Super Lucky to be Here: Happy Mothering Sunday #isurvived

JJ, my boy who made me Mummy

Happy Mothering Sunday Friends. I wish every woman out there an amazing day, be she a mother herself or a mother figure. This day isn't only to be celebrated and enjoyed by those who have given birth it is also for those who selflessly offer their heart and soul loving others in the way a mother often does.

This is the 16th Mothering Sunday that I have celebrated. Of course JJ isn't actually that old yet but my hubby bought a card from the bump (AKA JJ) back in March 2003, seven months before he was even born. I remember being so thrilled to receive that first card and some flowers (if I remember rightly) as it was the start of my maternal journey, having thought previous to this that I might never have children.

I do remember feeling very special when I was pregnant but I had quite a lot of sickness for the first few months and I just looked extra fat rather than glowing with a perky bump. I did then get about four good months with JJ just before he was born but then stupidly I decided it would be great to have him in September rather than October, as was his due date. So I cleared and cleaned the house and then started to gut the garage. I remember I worked like a Trojan and it was very satisfying, well up to the point when I saw my midwife that afternoon and she started to worry about high blood pressure, excessive oedema in my ankles and belly, and protein in my urine.

Yes, it turns out I had pre-eclampsia. I've no idea if all my 'nesting' added to my getting this condition but it surely didn't help it and I was taken off to the hospital that evening for monitoring and a scan. It was decided that they wouldn't let me go too much over my due date and thus I was booked in for an induction on 3rd October 2003 when I would be 40+2 weeks.

Whilst my induction with JJ was a bit of a debacle and took me quite some time to emotionally recover from, I am still enormously grateful that we have the NHS in this country and that when JJ's heart rate kept decelerating, I could have the C-section without any delay. Then when the spinal blocks and epidural didn't work, there was an anaesthetist on hand who was able to give me a general straight away. Luckily JJ was fine and he hadn't swallowed any meconium as was feared and over the next few weeks I healed too.

A great priviledge

I feel incredibly lucky that my family and I can afford to sponsor two children in other countries. Every month we pay £50 to Compassion.org so that two children can be part of a Christian program which enables them to be schooled, enjoy fun activities, attend life skills courses, benefit from supplemental nutrition if they need it and receive gifts on important dates.

I often find that when I mention child sponsorship most people agree that it is a wonderful thing to do and then they quickly tell me how they wish they could afford it. Let me just assure you we are not rich, not by any means. In fact I'm wiling to bet that we earn less than 90% of you reading this but we are all different and we make our own choices and that's OK. So as I say we are not rich, well not in a monetary sense anyway, we are however incredibly rich in all that we have in our life and particularly being able to support these two children.

Carl Henri, from Hiati has been a part of our lives since 2005 and through his letters and photos we have watched him grow and mature. He is now 15 and when his most recent letter arrived I cried as it was such a blessing to hear him say he loved us and prayed for us. He then updated us on his news and asked for prayer and talked about his church and the choir he belongs to. Like us he goes to a Baptist church and it felt special to know we have this common ground. From the immature drawings of a red car that we often used to find on our letters to the letters he now pens himself and requests our prayers in he is growing into a lovely young man.

We also sponsor Priya but this only started in 2012, so this is a relatively new relationship and I feel we are still in the early stages of developing a bond. Priya is 10 and lives in India and we choose her as she shares a birthday with our JJ and my dh had just returned from a mission trip to India.

As a Christian we believe that tithing (or giving) is something which is of the utmost importance and it is something we do before we have met our bills and thought about the 'norms' of our everyday life, like whether the girls can do a dance class (they don't) or JJ can attend judo (he doesn't either, but he hopes to). We like to have the children involved by getting them to do drawings r help to write the letters, this gives them a sense of what is happening in the world and helps them to develop their compassion for others.

We sponsor through Compassion as we are Christians and it is important to us that we invest our money in an organisation that we believe to be honourable and working to the same life principles and ethos as us. Some people are sceptical of child sponsorship programs but there is evidence to suggest the schemes work and certainly we feel comfortable with our decision to spend money in this manner.

Other large reputable providers of child sponsorship include - Plan UK, World Vision and ActionAid

I'd urge you to think about what a difference you could make to a child living in poverty. Some of the schemes start from as little as £3.50 per week.

This post HAS NOT been sponsored in any way.

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Children Need Support in the Wake of Natural Disasters

Our two sponsored children

When a natural disaster hits a community it is devastating for everyone involved, but especially for the children. When a wildfire, earthquake, storm or violent flood hits a community, children are very vulnerable and can be significantly impacted. Their families might need to relocate, they may have lost vital loved ones and the adults that they usually rely on to support them will be also struggling themselves.

 How can we support children during these difficult times? During times of tragedy, children need stability and comfort and they also need older role models who can guide them on how to manage the emotions that they are feeling. When they have the support of caring adults, children will eventually be able to return to school and their normal routines. They will be able to understand their reactions to the trauma and move on from the experience. 

Strong Reactions are Normal 
Following a highly traumatic event such as a natural disaster, it is completely normal for teenagers and children (as well as adults) to have strong reactions and changes in behaviour. Feelings of confusion, insomnia, depression, anger, social withdrawal, panic and fear are common and very natural. It is important that these reactions are not ignored, but rather treated in the appropriate way so that they can be dealt with.

After a traumatic event, a child will likely be worried that their surroundings are no longer safe or that danger could strike at any minute. They might have reoccurring nightmares about the trauma or fears that they or their family are in danger. Children in this situation are often tense, nervous, on-edge and might have difficulty paying attention or concentrating. They will become overly dependent on others and clingy, or sometimes even distressed and fearful if they are separated from loved ones. These are all natural responses to the trauma that the child has witnessed and in order to move on from this distressed psychological state, we need to give children the support they need.

How Can We Help Children in This Situation? 
What does a child need to recover from this type of emotional trauma? First of all, they need adults in their life who are calm and reassuring and will provide them with support. They need their feelings to be listened to and discussed, rather than hidden.

Also, a great way to support children in this situation is to offer them positive coping and problem solving skills. This will help them to develop their own ways of dealing with the situation, so that they can manage their anxiety. It can also be very helpful for children dealing with trauma to have strong emotional support from their peers and friendship groups. Time spent with friends is important and should be encouraged.

These are just a few of the important ways that we can help children recover from natural disasters. To find out more about Plan UK and how the charity helps children in need, visit their child sponsorship page here http://www.plan-uk.org/sponsor-a-child/

This is a guest post which I was happy to accept without charge as my family sponsor two children, one in Haiti and one in India, so I know first-hand the value that child sponsorship has.

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