Our Holiday, Day 1: Through My Kids Eyes....

Random snippets of conversation from day 1 of our holiday to Dorset –

20 minutes after setting off for our 3 hour drive
Miss M (3) My having a lovely holiday Mummy
JJ (6) Are we nearly there yet?
Miss E (3) A big grin and nothing to be said. Just happily holding her dolly and dolly accessories.

Notice the difference here? 3 years and content with whatever is happening, the adventure is starting and Miss M and Miss are happy. 6 going on 7 years and already bored of the journey and wanting something else despite the DS, a book, some activity books and a portable DVD player. Oh boy this could be a long few hours.

9am, 9.30am, 9.50am, 10.10am etc etc (get the picture?)
JJ - Can I have my lunch? Is it lunchtime yet? What is for lunch? It must be time to eat now?
Miss M – My hungry too Mummy, neeeed to eat, we have a picnic? can I have cheese?
Miss E – A big grin and nothing to be said again. Still holding her dolly and toys.

Right, we have agreed on noon for lunch, only another few hours to go then….

Yes, we have spotted a good park; the kids can stretch their legs.
JJ- This bit is for babies, I want to go over there. Can we have our lunch yet? I don’t want that ice cream, I want a mint one?
Miss E – I play in the park Mummy. Go on the swings?
Miss M - Hooray, let’s play!

Arrival at the house we have hired for the week
Miss M – oh wow, it is great. Look at our holiday home, the best house ever.
JJ - I have got a desk in my room, it is great. Much better than our house. I want to live here forever.
Miss E – ohh my bed, big bed (and lots of jumping)

Having our dinner at Harvester
JJ – Oh I want Toby not Harvester. Why do we have to go here? big sulk.
Miss M – Chippies yes! We have 2 dinners, us so lucky (salad and then the dinner).
Miss E – More pasta please. Big cheeky smile.

Walking down towards the beach and seeing all the seafront amusements
Miss M – Oh wow and charge off, I want a go. My go on this one? And this one and this one… We go swimming now?
Miss E - Yeah, running after her twin. My no go on there!
JJ – Can we go on the beach? Can be go on that big long platform (pier)? Can we go in the machines? Can I have an ice cream? Can I? Can I? Can I?

It has been a nice day. The drive down was uneventful; we enjoyed a nice play and pic-nic in the park. The house is great; we blew bubbles and played fuzzy-felt while watching Sharks Tale. Then out for some yummy food and a barefoot walk along the sand collecting some shells and having good laugh. We finished the night with a big ice cream and some silly songs in the park. Fun was had by all.

JJ has received his first day warning, that ungrateful children receive nothing and will end up spending a lot of time in their bedroom. We often find that the first day of the holiday he is so excited that he misbehaves and really acts as if the world revolves around him but he is learning slowly.

Tomorrow will be church and then not sure what the afternoon holds…. But whatever it is I expect it will reflect Miss M’s words when I chose her outfit for tomorrow – perfect Mummy!

An Attitude of Gratitude, and Grace in Small Things...

How many times a day do we all say thank you? hundreds probably, sometimes it is heartfelt and we do not have enough words to be able to describe just how happy and full of grace we feel and sometimes we do not even want to say it but it is the 'done' thing. Never the less out it pops, or it should anyway. If you are one of my kids you probably need a gentle prod, the odd reminder to say thanks every time it is due but that is part of my job description, number 41 - Mummy teaches manners!

Each day I receive an inspiring email from a company that deals with people in 12 step fellowships (ie those with addictions - mine is food in case you are not aware of my problem, I realise I do not blog about my food issues so much nowadays, believe me they are still very much there) and today's was all about Gratitude being a way of life. This struck a cord with me as this really fits with my beliefs.

It reminded me that saying thank you often and sincerely to those we love keeps us from taking each other for granted and we all like to feel appreciated - how many relationships dry up because the people involved don't realise what they have? Yes, how true, a good prompt to remind me to spend time with my man and to value him and his input to our family.

Then there is the gratitude I feel toward God, the source of all the blessings I enjoy but do not create for myself. This thankfulness can be a part of every breath I take, it is good sometimes to just take 10 minutes and to really focus on our breathing, softly speaking Yahweh as we focus on every breath. Often as I remember the many gifts of every day, my emptiness is filled.

You may have been able to tell from my last post that I have been in a low mood, a dark place for the last few days. I have wanted to snap out of it and it has been so hard. Crap happens that makes it even harder but I am determined not to continue to feel like this and the best thing for me I find is to cultivate an attitude of gratitude and to remember to list small things that I find grace in. So here is today's list -

1. Thanks to my lovely dh for being there today and helping me clean and sort our house when it looked like a shit pit full of builders dust


2. Thanks that my car flew through its MOT, just needing new wiper blades


3. Thanks that John Lewis took back my iron which blew up last night


4. Thanks that my JJ knew how sad and stressed I felt today and he kept trying to help me cheer up. He also cleared his room up for me.


5. Thanks that the front of my house is starting to look great, garage door gone, half bricked up, window in tomorrow.


6. Thanks that my food has been pretty good today


7. Thanks that I finished work today until 2nd August


8. Thanks that I go on holiday Saturday with my wonderful family while the builders stay here and finish all off


9. Thanks to friends inviting me out to dinner


10. Thanks to my sponsor for kicking me up the bum tonight


11. Thanks again to dh for cooking dinner for tomorrow so I can feel good that my kids will have a nutritious tea tomorrow with lots of veg


12. Thanks to all the great people who comment on here and give me hope


13. Thanks to those to write great blogs which inspire me to keep going

and on, and on, and on........ I know there are so many more people and things that I am grateful to and for but for now it is bedtime and I need to be kind to myself and get some sleep.

Nighty, night! Mich x

Image Source: http://school.discoveryeducation.com/clipart/clip/thanks.html

Help, Has anyone seen my Joy?

Posted on a tree somewhere in Hertfordshire by a lonesome blond:

Missing

Have you spotted my joy?

Lost sometime in the last couple of weeks.

Can be spotted by the warm glow or big smile on my face.

Reward offered, as much loved by my kids.

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That's right, I seem to have lost my Joy, very careless of me. I can not really start to explain to you what joy is and why it is different to happiness. I will try though. For me joy is a positive state of being, I might not be happy at that very moment but I can see the good in the situation and I know that God is in the midst and that I am being taken care of.

Right now I am not feeling that, I feel overwhelmed. Nothing too major is happening in my life but you know sometimes lots of little bits of crap come together and they make you feel pretty stressed? Well that is right here, right now for me.

I have seen glimpses of my joy in the last few days, out at the theatre with my Mum, at the Zoo with my family for the girls birthday and kissing my babes goodnight as they snoozed earlier on but that is it - just glimpses. It comes and moments later I feel blue and despondent again. I did not really realise this until today. Work is awful at the moment, we are bogged down and understaffed and I feel we are offering a much worse than normal service and in truth I feel compromised. I do so hate that, being the perfectionist that I am, only the best service will do and it is hard for me to tell people there is about a 2 week wait currently for my team to process their work.

I am glad I have had this realisation that I am feeling down, I can keep an eye on this and ensure it does not get any worse. The only word I could think of to describe how I felt earlier was despondent. I walked outside my house to take the bin bags out and looked at the pile of rubbish that needs to go to the dump, the front lawn full of weeds that needs a mow and the driveway which needs de-weeding and I wondered how things had got quite so messy. Then stepping back in my house I viewed the cream carpet that just makes me want to cry, the hire washer just does not cut it anymore but where will the money come from to replace it?

