Showing posts with label self compassion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self compassion. Show all posts

Monday, 21 October 2024

How to Start Putting Yourself First Once Your Kids Are Older

Image Credit: Pexels

{This is a collaborative post}


As a parent, putting your children’s needs before your own often becomes second nature. From their infancy through to their teenage years, your life may revolve around their schedules, activities, and well-being. But as your kids grow older and become more independent, a new phase of life emerges—one where you can finally start putting yourself first. It’s an opportunity to reclaim your time, focus on your own goals, and nurture your well-being. If you’ve spent years prioritising your children, here’s how to start focusing on yourself again.

 

1. Redefine Your Role

One of the first steps to putting yourself first is accepting that your role as a parent is evolving. While you’ll always be their parent, your children no longer need you in the same way they did when they were younger. Embrace this transition as an opportunity to shift your focus inward.

Understand that taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s essential for your well-being. You can still be a supportive parent without sacrificing your own happiness and health. Redefining your role means acknowledging that it’s okay to prioritise your needs and wants and that doing so can even set a positive example for your children.

 

2. Reconnect with Your Passions

Now that you have more time to yourself, it’s the perfect moment to reconnect with activities you once enjoyed or to discover new passions. Perhaps there were hobbies or personal interests you set aside while raising your kids—whether it’s painting, hiking, reading, or learning a new skill, now is your chance to revisit those interests. If you’re unsure of what you enjoy, take this time to explore different activities. Try out classes, attend workshops, or engage in creative pursuits that bring you joy. Rekindling these passions can provide a sense of fulfilment and help you rediscover your sense of self outside of your parental identity.

 

3. Prioritise Self-Care

With more freedom in your schedule, it’s crucial to prioritise self-care. As a parent, you likely spent years making sure your children were cared for, but now it’s time to turn that same attention toward yourself. Self-care is more than just occasional pampering—it’s about maintaining your mental, emotional, and physical health on a regular basis.

Start by carving out time for self-care practices like exercise, meditation, or even something as simple as reading a book uninterrupted. These moments of personal time are essential for reducing stress and recharging your energy. Consider booking regular massages, scheduling wellness appointments, or starting a skincare routine that makes you feel refreshed and cared for. If something is getting you down or affecting your mental health, then take the time to fix it. For instance, many people struggle when their hair starts to thin, but visiting a Harley Street Hair Clinic London can help highlight possible options to improve this.

 

Saturday, 11 July 2020

8 Ways to Feel Better about Yourself

Photo by Ellieelien on Unsplash
{This is a collaborative post}

We've been living through such a strange and difficult time the last few months and as lockdown starts to ease and hopefully life becomes a little more normal again, it is good to think about what we can do to give ourselves a little boost. Many of us have been desperate to get our hair cut or our nails done, and those simple actions can make you feel more confident and ready to face the world. But I've also been musing some other ideas of what we can do if we are feeling a bit flat right now and as if we need to start to feel better about ourself again.

So how about these ideas? -

1.  Have a day to yourself

If lockdown has meant you've been home with those you love 24/7 then you might just be desperate for some alone time. Now that more places are opening up and perhaps you can get out as you have a babysitter, why not consider a day shopping in your favourite town. Or maybe taking a very long walk in a local country park, seaside or forest. Pack a flash and a picnic if you still want to stay away from people, or it might be your idea of heaven to be able to have a good coffee al fresco outside your favourite cafe.


Thursday, 16 April 2020

Practising Self-Compassion as Coronavirus Realisation Sets In

Beautiful view to an orangery and church

We're now into our fourth week of lockdown here in the UK and I think the realisation of this situation has hit home with mostly everyone. Daily life has dramatically changed and as I mentioned a couple of weeks ago I am hopeful for some good to come from this awful time, but honestly, there will also be a whole load of crap too. People are dying, businesses are folding, many won't have a job to go back to and I won't even pretend to understand what is going to happen to our economy, but of course, the dreaded recession word is being used, and that is never good.

As I sat having lunch today I realised that we are all going through a trauma and I don't think we are giving ourselves the space or time to really process what is going on. If you're anything like me then you have gone into auto-pilot, trying to help everyone else in the family feel OK about what is happening. I'm organising, shopping, cleaning, sorting, playing, teaching, cooking, washing, listening, chatting etc etc, What I'm not doing is taking time to think through how all these changes impact me.

I realised a couple of weeks ago that something was wrong as I kept wanting to buy hand sanitiser even though I didn't need it, it was almost as if I thought it might get me through this tough time. It was super irrational but the mind plays tricks on us when it feels overloaded. I also recognised that I wasn't getting much done in a day, I felt busier than before the lockdown and how could that be as my work has dried up and I didn't have to go anywhere?

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

We're not machines and the sooner we realise that the better, the enormity of this situation we all find ourselves in, will have a different impact on every one of us. It's difficult, it's hard to process and it is humungous. There is so much uncertainty right now, it's no wonder that we feel a bit off-kilter.

We know that kindness and withholding judgement are essential at the moment. We do not know what is going on in someone else's life and it is not for us to say if it is OK for them to walk their dog four times a day, or to go for a drive in the hills. But we also have to remember that the kindness needs to be extended to ourselves as well.