this amazing community of bloggers, here are my top tips:

1.       Linkies (or Bloghops).  You will find many of these taking place during the week.  They are basically an opportunity to link up your post and take part in a ready-made community.  Some of the more prominent linkies are: Silent Sunday (Mocha Beanie Mummy), Saturday is Caption Day (Mammasaurus), R2BC (run by our very own Mich!), The Gallery (Sticky Fingers), Project 365 (The Boy and Me).  There seems to be a linky out there to meet everyone’s interest - don’t be shy, have a go!

2.       Commenting.  I can’t stress highly enough the need to visit and comment on other blogs. Look for those that inspire or interest you, people who you have things in common with.  Quickly they will become regular visitors to your blog and your very own little community will be born.  If someone leaves a comment at the bottom of your post, the blogging etiquette appears to be: comment under it and then visit their blog in return (it took a while for me to realise this!)

3.       Twitter. If you have a blog, you must join Twitter! I’m not too ‘up’ on all the other social networking sites but this one should be a priority. Share your posts, engage with other bloggers and retweet their posts.  The support is phenomenal - I’ve had my child’s homework questions answered, parenting advice given and tea and sympathy offered (virtually of course!)

4.       Forums. There are many different forums and networks designed especially for bloggers.  The best (and most welcoming!) ones I have found are Britmums, Netmums and Love All Blogs (there’s even a designated area on this website for newbies).  Sign up, introduce yourself and start linking up your blog posts.  You will soon find some friendly voices to interact with as well as gaining new readers.

5.       Blogroll. Set up an area on your own blog which features blogs that you enjoy reading.  Make these a priority to visit every time a new post appears. You will quickly find that the support is reciprocated and a small network of trusted bloggers will begin to develop.

6.       Blogging events.  There are many blogging events which take place throughout the year and I get the impression that they aren’t just about learning!  This year I am plucking up the courage to attend ‘Britmums Live!’ taking place in London in June.  If you asked me a year ago if I would even consider attending a conference not knowing a soul, you can imagine the answer - I just hope these bloggers live up to my expectations!

In a nutshell - don’t be a stranger.  Introduce yourself, start commenting and don’t be put off by seemingly ‘more popular’, ‘more professional’ and ‘more experienced’ bloggers. Everyone was a newbie once and most people will remember that.   Come and visit my blog, I’m always up for new ‘friends’ and will certainly make a return visit to yours J

Go on, visit Suzanne, she is a diamond you won't regret it!

Thank you Suzanne, tomorrow we have another great post for you as part of new bloggers fortnight. On a different slant new blogger Leoarna shares with us how blogging is good for your mental health.

The Beesley Buzz - Finding support where you least expect it

I have a very new blogger posting here today, Rebecca has been part of our community for about 4 months now and gives us a very open and heartfelt account of why blogging has become really important to her. First a little about Rebecca and her family -

Rebecca blogs at The Beesley Buzz with husband Richard and her three children. The Beesley Buzz is very much a family effort and you’ll see all the family getting involved. J, her eldest, is great at maths, loves reading and is the worlds’ biggest Moshi Monsters fan; he also happens to be on the Autistic Spectrum. D, her younger son aged 6, is The Brilliant Chef  and loves to cook. Both boys are home schooled. Last but not least is T, 9 months old, who adores her two brothers.

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In my excitement at recently discovering the wonderful concept that is ‘New Bloggers Fortnight’ (and wishing I had come across it before we started blogging), I enthusiastically agreed to write a post for this year’s New Bloggers Fortnight and then started reading through all those great posts from the previous years.

Then it dawned on me… what had I done?!? All these bloggers actually knew what they were talking about… and I really don’t. So I don’t promise any real wisdom but just our experiences of how blogging has opened up a world of support and understanding that is sadly lacking in other areas of life.

When we first started blogging 4 months ago, I hadn’t realised just how many other bloggers were out there who had experienced similar situations to us having a child on the Autistic spectrum. But the more I read, the more I came across situations that seemed to mirror experiences that we had – some of the difficulties our son experienced at school, the reactions of others when he has a meltdown in public, how siblings in the family are affected, some of the tensions in friendships and relationships when there is a lack of understanding about Autism.

So many times, I thought I could have been reading about my own life. How could these people so accurately understand what we’d been going through, the emotions we’d felt, the feelings and frustrations we had?

The sense of relief… So often when your child is different… when they don’t fit in at school, when they struggle with the little things that other kids just fly through, you are left wondering what is ‘normal’ for a child like mine.

Sometimes in real life, you are left feeling that your child is the only child who is capable of having a meltdown so huge that it seems that the whole world has stopped to stare and you just want the ground to open up and swallow you, just to stop yourself feeling so judged, so inadequate as a parent, so helpless.