Oh woe is me! That is how I feel reading this back. My worries are very thin compared to many people's. Ultimately I know I am blessed and lucky, I am also just a little greedy and want more but that is part of being a flawed human. This rollercoaster of emotions that us women go through each month can be a real trial........ but tomorrow is another day and I am determined it will be a much better one.

This is all just 'a storm in a teacup' afterall!

This post was written for Josie's writing workshop. I used the one word prompt 'storm'.

Lets Talk About Sex Baby...

...Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let's talk about sex......

Ok enough, enough. Can you picture me dancing round the living room singing that out, big, buxom blond (can I be called buxom? no I think that means big boobed, so scrap that!) doing dodgy dance moves to a cheesy 80’s pop song. I was having fun but it was only meant to be a post title not an ode to the song.

Anyway Let’s talk about sex. Not my sex life you understand. If you were lured over here with the idea that I might reveal all the lurid details you will be sadly disappointed. I have to say that area needs some work right now. An unexpected pregnancy, miscarriage, excessive bleeding and recently fitted coil have not added up to the best rumpy pumpy ever!

What I actually wanted to talk about was sex and children. Sex education if you like. When to do it and in what form? If there are any teachers reading then do let me know what the schools advocate.

This post was inspired by a conversation I had with JJ a few days ago. He was getting ready for the shower and called me into the bathroom

JJ: ‘Mummy, is this a willy pea?’

Me: ‘A what darling?’

JJ: A willy pea, see there is a lump in my willy.

There he was holding his scrotum and showing me one of his balls (not so much the size of a pea, more a marble. On the subject can you tell what size they might have when older? I just wonder as this kid of about the same age stripped off in the changing room for swimming the other day and his willy was about twice the length of JJ’s. Anyway back to our bathroom conversation...)

Me: That is one of your balls JJ.

JJ: What does a ball do Mummy?

Me: Quick think, what do I say now?? Oh bugger, bugger! Why is dh not here to talk to him about these things. Then I remember the parenting course I am doing at the moment and they say to tell them the truth but in information chunks broken down to be age appropriate. Now JJ is 6.5 years, so what on earth is appropriate?

‘When you are bigger, a man, your balls will help you to help a lady make a baby. They are very special’.

JJ: ‘Oh, OK. Is that called marriage Mummy?’

Me: ‘Yes darling it is’ and off I walk quite satisfied that went well.

20 minutes or so later he follows me and asks the question every Mummy dreads ‘When can I start making babies Mummy?’. Ohh a very long time from now my little man.

We have then had follow up conversations over the last two days about how 2 men who are in love cannot make a baby and how 2 women who are in love cannot make a baby ‘as they have no balls Mum!’. Yes that is right babe but perhaps don’t shout that at any lesbians you meet!

I have also been asked when his sisters will start having eggs that can make babies and how the egg gets inside their tummy. Basically to this one I told him that when he is older we will chat about all this but for now he knows as much as 6 year old needs to know and he seemed quite happy with that.

Tonight he happily walked up to me, pulled down his pants and announced 'Look I have two balls Mum!'. Super, great, glad to see the full tackle is there!

How scary, I dread to think what my next question from him might be.

So here is my question for you. Especially those of you with older kids. When is it right to talk about the real ins and outs of this subject and not to just gloss over the details and how did you successfully do it? Any advice will be greatly appreciated as I enter this new minefield!

Scared & Embarassed: Making a Breakthrough..

This post has been written as part of Josie's writing workshop. It has been a while since I last joined in and I have missed it. The prompt I choose this week was one word 'Running'. Here is how I have been running from a situation over the last few weeks...

It was about 6 weeks ago that I last went swimming in the pool at work. It was a Tuesday morning about 7am, my normal time and I was looking forward to gliding through the water (yeah right, more like lumping) and having 30 minutes of 'me' thinking time. I adore my time in the pool (when I get there, not when I have to get out of bed at 6.20am and everyone else is still asleep!) and this day was no different to any other. At first the water was easing my period pains and the calm swooshing of the water was clearing my mind. I happily chatted to God and thought about what my week ahead would entail. It had been a rough month for me, what with my miscarriage and I was enjoying this precious peaceful time.

About 40 minutes later it was time to get out and get lively, off to work I needed to go. I had to be there for 8.30am made up and looking presentable. I got out of the pool and walked to the changing room to collect my towel and toiletries and then onto the shower. At that point I looked down and I did not know whether to cry, scream, hide or just die with embarrassment. I am sure the blood drained from my face and I felt such shame. I slowly opened the door and looked around, was anyone else there? No, sneak out and look round the corner, 'oh my goodness'. There from the pool right to everywhere I had walked was a trail of blood, my blood. Day two of my period, I was using the highest absorbency tampon you can, only recently inserted and it has failed me. I assume I bled so hard due to the miscarriage the month before as I have always swam at this time of the month and been heavy for a few years now but this was beyond heavy. This looked like someone had been murdered.

I quickly took my towel and swished it around the floor directly by the shower so that no trail led to me. Closing the door I died as the shower washed away the cause of my shame and then realised it was one of those awful things that I was in the last shower and the red washed down 2 or 3 showers more before reaching the drain. I stayed in that shower for 40 minutes that morning in the hope that I might just disappear.

When I finally found the courage and strength inside to re-emerge I saw that the blood was still there. How could this be? The staff are normally fab and these are probably the cleanest showers I have ever seen. I sneaked into one of the toilets and again shut myself away from the world, hoping no-one would see the guilt written over my face - 'it was me, I am the unclean person!'. Consoling myself I wondered if people might think I had cut my foot and that was it but realistically with that amount of blood it would have to of been an amputation. I could hear the speculation of people in the changing rooms, what had happened, who was it, why had it not been cleared up?

As I sat there praying I heard the lady come in and clear it all up and in my heart I was profusely thanking her. Over an hour after leaving the pool I came out and got dressed. I did go to work, although the urge to go home and hide was very great. It was a busy time at work and I am not one who likes to let her colleagues down. So in I went and felt terrible all day. Each time I remembered what had happened I relieved that embarrassment.

I have been so scared to go swimming or do aqua ever since. Normally I go twice a week and I have missed it but the thought of THAT happening again was just too much. Having had a coil fitted about 3 weeks ago this means my bleeding has been unpredictable but pretty low considering my norm, so this morning I felt I had the courage to take those steps into the pool and I am so glad I did.

Have I overreacted to this incident in staying away for such a long time - maybe? but I think much of my reaction has been tainted by the miscarriage and my hidden sadness at losing my baby. As said before realistically I know that it was not ideal to have another baby but from my heart it would of been lovely to have one.

NOTE: (Mum, do not worry when you read this. Fundamentally I am fine, it was just good for me to get this out and let go)

Pick of the Best!

Here are some great blogs which I follow and I want to give them a shout out and ask you to pop over and visit them and show some blogger love.


Walking with Angels - Sara is a really courageous Mum of 4 (and sometimes more, as she fosters). Her blog is from the heart and is full of tales of her walk with Christ and her love for all her kids. This lady has a massive heart and you will fall in love with her.

A couple of weeks ago Sara awarded me the above award (thank you honey) and I am supposed to tell you 7 things about myself that you do not already know. I am hard pushed to think of 7 new things so I am breaking the rules and instead I am giving this gorgeous award to these wonderful blogs I will list here.

Mummy Mayhem - Isn't this a perfect title for a Mummy blog? Jodie has me in stitches, a great lady from Oz who always has something interesting to blog about.

