Life's Changed: Reasons to be Cheerful

Hey friends, I hope you're well? It's been a long time since we caught up as life is changing for me and I just don't find the time or the enthusiasm to sit down and blog in the way I used to. I supposed it is to be expected. I wrote my first blog post in May 2008 and it is now April 2022, fourteen years later. That's a long time to keep a hobby going.

In truth, my hobby turned into a job. One that was convenient and allowed me to be available for my family and to do lots of volunteering, whilst earning some money. But I never loved it. Being self-employed and blogging has never given me the satisfaction of previous jobs, where I felt needed and fully immersed. 

I'm so glad to say that I'm back in a job like that, well more correctly, God has revealed to me it is a ministry rather than a job, as it is His work I am doing and His will I'm following. Back in January, I was appointed as the Project Manager for the Bexhill and Battle foodbanks and as the first paid member of staff for Churches Together in Bexhill I knew it would hold some challenges but since I started on March 1st I have fallen in love with my role, with my team, with my clients, with all the possibilities for a better future service, for serving Jesus in a way that is really needed.

I'm away at Spring Harvest at the moment, the Christian conference that I have gone to most every since (excepting Covid) since around 2005. This has been the best time for me, as God has revealed so much about the future and how I should manage and take forward the foodbanks. I now have a guiding bible verse and ideas for the future. Where I saw blockers before, I now see opportunities in His perfect timing. 

Finally on the Path to being Fit and Free

I’ve been seeking fitness and freedom for quite some years now. Back at the beginning of 2015, I started to use the hashtag #FitandFree because that was my aim for the year. I thought I was finally going to conquer my weight demons and manage to lose lots of weight, however, it didn’t happen and yet again I became demotivated and remained unhappy in my body.

A 35 Year Journey

My issues with my weight started when I was about 13, or that was when I became aware that I had a problem that I felt needed solving. I remember going to the doctor for help and he told me to write a food diary and then halve it. That was the start of a very painful and prolonged journey of self-hate for the last 35 years. I look back now and I wasn’t even particularly big, yes, a little bigger than some classmates, but absolutely fine.

By the time I left secondary school, I had lost some weight (through attending Weight Watchers classes with my mum) and I was around a size 12/14 I thought I looked amazing and I felt amazing but soon some weight went back on and the first suit I bought at age 16 was a size 16. By the time I headed to University at 18, I was a size 18 and I can remember that I thought that was the most humongous and gross size there ever was, I even cut the labels out of my clothes as I was so ashamed and didn’t want my new friends to know. Little did I know what was to come.

How I'd love those 18-year-old curves again

Even at university when I should have been focusing on studying and enjoying my life as a young adult I can remember going to various weight lossfollowclubs to try and shift some weight, so I could feel ‘normal’, the same as everyone else. Counting calories, recording food, drinking grapefruit juice before I ate, stepping on the scales, checking out food plan points – it was like an obsession.

By age 21 I was down to a size 16 when I met my now-husband and between then and getting married at age 28, I headed upwards to a size 20/22. When you are young you think you have years ahead to ‘sort yourself out’ and I recall weight loss being fairly easy. Cut back and restrict calories and then I could drop 1/2 stone in a week. I look back now and wonder why I never carried through and got to a healthy weight, but I was carrying so much emotional baggage and every time it threatened to resurface, I’d eat and stuff it back down and that sense of shame would grow a little stronger.

Food – my False Idol

The rejection I felt as a child carried through and was reinforced by new situations that life threw at me and I had no resilience and no idea of how to deal with my emotions or these situations. So I ate, as food always comforted me, it never let me down and it was a wonderful smokescreen to stop me from looking too in-depth at where things were going wrong.

I can’t reveal too much as so much of what happened to me isn’t just my story and thus I can’t break confidence but I am so glad I found Jesus. That is what has saved me. Having a personal and loving relationship with God is what makes a difference in my everyday life. It is what sustains me and keeps me going. Reading that, you’d be forgiven for thinking that I have lost several stones of weight and that I am now considered a healthy weight, but no, alas I am still morbidly obese.

On my wedding day in my size 22 dress

However, I don’t have to be at my target weight (I don’t actually have a target weight) to be saved, to find success in my journey. Jesus has redeemed me and I have learnt to accept (moving the knowledge from my head to my heart) that He adores me and He won’t love me anymore when I am eight stone lighter. He also wouldn’t love me any less if I got eight stone heavier.

In the two decades that I have known Jesus and accepted Him as the Lord and Saviour of my life, He has been working on me and I have had a desire to work for Him. I had no clear picture of what that meant, but He has been revealing snippets to me as the years have gone past. When our family moved to East Sussex in the summer of 2013 I had a clear understanding that God wanted me to slow down and just be for a bitfollow. I heard the phrase ‘fit for purpose’ and I believe that it was from God. For quite some years I took that phrase to mean that I needed to lose weight to address health issues and then He could use me. I berated myself each time a diet failed or I got demotivated and stopped going to the gym. Since living here I have started Slimming World around five times and been a member of different gyms on at least six occasions. I’ve also attended a fitness club and tried to do the Couch to 5K. I’m not being a defeatist when I say that all of these attempts failed.

