Christian Bloggers UK - Joining in with the Easter Tag

Amazing paintings done whilst we were at Spring Harvest last year

I'm part of a lovely FB group called Christian Bloggers UK and it is open for new members but there are three conditions to join. Can you guess what they might be? Yes, it is super easy - Christian, blogger and UK based or born. So if you fit this criteria and want somewhere to share inspiration and ask questions, then head over and request to join.

Rachel, who blogs over at Rachel Ridler: Mum on a Mission is on of the admins of this group and she has tagged me to join in with the Easter tag. All I need to do is share my answers to a set of ten questions and then tag three other blogger friends to join in. So here goes.... 

1. How are you celebrating Lent this year?

I love Easter, it is probably my favourite Christian celebration of the year and Lent is the time that I start to get excited for it. I don't much go in for giving things up over Lent as I think so many people do it for selfish reasons or through obligation rather than because they want to make space to focus more on Jesus and what He did for us at Easter time. 

This year I am getting up half-an-hour earlier each day so I can do a Psalms bible study and pray more. I'm also joining in with the #40acts movement and dong Lent generously. I'll get an email each day with a few simple ideas of how I could be generous that day. Today I have dropped what I was doing to be a listening ear for someone and given them some practical help. Tomorrow - who knows!

2. What does Lent mean for you?

Lent for me is a time of preparation for Easter. I make space to focus more on God and less on me. As well as my early morning bible study I have also been listening to Christian podcasts today and I spent some time in the prayer centre creatively worshipping. 

Doing it for Jesus! Lent has Begun...

Well, today Lent has begun but I started my abstinence on Monday as that felt easier to get into the right mind set when I was feeling motivated and able.  I do not think God minds if I give an extra couple of days!

This year I have decided to give up all excess food, particularly anything that I turn to for comfort or release from anything I am feeling.  If you have read my blog for a while you will know that I have a real problem with food. I consider myself to be an addict and I have the disease of compulsive overeating.  Normal eaters can have a treat and then stop, people like me have no idea when to stop, the reflex just does not seem to be there and we keep going and going....  it is very sad really.

At the moment each time I feel any kind of emotion that steps away from the norm I want to eat:  happy and excited means it is time to treat myself, sad or angry then it is time to console myself. You get the picture?  When I feel these kinds of feelings what I should be doing it turning to God and praying.  Food is not the answer for me.  In the same way that drugs or drink are not the answer to many people.  I just cannot handle the excess food, it sends me into a spiral of feeling and looking fat, being unhealthy, getting down as I look bad and my clothes hardly fit and then eating to comfort and make myself feel better for a very short time before looking in the mirror or at a photo makes my unhappy again. It is a very dangerous downward spiral.

I have had this realisation for near on 2 years now that I have a problem.  I have been attending a weekly fellowship, 12 step meeting to try and get the help I need.  I have had periods of abstinence from eating compulsively but nothing sustained.  I keep focusing on the weight I have lost, which is a lovely thing to happen but the fat is just a symptom of my problems, not the actual problem itself.  It is only when I put the overeating to bed and eat to live in a healthy and moderate fashion that I will have the clarity of mind to discover what my real issues are..... and then to do something about them.  The weight loss is actually just a nice side-benefit.

So why is this time of abstinence any different to the others I have experienced over the last couple of years?  Firstly, my commitment to what foods I will stay away from this time is far wider than it ever has been before.  I have been scared before to say I will not have chocolate or such at all. I start to project and wonder how I will live my life without this drug but today I realise I just have to do this one day at a  time.  It is important to stay in the moment and not to project my worries and sabotage my own good efforts.

Secondly, this time I am not doing it for me (like I have with every past diet) or doing it for my kids (which is what the last 2 years have been about), I am doing it for Jesus.  My Saviour and the One I aspire to be like. I am very much human and being human means I am completely imperfect but I know that Jesus just wishes for me to try my very best and to pick myself up and keep on walking, one foot in front of the other.

I consider myself to be a baby Christian, I committed myself to walk with Christ back in 2002 and in many ways I have grown enormously and in others I know nothing but life is a journey and it is fun to learn and grow.  Last year was the first time I did anything for Lent and really started to understand the significance of what this time is about.  When I gave up blogging for the Lent period last year it was like my bindings had been undone, I felt so free and enjoyed the time.  It was hard at first as I my blog had become my confidant and close friend but it did not feel anywhere near as hard as this year's forsaking of comfort food will feel. Blogging was a habit of 1 year that I conquered, overeating is a habit of at least 27 years that I need to hand over to God and pray to get a handle on.

Whilst I know the next 46 days will be hard for me, there is nothing wrong with that.  Hard work is good for the soul and is nothing I am scared of. I pray this Lent will be my most faithful time yet where I reflect, ponder, pray, repent of my ill-doing, give up my comfort foods as a measure towards fasting (one day I may feel I can actually do this), take time to be with God and activley try to follow Jesus example set in the wilderness.

Wish me luck....  and if you are a person of faith, I would love a prayer!

...and what about you?  Are you doing anything for Lent?

Howdy, Lent is over

Hey all, How are you? Have you missed me? naahh I know your life is very busy.

I have not returned to blogging with any witty post that I have been thinking up over the last 6 weeks I am afraid. I have just come back as me, sentimental old fool that I am. Before I took my Lent break I was getting very tied up in this blogging lark. The ugly competitive side of me had come out and I was worrying about how many people followed my blog, who liked me and who didn't. Should I be on Twitter each day? How do I improve my readership? How many blogs am I subscribed to? etc etc. The resulting obsessed Mich was not really a person I liked too much.

So here I am back with a sound mind again. Blogging is something I will do when I feel like it and primarily I do it for me and any close family and friends who know me and like to keep up with our family's life. If I gain some new friends along my blogging journey that is wonderful but no longer will I be a 'comments whore', someone out for acknowledgment or affirmation of every little thing they write.

I am sure I must have said before that I hold no secret desire to be a writer and therefore there is no reason why I need a big readership of this blog. I have to love me for being me and not because people think my blog is good enough to be on their list. At my ED group they always talk about 'other people's opinions of me being no business of mine' and that is so right and I will do well to remember it.

So my 6 weeks absence has been far easier than I thought it would be. The first couple of weeks were very hard and I admit I did leave 1 comment and log onto my blog 2 or 3 times to see if I had any new followers - yes sad I know! but the last 4 weeks or so have been pretty easy and I have really enjoyed the extra time with my kids and hubbie. So that has affirmed to me my decision to blog when I want to and not when I feel I should. It was only yesterday evening that i realised that Lent was over and I could blog if I wanted and as you can see I did not run to the PC and post. I decided to enjoy a DVD with my man instead.

Some great stuff has been going on for me and the family the last few weeks and I will post more about that another time. My marriage course is over now and that has been an amazing experience and has definitely bought dh and I closer. I also have some preoccupying news which I will share soon.