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My Journey so Far
Regular readers will know I have been very overweight for a long, long time. It really is the bane of my life but much of the time I seem powerless to do anything about it. I know that sounds a bit pathetic but we all have our demons to conquer and overeating is mine.
I went on my first diet when I was about 14 (if my memory serves me well). It was my doctor who put me on it and thinking back, I'm sure I was only about a size 10/12, so it seems outrageous to me now, that he thought it was OK to confirm my worries about my size and ask me to keep a food diary and then just half everything I ate.
Over the years I have tried many, many diets. I tend to go for the more mainstream and less extreme diets in general. I know the general principle of eat less and move more, but truly I do love food and as much as anything, I know I am an emotional eater and I love the comfort of food, and that's not healthy for me.
I'm now at the heaviest I have ever been, I am classed as morbidly obese and I can feel myself falling apart. I have around six different health/ pain issues that I am convinced would all benefit from me being between 2 - 8 stone lighter. So, no longer can I ignore my issues, I have to take steps to make a difference.
It's been a lovely summer and it feels like a very long one. We've had a short break in Kent and a couple of days in London and now my parents and brother are here staying for the week. I've been at work one day a week, and that's been a nice escape and the kids have all had time away at camp and grandparents.
But now I am ready for school to resume and normality to come back. I like a break and a rest, but then I love routine too and I really am craving some quite times to myself without any shouts of mum or moans as they wind each other up and bicker.
At the risk of sounding like a broken record I have realised (again) that I must lose weight and this isn't just something I fancy, it really is something I MUST do. I have developed carpel tunnel syndrome in one hand, I still have pains in my left foot that never go away, my calves ache after too vigorous exercise, I have arthritis in my knee joints and my right thigh goes numb/ has pins and needles if I stand for too long. Add that to asthma and high blood pressure and you can see that I need to do what I can to try and give my body a fair chance at being healthy.
I've been burying my head in the sand for too long and I need to put as much effort into my own health as I do to anything else in my life. Nothing else will give me the quality of life that a healthier body would, so it completely makes sense to invest in that area. It really does seem crazy that I choose to eat too much and the wrong foods, rather than sacrificing a few calories.
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As a larger lady, shopping isn't always fun for me. I know many of the BBW (big beautiful women) or the body confidence, plus-size community would tell me there are loads of fabulous clothes out there, in far beyond my size. I should embrace who I am and how I look, and just shop to suit me and no-one else. And I do. I shop for me but the reality is that I don't like being a size 22/24. I'm not healthy at this size. I need to lose weight and this will happen, but right now I'm a bit stagnant in that quest. I don't like my shape and for me, it doesn't feel flattering in clothes. I have a truly enormous stomach, like a great big air balloon on my front. I'm not writing this for you to tell me I am OK as I am, or that I look good. I know I look presentable and sometimes I feel beautiful, but a lot of the time I just feel uncomfortable and like I'd like to slice my enormous belly off the front of me. Not in an unhealthy kind of way, just in a wishful... I'd look so much better and everyday tasks would be a lot easier kind of way. I like to be comfortable and that is more important to me than being trendy or stylish, so I go for clothes in the same kind of cut and I like longer tops that cover most of my belly. I often fall back on black or navy, despite the fact that I love reds, pinks, bright blues and greens, as they are safe colours. Ones I don't have to stand out in.
Few words are likely to fill a lot of people will more frustration and misery than that word "diet". Sure, most people are totally on board with the idea of adopting a healthier lifestyle, but the truth is that there's a big difference between doing that and going on a diet. Of course, a lot of diets can be great. They can allow you to improve your health, look the way that you want, and increase your self-confidence. However, that only happens if you can actually stick to it. A lot of people will tell you that all you really need in order make a diet work is to stick to it, but that might well be the very definition of the phrase "easier said than done" Being able to stick to a diet can be a serious challenge for a whole host of reasons. Luckily, whether it feels like it or not, a lot of those challenges are within your control. With that in mind, here are some ways that you can really make your diet stick!
Set clear goals
One of the most common mistakes that a lot of people make when it comes to starting any kind of diet is that they try to jump in without really thinking about the kinds of results that they want. Things like "lose some weight" or "be healthier" are great as motivators to start a diet, but when it comes to actually trying to stick to something, you need goals that are a little more specific and clear. Figure out exactly how much weight you want to lose and try to figure out how long that will realistically take. Not only should your goals be clear and specific, but they should be something that you can actually achieve. The last thing you want is to end up getting discouraged because you haven't reached some kind of overly ambitious goal that you were never going to achieve in the first place. By having goals that you can aim for and can tick off your progress over time, you're going to find it much easier to stay motivated, even when things get difficult.