Only God can Work a Miracle

Why did they fail? I think, probably, because I was trying to win in my own steed. A few years back I realised I needed to submit my food and more importantly my fears to God, so He could work on me to help me. But then I continued to battle and kept taking back all the things I had left at the foot of the cross and I made them all my problem again. Fearful that I’d be hungry, fearful of the saggy skin I thought I’d be left with, fearful of intimacy issues, fearful of missing out and fearful of the opportunities that may come my way if I was slimmer and healthier and able to do anything I pleased as my body could take the strain.

“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Isaiah 40:31

But fear can not enter where there is faith. So, I’ve been working on my relationship with Jesus and developing that faith. I’m very proud of the hard work I have put into this process. The determination and dedication I have shown to becoming a better person, to healing my emotional issues and to being available for God has been immense. It hasn’t always been easy but I am so happy to have been through the fiery furnace and to now see my character more in line with Jesus. Of course, there is work still to be done, we’re never quite the finished project but I feel as if I have made leaps and bounds forward and that is thanks to God.

Handing over my Fears & Relying on Him

So, now, at last, I feel able to be brave and to hand any final fears over to God as I exercise my faith and start to cut back on what I eat. I don’t need to overindulgence and overcompensate for unhappiness elsewhere in my life, I am ready to fully submit and to change; to be who Christ truly wants me to be.

I am very much looking forward to starting my new job in March at least 3kg lighter and then going on holiday in October with my family and being 25kg down. That means losing 2.5Kg each month for the next 10 months, which is about 5lb a month so hopefully attainable.

Earlier today I was thinking about hope, as well as faith and being reminded that I don’t have to despair of this weight loss journey that has taken 35 years so far. There is no need for me to be exasperated with myself and to assume I’ll give up or fail, just because I have before. I now have the hope of Jesus and I need to allow Him to sustain me. The only stiving I must do is in my pursuit of Him and my relationship with Him.

Jesus has restored and redeemed me. I learned on my bible study course this morning that Jesus moved women from shame to honour and that is what He has done for me. Thank you, Jesus, that by Your blood I am saved and I can live another day to serve You and love You. Amen.

Looking Forward to December 2022

After spending quite some time in the last week reflecting on how things have changed in 2021 and how I have grown and matured, it’s now time to look forward. In one of my many recent emails, I was asked the questions –

Where do I want to be in December 2022?

What would I like to have achieved?

So, that got me thinking and of course, praying, about what my future might hold and I figured it’s no bad thing to visualise how things might look for me in a year's time. After 2021 being such a great year of spiritual growth I don’t want to rest on my laurels. I need to keep pressing on and making myself available to deepen my relationship with God and do His will. The first few things I come up with are –

• Be working in a job that fulfills me and makes a difference to others
• Have made my health a priority and lost some weight so I can move better and hurt less
• JJ settled at University and happy in his studies
• My girls feeling prepared to undertake their GCSE exams

This first part above I started to write in the first week of January and now it is 22nd January and I am already some way towards achieving the first one as I got a new job last week. I’m going to be the Food Bank Project Manager in the town where I go to church and it needs a complete overhaul, so this will be an exciting (and slightly scary) challenge, but I feel equipped to do it as I know it is God who placed it in front of me.

Other items that I’d add to my visualisation of how I’d like December 2022 to look, include –

• Adam being in a job that challenges and fulfills him, one where he doesn’t feel exasperated most days
• Us all being settled in our home, feeling safe and comfortable
• The whole family continues to be a part of our church family, fully involved in many aspects of serving
• My girls having great friends, that they can rely on and trust. Ones who are good influences on them
• Family life at home being more collaborative, with everyone helping with the chores and cooking as I’ll be working more
• All of my family is well in both physical and mental health

And that’s it really. I don’t know if I’m just a simple woman or if I have low expectations but I am content with what I have in the main and I think that is a very precious gift. Thank you Jesus for all you give me and the way you are a constant in my life. I am so glad I have you to go through this life journey with. I honestly don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have you to turn to and rely on every single day. Amen

2021 – What a Year! Thank you, Jesus

Most years I write a round-up blog post of what’s gone on that year and I might look at my goals, achievements or all the fun experiences I’ve had, but this year, my end-of-year post feels quite different. It is about sharing all the growth that has happened in me during the year and as it’s a very personal post, I have decided to place it on here and resurrect this, my faith-based blog.

