Friday 21 August 2009

Me, me, me

I went to ED last night and it was a very good meeting. Someone sharing her story so far and I could relate to many aspects, especially around her guilt of passing her bad eating habits onto her small children. She also said she had no idea what 'normal' is and I so know what she means by that. It is hard to know if I am doing the best for my kids in relation to eating, so I just pray the Lord guides me and helps me to overcome this illness, so they can grow up around a sane mummy with good food behaviours.

Another lady talked about being out with some family members this week and them seeming subdued and she immediately thought what have I done, why are they being like this with me. She caught herself thinking this and said about this type of behaviour being classic of overeaters. I had no idea! I do this loads. I have never thought of it as a negative behaviour before but I now realise it is, someone else can have a bad day and it has nothing to do me with, logically I know this. I now just need to work on my emotions and tell them to stop being so sensitive.

I had a chat with dh earlier this week and I really enjoyed spending time with him, we said we must do it more often. One of the things I spoke to him about was how sometimes I perceive him to be angry or in bad mood and how I allow this to affect me. I did not accuse him or blame as I do realise it is about my perceptions and not about the truth or what is happening. Something I read in the shack made me realise this and be able to confront it, it has been helpful.

I have now finished the shack and I would definitely recommend it, it is a good read. Not as earth shattering as I imagined it might be given all the media hype but definitely thought provoking and I am sure I will read it again in the future.

Better sign off now and get those ladies up form their nap. I have just been thoroughly selfish and enjoyed an hour to myself while the girls napped and JJ played.

Stay well everyone. xx
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