Welcome friends to August’s Slimming Sunday, the
linky for all your weight loss, healthy eating, exercise and healthy living
posts. #SlimmingSunday goes live the first Sunday of each month and your hosts
are Emma at Life According to Mrs Shilts and me, Michelle at Mummy from the
Heart.
This is a small, friendly linky and we’re happy
to have you join in. We are not big on rules but please, if you link up visit
some fellow linkers and leave a bit of comment love to encourage them and I'm
sure they’ll do the same for you. I'll be over to visit, comment and tweet out
your posts.
So, come on and share - how has July been for
you? Share your highs and lows and let us know where you need support. I'll be
really happy to pray for you too if you'd like.
It's been a good month for me, it feels like I'm
in a time of change and I'm hopeful this is the start of my forever journey to
healthy living. I started taking Orlistat fat blocker tablets (prescribed by
the doctor) and I was a bit fearful of taking these as they can lead to quite
explosive results (if you get what I mean) but thankfully because I've been
making good decisions to eat well most of the time I have been fine and at my
first check-in at the doctors I had lost just over 3kg which I'm happy with.
I've also had a number of doctors appointments
in the last month to try and get some of my health ailments sorted and again I
feel as if progress is being made. I had an MRI scan on my foot and there was
no evidence of a Mortons neuroma which is what they thought, so on the one hand
that's great but on the other I'm no closer to having any answer as to what is
wrong with my foot and why I get so much pain. I'm praying that as I lose
weight the pressure on my foot will lessen and naturally help it.
A post shared by Michelle Pannell (@michelletwinmum) on
Morning friends, welcome to this weeks link-up for #SlimmingSunday.
I'm afraid it is a short and sweet one for me this week as time has just run away with me. My parents have come to stay for a week, which has been great but they have kept me so busy that I haven't had any time to devote to my blog. I suppose you could say that is a good thing, I've just been out there enjoying life and not closeted away indoors. This post has literally been written in 10 snatched minutes between the recycling and the summer fete.
Exercise wise I'd say it has been a good week as I worked hard at my Monday night Fit Club and then I have really upped my steps again, finishing on just over 84,000 steps for Monday - Friday, so that's an average of 16,800 steps a day. I had said I would do two early morning DVD workouts but that didn't happen. I suppose because I hadn't thought about my parents being here and not actually having any free time.
I did teat myself to some new exercise gear this week though as I saw my jogging bottoms were getting some holes, I then realised they are 20 years old - that will be why! I'm hoping to put these though their paces Monday night but I'll have to see as I hurt my knee yesterday. I stepped down some stairs and felt the crushing pain as if too much impact had gone through my knee. It is no fun having arthritic knees at age 43.
I weighed in at Fit Club last Monday and as I mentioned a few weeks ago I have decided to do it blind for a while, so I have no idea what the scales said and truthfully I don't expect they said anything too different to the week before. I haven't been consciously dieting but I have been being mindful of my foot, trying not to just eat for the sake of it and I've been good with my water intake too.
Next weekend I head off to Spain on holiday and that means it will be Emma (Mrs Shilts) hosting #SlimmingSunday alone for Sunday 28th May and 4th June as I won't be here, so you'll need to make sure you link up over there. I am enjoying keeping up with your journeys though so once I am back and the washing is done I'll be over to visit to see how you are getting on.
From Monday 5th June I am treating it as if I am back at Slimming World and following that diet plan to give myself a good kick up the bum and to get some weight loss going. I was going to say ready for the summer but actually it is just because it needs to happen.
Wishing you a fabulous week, Mich x
How to Join in Slimming Sunday is a weekly linky hosted by Mich at Mummy from the Heart and Emma at Life According to Mrs Shilts. The posts go live at 7am every Sunday morning and you are most welcome to join in with any slimming/ weight loss/ exercise/ healthy recipe type post. Join as little or as often as you like. No pressure! 1) Write or link up an existing post about diet/ slimming/ healthy eating/ exercise or anything related to these topics. By linking up you'll receive a weekly email reminder about Slimming Sunday, of course there will be an unsubscribe button on every email so you can opt out any time but lots of people have been asking me for a reminder.
2) Grab the badge or add a text link to either Emma or I (or both if you are feeling super generous)
3) Go share the love. Please comment on both Emma and my posts and also at least one other but it would be great if you feel you could comment on a few more. I'm sure you'll feel the love back if you do.