As a Christian, I’m not supposed to stand still and end the year the same Michelle as I was at the start of it. I’m supposed to change, grow and become more Christlike as I age and mature. Each of the last nineteen years since I gave my life to Christ I have changed and grown but some years it has been more evident than others. I think the last year has seen the most change and growth since 2013/14 and it feels amazing to know I am becoming more secure in my identity as a beloved child of God.

From Head to Heart

You often hear Christians talk of head knowledge and heart knowledge and by this they mean, that you may have learnt what the bible says and your head understands it as the truth; it’s a very logical and cognitive process, but the heart knowledge is about the relationship with Jesus. It is about the deep and personal knowledge that what the Bible says isn’t just for everyone else, but it is for you. It is intimate when it says

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”  John 3:16 (ESV)  

It really means that God allowed Jesus to go to the cross and die for me. I mean that much to God. And I’ve known this for years, but I admit it, it has been head knowledge. However, this year, I have come to truly believe, with all my heart, that despite my fat, my unforgiveness, my being judgmental at times that He is here for me and meeting me exactly where I am at and that even if I change for the better and stop all my sin, He will love me and accept me no more than He does right now, right this very moment. I am enough.

I want to jump for joy! I have needed this learning for such a long time and it has only come about as I have allowed God to heal me, for the Holy Spirit to work in me and I have submitted to Him. A verse that has been really ministering to me the last few months is “May your unfailing love be my comfort” (Psalm 119:76) and it has been really special to finally understand that others can never give me what I need. I have to go to the source, to God and He will provide all I need.

I want to share in this post everything that has happened this year, but in truth, I can’t actually remember all of it, as there has been so much. I do know that I need to thank Caroline, Krisha and Sheila for the help they have given me to process my hurt, anger and grief about so many things that have happened in my life. These three spiritual women have each challenged and supported me and I’ll be forever grateful.

At the end of last year, I had the picture of a pineapple and I felt called to become sweeter. I took this to mean that I needed to let go of my bitterness and to be more accepting and tolerant of others. I bought a few cheap pineapple items and put them in my home and a keyring in my bag and they have acted as a subliminal reminder. Also, in February I read a book called Sensible Shoes by Sharon Garlough Brown and took an online course about hearing God more clearly, put together by my blogger friend Joanna May Chee.follow These both really fed into the start of a year of pressing into God and wanting to know Him more, on a personal and deep level.

For months and months, I spent time with God most days to just wait on Him and to see if He could help me be set free from some of the blockages I had. I hadn’t cried for a few years and I knew there was something stopping me, but I wasn’t sure what and despite asking the Holy Spirit to guide me and show me, I wasn’t getting any revelation. When I hit a massive blip in my life at the end of September with troubles with one of my daughters and my husband went off for his sabbatical from work, I wasn’t sure what to do. It was as if I had disconnected myself from the situation and could tell the story as if it had happened to someone else. I knew it was a very sad and distressing situation but I couldn’t feel it.

Kingdom Healing Retreat

Fortunately, I saw an advert on Facebook for a healing retreat at the end of November and despite it being a few hundred quid and meaning I had to disappear from family life for five days I just knew it was important that I did. And I’m so glad. The Kingdom Healing Retreat at the Greenhouse Christian Centrenofollow in Poole was led by Dr Angela Walker of THEO ministriesnofollow and I kid you not when I say it was life-changing for me.

I feel like a new person. I lived and learnt so much in those five days I was away. I bawled my eyes out like a baby and proper ugly cried and it felt so good to be set free of the demons that I didn’t even know still possessed me. Who knew that my teachers’ hurtful words when I was around 8 years old, were still torturing me forty years later? And the wonderful thing now, is that I forgive Mrs Muckle, she didn’t know what she was doing. She didn’t intend to harm me, she probably thought she might motivate me to try harder and learn more, but words hurt.

I’ve just got my (very full) notebook out from that retreat and looked at the expectations I wrote for the course and I am pleased to see every one of them was fulfilled. At the end of the course, I wanted to feel again, to be able to cry, to process my past hurts, to know how blessed I am and to know that God loves me without limits. These things are all true. I am a very lucky Michelle.

One of the things I wrote right at the beginning of the course in very big letters was ‘I invite you in Jesus’ and I think I had forgotten that fundamental principle, that God is a gentleman and He will never push Himself upon you, He wants you to invite Him in – be it to your life, the situation, the hurt or whatever.

I learnt lots of new techniques on this course and definitely went deeper into my relationship with God. The first afternoon we had free time and I headed off on my own to spend the afternoon with God crafting. I had a wonderful time being held and adored by my Heavenly Father as I created the cross collage you can see below and I felt all these positive words spoken over me. I am free. I am loved. I am enough. I have a purpose.

