Tuesday 13 August 2013

Marriage - No one said it would be easy

I've been thinking about marriage a lot just recently.  Not really my marriage but just the concept of biblical marriage and how society's views towards it have changed. It really saddens me to see so many people rush into marriage and assume it will be so easy and when it is not they bail out. A few weeks ago I was flicking through the Sunday papers at my parents-in-law and on the front page of one was a story about Denise Van Outen and how 'the spark had gone from her marriage' and thus divorce was to be the outcome.

I have no idea what goes on behind closed doors so maybe something really awful has happened in this relationship but the paper said they had spent so much time apart pursuing their entertainment careers that they fell out of love and grew apart. Gosh, that is so sad. How can the pursuit of fame and money be more important than your marriage?

When my parents were growing up back in the 1960's the known norm was to seek a spouse of the opposite sex and get married and that marriage would be for life. I like that - a lot. Nowadays people do whatever they fancy and I expect many reading this would say hooray, thank goodness for that. Not so for me, as a Christian marriage is a really important decision, one to be cherished and nurtured. Here is what the bible says -
Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honour among all
Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife
Ephesians 5:22-33 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the Church
I didn't go into my marriage thinking that every day would be a dream, nor that I would always feel 'in love' with my husband every day. I fully realise that a good marriage is about hard work, compromise, upset, difficult decisions and angst as well as the flip side of joy, delight, companionship, support, respect and contentment.

I'm sure my vision of marriage does not fill some people with the desire to run out and do it, they want to read about passion, excitement, heady heights and amazing moments but those things just last a few weeks, months or if you are super lucky years. I'm in this for the long haul - til death us do part.

And if you are married then I hope you are too. Your marriage is really important and it must be cherished. If things feel hard and you are pondering separating or divorcing then please talk to each other. Try harder, see if you can work it out, seek external help. Explore every avenue, be really honest with each other and forgive if you need to. Don't hold onto those past hurts because they help no-one.

In short please don't give up on marriage. Join me in the forever club.

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