Permission for leave granted

Hey blog,

It is Mich here, did I tell you I put in a request for a few weeks leave? I'm feeling a bit weathered and there is lots on my mind, so I'm going to take some time to set my priorities in order, to rest in God's loving care, be with my family, go to the gym and to have some fun.

I explained here that I need to remember who I am and to find out what it is I'm scared of.  Those chains I mentioned that needed breaking, Yep I'm gonna have a go at that as well.  It takes quite a lot of energy so I've given myself permission to be absent from the blog for a while, probably around the same time as Advent, which is perfect as it means I will focus on what should be the number one priority in my life and that is my relationship with God. I've been sad to realise this has been siding down my to-do list recently.

You know me, I find it hard to keep away, so the odd post might pop up as I'll of course fulfil all obligations that I had committed to, but in the main there will just be some silence over here or maybe some pretty pictures, we'll see how this pans out.

I'll miss you, but I know I'll get over it (in the nicest way), I always do when I have a bloggy break. Then I come back raring to go and full of beans ready to capture the world!

Love, Mich xx


You see this picture of the sea, I'm right at the foot of the picture at the moment, just pondering how I will navigate my way across that first stretch of water to reach the land you can see beyond. When I reach that land I'll be back and ready for the next chapter and diving into the big deep blue sea beyond. I'm not feeling scared, God is with me.

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One afternoon in Georgetown, DC

I'm sat here in my hotel room and it is my last morning in Washington DC and I feel like the luckiest girl alive. I'm heading home to my wonderful family and about to spend time with them all in glorious Jersey but I just thought I'd share what Georgetown, a historic superb of Washington DC looks like in the fall, or should I say Autumn? I am British after all.

I had planned to do a spot of shopping, get some food and maybe try out the cinema alone on my last evening in DC but then by chance I met the lovely Kristi York Wooten and she said lets team up and have a shop. I'm so glad she is the super friendly Southern type as we had a fantastic but chilled afternoon and then a very posh meal out in the evening. It was a perfect end to my first USA visit, thank you Kristi.

Actually that last one is not in Georgetown, that is Dupont Circle on the walk back to our hotel. A perfect afternoon of just gently moseying around.

Have a blessed weekend, Mich x

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Valuing being home

This is how I now feel. I can jump for joy at accepting I'm supposed to be at home right now

I love having some time to myself during the week when the kids are at school. I never realised before how little time I had to think, life was so busy that I dashed from one thing to the next and never allowed myself the freedom to ponder, to imagine and to create new possibilities. I just accepted the first thought that popped into my head and went with it, but not anymore. Now I question myself and explore all possibilities and often come to completely new conclusions. It really is a revelation to me.

Over the last year I have been having a guilt battle in my own head. On the one hand I know how busy I am and I know that I don't sit around and watch daytime telly, I'm not a lazy kind of woman. Then on the other hand I question the value there is in what I currently do. Surely when I worked outside the home I was creating more value? Adding more money to our household account? being a better example to our kids?  But no to all of those things.

Today I was able to go for an open morning at the secondary school that JJ wants to attend, this week I can do both school drops and collects for mine and a friends kids as she is recovering from an operation, today I sat for over an hour at the table with the girls and we did maths homework and we laughed and they learnt. Also today I cooked a really tasty meal from scratch and it was ready for 5.30pm when dh got home from work so he could eat quickly and head straight out to lead cubs.

There is value in what I'm doing and I need to believe it and embrace it. If I want to sit down and read my book or watch TV for an hour then I should do it without any guilt. When did I ever feel guilty taking a lunch break at work? Never, I felt like I earned it. But I earn a break here too, the washing is up to date, the ironing done, the shopping put away, the dinner cooked and the dishes washed, the floor swept and hoovered, the beds changed and all those little things like remembering birthdays and booking holidays, yes I do those and keep this household running smoothly.

I also earn money, nowhere near what I used to earn but nowadays I can read each day with Miss E and help her with her struggles. I can chat to Miss M when she tells me the woes from her day at school and I can have a cuppa with JJ and laugh at his crazy jokes. How important is it that I connect with these little people every day?  Beyond important, it is imperative.