As I read back over my notebook there is an overriding message of dumping the fear and living in faith. It’s that old cliché, the Truth will set me free and that’s God’s truth. His word, the bible that communicates to me His overriding love for me. He commands me to keep a short account and to forgive often and keep my spiritual dwelling pure and clean. He wants me to invite His Holy Spirit into my life, and all my daily tasks and problems. This is not a weakness; this is what He has ordained as right. I have learnt I can accept comfort and I can accept help as I am worthy of it.

Knowing I’m More Precious than Rubies

It is good for me to be vulnerable and to take risks. It does not matter if I perceive that others reject me as God never will. I felt a strong sense during one of the sessions that I am ‘beloved, beautiful, His bestie and I belong’. This was very affirming as I looked at the four words and realised, they all started with Be and this reminded me of the lesson I learned back in 2006, that I am a human being and not a human doing. That what God expects from me, is to just be, just as he created me. I don’t have to do anything to earn His love.

During one of the ministry sessions, I felt these verses strongly

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25 (NLT) and “She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.” Proverbs 3.:15 (NIV).

I then had a sense I was supposed to buy myself a new ring, maybe a ruby one, so that each time I looked at it I could be reminded of the Father’s love for me. We talked in the course about a ring signifying belonging and so this felt right. I have now bought myself a ring and it has a dual purpose. I went for a diamond ring, as I am more precious than rubies and the stone that is more precious is a diamond. I also got an eternity ring as this year I’ll celebrate twenty years of marriage to Adam and God has ordained us to be together for eternity, so this is the symbolism of my commitment to my marriage, however tough it may feel.

In this same session, I came to the realisation, with gentle prompting from the Holy Spirit that I had rejected myself. I had ostracised myself and made me the bad guy. Being overweight equalled not worthy. But it is a lie. I know this now. I was believing the Devils lies and allowing him to dictate my path. No more. I belong to God only and I welcome back my rejected self. I am whole again.

Prophetic writing was a skill I practiced whilst on the course and it is something I want to continue in the future as I found it an amazing way to freely hear what God was saying to me. He dictated a beautiful love letter to me, as well as instructing and encouraging me. He was also able to guide me to see pictures of my family and view them just as He sees them. That was a very special gift.

I left Poole with a stronger sense of worth. I now believe that God has a purpose for me and that He wants me to live a full life. Not limiting myself by saying no to things as I am scared I’ll fail or be too fat and make a fool of myself. He says I am beautiful and worthy and He has given me a spirit of Yes. On New Year’s Eve I was reflecting on what my word for the year ahead might be and all that kept coming to mind was ‘yes’ and I wasn’t too sure, but reading back over my notes from this retreat, numerous times I wrote that God had given me a spirit of yes and that this means bravery.

So yes God. I am here and I’m saying yes to all of it. Take me on this crazy journey of life that you have planned for me and I’ll participate and play my part. YES!

 

Reasons to be Cheerful - New Years Eve Edition

Hey friends. It's New Year's Eve and about 8.30pm as I start to craft this post, and this will be the extent of my celebration tonight. Watching TV, crafting blog posts and reflecting back on my year whilst enjoying an espresso martini, that I hope will be OK with the ibuprofen I took earlier as I have a poorly knee. 

I really don't mind that I'm not out partying as it has been the strangest of Christmas times. Covid ripped through the community where I live and by Boxing Day we had around 40 people either positive or isolating. Thank goodness we were closed for business and have around 150 bedrooms, so everyone could safely isolate. It did mean that not many of us were left to hold the fort and to ensure that around 60 people were fed and taken care of.  As always, I'm so proud of each member of my family, who stepped up and did what they could to ensure that even one person's day was a bit brighter than it could have been. 

We're now coming out the other side and the General Directors are back on-site to manage the situation and people are reaching the end of their isolation and testing negative so they can come back to regular life. I have been so astounded and grateful that no one in our family has tested positive, neither by regular LFTs nor by PCR test. I think I can safely say God's hand of protection has been upon us. 

We haven't completely escaped ill health though as my hubby has a nasty cold and I've done something to my knee, which means I have pain, tenderness and numbness in my knee and leg. I think God is telling me to rest up, which is a shame as I really fancied heading to Birling Gap tomorrow, just like I did last New Years Day. Oh well, there is always another day!

Before Covid struck it had been a very nice December and I wanted to share a few photos for future memories and give thanks to the Lord for some great times. Despite my parents/ brother not being able to come for Christmas and our Christmas and New Year plans getting cancelled I have had one of the best December ever and that is a testament to the work Christ has been doing in me this last year. 

A Late Thanksgiving Post #R2BC

I've wanted to write a blog post for a few days but it's been a weird week and I can't seem to get myself motivated. I keep procrastinating and doing other tasks but today is Thanksgiving in the USA and all week I've been bombarded with emails, devotionals and social media posts about the importance of gratitude and changing your attitude to being grateful for what you have.

