How great is my hubbie!

I have just downloaded some photos off the camera onto the PC and came across lots of lovely photos that I had no idea where there. Some from a day dh had out with the girls when I was at work a couple of weeks ago and some from his day to London with JJ last week. Thought I would upload some photos and show you that my kids have a fab Daddy and it is so lovely to know that I can leave all the kids with him and he and they are happy and content.

Thanks Ads. Love you. xx

Kiddie Update

My babies are no longer babies! boo hoo If I was to ask them, they would tell me 'my a big girl!'.

The girls are now practically 26 months -

E has turned into a Mummy's girl and constantly asks 'Mummy coming', this is a real turnaround. She is still very sweet natured and has the most gorgeous glossy strawberry blond hair, in a Purdy (think Avengers) style. She is petite and very dainty. Often found crying or whinging as JJ has been too rough or M has stolen a toy from her. Give her a box of make believe toys and she would sit there for ages and play without a care in the world, happy with her own company. E has taken to mothering M and when M is crying she will come over and stroke her.

M is quite different - loud and vivacious, she is a female JJ. The most stunning white blonde hair which is all flyaway and quite messy but cute. She loves constant attention and wants everything that everyone else has, especially her twin. Her doll is her favourite at the moment, feeding it, changing nappies, pushing in the buggy etc etc. She is also often found wearing my shoes, a definite shoe fetish in the making.

JJ seems so grown up now. Just a few weeks away from being 6, we see a bit of attitude at times but a gentle word reminds him he is a child and he apologises and steps back in line. Being too tired can send him over the top and a crying hissy fit can emerge but again within a short time he is back to his loving self. School always describe him as a gentle giant, clumsy but very caring. He has a fab imagination and loves to do crafts and cookery. I really enjoy spending time with him and Saturday nights with X factor and popcorn is a feature for our house, then at other times of the year it is hi and Dad watching Doctor Who or Robin Hood together in bed and having some time together. JJ has just started Beaver and dh is helping to lead it, they are both enjoying themselves together and long may it last. I love seeing my husband being such a fab Dad to our kids.

Me, me, me

I went to ED last night and it was a very good meeting. Someone sharing her story so far and I could relate to many aspects, especially around her guilt of passing her bad eating habits onto her small children. She also said she had no idea what 'normal' is and I so know what she means by that. It is hard to know if I am doing the best for my kids in relation to eating, so I just pray the Lord guides me and helps me to overcome this illness, so they can grow up around a sane mummy with good food behaviours.

Another lady talked about being out with some family members this week and them seeming subdued and she immediately thought what have I done, why are they being like this with me. She caught herself thinking this and said about this type of behaviour being classic of overeaters. I had no idea! I do this loads. I have never thought of it as a negative behaviour before but I now realise it is, someone else can have a bad day and it has nothing to do me with, logically I know this. I now just need to work on my emotions and tell them to stop being so sensitive.

I had a chat with dh earlier this week and I really enjoyed spending time with him, we said we must do it more often. One of the things I spoke to him about was how sometimes I perceive him to be angry or in bad mood and how I allow this to affect me. I did not accuse him or blame as I do realise it is about my perceptions and not about the truth or what is happening. Something I read in the shack made me realise this and be able to confront it, it has been helpful.

I have now finished the shack and I would definitely recommend it, it is a good read. Not as earth shattering as I imagined it might be given all the media hype but definitely thought provoking and I am sure I will read it again in the future.

Better sign off now and get those ladies up form their nap. I have just been thoroughly selfish and enjoyed an hour to myself while the girls napped and JJ played.

Stay well everyone. xx

All loved up!

with my girls....

They are at such a wonderful age at the moment. It is hard to remember all the great things they do but I just find myself sitting and watching them sometimes. The interaction of twins is so special. They grabbed hands today and started doing ring a ring a roses together.

I find them mimicking the most strange of things, they are like little sponges, watching our every move, learning everything and then trying to copy.

I have been listening to some tapes this last week whilst decorating. I have really enjoyed them, they are called room for marriage and they are the first in a series of talks on marriage done by City Church Doncaster, a Christian friend of mine lent them to me about 6 months ago and because they are tapes rather than CD's this is the first time I have managed to get to listen to them. I wish I had listened sooner - they are fab. There is not necessarily anything on them that I do not already know but loads of reminders of how important my marriage is, and how I must cherish myself and dh and our time together.

So Sunday Night I intend to have a good chat with dh and remind him how much we need to make time for each other to ensure that our love stays strong.

Update from yesterday & shopping addiction!

In 100% better mood today. I did not enjoy yesterday at all, I tried not to allow myself to get too low and to wallow in things but I did end up eating a bar of chocolate that was not planned for. Did I feel better for eating it? not really. Did I really enjoy it? not really - must remember that for next time.

Dh and I had a good old chat last night and got some stuff in the open and I feel better for knowing his views but am so sorry I have inadvertently hurt him. He has enough issues without me adding more, so I will try and actively remember to curb my spending and to be good. What is it they say - look after the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.

I think I am starting to identify that spending/ shopping is my other addiction. I like the thrill of having something new. Where I have lost weight recently I have got all excited and bought a few new things and because they have individually been cheap £3 or £5, then I have told myself it is OK, but I forget it all adds up. So I have some bits to take back and put the money back in our bank account.

It is really crazy as I get seduced by the fact that something is reduced and therefore a good deal but I must stop. I think I will just have to stay away from the shops for now and keep temptation out of my way until I have done some more reading and worked the steps more to learn to see the difference between want and need.

I did not realise but it appears that I am even being compulsive with the food shopping and overspending there. I really do not mean to do that. I said to A last night that maybe I will have a food list which I agree with him and then I can not deviate off it or he can go shopping.

So for now I am on a spending ban. Luckily my gym membership is taken care of out of my salary so I can continue to enjoy that and things like toddlers cost just £1.50 so I will keep going there, but meals out need to be minimal and nights out with the girls stopped etc etc. We are on holiday next week and there will be a cost there and then it is time for the car service and car tax very soon - £400 out the window. I must keep this bigger picture in focus.

I have decided I will look at our spending and the bank account more often, so that A does not have to feel the responsibility is all on him. We are a partnership and we need to strive to do things together.

Thank you A

Feeling very grateful this morning, and refreshed too and that is thanks to my lovely Hubbie A.

M was not feeling at all well last night, really bunged up and A bought her into the travel cot in our room and helped her off to sleep. She was a bit restless in the night but nothing too much. Then when she and the other kids woke this morning A got up with them, cooked us all porridge and kept the kids entertained. I on the other hand stayed in bed and enjoyed a bit of a read - bliss! How to start a good Sunday. Right off to prepare for the roast chicken dinner now - yummy.