Emma and I will come and visit you too and tweet out your links. Feel free to tag us with #SlimmingSunday, @michelletwinmum and @mrsshilts and we'll give you an RT.
I can't wait to read your post. Have a fabulous week, Mich x
If you like what you have read and want to stay up-to-date then subscribe by email for free and receive blog posts directly to your in-box - just click the link Subscribe to Mummy From The Heart... by Emailor perhaps you like to keep all your blog reading in one place, if that is the case you can follow me on BlogLovin too!
Morning friends, How are you doing on this fine Sunday?
I'm doing well, it has been a good week. Again I couldn't tell you I have been massively focused on my food, so it hasn't been a dieting week as such but overall it has been a really good week and I am pleased with my progress.
I've shared a little about how my eating and food issues are tied up with so many other things and one of the things that keeps me fat is fear. I have a fear of being hungry, a fear of losing weight and having loads of saggy skin, a fear of being too confident in myself and a fear of facing some things that have gone on in my past that have led to me wearing this fat suit as protection. I don't expect you to understand but it has been my reality.
This week I have done a session from the marriage course with my husband and we had a really deep and open conversation, been out with a friend where we also shared deeply and then had lunch out with my husband and continued the conversation. All this honesty and talking has been good and as my husband said, 'you can't not lose weight just because you are fearful Michelle'.
I realised I have been living under a sprint of fear and that I don't want it to continue as God wants me to be free and not fearful. So I took a symbolic step and I drove down a one-car wide country lane. I've lived in the countryside for four years now and I never drive down them as I get scared but I approached the lane and knew I had to drive through it and show myself there is no need to fear any longer.
I also went to my Fit Club on Monday night and I loved it. It really tested me and boy did I ache for a couple of days after but I am even looking forward to my session again tomorrow. Then I also need to start exercising more often, once a week is a start but it is not enough. I've been great at upping my steps and moving more but again it is not enough as it doesn't raise my heart rate.
So this week I am going to get back to a habit I had some years back. I woke early and came downstairs and did about 20 or 30 minutes of a fabulous workout series I have, called Walk at Home by Leslie Sansone. I just love them as they are walk aerobics and can be as low or high impact as you like but they are simple and get your heart pumping.
Last weeks Targets -
I did OK. I got my sleep, which is important. I don't think I had as much water as 2 litres each day and I forgot to write a full meal plan! No wonder I didn't achieve that one, if I didn't do the meal plan. I'm not writing a meal plan this week as my parents are visiting and that will mean lots of unpredictability and meals out.
I think I hit my step target except one day and I say think as I had let my Fitbit run out of charge without realising and missed a day and a half of steps logging. It's amazing how much this annoyed me as my track record now doesn't look so good!
Targets this week -
7 hours sleep every night
2 litres of water per day
No chocolate all week
2 sessions of working out to my DVD as well as Fit Club
I'm looking forward to another good week ahead and I hope you are too. Wishing you all the best, Mich x
How to Join in Slimming Sunday is a weekly linky hosted by Mich at Mummy from the Heart and Emma at Life According to Mrs Shilts. The posts go live at 7am every Sunday morning and you are most welcome to join in with any slimming/ weight loss/ exercise/ healthy recipe type post. Join as little or as often as you like. No pressure! 1) Write or link up an existing post about diet/ slimming/ healthy eating/ exercise or anything related to these topics. By linking up you'll receive a weekly email reminder about Slimming Sunday, of course there will be an unsubscribe button on every email so you can opt out any time but lots of people have been asking me for a reminder.
2) Grab the badge or add a text link to either Emma or I (or both if you are feeling super generous)
3) Go share the love. Please comment on both Emma and my posts and also at least one other but it would be great if you feel you could comment on a few more. I'm sure you'll feel the love back if you do.
Emma and I will come and visit you too and tweet out your links. Feel free to tag us with #SlimmingSunday, @michelletwinmum and @mrsshilts and we'll give you an RT.
I can't wait to read your post. Have a fabulous week, Mich x
If you like what you have read and want to stay up-to-date then subscribe by email for free and receive blog posts directly to your in-box - just click the link Subscribe to Mummy From The Heart... by Emailor perhaps you like to keep all your blog reading in one place, if that is the case you can follow me on BlogLovin too!
If you are on the Slimming World plan you'll know that it is all about the free food and syns. The average person can have between 5 - 15 syns a day but someone larger like me gets 20, although of course it is better to not have so many and then you can see great weight loss results.