I've loved seeing all these things as gratitude is a massive part of my life as a Christian. Most mornings I write a gratitude journal and give thanks for the things that are going well in my life. It's so important to adopt a positive approach to life and to acknowledge all the blessings you have, even when you're in your darkest moments. Sometimes it can be really tricky and you might be digging deep for even one reason to be thankful, but think on it hard enough and that reason will come. 

It was for this reason that back in 2011 I started the Reasons to be Cheerful linky and I still know many people who use this practice in their everyday life. Looking for the silver linings and the little moments of grace that you spot in the everyday. When you start to look for the good stuff, you'll find you spot it much more easily. It's like any habit, keep practising and it will become second nature. Of course, at times you'll get distracted and forget but thankfully I find that God prompts me to look once again for the good moments when I am drowning in my problems. 

October was an awfully hard month for me, I had parenting challenges that I never thought I'd have to face but I kept trying to dig deep and look for the blessings. They were there, some of them hiding behind black clouds and it took me days to write even one thing in my journal at times, but I'm coming through it, I look at November and there are days with a list of 20 reasons that I am feeling grateful. 

Reasons to be Cheerful - Heading into Autumn

Hey friends, how is life? 

Things have been quite interesting here, there have been some lovely days or moments, like yesterday when I headed up to London with my hubby to see the Prince of Egypt at the theatre, or today when I did community meals at church and then had lunch with a friend. But there have also been some really hard stuff going on in the last month or so.

With that in mind it is so important that I write this post and look for all the good things in life, the things I am grateful for, as otherwise I could head into a spiral of despair and that's no good. I don't think I have the headspace for anything too wordy, so I'll go back to basics and do a list of all the things that I am so grateful for right now and in the last month or so -

1. That I can work from home and it gives me the space to support my kids
2. I got petrol when I needed it without too much queueing
3. I had a great time at the Blog On conference last weekend
4. I got to spend some time with my parents and had some good food whilst I was there
5. It was JJ's birthday and my baby is now 18, We celebrated  very simply and I made him a coffee cake

A July full of Reasons to be Cheerful

I'm feeling very relaxed and happy as we went away on holiday last week and now I have the whole summer stretching ahead of me. If only the sun would come out again!

Worthing Holiday

So the holiday is the first super big reason to be cheerful. We stayed in Goring, next to Worthing and it was glorious, the weather was great, our holiday house was right by the beach and it was so good to spend time with my parents and brother. We did all the simple UK beach holiday stuff, time on the beach, swimming in the sea, playing mini-golf, penny arcades, walking (and skating) the prom and the pier, out for meals, as well as shopping, trampolining and car booting!

Early Summer Reasons to be Cheerful

Hey friends, it feels like a while since I last wrote a reasons to be cheerful post and shared all the little joyful things that have been going on in my life. In fact, I just checked and it was 24th May, so that's about seven weeks ago and it's no reflection is what has been going on. Life has been good, but it has also been busy and I haven't had the time to focus on writing a post just because I love to share and because being grateful really fills my heart and lifts my mood. 

I can't possibly write about all the good things that have happened in the last seven weeks, so here are just a few -

1.  Having a great time at church - we went this morning and it was fabulous, with a really good sermon, superb lively worship and some guest missionaries who are back from Chad currently. We only joined this church about 9 months before Covid hit, so we still feel quite new, but getting to know people and getting involved in serving as part of church life is great.

2.  A couple of days with my mum - earlier this week I went to stay with my parents and then Mum and I had a night at a hotel too. We visited Kew Gardens for the first time and spent loads of time walking, chatting, shopping and eating. It was so good!

Oh Happy Day! Reasons to be Cheerful - April 2021

It's been a while since I've shared a Reasons to be Cheerful post. In fact, I just had a look and it was February, so March passed me right by, I don't know if I wasn't feeling grateful or was just feeling busy! Whichever, it doesn't matter, I'm here now and feeling very thankful today.

I'm almost ready for bed as I had a lovely day out today. My husband is still on part-furlough so we headed to Seaford Head and had a walk along the cliffs to the iconic view of the Seven Sisters past the Coastguards Cottages. 

We also walked along the beach and enjoyed a spot of lunch on the seafront. Our drive home was a long one along the cliffs with a stop at Birling Gap for a drink and to enjoy the views. It was lovely weather, quite windy, but still beautiful and we both look like tomatoes now with windburn!

How I Got Where I am Today: Finding Your Vocation

Thanks to my friend Eva for this image

I was browsing Twitter last week when a tweet from Donna at 'What the Redhead Said' caught my eye. She was responding to a tweet from a random American guy who said it was depressing that our society had failed to provide ambitious role models for our children and then he shared a graphic (which is pretty hilarious when you look at it closely) that apparently shows the top 10 jobs that kids want nowadays.

Put aside the fact that this guy had obviously made the graphic up, or at the very least not checked his sources very well as the jobs add up to nearly 137%, there are very random spelling mistakes and careers like teacher/ athlete are bundled together, what was interesting, was the backlash it had stirred in people, with him receiving over 7.000 responses, including Donna's.