The King and Eye - Jen is a mummy of three and one of her little men has autism, she tells the story of her life and talks a lot about what it is practically like living with a child with autism. She seems the most lovely of women and always makes time to comment on 100's of posts! Respect to you Jen.

Casa Di Cass - is a really fun place. Big Mama Cass posts from the USA and I am always guaranteed a smile when I visit her.

So there are 4 of my favourite blogs right now. Thanks ladies for being great bloggers and readers alike. I hope to get to know you better over the coming months/ years! Mich x

Legend in My Own Living Room!

Yep, that is me. A complete legend in my own living room! Successful Mummy blogger - oh go on then, give me that title if you will. Not taking myself too seriously, you bet!

Both here and on hundreds of other blogs have been debates and post about what makes you successful in this parent/ mummy/ daddy blogging arena. I have got very down before when I did not feel I was doing too well and today I am pleased to say I feel pretty chipper! Last month on a whim I decided to put myself forward for Technorati acknowledgment and for a Tots 100 rating.

I have no idea what Technorati measures me on but I think I was told that a rating of about 600 was a good popular blog and that those higher than that 'were just showing off'. My rating at first was about 140 and now it is 430 and I think that is pretty presentable for someone who has just been out there for about 6 months and has limited followers and commenter's. I suppose some of it might be that I know I have a fair amount of people reading who never or rarely comment on my post but I hear from them in real life, by phone, via facebook, text or email. So my engagement can be really good but just not always on my blog. A while back that might have bothered me, as all that 'engaging' was not effecting my blog stats but now my sanity has returned I realise I would rather be having that engagement with people through a real life medium rather than my blog anyway.

Also I mentioned I put myself forward for a Tots 100 rating, and this rates the top 100 parenting blogs in the UK and it rates them over loads of criteria, most of which I have no idea. I must go and investigate, I am sure Sally wrote a good post a while back about it all. My rating has come up as 181 and I am super pleased with that. I do very little promotion to get that figure, I just blog and try and be me. This surprised me a bit as other blogs which I feel are far more 'popular' or better than mine have lower ratings, so this has given me a little boast and for today I feel I am doing a good job, or certainly a good enough job.

So now we know I am a good enough parent and seemingly a good enough blogger. What are you good enough at?

It is FloYoBlog Friday - go and visit Brenda at MummyTime. There are some fab other blogs in this hop too.

The Gallery: Holidays

Recently dh and I were really lucky and we got to have a little holiday away together. Friday morning my super fab Mum and Dad (oh and their puppy Archie too, as if they didn't already have enough to contend with - 3 lively kids!) arrived and shooed us off to Bristol and then on to Bath.

It was wonderful to be us again, yes I did miss the kids but it was so nice to go to the cinema at 5pm and not worry about tea, baths and routines. Spending a whole day wondering around Bath in our own time, doing stuff the kids would find really boring. Going into tiny little boutiques and curiosity shops (you know the type that you can NOT take a toddler into). We had a gorgeous Moroccan meal, another thing that the kids would not of enjoyed and we just got to be us. We chatted without interruption, we laughed and joked and felt very close. It was great!

In Bath they had a Pride of Bath exhibition across the whole city and there was 100 individually decorated lions around the city, below are some of my favourite ones.

It is hard to see in the picture but this lion was decorated from top to toe in wooden scrabble pieces and they made up really pertinent words in each of the relevant pieces, ie ear and hear on the ear. It was an amazing piece of art, I could of spent ages studying it.

This proud chap has a mane of razors, lethal and beautiful all at the same time.

Isn't it a gorgeous place? I would recommend a visit if you have not been there before.

This post was written for week 18 of the Gallery, hosted over at Sticky Fingers.

An Attitude of Gratitude.....

Some days we all ought to stop! We should think! and we should reflect! then we should remind ourselves how blessed we are.

So for today I am cultivating an attitude of gratitude. I choose to be positive and I choose to see the best in everyone and everything.

Here is my gratitude list from the time I woke up this morning to now as I slink off to bed.

I AM GRATEFUL -

• that I woke at 6.55am, a lie in from my normal 6.15am but still enough time to do what was needed and to leave the house by 7.45am
• that I had a nice invigorating shower to wake up and felt comfortable in my clothes
• that dh stripped JJ's sheets off when he had a little 'accident'
• that the kids got dressed with the minimum of fuss this morning
• that dh emptied and re-stacked the dishwasher before leaving for work
• that I got a nice kiss from everyone as they went off to school, work and nursery
• that the sun was shining and the rain stayed away
• that I have a car and was able to drive to work
• that everyone was smiling when I arrived to work, early!
• that I enjoyed my breakfast
• that the training course that I was running went well
• that my mother in law picked up JJ from school
• that my mother in law hung out the washing and did the washing up whilst I was at work
• that JJ enjoyed his day at school
• that the girls behaved at nursery and napped and ate well
• that all my kids were really pleased to see me when I arrived to them
• that I enjoyed my tea
• that my house was still tidy when I arrived home
• that I had fun reading the girls their bedtime story
• that JJ and I spent time together wrapping all the girls birthday gifts
• that the garage is nearly clear and ready for transformation
• that I got a little bit of time on the PC to catch up
• and lastly that I can now go to bed and sleep......

Have a go yourself, walk through your day in your mind and remind yourself that you are blessed. Have you ever read the book or watched the film - Polyanna? She plays the 'glad' game and is glad for everything, taking a positive slant on even the worst things and believe me this can get you through many tough times

This clip is from a re-make of the orginal film - enjoy!

Notes From The Heart.....

Hello Readers,

Do you know what? I have not even been begging for a couple of weeks and you keep on appearing and some of you new people are putting a follow on me and my reader stats keep going up. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing the blogger love. I don't think I am setting myself a target for new followers in July, in all this heat it is a time to be chilled...

Mich x
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Dear Mr Blog,

Are you feeling a bit left out? Not getting as much time from meas normal? Sorry about that but you know what I am a mummy to three, wife to one and I work too and guess what I have perspective. On my deathbed I will not worry if I wrote enough blog posts but I will worry about whether I spent enough time seeing my real life loved ones. So while this lovely weather is here and the house needs me (what with the garage conversion) then I just won't come and visit you as much but I am still here and Mr Blog if it helps, I still love ya!

Mwahhh Mich x
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Hello Precious Ones,

Yes you know who you are! You are the ones that I can not resist sneaking into at night and stroking your hair and stealing a little kiss from! I just wanted to say sorry that Mummy has seemed crabby the last few days. I have been silly and allowing myself to get stressed. Not enough time at home to achieve all the things that need doing. I had no idea that a garage conversion could require so much work on my behalf - ebaying, freecycling, charity shop drops, dump runs, filling bin bags, moving stuff to the shed, sorting through boxes of crap accumulated over the last eight years.

Anyway Mummy feels much better and more in control again now so hopefully we will enjoy a lovely family Sunday together.

Love you my little beauties and handsome man.

Mummy xxxxxxxx
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Dear Dh,

You have no idea how much you blessed me tonight. When you come home from a very busy day at work and come out into the garage without being asked and help me to start shifting all the stuff to the shed it just took a weight off my mind, it was amazing how quickly things happen when two of you are doing them.

I love you babe, thanks for our amazing weekend last week.

Mich xxxx
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Dear John Lewis,

After my last post about your rude assistant, I have to say you have redeemed yourself. I am delighted with my new Ted Baker handbag that I have got early for my birthday. Your assistants were just fab at chatting to my girls and engaging them giving me time to try out a few days.