And then I tuck the kids into bed, turn on the computer and I realise I am not alone. Sometimes I might blog about the bad days myself (although often I find I don’t because as therapeutic as I know it would be to get it out of my system on those days, I don’t have an ounce of emotional energy left to give any more output). More often I read. I see what everyone else’s day has been like and I feel comforted, I feel supported, I realise that I am not alone in feeling like this.

The times I have been able to type a few words whether in a blog post or on Facebook, I have been so encouraged by the words of kindness and understanding shown by other bloggers. Some understand because they are going through similar situations, others understand because they have a good awareness of the issues from the blogs that they read – but the important thing is they understand, they care, and they don’t judge me.

And I could go on. I could tell you about how impossible I find it to get to any support groups locally because those held during the day would mean I would have to drag along three children who really wouldn’t want to be there, and those held in the evening just feel impossible to get along to when to have spent the day just managing to get through to bedtime and the last thing you can face is getting yourself out the house at the end of a long day.

I could tell you about the ‘friends’ that suddenly disappeared pretty much as soon as my son received his diagnosis (we do also have some truly wonderful friends who we do stay in touch with and I am so grateful to them for loving and accepting J for who he is regardless of his ASD).

I could tell you about how those we should be able to trust the most in real life, those in responsible positions of authority in the education system, those we had initially assumed would be there to help our son fulfil his potential and not be limited by his condition, let him down so badly and didn’t seem to have any knowledge of how to effectively deal with children with ASD or special needs. And when we wanted to shout out from the rooftops about the positives, those little achievements (that are actually big achievements for J) – a calm day, being focused, coping with his school work – it just seems meaningless to those who don’t really understand.

Yet so many bloggers do ‘get it’. They understand. They celebrate the good days with us and stand alongside us on the not-so-good days.

The dictionary definition of a ‘Community’ is “a group or society helping each other” and our experience of the blogging community has been just that. And I want to thank the blogging community for the true sense of community I have found here – whether you realise it or not, so many of you have helped me at the times I have needed it most – thank you.

And thank you Rebecca, I expect every one of us reading this can relate to how much the community has helped us at one time or another. Great to have you posting here!

Welcome to New Blogger Fortnight 2013

Hello, welcome and thanks for joining us. Over the next two weeks I'll have some great posts for you, all packed with real-life experience and advice from a group of new bloggers who have generously come forward to share their experiences with you in the hope that it will help you grow and enjoy your blogging journey.

NBF nearly did not happen this year, I have been experiencing a bit of blogging overload in recent months. With blogger journeys to Ethiopia in October and Belarus in December I felt I was heading for the scrapheap and then when I saw a whole new blog was being dedicated to posts for new bloggers I lost my mojo and thought why bother?

I had already engaged a couple of fairly new bloggers to write a post for me and I went back to them to break the news and both were sad that I might not host. One of them nearly had me in tears though, she talked about how last year she had been a brand new blogger and had been a part of NBF as a recipient and got so much out of it. She mentioned that I had started the chat about NBT in advance on the BritMums newbie forum and that she was still in contact now with those bloggers she started to chat to last January as part of NBT. She told me the warmth and personality of my blog was what made NBT fortnight and that a new blog would not have that same community.

Reading just the few lines she wrote made me know in an instant that this would go ahead.  Decision made - I'd take a break for January to recharge my batteries and then dive right back in and enjoy NBF 2013.  So here I am and I'l kick this two weeks off with a post from me -

I almost lost me.....

Blogging, in my experience is like white water rafting, like travelling alone down these scary rapids that are twisting and turning so fast that you have no idea what to do or how to steer. How do I make sure I stay on the right path and don't plunge over the waterfall into the abyss, never to be seen again?  Good question Mich.

I'm not the type to seek thrills - bungee jumping and such holds no appeal to me, I prefer the safer and more predictable things in life and I think if I had realised how turbulent and all-consuming blogging could be I might never have taken that plunge.

I've been writing my blog for about five years now and there are times when I love it and adore the community and others when I could just run for the hills and hide, never to write a post again. In January I have been enjoying some down time and not blogging much, I find I have to take some rest every few months for fear of burning out or losing my grasp on reality.

After near five years I have learnt who I am and how I want to come across on my blog. It is important for me to be authentic and to stay true to my Christian beliefs. Yes the worldly part of me escapes at times and wants to move up the blogging charts, win an award (or two) and go to the best events but then the grounded Mich kicks in and reminds me that really I don't actually want all the things that come associated with being a popular and well-ranked blogger and that the green-eyed monster is very ugly indeed.

I do realise that I have come very close to 'losing me' in my blogging journey, it is so easy to get caught up in things and to go with what feels like the flow for so many people. Some bloggers are more vocal and dynamic than others and you find a clan start to emulate them and to desire all the things they desire. Writing styles start to mesh into one, there seems to only be a few key blogging voices and everyone is tackling the same subjects or that is how it feels when you are in the middle of it. If you don't tweet ten times a day, do a Google + update and check in on 14 forums then you are failing as a blogger. What a crock!