It set me thinking about the job I do nowadays and how I came to this place. If you'd asked 17-year-old Michelle what she would be when she was grown up, it certainly wouldn't be a self-employed stay-at-home mum. The teen Michelle would have told you she was going to be a big success, running an empire, probably a hotel empire and that she wasn't ever going to have kids.  

I disagree. It shows the future and how anyone can carve a career for themselves nowadays.

I left school with no qualifications & am now a self employed blogger earning more than I did as a bank manager AND able to do school runs with the kids.

Even bloggers have ambition. https://t.co/1eduxg23Sp

— Donna Wishart - What the Redhead said (@genuineplacebo) March 22, 2021

Being Self-Employed - Planning for all Eventualities

Photo by Corinne Kutz on Unsplash

{This is a collaborative post}

I became self-employed back in the Spring of 2013 and in many ways, I have never looked back. It provides me with the flexibility I never had when I was traditionally employed. As a mother with a growing family, it allows me the freedom to be there when the kids need or want me, to be able to volunteer for charities and my church and to just take an afternoon off if I fancy a walk in the hills with my husband. 

There are so many advantages to being self-employed that I'd be hard-pressed to name them all, but there are also a few worries that come alongside it. Thankfully we live in a house that comes with my husband's job and this takes away some of the financial pressure that we used to face when we had a mortgage, utility bills and council tax to cover.

I've happily gone along over the last few years, enjoying our lifestyle and spending the money I earnt on family holidays, meals out and some nice treats for the kids, but the events of the last year have really made me think about how protected we are as a family for all eventualities. Of course, our faith is in Jesus as we are Christians but we're told in the bible to have faith and also to take steps forward and to do the footwork.

So, recently I've been looking at our family's finances and the plans we have in place for if the worst was to happen. The areas I have been reviewing are -

Income Protection Insurance

If I was to fall ill or get injured and we lost my self-employed income we'd certainly feel it as a family. Thankfully we'd still be able to pay our bills and eat but our lifestyle would rapidly deteriorate as the girls wouldn't be able to have their trendy trainers, our odd takeaway would be a thing of the past and our holidays would be in our own home. 

Once we move out of our current home and we either buy or rent a property again, then my becoming ill and the loss of my income would probably have a far more detrimental impact and we may find ourselves not being able to pay the bare essentials like the gas bill, or having enough to buy food. That kind of situation doesn't bear thinking about and to be honest, I don't need to as I could ensure that even if I fell ill or got badly injured we could still have a similar amount of money coming in each month if we take out income protection insurance.

Income protection insurance will usually pay out between 50% and 70% - and the cost of a policy depends on your age, job, your health and lifestyle and the percentage of income you’d like to cover.  When self-employed and taking out an income protection policy, your monthly income is based on your share of the pre-tax profits generated by your business.

Feeling Thankful in February Lockdown

I'm pleased to report that my mood is much improved since the last time I wrote a reasons to be cheerful post. The announcement on Monday that the UK has a plan for the next few months has really boosted me. I can't wait to be able to see my parents, go to church, travel for a break away and have a meal out. I don't do lots of extravagant or expensive things in life but I do really enjoy the simple things and I can't wait to enjoy them all again. 

That said, I have been still looking for the silver linings in this lockdown and have many blessings to count -

*  As I tided the kitchen this morning I watched a kestrel flying overhead, a pheasant wandering past my window and a then bunny hopping by and I reflected on how much I love living in the countryside.

*  I helped with community meals today at church and it was great to have a chat with a few people. 

*  Our little cat is being very affectionate with me at the moment, I still marvel at the fact that I now like cats. 

Lockdown Exercise Options Recommended by Teenage Girls

Miss E is enjoying her resistance bands from Neon Sheep

{This is a review post, we were provided with the items from Neon Sheep for review}

This lockdown seems to be so much harder than the original one last Spring and as such motivation can be lacking to get outside and do all the things we enjoy and most importantly keep us fit and are good for our bodies and minds. 

I'm lucky that my twin girls have been enjoying having the time to focus more on their fitness but it is just such a shame it keeps raining so much at the moment. I asked my girls to share what they (and their teenage friends) have been doing to exercise during this lockdown -

Chloe Ting Workouts on YouTube

Miss E is loving the Chloe Ting workouts, there is a massive variety and they all seem easy to do from home, all you need is an exercise mat. There are workouts to target all areas of your body and challenges that last a few weeks, so the variety is good and will keep you going for some time. Best of all, her content is all free.

Miss E didn't have an exercise mat so she was chuffed when Neon Sheep sent her a grey yoga mat for use when she is exercising. She was also really pleased that it is a good size, as at 5ft 7" tall she wondered if it would be long enough for her. This lightweight mat is currently on sale at £10.