Thanks for my fab 1/2 price bargain, Mrs P

Not SuperMich but a Good Enough Parent

This week I have had a couple of chats with friends about parenting and how tough it can be. So I said I would put up this post that I wrote for Guest Post Day back in May this year. This same post appeared on and then all I thought about was you blog originally. The brief we had decided was to write 'a day in the life of...' but I went a bit off cue, this was obviously what I needed to be thinking about at that time and again now for it to come to mind when I was having these conversations. So here we go.......

Hello, Yesterday I was SuperMich, the mum who can do anything, cope with anything and enjoy it! I would love to be SuperMich every day but alas it does not seem to happen like that for me. SuperMich only appears once in a while and I have to enjoy her whilst she is here.

Have you ever found you have more than one personality? Can you be a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde? I certainly can. Talking to my Mummy friends it appears that many of us suffer from this – Split Mummy Personality Syndrome.

There can be so much pressure to be the perfect parent and actually what is the perfect parent?

Well for me yesterday it was about being a mum to three, who had enough time to listen (yes really listen) to every word my kiddies said. I then chatted back and made good educational conversation, as well as singing lots of pointless songs and playing games, both directed by me (puzzles and drawing) and some directed by the girls (the joys of make-believe play – doctors and baby dolls). The girls then helped me to prepare dinner, sweep the floor and hoover. Yes when SuperMich I can even make housework an enjoyable game for the little ones. JJ then came home and joined us and because I was fully engaged with the kids they all played lovely together in the garden, bouncing on the trampoline to their heart’s delight. The kids ate good healthy food all day, Hubbie and I ate well too and there was just a feeling of harmony and happiness in our house.

I tend to find that the more I engage with my kids the better the day goes. When I wake up and make a choice to have a great day and SuperMich appears, I come down and can deal with the spilt milk, the wee on the carpet and the protests that the 2-year-old twins do not want to get dressed even though we are only a short while off the bell ringing at school. I am able to negotiate like I belong at the White House and can coherse co-operation like a top sales director. These SuperMich days are satisfying but if I am honest they are also very tiring and could I keep up this level of enthusiasm and interest 7 days a week? very doubt able.

So most of the time – who am I?

Well, I am just plain old weary Mich, a good enough parent (don’t you just love that phrase? I heard it years ago and it has always filled me with hope and verified that I am OK). I go to work 2.5 days a week, I try to be a good wife, I aim to be a good mother but yes the kids watch TV and often they are left to entertain themselves but that is the beauty of three kids, they have playmates without me having to constantly join in! yay

My house generally looks clean and tidy but not so much that the kids can not have fun, I have definitely grown more relaxed since having children and learnt the lesson that no one ever wishes they did more cleaning or worked more hours when on their deathbed. So I really do try to do fun stuff with the kids, we go to the park, the zoo, on picnics, enjoy play doh, do some make-believe (which yes I find totally boring but I love to watch them get on with it without me), bake cakes and make mess painting. The lesson I still need to learn and I am trying (honestly) is how to just relax and be; enjoying my kids that way, without always doing something.

A while back Sandy at Baby Baby did a good post on the very subject of good enough parenting. I said to her at the time I wanted to post on the same subject but it has taken me this long to get my thoughts down. Some of the reason for this is because I am a good enough parent. I care enough about my kids happiness and well-being not to blog for too long, because boy could I get really drawn into this addictive little world if I allowed myself to.

This subject of ‘perfect’ and ‘good enough’ parenting is really close to my heart so I googled under ‘perfect parenting’ and came across a survey which had been undertaken by Netmums with 1000 British kids. It made for interesting reading, stating that 77% of the kids felt the best Mums gave loads of cuddles. Tick, I do OK on that one! Amongst the other things that kids wanted from their ‘perfect parents’ was help with their homework, to be supported at school events, to play with their Dad’s, and to grow up to be just like their parents. The message was that we do not need to be perfect parents we need to be happy parents who try our best to be good role models.

Happy parents = Happy children. So for today that is what I will be – Happy Mich not SuperMich!

Grace in Small (Eating) Things

We have been away for our weekend and had a really fab time (thank you Mum and Dad, I know the kids ran you ragged!).

On the way back from Bristol this morning I was reflecting on how much I have to be grateful for right now and more than anything my eating and problems around food are at the forefront of my mind.

So here are a few things that I am feeling extremely grateful for -

1. I have not eaten chocolate for over a week and not even missed it There have been no overwhelming cravings for it.
2. I have been away to a 4* hotel which had the most fab breakfasts and I did not gorge myself. I ate a filling and moderate breakfast each day. Today I did not even bother with the cooked. Never would I have thought that a free breakfast would be available and I would not take it up.
3. Both Sat and Sunday I have not had a snack. Normally I plan my meals and plan in fruit, yogurt of something healthy but the last two days I have not really thought about it - ohh to be serene and happy every day. I assume my tummy must be shrinking inside.
4. I can see I am losing weight and I feel good for it.
5. I needed some tea last night and where we were, there was just fast food places and a supermarket and I opted to go to the supermarket and get a salad rather than have chips - I just did not want them.

I know all these things to be miracles as I can not do them alone, especially when it is that time of the month. So thank you Lord for taking the time to be interested in my small problems.

The Simple Things...

It was JJ's sports day at school today and I was not particularly looking forward to this - think two 2 year olds crossing the spectator line and running across the course and tripping up some of the competing kids! this was the little vision I had in my mind but I really should have trusted God more and been a bit more chilled out as my girlies behaved just lovely and flirted with all the daddies there.

Then to top it off JJ went and won his first race. Neither he nor I would have expected this. He has always been far taller than his peers and much more like Mr Bean or Phoebe from Friends when he runs so we sort of expect him to come near to last (but of course we do not say this). So now I am in that wonderful place of having my heart swelled so much that it may just burst. I am so so happy for him, it has made my day. Isn't it funny how something so small means so much when you are a Mummy. You could give me a £1000 and I would not be happier than I am right now.

So come on share with me, what makes you a proud Mummy? Seeing as I am in this lovely sunny mood help me keep it alive. I used to moderate a twins chat forum and I was known there for my feel good posts, so why not bring it across here to.

I look forward to hearing about the simple things that make your day.

and lastly, here is my little man running along - he is the tallest one!

Blog Rolls - Love Them or Loathe Them?

Boy has my world changed in the last few months! My thinking space used to be taken up with kids, food, God and a few other things and do you know what the number 1 filler is nowadays? Probably blogging. I go to sleep thinking about posts I will write or some I have read and what I want to do to change my blog if only I had the time, money, energy, inclination etc etc (insert your own excuse here).

So one of the things I keep pondering over is my blog roll. I set this up about 6 months ago when I first started publicly blogging and now I keep thinking that I must update it. I have a personal hate of blog rolls that have loads of blogs on them that have not posted for yonks (don't you just love that word? lol I have not used it for ages!)

Anyway what I wanted to know was how you manage your blog roll. Is it something you did once and have forgotten? Do you have a regular maintenance plan to keep things up to date and tidy? If another blogger pisses you off and never appears to visit your blog/ comment etc do you take them off?

Brenda over at MummyTime is a real advocate of marketing and promoting other peoples blogs. I think she says something along the lines of promote them 7 times more than your own. Her logic being that all that positivity will pay dividends for you in the end and I do like this philosophy ( I hope I have got that right Brenda, lol) but what about you, what are your thoughts? Come on share them with me.

The Gallery: Creatives

Three different interpretations for this weeks prompt from Tara.

