Wednesday 2 October 2013

I don't know how I did it....

Loving time to spend with these nutters!

Most days I find this going through my head, I am amazed really. How on earth did I use to work, volunteer and look after my family and home? Now I’m not working outside the home it completely baffles me, I can see why I used to look tired and withered most of the time.

Here I am now with loads of time on my hands and still I don’t sit around and twiddle my thumbs, in fact I’d like a few more hours in a day. I suppose it is a change of priorities and activities rather than having stopped. Things before which had to be pushed to the side can now be undertaken.

It gives me an immense amount of satisfaction now to be able to do reading, times tables, spelling and homework with the kids every day. Before I struggled to do it twice a week. I tried to push the guilt away, who did it help if I felt bad that I was not doing enough educational things with the kids but realistically in the short time we have been here Miss E has made really great progress with her reading, something she struggles so much with. When I see that progress I know it is totally right than I am not working right now.

The smallest things gives me joy at the moment, like the fact I’m able to use up those plums that have not ripened. Before they would have ended up in the bin as there was no time for anything else but now I can use Maggy’s recipe and enjoy plum cake with custard. We can have roast dinners on week days, I can make curry from scratch and hot puddings come from the oven not a shop-bought container. Never has so much flour, eggs, butter and sugar been used in my house!

I have an immense respect for working parents, having done it for 10 years myself I know it is hard work and right now I’m blessed to be trying something different out. I felt the benefit of not working this week when late Sunday afternoon Miss M broke her elbow. As I spoke to dh on the phone as we waited in our local A&E all I could say was thank God I can just stay home with her and not worry. If we had been back in Hertfordshire one or the other of us would have felt compromised trying to sort out work around caring for our babe.

I understand I’m really blessed to have been able to make this decision, not everyone can. I have a husband who understands this is right at present and we have agreed that we will make financial sacrifices to be able to do this - plans for future abroad holidays and large purchases are gone but for us we really are feeling a difference in our quality of life.

For sure I’d urge anyone to seriously consider giving up work and spending some time at home to really be with your kids and to be able to feel as if you are on top of things. Turn back the clock and never would I or anyone who knew me say that I’d ever suit being a stay at home mum but we’d all have been wrong. For now it feels good and that’s enough for me.

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