The Body Coach Workouts

Joe Wicks, AKA The Body Coach is another person with a great YouTube channel. My girls were keen for me to emphasise that it is not the PE with Joe Wicks that teens like but his other workouts, especially the 7 days of sweat. Have a look on his chancel and again, you'll see a great variety of workouts. 

Roller skating

Miss E loves to rollerskate and this is great for your core strength and general balance. It's something you can do alone or with friends and you don't need much space outside. Paths, parks or cycle trails are all good places to go skating and if you manage to improve your skills during lockdown, it will be useful for when the roller discos open up again later in the year.

Yoga

Yoga is not only great for helping with your physical fitness, but it is also a wonderful way to help calm and centre yourself. You can feel the stress leave you and a new sense of mental clarity take over, which is just perfect for this unpredictable and stressful time we find ourselves in.

We have been using Yoga with Adriene on YouTube and again it is free content. She has a great 30-day program on there at the moment, called Breath. Miss E is loving the cute little pink yoga socks from Neon Sheep, they are £3 and have little rubber dots on the bottom to ensure you don't slip. 

She also received these workout leggings and matching bra top. The leggings are available in size XS to L and they retail at £19.99. Miss E is wearing a size medium. They have sweat-wicking and quick-drying properties and Miss E says they have been really comfortable to wear. I can confirm they have also washed well too. The sports bra is available in the same size range and sells for £16.99. I really like the mesh detailing on the back and it gives good support in the bust area. 

Cycling

Cycling is another great form of exercise during this lockdown as you can do it alone or with members of your family. Or even meeting with one other person for the purpose of exercise outside. Start small if you haven't cycled for a while as you may find you'll ache in odd places the day after and then slowly build up your stamina, distance and route. 

Going for a Run

The Couch to 5K app is really useful for people just starting out on their running journey, as it gives you a safe way to build up how far you'll run and with what intensity. Of course, your teen may already be quite fit and not need an app like that, but always remember to do some stretches and a short warm-up before any exercise.

Footwear is the most important thing when running so make sure it is comfortable, well-fitting and not too heavy on the foot. Then why not grab a running armband to put your phone in and head off to enjoy some music or a podcast as you take in the fresh air. 

Create your own Workout

There are loads of great article out there about creating your own HIIT workout and it is easy to do this as you don't need any equipment. You can even use a site like Interval Timer to plan your time intervals and have an auditory reminder of when it is time to change activities.

Miss M likes to plan circuits with her twin. So she'll get out any exercise equipment they have like a gym ball, weights, kettlebells or resistance bands and then they decide which exercises they'll do in which order and sort times out. This kind of workout is good as you can change it every time and it stays fresh and fun. It is also nice to do it with another member of your family, as you can then have a bit of friendly competition and compete against each other. 

You can see Miss E with a resistance band in the very top photo. This is one of a set we received from Neon Sheep. For £12.00 you receive five different length/ resistance bands, a door anchor, 2 padded foam hand grips and 2 ankle straps, all supplied in an easy to carry nylon bag.

There really are so many ways to keep fit during lockdown, it doesn't have to be boring and even if the rain never lets up you can exercise in your house or even the garage if you want a bit of fresh air but to stay dry. 

Do share with us any different ways you've been keeping fit during lockdown.

Why not pin this post for later?

Surviving Home Schooling and Feeling Thankful #R2BC

Time to sit down and bash out my little dose of positivity. It's been a good couple of weeks, and I've managed to get out a couple of times - nowhere particularly exciting of course but it still counts and it's good for my soul.

I've been feeling really thankful this last week and that is amazing as it is like a drug to me, soothing me, reminding me that things will be OK, and we can all get through this. 

Here is a list of just some of my reasons to be thankful -

• The girls are getting on with their homeschooling (in the main!) and the most frequent thing I have to do is jivvy them along and threaten consequences if they don't knuckle down and get on with the work.
• You can tell the school/ teachers are now more confident with teaching remotely as most of their resources are in Google classroom and thus easy to access and the girls are having a few live lessons every day too.
• My JJ is a treasure, he just gets on with his college work and is really self-motivated. He's such a good lad and is happy to help the girls too if they need it. That sure helps me as I have no idea bout most GCSE maths or science. 
• Miss E is constantly on Facetime with a girl from school and they seem to be establishing a really lovely and deep friendship during this lockdown. I pray it continues when they return to school. 
• We had to take the cat to the vets for a check-up as he was bitten last month and he is healing well, this meant Miss E and I got out and we could get a cheeky McDonalds drive-through.
• We've found out some stuff that has been going on for one of our twins and it is difficult stuff (I won't go into it) but I am so pleased to now know and to be able to offer her support. We've talked more and spent more time together this week, which is very good.