First up, a creature you may not of met before -

Latin Name - Pesticus Son
Distinguishing Features - approximately a good foot taller than all the other animals in his class, trousers can be seen hanging off the bum, top is constantly dirty and can he be heard yelling 'MUMMM'
Life Span - hopefully a real long time
Endearing Qualities - tells me I am pretty and I look nice, gives great cuddles and has an amazing sense of fun
Habitat- Lemur enclosure at Paradise Park, Herts

Then my son the falconer. Isn't is amazing how brave these kids are age 5!


and lastly this is JJ's idea of a fun photo, poke your tongue out and pretend you have a trunk!!!



Thanks Tara for another great prompt. I have been looking at some of the gallery posts this week and the are great. Use the cup link on Wednesday and pop over to see Tara and Sticky Fingers and view all the fab gallery posts.

Our weekend in pictures

It has been a lovely weekend. Fun, family and friends - just how it should be! (and now I need to do the ironing! lol)

We took a walk round the local lake and we bumped into loads of babies...

Had fun at a summer fete at a local school (the kids got temporary tattoos - the best 25p I have ever spent -so happy, does not even describe it!)
Worshipped at Church, the girls enjoy some flags!
and some junk modelling to finish off the fun...

Notes from the Heart... (update on Miss E)

Dear Doctor,

Thank you so much for listening to me today and referring Miss E to the paediatricians at the hospital for a full investigation for her passing out/ fitting when in pain. Thank you also for not making me feel too much of a bad parent as I listened to myself explaining what has been happening and realised I should have bought her to you before now.

A grateful Mummy

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Dear Miss M,

Boy was that a tantrum today! WOW WEE to use your own words. You just do not get it, do you? Sometimes we have to be somewhere at a specific time and it is not all about you! Jacob had a swim lesson, which he loves and which cost Mummy and Daddy lots of pennies. I am very glad you conceded to calm down after 20 minutes.

Did you feel you achieved anything by this mass let off of steam??

Still love you Diva, Mummy xxxx

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Hey JJ,

Mummy is very proud of you this week. You have tried so hard to be a good boy and to be mindful of your behaviour and your effect on others. Your teacher is also really pleased, your smiley chart at school has been far more happy than sad! Keep up the good work, especially the great progress you are making with your swimming. It won't be long now until you have your appointment at the hospital for your aspergers assessment at the communications disorder clinic.

Love you my big boy, Mummy xxxx


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Dear Lisa, Laura and Lorie (the magnificant 3 L's!)

I am on countdown, only 1 hour and 20 minutes until we will be sitting together in the Indian restaurant about to order our scrummy meal. A night out with the girls for good food and chat is just what I need!

Love you all, Mich x

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Dear Mum and Dad,

This time next week it will be you here dealing with my rabble and me and dh will be down South having a lovely romantic weekend away together. We are so grateful for this opportunity to spend some time together and just can not wait....

Mich xx

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Dear most excellent readers,

You know I keep setting myself little targets to gain followers, well I am now up to 57! Thank you very much, I am nearly at my little target of 60 by the end of June! Just three more to go.

I hope you all have fab weekends, sending you fun and serenity.

Mich x

Summer is...

Today is a good day. No scrap that, today is a great day! Today I love my husband more than I did yesterday. Today I am thankful for such amazing parents. Today my kids are wonderful individuals who make me so proud. Today I am joyful for the recovery I have made, thankful for who I am. Eternally grateful to the 'Big I Am' for His part in all this.

Today my heart is nearly not big enough for all the love I have............... and you know what helps me to feel like this? IT IS SUMMER! Yay

So in the spirit of those greeting cards that were around when I was a kid. Do you remember the cartoon characters and the caption 'Love is...' and then a corny line. I am going to make my own corny lines and use the caption - 'Summer is...'

Love is... the reason we're here on earth! ahhh

Summer is...

... feeling the cool breeze coming through the open patio doors

... listening to the squeals of laughter from the garden as the kids spray water at each other

... burying Daddy in the sand at the beach

... wearing bright colours

... wearing sandals and flip flops

... the smell of fresh cut grass

... that cut grass getting trodden through your house as the kids play chase!

... a glass of rose enjoyed in the garden after the kids are snoozing

... big brother on in the background (but not for much longer!)

... pic nics in the park

... feeding the ducks

... bare bums jumping on the trampoline (the kids, not mine!)

... going on a family holiday, enjoying time together

... air conditioning in the office at work (thank goodness)

... yummy ice creams

What does the summer mean to you? I am sure I will think of loads more as soon as I post this. Isn't that always the way! lol

Wordless Wednesday: Sums up how I feel today!

The kids have summed up perfectly just how Mummy feels today!

Bleurrrr

My Poppet Keeps Scaring Me!

Dear Miss E,

Darling, do you not realise that you keep giving Mummy heart attacks? Thank goodness your Daddy has been here when you have been doing these things.

Come on, explain to Mummy. Do you have a very low pain threshold? Is this something Mummy should be worried about? Do I need to take you to the Doctors? Are you just a bit of a drama queen? (we all thought Miss M had that base covered).

Let me tell you that when you hurt yourself and then cry so hard that you hold your breath and then either pass out or fit it really terrifies me. You are my little poppet and Mummy hates to see you in pain. At least tonight you did not go not shock like last time, it was awful to see you white as a sheet but with red blotches across your body, cold sweaty head and eyes rolling behind your closed lids as you came in and out of consciousness.

It has now been 3 times that you have done these things and I must say I am temped to be a needy Mummy and to take you to the doctors later in the week when I am off work. Can it be normal for a little person to hurt themselves and to have such an adverse reaction?

I love you so much my babe, please stay well and stop doing this.

Mummy xxx

Anyone have experience of their little one passing out, fitting, going into shock when they hurt themselves and not particularly seriously? The kind of thing that just makes other kids cry. I would love to hear from you.

Cheers Mich x

The Gallery: Motherhood

What a lovely prompt this week. Tara has directed us to show a photo which to us epitomises motherhood. Here is mine:




Disclaimer: Now before you call Childline I was right there taking the photo one handed while my other hand is just below the pillow under JJ's head. I also just want to add that I do not mean motherhood is being on the PC and leaving the kids to sort themselves!

This is JJ when he is just a few weeks old (why he has a pink dummy I have no idea, bad Mummy!) and on the computer screen is Babycentre, this was my lifeline when JJ was small. I met so many fab women on there, many of whom I am still in contact with 7 years later and some I still see.

You know when you are a first time Mum and you have no idea about the constant dribbling, the crying that won't spot, the spit up that ruins your clothes, the lack of sleep at night, the rash that appears from no where etc etc - you get my drift. Babycentre was were I went to get the answers and reassurance that I needed. I did not really have any real life friends with small babes at first so I turned to this fab group of women and then later met friends with babes. Nowadays you can start a blog but when JJ was born in 2003 I did not even know what a blog was! lol

So that was the start of motherhood, learning to share every little part of my life with other women to learn from them and draw strength from them and then as I learnt, offering that back to others and helping them to feel confidence and enjoyment in their parenting. So today as well as motherhood I am part of a special gang: the Sisterhood, all us Mummies have to stick together despite our differences because we are on this long difficult but joyful journey together!

Kiddie Smiles & Motivation by Praise

Today has been a lovely day! yay

Enough said, end of post!

No only joking, just been chatting to some friends online and they have got me in a silly mood. Isn't it great to catch up with friends. We are a bunch of diverse women with one thing in common, we are all twin mums and they never fail to make me feel good and happy. Thanks POPOTOMS, I can not wait for our August girlie night away.