I find that my real struggle time is the evening and as such, I always try to plan in a yummy treat for the evening and use my syns for it. I often don't want to use that many though as I need them throughout the day for things like my milk in tea, butter on my toast or ryvita, sauces, gravy or a little treat.
So here are 10 low syn treats that keep me motivated and wanting to lose weight but without feeling like I am missing out - 1. Quark and highlight with mini marshmallows (4 syns)
This is probably my favourite evening treat as it is sweet, creamy and filling. I use half a tub of fat-free quark and mix it with a highlight or Options chocolate powder sachet (1.5-2 syns it varies for which one you use, so check), it mixes really well and is like a chocolate cheesecake.
I also like to add 10g of mini marshmallows on the top for extra sweetness and indulgence. You can see you get around 30 mini marshmallows for the 10g (you get 25g for 4 syns, so I class these as 2 syns).
I also have a friend who likes to turn this into a cheesecake and she has a crushed light digestive biscuit (3 syns) at the bottom and instead of the marshmallows she has raspberries ad a drizzle of choc shot (1/2 for a level tsp). Add on the chocolate powder and that makes a 5.5 syn dessert.
2. Raspberry Jelly/ mouse (1/2 syn per dish)
With this one you make up some sugar free jelly (I used raspberry - 2 syns for whole packet, so all 4 desserts shown here), add in a pot of mullerlight (I used vanilla) and some fruit for speed and allow it to set. Bets eaten on the day it is made I find but it does take about 4 or 5 hours to set properly.
Planning for food for the week is key to my successful weight loss
Welcome. It's so great to see you here for the first post in the #SlimmingSunday series. Emma at Life according to Mrs Shilts and I will be hosting this new linky each week and we'd love for you to join in.
Emma is a bit of a pro at Slimming World and has been following the plan for as long as I've known her (that must be at least 6 years or maybe more) and I highly recommend this great post if you are starting out on a Slimming World weight loss journey.
I am currently on Slimming World but I've tried out most diets and also Overeaters Anon for a few years as my weight is a lifelong battle and I've written about it quite extensively. As a Christian, I suffer with guilt for being this big (I need to lose around 8 stone) as I know I am abusing the body that God gave me and also I end up feeling bad that I turn to food for comfort rather than turning to God. So that's what I am doing right now, working on freeing myself from this guilt as that isn't God's plan for me.
I'm doing a 'Living Free' course at the moment, designed to help me live in the freedom that God gives me and I am making headway in learning that I am enough just as I am, I am loveable, I am unique, I am accepted and I am free to be who I was designed to be.
I started out well in January and lost half a stone but if I am really honest my food has been a struggle the last few weeks and I feel a bit of a fraud starting this linky but Emma and I have been planning it for a while and to be frank I think it is just what I need to get to motivated again. I'm not going to want to report in once a week to you all without some good news now, am I?
My FitBit has been dug out and I've been taking part in a few friendly challenges and moving much more. I really can't wait for the nicer weather to be here so I actually want to go out for very long walks. My step total for last week was 74,517 and I'm fine with that as it averaged over the 10K a day they recommend.
What I've learnt this week
I have to meal plan and stick to it, it is not enough to just hope!
That I must not buy foods that tempt me and have them in the house
Not to go off the grid. I need to keep chatting daily with my SW friends and logging my foods and taking pictures. Accountability really works.
Successes for this week
Moving more and being committed to wearing my FitBit even when my food hasn't been great
Spending lots of time with God and really working on loving and forgiving myself: Dumping the guilt!
Focus areas for the coming week
Drink a large glass of water before every meal (I've done this before and it helped curb me overeating)
Plan out my food for the week and stick to it. The online shop has already been ordered.
A strict week on plan, keeping a very close eye on my syns. Record everything super accurately
Results
This weeks result - 0.5 lbs, which is OK as I didn't really care for myself at all last week food wise
Weight loss to date in 2017 - 4.5 lbs
Starting BMI - 44.5 Current BMI - 43.6
Goals
Gain my half a stone award next Saturday (so that means losing 2.5 lbs)
2 stone loss by end of May for my Spain holiday
2.5 stone loss by 22nd July for my Bournemouth Holiday
3 stone loss by 15th August for my birthday
5 stone loss by the end of the year (that feels very exciting typing that!)
How to Join in
1) Write or link up an existing post about diet/ slimming/ healthy eating/ exercise or anything related to these topics
2) Grab the badge or add text link to either Emma or I (or both if you are feeling super generous)
3) Go share the love. Please comment on both Emma and My posts and also at least one other but it would be great if you feel you could comment on a few more.
