Friday 11 April 2014

The bench outside my door...

Its Friday morning about 11am and as I sit here outside my house I can feel the warm sun beating on my bare arms. The gentle warmth makes me smile with happiness and squint as I try to see the screen to type this but I don't mind, it is so pleasant being here.

In the distance I hear the crows calling to each other, far out against the fields which have been ploughed ready for the new crops. I catch glimpses of those fields if I look up and in the distance I see the beautiful vibrant yellow of the corn flowers and again it makes me smile.

Probably the most obvious noise is the water, three flutes of it whooshing up into the air and then trickling down again but it is a good noise. It is the continual flow of the living water passing through this sacred place from the lake to one fountain to another and another and eventually into the stream. The water is so calm and it is a constant in the courtyard, whenever you come out the front door you can hear it and it soothes my soul.

If I look to the left I see a heart drawn in muddy water onto the old stone walls of the prayer centre. It has been there months now, resisting being washed off my the rain and it reminds me that I'm loved. God has confidence in me and thinks that I am good enough.

With Spring fully here I see the daffodils in their containers, the daisies in the grass and all the bushes have turned amazing shades of green. As I pass some the aroma is overwhelming and you become encompassed in the garden, knowing that this courtyard is just a taste of the amazement to come when you walk through the iron gate onto the West lawn, there lies so much of the beauty, like the black walnut tree, the blossom tree, the camellias, rhododendrons and azaleas amongst others.

I glance up to the sky and feel that sun again, this time on my face and neck. The soft white clouds are barely moving, set in their backdrop of perfect blue sky and yet again I'm reminded that God loves me and He has created me to be fit for purpose. I don't need to wait I'm ready now. Hallelujah, I'm ready now!

Yes He wants me to change and for me to be even better but His love for me is not dependant on that, it really is the ultimate unconditional love. He loves me, He forgives me and He gave his only son as a sacrifice for me.Its personal, its not corporate, every relationship with God is different - special and unique.

Easter is practically here and it is so important that I take time to remember and reflect on what it means to allow your son to go to the cross because you love people so much. Thank you Father, thank you Jesus and thank you that you sent your Spirit to be with us until Jesus comes again. We are not alone, we always have you.

And I see you every day in your creation. I'm listening to the robin sing at this very moment, he sits on my neighbours roof and sings to his friends in the far off trees and the beauty of their voices is a song to heaven, they are raising their voices in worship, as I have done this week and will do again tonight.

Today my intention was to sit down and write a post about what I learnt at Spring Harvest, I didn't really want to use my notebook to prompt me as I felt that your core messages would be with me, living in me and they are. I took away two main things from Spring Harvest, the first being that right here, right now I am good enough and you love me just as I am.

The second is that it is OK to be in this season. I don't always have to be in control, in a position of respect or earning lots of money. Right now it is best time to be at home and to nurture my family and enable our good life together. You are happy for me to take time to focus on me and my wider family and to grow in my faith and understanding of you, whilst taking steps to be a better daughter who is ready and able to do your will.

Thank you Jesus, you enrich my life beyond comprehension. I'm actually not sure where I would be right now if I had not met you. You are my everything and this song at Spring Harvest really spoke to me and pushes me to try harder for you, whilst still knowing I am enough!

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