Anyway, back to the matter in hand. My little people..... isn't it amazing the simplicity of some things that will brighten your child's day? We took JJ for his swim lesson today and afterwards as we were tight for time I said we could have a McD's and do the drive through. We sat in the car and ate our food waiting at the station for Daddy's train to arrive. They could not of been more happy anywhere else in the world. Me, dinner at a nice London restaurant would float my boat. But fast food from the box in the car with an ELC car music CD blaring did it for them! lol

We were tight for time as we went to a wedding earlier this evening, so normally at 7pm I am getting the kids in their PJs and tucking them up in bed. Tonight they were getting in their glad rags and heading out to dance, and dance they did! Cheesy music and a bottle of bubbles can delight even a stony faced 6 year old!

So much of my day has been good, as I have been on form. I am doing a parenting course at the moment and yesterday was about choices and consequences and getting your little ones to do the things you need them to do rather than going their own way. The way to get them to do this is to offer the choice for taking a bad action and point out the negative consequence and highlight the positive reward for the right action. It is lengthy and takes some thinking about but I can see in one day that it works. Long may I remain this Mummy who has the time and energy to think before she speaks.

Some of the other things we have been covering are family rules, kindness charts and rewarding children by positive reinforcement. So tonight since returning from the wedding I have made a starry night chart, which basically is a family kindness chart. When anyone in the family does something good and worthy of praise anyone else can give them a star and the aim is to fill the starry night sky and then the whole family get a reward together. So there is no competitiveness between the kids, everyone has to work together and they have to share why they are placing a star on the chart. One of the other women started this last week and it has worked wonders for her, so wish me luck here!

I also made some 'Mummy's Special Award' certificates. The idea is that each week I will give one to each child and there will be a reason why they get an award and this positive reinforcement of the right behaviour should result in me seeing more of it. I will let you know how I get on with these initiatives.

Notes From The Heart.....

Dear amazing bloggers from Australia, New Zealand, America, Canada and anywhere else miles away that I have not mentioned.

Months back I saw Brenda as a blog of note and went to visit her, since then I have happily followed her growth and success, in doing this I have met so many amazing bloggers from Oz and NZ.

Also a few months back I visited Kat and this opened up a whole new wealth of US and Canadian blogs for me to visit from her Dear So and So linkys.

I just want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to come and visit this Brit and sharing your blogger love with me. I probably get just as many non UK comments now as I do UK ones.

You all rock!!! Mich x

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Dear House,

You are looking all nice and tidy right now, could you please try and stay like this for at least 48 hours. What, oh it is not you I should be addressing this note to. OK I will ask the kids.

Cheers, Happy House Owner

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Hello Mini Me's,

Can the three of you please try and keep Mummy's house looking nice for a while? I find it so satisfying to see it clean and tidy. I know it is part of your job description to wreak havoc but if you all behave nicely Mummy and Daddy will take you to a wedding tomorrow night and you can dance to as much cheese as you like.

Looking forward to it, love you all Mummy xxx

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Dear Mich,

Why are you being disobedient at the moment? Come on girl, you were doing really well with your eating. Why have you started to pick at 'no' foods? I do not understand you sometimes woman!!

Angry self!

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Dear Readers,

All of you, whether you come from the UK or somewhere else, thanks as always. I am really enjoying blogging right now and you help to make it fun and guess what I wanted to get to 50 followers by the end of June and I now have 53. So me being me I have to up my game and say 60 followers by the end of June. So help me with my little good natured challenge.

Thanks again, Mich x

Can you help me get some perspective please?

I am hoping you can help me. Would you mind giving me your perspective in the hope that I might actually gain some perspective on my life? Go on, pretty please.

I have blogged before that I have a problem with sitting still and relaxing, it is not something that comes naturally to me. I am very good at writing lists and achieving targets, getting things done basically. It is as if, when I am just relaxing or playing with my kids or such I do not feel there is any value in what I am doing and I start to feel as if I have achieved nothing in my day. This is bad as those play times or times of stillness might be when I teach my kids a valuable life lesson or recharge my own batteries. I can tell you what the books say; that I have to get a balance and enjoy some down times but the bit I cannot work out is what is a good balance?

I really enjoyed my weekend. The boys were away and the girls and I had a nice time. I did a few chores on Saturday morning and then we went into town to cross a few more things off my list and have lunch. Tea and bedtime was a nice relaxed affair and then my friend came over for a DVD, Indian takeaway and good chin wag. Sunday was Church in the morning and then we went to a fete and car boot before collecting the boys from camp late afternoon. See a totally chilled weekend and I enjoyed it, the girls behaved so well – probably because I was physically and mentally available to them much more than normal. Minimal chores were done, everyone was fed, washing was done and the kitchen kept clean but that was it. So what is your view – was I lazy this last weekend? Or was it good that I had a nice relax and enjoyed my kids and Church.

I suppose I ought to give you the backdrop to this question and describe a week day for you. Monday and Tuesday I work a full day and then here is my day from yesterday –

• Got up at 6.15am and showered, dressed and did my daily readings
• 7am got the kids up, gave them breakfast and got them dressed (dh helped)
• Dropped JJ to breakfast club at school, dh at the station and the girls to nursery before going to work
• Work from 8.20am – 12.30pm
• Lunch on my own – 20 mins to myself!
• Collect girls from nursery and head home
• Tidy the kitchen, full clean of the bathroom, wash all the towels, clean the downstairs toilet
• Make all the beds and tidy the kids rooms
• Did my daily bible reading
• Hemmed some work trousers
• Put another wash on
• Collected JJ from school
• Got the kids back and sorted with drinks etc, unpacked JJ’s bags
• Folded the washing and put away, put another wash on
• Spent 40 mins blogging – bliss
• Got the dinner ready
• Collected dh from the station
• Came back and finished dinner and we all ate together (then dh went out to do cubs)
• Got the dishwasher loaded and on, cleaned the table, hoovered the dining room, tided the kitchen
• Bathed the kids and did bedtime stories with them all
• Folded more washing and put it away
• Kids all asleep – yay. Went on the computer and surfed, answered emails etc (2 hours to myself)
• 10pm got the ironing out and ironed until 11pm
• Then relaxed for ½ hr with the PC and bed at 11.30pm

Now I am pretty sure that by anyone’s standards this is a busy day but this is pretty much how most week days are for me. So by writing this I think I am answering my own question, if I do nothing much on a weekend after 5 days of this full-on sh@t then I am pretty justified – right?

Cos you is a laydee Mummy!

Do you ever have a day when you have tons of ideas buzzing around your head and you can not wait to blog as there is just so much you want to say? Well today is one of those days, I will have to sit on my hands so I do not chuck out post, after post, after post today.

All these ideas and what have I decided to grace my lovely blog with? Well, I think it is important for everyone to have smile on their face on a wet Wednesday afternoon, so here is a conversation that Miss M, Miss E and I enjoyed earlier today in the car on the way home from work and nursery.

Miss M: My play on the trampoline when we at home

Me: Lovely darling

Miss M: It was broken yesterday, you fixed it Mummy

Me: Yes I did, but we have to be very careful as I have not properly fixed it yet

Miss E: You got no tools Mummy

Me: No sweetie, I haven't got any tools

Miss E: Daddy got tools Mummy, Daddy fix things, he a builder

Miss M: You not a builder Mummy

Me: No, I am not a builder babe

Miss M: That is cos you is a laydee! Said in full David Walliams/ Matt Lucas voice. They both joint in with my chuckling but of course had no idea what it was I was laughing at (I do stress she has never seen Little Britain! lol)

So here you are, something to make you smile. Emily and Florence take afternoon tea, as all true ladies do!