I enjoy my new way of life, I've got into a good rhythm and what might seem mundane to some is enjoyable and relaxing for me. When dh says to me on an evening what are you doing tomorrow, I need to hold my head high and believe I'm doing something important that adds value to our lives.

I'm making our home.

I'm nurturing our kids.

I'm stretching my artistic talent.

I'm writing to change the world.

I'm spending time with God and

I'm learning who Michelle is and what really means something to her.


This journey of discovery is good, not without its scary bits and you have to be willing to face some fears but I'd definitely recommend it.

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A year in photos - Weeks 37 - 39

Hello all, I hope you are well as you read this post. Life is good here, I'm feeling immensely grateful for time with my parents and aunt a couple of weeks ago, the kids settling back in at school and new volunteering projects. Oh yes and it is under a month until I head off to America, that is of course very exciting and I've bagged a few bargain clothes to take with me!

I've been surprised just how much has gone on over the last couple of weeks as I looked back at my photos.

Apple picking here and now the apples are off being made into Ashburnham apple juice.

I know you must be bored of it by now,but I never tire of living here and I'm so grateful for the joy that Gods precious creation brings me.

Some friends had their children dedicated here and the kids all played afterwards. All of mine love the large hula hoop!

Bexhill beach on one of the amazing days we have had recently, I was feeling all patriotic with the flag!

The sunsets have been just wonderful recently. This is the view from my door and it looks this good most days.

We took a trip to Scotney Castle, which is a National Trust site and had a good few hours there. I really liked this simple white flower that I captured.

And a great photo of my mum with my kids.

Each month we have a special get together for all the kids to enjoy Jesus and each other. This picture captured Miss M's more nurturing side, which is not always evident.

A good iPhone snap taken on Birling Gap beach when we took some volunteers there last weekend.

Another sunset but this one was captured in Bexhill, when about 70 of us descended onto the beach for a fish and chip supper. Of course the girls had a dip in the sea too.

And that's it for another week. This is such a great linky for making you stop and look at what you have done and reflect on just how lucky you are. 

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A year in photos (week 31 - 36)

I don't know where the time is going this year but it is just flying by.  It has been an age since I properly joined in with the weekly photo linky, so I thought I better get caught up and then I'm at least in with a chance of getting back on track and completing this year.

I can't possibly show all the photos I want to, so I'll just pick a few from the summer.

Here is Miss E sitting in Bournemouth Gardens, we had a great evening with my brother just wandering around and enjoying hot doughnuts. Just look at her face such joy, this is the kind of photo I need to look at when I need cheering up.

On the same holiday we visited Kingston Lacy and had a great day with my parents.

This is my home, I'll never ever tire of this view.

There was some wonderful opportunities to moon and star spot over the summer, real clear skies -

We had a lovely time in London to celebrate my birthday.

And wonderful beach days at Bexhill on Sea

Then we went away and celebrated dh's birthday at the zoo. The highlight of the day for dh and JJ was hand feeding the lorikeets.

We then spend a few days at Potters Resort in Norfolk and Miss M showed her confidence by going up on the main stage two nights in a row, one night to sing a solo. You'll also see Miss E in the background too as she went up there too and chatted to the host.

On the way back we stopped in Herts and visited the Warner Bros. studio tour. Recognise this house?

And I've had a look through Septembers photos so far and I have to say it is a poor show. I've not taken anything good in the last couple of weeks, I need to sort that out!

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What do I do to make him feel loved?

I was over at Veriily Victoria Vocalises the other day reading a crowd sourced post that Vic had written called 'The Things we do for love'. It was about the great things that partners and husbands do for some female bloggers and these things ranged from morning cups of tea to buying a diamond a year.

I started to wonder what my husband did for me and before I could get too far in my thought process I caught myself and turned the question around. What do I do for my husband? What are the little things that let him know that I love him? That he is my one and only?

It would have been far too easy to get caught up with the green eyed monster and to start to feel gloomy that he does not buy me a diamond a year and yes, I do have a real penchant for diamonds. Before kids he bought me lots of them, after kids not so much so. Or I could have felt disgruntled that he does not rub my feet or buy me flowers every week but then I have to stop and ask myself do I want those things?  No being the answer, they are not the love gestures that would make a difference for me.

