Saturday 10 March 2012

I am so fed up of you judging us

I just don't get it. I really don't.  What makes you decide that I am doing it wrong?  What makes you the expert on how a parent should act? Who made you perfect?  Because let's be honest, is it your job to be judging anyone?  I seriously do not think so.  For me, I start from a biblical standpoint and look at Luke chapter 6:41-42

"And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye."

You may not refer to the bible as I do, but I expect most people in life would agree that you should not be judging and condemning people for their bad habits nor the mistakes they make, as it is highly unlikely that you are without any sins yourself.

Let me ask you this?  Am I a terrible parent, one who deserves to be publicly humiliated?

No, you may shout at me, but let me tell you that when I was pregnant with my twins I was about 7 stone overweight, then whilst pregnant I continued to eat what I fancied and led the life I chose to lead.  I was not proud to be so fat but at the time I felt pretty powerless to change it.  Do you know what risks I was taking by being so overweight?  I put my babies at risk, I easily could have had pregnancy induced diabetes and I did in fact have pre-eclampsia, which of course is more prevalent in overweight women.  Whilst the pre-eclampsia was controlled by drugs and did not turn out to be a problem, pre-eclapsia is only one step away from eclampsia and perhaps death for mother and/or babies. It could have been a big deal but I am so pleased to say that no-one bothered me or criticised me for being overweight, I just received love and support.

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More than can be said of Stacey Solomon, the TV presenter who is currently pregnant with her second child.  Now I am no media bunny, I don't generally have a clue what is going on with celebs most of the time but she has always appeared to me to be a loving mum of the child she already has.

But what did she do so wrong this last week?  Shock and horror she had a cigarette, someone please put her in the stocks for a public flogging, for this is surely a crime against our sinless and blameless society.  Our morals, ethics and example lives are so superior that surely we can all condemn Stacey for her evil legal doings.

Even worse, it was not just a one-off cigarette she has a habit of about 2 a day. Can you believe it?  I certainly can, I am 38 years old and I am pretty sure my Mum smoked during at least one of her pregnancies and it was not a major problem. It was pretty much common practise then that most people smoked and that you may still smoke while pregnant.  Times have changed in the last few decades that is for sure.

I'll make it clear now, I'm not a smoker.  I have never had a smoking habit and I hate the smell of cigarettes.  I do not advocate anyone smoking while pregnant in this day and age when we know the risks but it is not my decision to make for another person.  It is not your decision either.  In this case only Stacey and perhaps the baby's father have a say in what she should be doing.

If society is so quick to condemn Stacey and a gambling company (oh yes such a clean and pure institution) so ready to strip Stacey of her job as the Mum of the Year judge then surely they should be condemning me for my eating habits while pregnant and you for having a glass of wine or two while pregnant and what about you, who was told to rest up and you still choose to go to work? We all make our own decisions.  Most people take risks and do not live a perfect life...  but we try our best and that should be enough.

Until you walk in someone else's shoes please stop judging and condemning them.  It makes me just furious....

What do you think? Do we all have a right to judge each other?  Is it just human nature to do so?
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