Enjoy...

Getting it off my chest in a stolen moment!

That title really could mean something quite exciting couldn't it? If you popped over here hoping that I might be going topless and baring all then I have led you astray.

What I need to get off my chest is a grrr rather than my bra. Today it is just the girls and me and I have to say that life is infinitely easier with 2 kids than 3. Do not get me wrong I would not give up any one of my gorgeous babes but some days less is more, if you know what I mean?

We ventured into town to do some banking, birthday shopping and have a spot of lunch at John Lewis, well you know when the boys are away the girls will play! We had the chat in the car about how mummy needs the girls to stay close to her and not run away and how happy that will make mummy so happy. We then had the more effective conversation about how the girls could have an ice cream if they behaved whilst in town. No, I am not adverse to a bit of bribery.

There we were in John Lewis after our lunch and I thought I would browse the handbags, it must be that time of year again when I need a nice new bag. I was modelling a gorgeous hot pink one to myself in the mirror, when I turned to check where Miss E was and as I did Miss M took a handbag off the shelf and copied Mummy, having a look in the mirror. At that point, frosty old bi*ch assistant came over and asked me to kindly stop my children removing the bags from the shelf. I apologised and took the bag off Miss M to put back and the lady sternly told me 'I'll take that!'. I was so hurt by her tone and accusatory voice that I forgot to ask her if she thought shopping and parenting toddler twins was an easy task. We promptly left JL with me muttering about how we were not welcome. If only I had the energy to complain about her. The lovely £100 pink bag is back on the shelf in JL and they missed out on that purchase. I would not mind but at this point my girls were being angels.

I did learn today as well that even though they are female and my daughters there is only so much shopping that 2 year old girls want to partake in before they start playing hide and seek under the dress rails. Embarrassed in Monsoon - who me? never. I can not wait for the time when my babes want to have a girlie shopping day and we do it until we drop like I do with my Mum - bliss.

In all, for being out for about 4 1/2 hours the girls did really well. I got everything that I needed to, we had minimal whinging from Miss E, Miss M listened extremely well and we all enjoyed ourselves. I think the highlight for the girls was sitting on the lawn having their ice lolly, notice I said they had a lolly. I did not even feel deprived and I stayed away. At the moment I am feeling a real freedom from food obsession and it is wonderful, thank you Lord, long may it last.


So now I better end this stolen moment, I am tapping away in the front of my car on my driveway as the girls have fallen asleep in the car on our drive back from town. I do hope this does not put their bedtime out too much as my friend is coming over tonight for an Indian, DVD and general catch up - a perfect end to a good day.

Mummy Things That Make Me Smile

Spurred on by reading my friend Ela's Facebook status today, I thought I would share some of the little things about being a Mummy that make it all worth it!

• My twinnies holding hands and walking along together giggling.
  
• JJ waving me off tonight as I left him at camp ‘I’ll really miss you Mummy’.
  
• Miss M’s new use of the word actually, for example ‘I am not making a mess actually, Mummy!’ Add you own 2 year old teenager attitude here!
• Miss E’s joyful giggle as you push her ‘higher, higher’ on a swing.

• When the bedroom finally goes quiet at night and both babes have fallen safely to sleep.
  
• Seeing my little man look so grown up after having his hair cut.
• Watching dh today with all our children, his love and patience shining through.

• Hearing my kids showing their good manners. Miss E is the example to the other two and she has a delightful way of saying ‘yes pleeeaasse’.
  
• Hearing JJ read to me and watching him trying to use different voices and expressions for the characters.
  
• Singing our hearts out on the way home to the most cheesy CD alive. Yes, I thoroughly recommend that if you have young kids you go and buy ELC Pop Party. We were happily doing the actions to Superman and 5,6,7,8!
  
• All the kids playing together nicely and giving me 5 minutes peace to read a chapter, jump on the PC or do some housework.

What about you? What are those special things that warm your heart and bring a smile to your face?

Notes From the Heart.....

Dear Blog,

Notes from the heart..... seems to be becoming a weekly feature. I obviously like it!

From, the blogging queen!

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Little mouse in my garage,

How dare you get in the garage and up on the table and eat the rest of my kiddies Easter eggs! even through the boxes.

I can not believe your audacity! Now leave my house immediately before I set a trap for you.

Mad Mich

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Dear dh and JJ,

I hope you have a wonderful time this weekend camping with the cubs and I pray that the weather stays nice for you.

Enjoy your boy time. Mummy xxxxx

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My beautiful twinnies,

We have a girlie weekend ahead, lets enjoy it! If you can do as Mummy asks life will be much simpler and Mummy will appear much happier. Do you think you can manage to listen for a few days? (are you listening Miss M?)

Love you both, Mummy xxxxx

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Dear Readers,

Each day I seem to find out about more and more of you. I get texts, facebook messages and emails but come on show yourself on here. Be brave, leave me a comment or put a follow on me, you know you want to help me get to my target of 50 followers by the end of June!

Cheers, much obliged. Mich x

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Dear warped mind,

I am so grateful to have been abstinent from compulsive overeating for the last couple of days. If you could please stay sane for the foreseeable future I would really appreciate it and my fat body would also like to shrink a bit.

Thanks, Happy Mich x

Today I Made My Boy Cry

I didn't mean to but I think it had a purpose.

I have not mentioned here before but my gorgeous little man has a problem. He is totally self-absorbed and everything revolves around 'world JJ'. Now you may just think this is normal but it appears that all the other 6.5 year olds in his school have started to mature and have learnt the lessons of compromise, give and take, turn taking, empathy and the like. My little man likes to control every situation and when he can not he gets very frustrated and often, just recently, bursts into tears and can become inconsolable for quite some time.

Since he started school 2.5 years ago teachers have flagged to dh and me that he is slow on the uptake with his social and emotional skills. He has had smiley face charts, star charts, toot (talking out of turn) charts and such but there is still an issue. We do not really know what the issue is, no one has a name for JJ's behaviour but it has now got to the point where they want to have him assessed and dh and I feel it is right for this to happen. We want to give JJ the best help we can so he can develop to his full potential, whatever that may be.

It is not that he is silly, his report gives him a 2b in each of his learning areas, the average he is supposed to leave year 1 with is a 1a in each area. So he is 2 levels higher than the expected average and to some extent this makes it harder as people expect a lot of him as he is so bright.

I do not want to label JJ or place him in a box but I am keen that he does not get called naughty or bullish at school unnecessarily. JJ is a big boy, not fat, just tall and sturdy and this makes the problem worse as he can come across as a bull in a china shop. He runs into someone and knocks their teeth out (that was about a year ago - total accident but still, I felt so sorry for the little lad, thankfully the teacher was watching and knew it was an accident) but it does not even occur to him to stop say sorry and check they are OK. He shouts sorry and runs off and continues his game in World JJ.

Some of you reading this may consider what I have said as totally normal for a 6 year old but if you are with JJ for some time you start to see that his behaviour is different to those of his peers. It really saddened me to read in his referral document that JJ has no close friends as he drives people away with his need to control every situation. How to pull on a Mummy's heart strings! I could not even sign it the same day, I had to take the document home and digest the information and realise that yes a while back JJ did tell that no one plays with him at breakfast club anymore and also realise that yes, he hardly ever gets any invites to tea at peoples houses. I think I was kidding myself that was because I did not have many kids over to ours anymore but actually we have a load of un-reciprocated invites.