Emma and I will come and visit you too and tweet out your links. Feel free to tag us in with @michelletwinmum and @mrsshilts and we'll give you an RT.
I can't wait to read your post. Have a fabulous week, Mich x
If you like what you have read and want to stay up-to-date then subscribe by email for free and receive blog posts directly to your in-box - just click the link Subscribe to Mummy From The Heart... by Emailor perhaps you like to keep all your blog reading in one place, if that is the case you can follow me on BlogLovin too!
Hey friends, it is week 2 on my Slimming World Journey and it has been a bit of an odd week. My usual weigh in day is Saturday and I should have been weighing today but I'm volunteering at the night shelter and then doing a first aid course so I couldn't go. This meant I had to weigh at the other class which is a Tuesday evening, rather than my Saturday first thing and I was a tad sad to see the scales said I'd put on a pound.
I'm not sure what made it say that but I had been being good and my perseverance will pay off, it can't not! So I am putting ti down to an evening as adverse to a morning weigh-in and that you can't really accurately judge anything after just 3 days. I have to weight in again this coming Tuesday as we are away next weekend so that will be a truer reading.
I'll be honest with you, I haven't found it massively easy to stay on track. Thee is just so much I enjoy and want to eat but I know I have made such progress, so it is good and I'll keep at it.
Last Saturday morning I joint Slimming World, it isn't the first time but I am determined it will be the last as I am going to lose weight this time (even if it takes me a decade) and keep on going to ensure I stay slimmer and healthy.
I'm not kidding myself that this will be easy but I genuinely believe that Slimming World is the best plan to follow. Once you have learnt what to do the plan is simple, no food is banned and you can literally stuff your face if that is what makes you happy - but of course it has to be the right foods. The ones that give life, rather than the fatty, sugary rubbish that steal it.
If you want to know all about the Slimming World way, then check out their website as they'll explain it better than I ever can and no this post is not sponsored in any way, I am paying for my classes and there independently.
I thought it would be helpful for anyone considering this journey or just starting it like me to see what I ave learnt in my first week on the Slimming World plan.
1. You need to make time to get to know the plan
It is different nowadays, I recall going to a class back in the 1990's and it was all about red and green days and I hated the idea that I couldn't have carbs and protein together. Forget anything you ever heard and investigate it yourself.
Once you join, your leader will give you an introduction to the plan and you'll have plenty of material to take home to read and digest. Make sure you do this the same day - read it, highlight it, keep referring to it and in the end live it. I friends now that are four or five years post weight loss via the Slimming World way and it is all in their head as a healthy guidance plan for life now and that is why they are staying slim and healthy.
Happy Thursday Fiends, I hope you are well. Welcome to this weeks edition of Reasons to be Cheerful.
I have a very busy day today but I am loving Thursdays at the moment.
1. First off I have my coaching session with a little boy that I am meeting once a week for a year and it is a real joy getting to know him. I'm praying that I'm able to make a difference in his life and to help him enjoy school more. Check out the charity TLG if you are interested to volunteer to do the same they run this service in schools all across the country.
2. Then straight after I head off to my coached run, where I will be put through my paces by the lovely Jax. Running isn't at all what I would choose to do but I have to do some exercise and this is as good as anything. It also helps that it is funded and fun. I definitely want to give a shout out to Jax's blog Walk2Run as it is really inspirational and if you are local to Bexhill/ Hastings then you must come and join one of her fun walks or coached sessions, she is ace.
3. I've then got a delivery to make and a quick rush home for a shower and lunch before being at the girls school for their parents evening at 2.30pm. I'm praying that this goes well as I need to speak to the teacher about Miss E as she is already getting really concerned about her year six SATS. I'm not sure if I need to push for another formal dyslexia assessment or not.
4. We are then off to JJ's school for a special awards ceremony where he will receive a prize for work of excellence in IT last year. He is very chuffed and I am super proud. This is the boy that we all wondered whether he would be able to settle into school or if it would always be a struggle for him.
Then once that is done, it is home for dinner and relax......
As I drove home today from the running club that I have joined I was pondering this post and the title ‘guilty of neglect’ kept coming to mind but thankfully I captured that thought and quashed it, because how useful is it to focus on the negatives? Yes I am very guilty of neglect, I am 43 years old and if I went through one of those bone scanners and full health checks I am pretty sure they would say the age of my body is about 63 or maybe even 83 years old. I already have arthritis in my knees, one of my ankles is dodgy, my calves hurt if I move too fast, the under pads of my feet hurt when I exercise, I suffer with chronic periods and I get breathless in no time at all.
