Sunday 21 July 2013

I see the best of you and the worst of me...

I received  a PR pitch today, nothing new about that in itself, I receive a couple of dozen every day, what struck me about this one was that the person said that they were enjoying seeing the pictures of my new home in the country and it was apparent I was living an idyllic, near perfect life.

This concerned me somewhat as I have always prided myself on being an honest blogger, one who tells it as it is. I blog about all things in my life not just the great things, I talk about when it all goes wrong, when I'm frustrated, when I'm distraught and of course when life is full of joy. I do choose to take a positive stance on life even when faced with challenges but I hope that does not come across as smug or as if everything is rosy in my life and I am one of those people who really do live a near perfect life. What do you think?

I suppose the trouble comes when someone dips into your blog and reads just the last few posts and all they see is your current situation. When you take small portions of anyone's life you never get the full picture, there is always more going on and more layers than you can imagine. It is a good reminder for me that we must be careful not to compare ourselves to others, as what we nearly always see is a snapshot of their best, that one point in time when things look perfect. There are some blogs I visit and I see their house and think wow it is immaculate, I'd love mine to look like that or I drool over the dinner they have made and wish I could cook fancy too. Then I realise it might just be 'their best' and not 'their norm' they are sharing.

Take for example, when I share a nice picture on here of my family, it generally looks good but behind it were the 10 shots that I took when no-one looked in the right direction, JJ thumped Miss M or whatever else happened. By not sharing it I'm not pretending it does not happen, there is just a small space to share what I wish to and thus the best ones make the cut. But I really do hope you know the back story and realise that this blog is the story of a very real and imperfect family.

The situation then gets more complex as what people generally do when making comparisons to others is think about their worst. So instead of seeing us on an even footing and knowing that both you and I have good and bad days, we start to think that your days are always good and mine are always rubbish and therefore your life is more idyllic and perfect than mine and I'm just a big fat failure.  Whoa, all perspective has been lost at this point and I'm fighting a losing battle to stay in a good mood.

It is so important for me to remember and for you to see, there are things I'm good at, others I'm really at crap at and some just in between and I do OK - that's life!

Do you ever find yourself looking at other people/ blogs and getting down when you see what they are up to, how wonderful their kids are, what superb dress sense they have etc etc?  Let's just dump that envy and remember to want what we already have and to be sincerely grateful for what we have been given.

Life is so much better when you are content and that might just be what people see on my blog, rather than a perfect, idyllic life.

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