Pre-Christmas Reasons to be Cheerful

Having just gone into tier 4 (practically lockdown) this past weekend it seems extra pertinent to write a Reasons to be Cheerful post and to try to focus on the good things going on in my life.

First off, the biggies - my family are all well, my friends are well, we have a lovely home, our heating got fixed and we are warm, we have enough food to eat and we can afford to pay our bills. In this time when people are losing loved ones, jobs and homes, I know we are very lucky to have all of those things still.

Then the next thing I am giving thanks for, is that I know Jesus. My faith makes a massive difference in my life and it is so much richer for it. We are also part of a super community-spirited church and we've had some great zoom church services, a quiz and met some other members online for a chat recently. 

I'll share a few photos from other precious moments in the last couple of weeks -

*  Decorating the tree with Miss E. Going for the mismatched but full of memories look

Reasons to be Cheerful - Advent, Cakes and Walks

It's time to share another cheery update. I find this such a good practise to record all the things that I'm grateful for and I was listening to a podcast this week that reminded me that counting your blessings is one of the antidotes to leading a bitter life. I certainly don't want to go through life bitter, and I know I have a tendency for that, so here is my next gratitude instalment.

1. Beautiful winters days, with amazing skies but not too cold.

2.  Lockdown has finished and we are welcoming guests back to the centre where I live.

3.  I had a great walk with a friend along Bexhill seafront, it was good to chat and enjoy a hot chocolate.

4.  My girls filled an advent calendar  for me and the first day was a little note saying 'I love you', it's very cute

Feeling Grateful for Time, Photography and Flowers

Hello friends, I hope you’re well? I’ve been trying to write this R2BC post for days now and I keep running out of time but I’m now wondering if that was God’s intention, so I had to write it today. I have a terrible headache today and I just feel like I want to curl up in bed, but instead, there are things to be done - JJ to run to college and back, Miss M to collect from her friends later and dinner to be sorted, so making time to sit down and reflect on the things I am grateful for is just perfect.

Here is my grateful list for the last week or so -

1.  I have time to have a cup of tea alone and with my hubby.

2.  I've been Trying out new settings on my phone camera and really liked learning a little more. 

3.  Discovering the glass doors on my cooker can come apart for cleaning in between them. I had no idea! Why haven’t I known this for the last twenty years?

4.  Having a lovely walk and coffee with a friend by the beach the other day.

Feeling Cheery this October #R2BC

It's time to share a positive update again. I find this process of thinking through the last week or two and looking for the highlights so therapeutic that I vowed (back in 2011) to do it regularly, and sometimes I've been great and others a month or two can go by and I've forgotten. But not to worry, here I am now and that is what matters.

Studying the Enneagram

I'm feeling very optimistic as we head into October, as I was on a course for a couple of days last week, studying the Enneagram. This is an ancient tool used to discover your personality type, which I really like as it isn't static, there are lots of opportunities to grow and become more balanced as a person, whilst understanding what deeply motivates you. 

I feel as if I went really deep earlier this week and discovered more about myself and now I have some work to do to learn more about why I act and react in certain ways. I'm not sure this will be the most painless process but it feels very necessary, so I am game!

Even though the course was held at Ashburnham Place (my home) I went and stayed in one of the guest bedrooms and attended the course as an external guest. So I enjoyed good meals, chats and time alone without any responsibilities except to look after myself. 

A visual depiction on my course, of how we are all living in the dark and bound to our ways,
before we become enlightened and move into the light

Owning what I do

I noticed this last week that I have made progress when talking about my life and what I do. The common question when you meet someone new is that they ask what you do, or what your work is and for the last seven years since I left my role as a trainer at a university, I have always mumbled as I answered and given variations on the answer 'not a lot'.

This week I told anyone who asked me that I was self-employed. That I'm a paid writer and social media manager and I didn't add any ifs or buts. It felt good. 

Grateful for a fabulous local Garage

A stupid pheasant with a deathwish decided to fly into my wing mirror as I drove along at speed the other day. I saw it walking across the road but doing 45 mph and with cars behind me I could only brake a little and the stupid bird decided to try and take flight in the direction of my car, then boom! It caused me £110 of damage, but it would have been a lot more if I hadn't had a great local garage who helped me sort it out. I have no idea what to do about car stuff, so I am so grateful to be able to just turn up and Carlton always helps me. 

JJ's Provisional Driving License has Arrived

My boy turns 17 this month and he is keen to get started with his lessons, so I am very pleased his provisional driving license has arrived and now we can book the lessons and also his theory test. I'm hoping that it is all quite a quick process for him as he has great information retention and recollection and normally good reactions and spatial awareness too. 

Making an Effort

I've felt for a while that I am looking a bit old and worn. So I treated myself to a nice new bright top from the charity shop (a bargain £3 and you could see it was new) and each day of the course I put on make-up and rocked my mask. I think I'm finally getting used to wearing them.