So back to the question I posed for myself, what do I do to make him feel loved? and you know what I'm struggling with this.  Firstly I'm struggling as after twenty years I'm not that sure what it is that makes him feel loved.  Recently I did the free online love languages test and it showed that the ways I feel love most are physical touch and then words of affirmation and quality time in equal measure. It is funny as I had assumed that the things that might talk love to me were dh giving me gifts or perhaps when he is helpful around the house but as I read my profile I really recognised myself and knew it was true. I've therefore realised that I need to get my husband to do this test so that I can find out exactly what ways I need to show him my love.

Most things I do, I do with a smile because I love my family. I like to keep a nice house, I try to cook vegetarian meals my husband will like when no-one else in the family is veggie, I arrange date nights so we can go out together and I make sure we function as a family with lots of fun time out together. I'd like to tell you I tell him I love him regularly or that I grab him for impromptu hugs but actually I've slipped on those fronts in recent times and I have to pray that gifts is not his primary love language as I rarely buy him anything as he is that guy that wants nothing.

So thinking this through and writing this post has really bought to my attention that I need to mend my ways and take more time and care to show my husband just how much he means to me. I got told recently that if you want a good friend you need to be a good friend first and this has to surely be the same in your relationship too.

It is time for me to stop taking my relationship for granted and to start upping my game. I think we need a date night this week and I better find out what he wants from me.

Come on ladies, share with me, what do you do for your partner? I need some ideas to get me going.....

Thanks, Mich x

A state of discontent #Prose4T

Life is good
How much more blessed could I be?
The move went well, the kids are happy, the husband too
Yet there is this unease
It's not right, something is up
What is it?

It feels so love-hate right now

I can't be arsed with you

But I can't keep away from you

You are like a drug, giving me highs
Stealing my time and offering little reward

You draw me in and then make me feel sad

Those feelings of inadequacy

That self-doubt that rears it's head

And I wonder what is wrong?

What is creating this unease, this imbalance?

Something needs to change

It is time to stop

To stop and take account

Where should I go?

What should I do?

My priorities need a good shake-up
A break might help
Can the answer really be so simple
Yet so darn difficult?

I know I need guidance
Lead me Lord
Hear my prayers

I'm taking the opportunity this week to link up with Vic over at Verily Victoria Vocalises for her #Prose4T link up. I don't really get involved with writing poetry or prose very often at all and I think a lot of that is down to being embarrassed of not having much skill in this area but today I feel like it and it is my blog and that is the way it goes!

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So much to see - if you just look....

A few weeks back I read a post over on Liska's blog and she really inspired me. She had posted a picture of her beloved Aaron and then described all the things she could see in that photo and it really got me thinking about how often I really look at photos in detail.  I don't is the answer.

Then yesterday I was looking through some photos from our recent New Forest holiday and I came across the one above and I really looked at it for quite some time and was amazed at what I saw. Yes on the surface it is 3 kids on a stony beach but when you look closer and know those three kids, you see also -

*  Miss E who has changed and grown in confidence, this little girl is happy to run to the sea with gusto and get her shoes wet. As she turns, smiles and shouts 'Mummy come and see' I realise my baby is no longer a baby but still she wants me involved in everything she does. I'm her best friend she tells me and we will live together forever. I doubt it but its nice to feel so loved.

*  Miss M who is maturing beyond her years. She is learning caution, empathy and self-control. This little girl is starting to like the rewards of good behaviour and is enjoying playing the role of the good girl but still she struggles with her natural exuberance, the desire to do it first and to be liked. My tall and lean little lady who loves to move, dance and jump about - there is something active she will really excel at but we are yet to find it.

*  JJ as he lags behind and keeps an eye on his girls, happy to go up and join them to show them how stone skimming is done. 'Keep back' he calls, conscious of his role as the big brother, the protector. My little boy is no longer so little and he is maturing into a young man that I find I really like, someone who is good to chat to and is very helpful. he takes his responsibilities seriously and I glimpse the man he will one day be, someone like his daddy, someone who won't let you down.

I'm linking this post up with Katie over at Mummy, Daddy, Me and her new Ordinary Moments linky.

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