Nowadays I feel like a bit of a Granny when I watch the newer bloggers arrive on the scene, they have their own great style and way of blogging and then they find the community and with that comes some great things - friendship, support and opportunities  Then also the not so great - as so many start to do what I did and question themselves and their blogs and their own uniqueness starts to fade. Time and time again I hear - I need to go self-hosted, I must get my own vanity URL, my blog needs a make-over, should I be on Pinterest and Google +, I need to start a linky? and on and on it goes.  I want to shout at them and tell them to stop and cherish who they are, if they are not careful they will lose their soul on this journey to be the most flashy and well-read blogger.  I am sure very few of us start out on our blogging journey to be stars of the parenting blogging world and really, why would we ever dream that is desirable?

Blog because it makes you happy, blog because you find support, blog as therapy and even blog to get reviews if that is what floats your boat but be honest with yourself and keep focused on why you started out because it is so easy to get lost.

Now you might want to get lost, I don't know.  You may find that it is beneficial for you, it certainly has been for me. For years the strapline on my blog has been 'Join me on my imperfect Christian journey' and that is exactly how I see this life, as a journey. This is where I am being moulded and learning to be the best person I can be. Blogging and even getting lost along the way has helped me with that, I see that now.

As long as you can keep perspective and balance, blogging can be the most rewarding of activities. You will learn who your real friends are and to not bother with the ones who sap your energy and make you feel sad.
If I was to give every new blogger one piece of advice it would be to stay true to you and what you want for your blog. Do not get swept along with the crowd, stand out! Question yourself each time you go to make a change - am I doing this for me? Does this make me happy? Is this detrimental to anyone else? Is this a balanced thing to be doing? You'll know the right answers, you just have to have the courage to be individual and to stick by what you think.

You'll be a much better blogger for it. Good luck, Mich x

Come back tomorrow for a great post from Rachel (also known as Far from home mama), who blogs at Three years and then home. She will be talking about keeping a good blog/ life balance - so important!

I'll be praying for #Healing4Kerry at 10pm tonight (& every other day too)

Today I am giving over my blog to a lovely friend. A blogger who is warm and giving and well respected within our community.  Sadly the beautiful Kerry of Multiple Mummy is very ill at the moment and has been for some time now.

Kerry and I first developed a bond back in early 2011 when she was a brand new blogger and still on a blogspot address. We started to talk as she is a Mummy of twins and not just that, but she has an older child too, so her family are younger than mine but replicate mine in many ways. I guest posted for Kerry back in July 2011 and I must say I have been very remiss in having her back here, once she is well we will rectify that (if she wants to of course).

I finally met Kerry at CyberMummy in June 2011 and then again at a blogger event for Perform in November 2011. We have also seen each other a few times this year at events but she is one of those people that you do not have to see in real life to have a good old chat and a bit of fun with.

In short Kerry rocks!  Here is my prayer for Kerry today and every day -




You might have seen me post the other day that lovely Liska has put a call to action out to the parenting blogging community, so tonight at 10pm we will all join together to pray, meditate, send positive thoughts and such to demand #Healing4Kerry.

Kerry, Nick and your three beautiful children - we salute you!

With love, Mich xx

 

Photo montage shamelessly nicked from Liska.  Top photo shows Super Amazing Mum, Liska and Kerry.  The other photos are all Kerry before she had her gorgeous hair crop that we now know and love.

When bloggers come together awesome things happen!

Those of us who are bloggers know the power we have as a collective.

Yes sometimes there are tiffs in our respective communities but when one of us puts out a call to action and raises awareness of a plight that needs us to all pull together, then we do. And as I said before awesome things happen. We see big companies giving refunds for their wrong doings, we see posts going live by the dozen as the word spread, we see donations rolling in for charities, we see virtual hugs and tears and we see jobs being created.

Then those of us who are Christians know the power of prayer.

Especially as a collective, the Bible tells us that when two or more people come together in the name of Jesus then He is among them. I believe He works miracles and right now we could do with a miracle please Lord.  One of healing for our dear friend Kerry.

You may have read about Kerry, back in July she had a brain hemorrhage due to an ruptured aneurysm and unfortunately she has suffered some setbacks in her recovery and rehabilitation.  Her husband has been amazing looking after their three beloved children.

Liska from New Mum Online has called for bloggers to give up their blog next Saturday and to post for Kerry. Then at 10pm on that evening (24th November) she has asked that we come together as a collective and use our power.  For me it will be about prayer and calling on the Lord, for you it might be positive thoughts, meditation or something else entirely.

If you use twitter, lets make some noise and use the hashtag #Healing4Kerry

Kerry is one awesome woman that I am proud to call my friend. I'll post about her more specifically next Saturday when I give my blog over to her.

For now I'll keep on praying for total healing for Kerry and peace and comfort for her family.

Will you join Liska and I next Saturday?