The Importance of Spending One-on-One Time With Your Children

Every parent wants to have that joyous bond with their child. One where they are both respected as parent and cherished as friend. I think one of the keys to that closeness and developing a special relationship that will last a lifetime and weather the storms is spending intentional one-on-one time with each of your children.

Now before you start telling me that you have six kids, no money and your partner works away from home, this doesn't have to be expensive or too time intensive.

Yes, of course you can have those kind of special times too. Both my girls chose time as their main Christmas present this year, so during February half-term Miss M will go away with my husband to London to see a show and stay overnight. Then a few days later Miss E will go away with me to see my Mum and stay in a great hotel with a pool. We will all have the most amazing time I'm sure and in doing so we cement our relationships further.

Easy Summer Days #R2BC

Happy Thursday, I hope you are well and enjoying the summer weeks. I'm so glad the kids have broken up from school and we have enjoyed a fairly low key week so far. It all ramps up from the weekend so this time of relaxation is very necessary.

At the weekend we took a couple of visits to Battle Abbey as it is only a short drive from our home and now we have English Heritage membership, there is no cost to us. The weather was so nice and it was bliss to lay on the grass chatting to my hubby whilst the kids went off and played together. There was even a wedding in the grounds on Sunday and this meant we could enjoy the live music.

Monday I let the little ladies have a good shop. It was their birthday last weekend and they received money from a number of people so they loved finding themselves a bargain at Claire's, New Look, H&M and BHS. I even sat on the bench outside two shops and let them go in and do their shopping alone (as long as they stayed together).

Priceless - One-on-one time with your child

When you only have one child they have your undivided attention and then as you have more kids it gets harder and harder to have that special time that is just about you and them. I have found it particularly tough as my daughters are twins and seem to expect to come as a package and do things together. However I feel it is very important for each of the children to just have time alone with me.

Probably what I should also say is that I believe the time should be directed and led by the child. Yes this means I end up doing all sorts of things that frankly I'm really not that interested in. Miss M loves role play and most weeks I am a pupil in her school and I get a sneak peek into what it must be like to be in her classroom as I watch her mimic her teachers. Other weeks we play makeover, what fun that is! Often I end up a big old mess but I have one very happy 5 year old on my hands and it is not as if she is using my make-up, that is where the local pound shop comes into its own.

Generally if we are playing at home then the time tends to be limited to about half an hour as it can feel incredibly hard to find enough time for all three children. I work 4 days a week so I understand the time pressures that working parents feel but for me I make this special time a priority and it pays off. I have three children who are all willing to help and listen to me. 90 minutes investment for an enjoyable week and in-tune family.

Miss E is a very different child to Miss M and her idea of a great time with mummy is sitting down to do craft or play with playdough. We have loads of beautiful collages and coloured pictures that we have tackled together. Junk modelling is also fun and probably something we will spend some time doing tomorrow and then perhaps painting them on Sunday.  I actually thing our craft supplies have now got to excess as Miss E has three large boxes of supplies and I have one as well as I enjoy making cards for friends and relatives.

My time with JJ is often spent going swimming together. I've posted before about spending time with my boy, he is such good company and hated his swimming lessons, so it seemed logical we would go swimming together on a Friday evening when dh is home to babysit the girls. This is such an important life skill and if I can help him improve and enjoy some time with me then that is perfect. Of course the evening is rounded off with a hot chocolate.

if we are not swimming together then it is normally a cuddle up watching TV or a board game for JJ and I. He is trying to teach me Chess at the moment and that is a giggle as I am not into the strategy side of things, his thrashing me keeps him happy anyway!

As JJ gets to go out with me this week Miss E insisted that she should get to go out as well and especially as Daddy was off work he could look after the other two. I asked her where she wanted to go and was told John Lewis for a babychinno.  OK, sounds good. So after a trip to the Entertainer toy store where she bought herself some colouring we headed for a drink together and a look round John Lewis as I had some vouchers to spend. Good old work and their Christmas gift!

Dh has been whinging at me about buying a spice rack, well I can sort of understand, look at the state of our spice storage currently but come on, these vouchers where a Christmas present for me so surely a bottle of perfume was much more the order of the day! Well it was for me anyway and I came away with my favourite Dune by Christian Dior.

Because mine and Miss E's trip out took longer than normal I need to schedule in time tomorrow with the other two, as mentioned Miss M and I will be doing junk modelling and JJ and I will set about creating a Lego empire whilst watching a film tomorrow afternoon. I feel a PJ day is in order.....

What about you, do you try to spend regular time with your children one on one?  I'd seriously recommend it, yes it feels like a big ask at first but you soon get in the swing of it and from my experience they appreciate it so much.

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