Luckily my little man is pretty happy in his own company and this does not seem to effect him too much but maybe things may change as he gets older and others start to go out together and he is not invited. The conversation we had this morning, that ended up with him crying was about how other people that he had considered to be his best friends hardly played with him anymore and that they had other best friends and did not seem to want to play with him anymore. I tried really hard to be sensitive in my explanation that we have to let others have a turn and to choose the game sometimes. I held him in my arms as he shed his tears and weep that his teacher had told the class not to just play with their best friends but to play with everyone and let people join in. Then he tells me the problem with that is that he does not like to play their game and wants them to play his, my soft explanations and sympathy appear to fall on deaf ears and that is why I know there is some kind of problem somewhere. You can not rationalise with JJ.

He must have some capacity to learn the lessons as we talked a lot about respect, especially respect for the responsible adults in his life. Then this morning at the park he was playing around after I had told him it was home time and when I firmly stated 'JJ, get off the slide right now' he stopped and I visibly saw him process this and jump off the slide and come to me, so obviously I gave him massive praise and told him he had showed me respect. There was also another good example of him thinking before speaking when we were out to lunch today but then this evening he decided to do what he wanted instead of listening so off he went to his room for some thinking and time out.

This parenting lark takes so much from you though, today I have had to be fully 100% switched on for the whole day to keep spotting him doing something good and to praise him for it. Generally it has been a good day.

So the school have had a speech and language therapist see him already and that person did feel there is an issue to be investigated. He has an appointment for Wednesday at the doctors for a pediatric assessment and the aim is to get him a referral to a communication disorder clinic - what that means who knows. Time will tell and I will keep you updated here.

Thanks for reading, any comments from any parents who have been in a similar situation would be most appreciated.

Notes From the Heart.....

Hey JJ,

I really enjoyed our 2 hour car journey tonight whilst the girls napped. You were great company babe! You crack me up with some of the things you come out with. No going on holiday to Bournemouth and jetting off on a plane from Heathrow are not similar things! but yes darling I will really enjoy our Dorset family holiday and as for you becoming an ice cream man when you grow up, have you really thought this through? Probably not you are just 6 after all but I do not think the benefit of as much ice cream as you can eat passes for a good excuse for taking on a career!

Love you babe, Mummy xxx

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Right Head Lice,

I hate you! Get out of Miss E's hair! What is it with my little poppet that you like so much, I know her hair is gorgeous and straight and glossy but it is not for you. I have now treated you 4 times in about the last 7 weeks and just just keep re-appearing. I am so fed up with you buggers!

Piss off you unwanted blitters!

Angry Mum

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Dear dh,

I have been so pleased to see you looking a bit better this week and you seem more yourself. I hope you are back to full health very soon. Thanks for all you do.

I love you. Mich x

Ps - I can not wait for our weekend away in June (kid free yay!)

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Dear new HR system,

My colleagues and I all agreed on Thursday this week that we had the same sentiment towards you and here is Kelis explaining it well



You are really crap!

All in HR

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Thank you Lord,

For being close to me this week and helping me to mostly stay away from my danger foods. I feel really good for the awareness you have given me around food and I love the feeling of dropping weight.

Thanks again, Michelle x

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Dear wonderful readers,

As I said last week, thanks so much for stopping by and boasting my bloggy confidence. You make my day! Have you seen? I have now gone to 45 followers, only 5 more and I hit my personal target to be at 50 by the end of June! Keep on following...

If you like the concept of Dear So and So, pop over and visit Kat, click the icon below -

Guest Post Day - A Day in the Life of Baba's Mummy

Here is the fab guest post I have received from Kerry at and then all I thought about was you, take a read and leave her some comment love. Then why not use the link and pop over to Kerry's blog and take a read at my post about being SuperMich!

I wake I am tired, but I can hear a cry of 'Mum, mum, mum'
Joined by bang, bang, bang of the door being slammed against the wall.
Baba is awake, it is 6.30am
My day is beginning!

I get up, weary and blurry eyed, put my glasses on
Stretch and prepare for the day!

I walk to Baba's door and he is standing by his babygate
His rag in his hand, dummy in his mouth, Roo in his other hand
Snuggling both and smiling behind his dummy.

I open the gate and Baba walks to the gate at the top of the stairs
"Teets" his name for the dog,
A point and a smile
T raises his head, grunts and trots down the stairs.

He scratches the back door, he wants to go out.
I carry Baba down the stairs,
Change him and let out the dog.

Standing on the decking, in the morning briskness
Waiting and training the dog to pee in the right place.
He wonders round, he sniffs, he stands, he looks,
He walks back in,
He does nothing!

Baba is sat on the sofa,
Pointing, "err err"
He looks at me, he looks at the kitchen
He wants breakfast.

"What do you want?
You can have weetabix, or toast you choose?"
He grunts at toast,
Toast it is today.

I put children's television on
Baba sits, and watches quietly.
I go into the kitchen and make his toast.

T is scratching, again we go outside.
Again he does nothing!
Again we come back in...

The toast has popped,
I butter and spread, I cut into four.
I take it to Baba.
He eats a couple of pieces.
It is rare to eat it all.

He chucks a bit on the floor,
He laughs,
The dog eats it.
I tell him "no" and again say he shouldn't feed the dog!
Deaf ears is all I have to say.

The dog is scratching,
I open the door,
Stand on the decking,
Again he sniffs, he walks around, he looks,
He runs to the end of the garden
He does his business
Yes success!
He gets some praise, we go back in.

Baba is asking for juice,
I go and pour some milk
He sits on the sofa,
He drinks his milk.

He takes a mouthful,
He puts it on the sofa,
Dummy shoved back in his mouth, rag in his hand.
He is done.

Dummy is thrown, rag is put on top of dummy
Another mouthful,
The same process again, and again
Until he is finished.

He shoves the cup in my hand.
He climbs off the sofa
He grabs his toys, he starts to play
I have time to sit down and eat my breakfast.

A normal morning for Baba's mummy!

Wordless Wednesday: a Morning Greeting

This greeted me when I walked downstairs the other morning and it just made me smile. This one potty of poo summed up much of my days with two 2 year olds! lol Quite why they thought to leave it at the bottom of the stairs for me who knows!

Grace in small things

I have not posted one of these for a while and I should. Lets face it I am a lucky girl and I have everything to be grateful for!

1. Today I am abstinent (and yesterday too!) and that makes my life so much more manageable.


2. JJ got all smiley faces on his chart at school yesterday. (here he is doing the tug of war at the weekend, he is the small one in the red top, hat and has a black and blue 'Batman' face!)



3. My girls were both dry this morning when they woke from their night time sleep. (This is the big girls at play last Friday).



4. The sun is shining again but no where near as hot as it was (and for me, that is a good thing).

5. I am seeing my parents this weekend and I am soooo looking forward to that.

Thank you Lord for all you do for me, I love to see your grace in all that is done.

Loved Unconditionally

How amazing is it to feel that people love you for who you are and there are no strings attached? I am ultra lucky in that I have quite a few people like that and today I was reminded of just how much I am loved by one special little lady.

Miss M and Miss E: 'Ohh your bracelet pretty Mummy' (I make the fake charm bracelets for myself)

Me: 'Shall I make you both one for you birthday?'

Miss M: 'Yes Mummy, my want a pink one, like you'

a short pause, while she fluffs her gorgeous fine flyaway white hair

'and my want big pretty hair like you too'

another pause whilst she lays back on the bed

'and big boobies like yours'

'and big tummy like yours'

and this went on for quite some time, as she declared she wanted every piece of my body including all the bits I loath and want to change.

Ohh I could just eat her up and here she is today being a tiger at her nursery fete.