Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Been a bad girl

The title says it all really. After saying I needed to be good with food this week to keep my weight loss I have been totally out of control and I appear to be showing no signs of stopping. I prayed the other day to keep me away from some food and to stop me eating stuff I did not need and frankly I could not of been sincere enough as nothing happened. I think God knew I was going through the motions rather than it being a true heart cry that I wanted help.

I am now just about to go and get chocolate from the vending machine and I am not even hungry, in fact I feel quite full. So I assume I am eating to stifle some kind of emotion, not sure what as I feel fine on the surface but there really has to be some kind of reason why I do this and I just do not feel as if I have the energy at the moment to deny myself and to deal with my addiction. I think I am tried - an early night must be in order today. and then hopefully tomorrow is another day and I can pray to turn this blasted illness and addiction over to God once and for all.

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