But, I don’t want to focus on that bad stuff. Today was a successful day, I made a commitment to join a local running club hosted by an inspirational woman from my church and after finishing my TLG coachingfollow this morning I left the school and headed to my car in the pouring rain. As I walked up the hill, my feet and calves hurt and I felt very short of breath. “What are you letting yourself in for Mich, best not to go running in this weather, you’ll hurt yourself and with the size of you, break something. You’re not cut out for this kind of exercise. Just go home” was the internal dialogue running through my head. Thank God the angel on my shoulder was egging me to go along and just give it a try.
The last thing I wanted to do was run, especially down on the St Leonards-on-Sea prom as the wind and rain lashed but I had made a commitment to be there and having already done one session with Jax before I knew she would spur me on and you know what? I enjoyed it. It was fun to walk, jog, huff and puff in the rain. I went the shortest distance, I went at the slowest pace, I was the biggest there by far but they were a fab group and I learnt new things and now I am sat on the sofa aching but that is OK as I’ve had a healthy lunch and resisted the snacks and I am going to keep going.
Back in the days when I went to Overeaters Anonymous follow(yes it is just like AA but for food addicts), they taught us that we have to stay in the moment. When we are walking away from our addiction and fighting the devil on our shoulder we must do it one day at a time, or if this is too hard, then literally one moment at a time and that is where I am today, fighting for every moment, to stay abstinent from the destructive act of overeating.
I can make changes and if I do then my body will change too, I just have to be ready and I AM ready. Who knows if I’ll be able to travel the whole journey this time, there is a very long way until a healthy BMI but I think what I am realising is that small steps or some steps are better than none at all. I can’t sit still (both figuratively and actually) I have to be brave and make changes. I’m not even sure what it is that I fear, that keeps me locked in this fat body and not taking the steps I need but no more, I’m going to be a big girl and face it.
I’m facing up to the fact that I am unhealthy and putting my life at risk
I’m facing up to the fact that I set a bad example for my kids
I’m taking the bull by the horns and starting to exercise regularly, even though it hurts me
I’m taking steps to eat better and consciously
I’ve got a kick-ass accountability partner
I’m relying on God, because I can’t do this alone. This problem I have had for so many years is far bigger than me but it is time that it was dealt with. So here I am on day one and I am pleased to say I’ve made a start…
Come on girl, we have had this conversation so many times. You have to change, you must eat differently. I know it sounds dramatic but you are slowly killing yourself. Do you get that? Killing yourself. Yes that is what I said and you need to take notice. It is not good to be your size.
Why do you think your knee joints hurt and when you get up after a couple of hours on the sofa you can hardly move? It is not normal for someone of 42 to move about like they are 82. It will be the excess 8 stone you are carrying. That is, after all, the weight of a small woman.
There are so many routes available to you and frankly it does not matter which way you go but you just need to do something and dramatically cutting down on what you eat (particularly the junk) will make a really good start.
Stop being so busy with everything else please and just get to it. Carve some time out and give yourself space to exercise, sleep enough, drink more water and eat healthier.
You are worth it Mich, you need to start treasuring yourself in the same way you do others.
From your exasperated self
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I made this blouse for myself in 2014 and I've never worn it as it is too tight!
OK, so I've made the decision 2015 will be the year that I get fit and free myself. I will become fit for purpose and be ready and waiting for whatever is planned for me.
It is not enough to just sit back and say this will happen though. I need to make plans and plot some practical steps that will allow me to achieve my goal.
I was asked this question a couple of weeks ago and I think it is a very pertinent one and it has certainly been useful. I have found myself many times in the last few weeks pondering - what now?
The quick and simple answer is that I have no idea. I do not know what the future holds or what I am supposed to be doing. All will be revealed in God's good timing and I must have patience to wait and see.
That is pretty frustrating though, as of course I want to make things happen, to change the world and to stop injustice. I want to jump on it and make it happen now, not tomorrow, not next month and certainly not in five years time. I see what others are doing and my actions feel inadequate but we are not supposed to compare ourselves to others, that helps no-one. We must just follow our own personal path.
I've mentioned many times that I do not like resolutions as I feel they are made to be broken but I do see the value in setting goals and having forward vision. To some extent it is difficult to set long-term goals as I truly want to be open to what God has in store for me and I don't want to be too busy off on a tangent that is not part of his plan.
