Sunday 4 October 2009

This parenting lark isn't too easy!

I have been wanting to write this entry for ages. I have had the title in my head and even about 2 weeks ago I had some things I wanted to say! lol Today I feel a bit of a brain block but I am hoping that if I start typing, it will all come flowing out....

Being a parent is really tough, or should I say striving to be a semi-decent parent is really tough. The actual having sex, making a baby and even having that said baby was easy by comparison.

How do you influence these little people in a good way? Well the best thing would be to live a saintly life and never to show the many character defects that I have and to show them by example how to be a well-rounded adult with a good sense of fun and responsibility. One problem - I would have to be living that myself to be able to show them and I am very much an imperfect being. I get stressed, anxious, cross, irrational - I shout and sometimes I even lash out in anger. I am not at all proud of some of the ways I behave but I am sane enough to know that I am not the worst parent out there and nor am I the best. So I think the facts that I am very aware of the need to grow emotionally and spiritually to enhance my character, and also that I am working the 12 steps to try and be a better person will mean that I am doing the best I can for my small people. At the end of the day, the best I can do is all I can offer!

Well that is not the route I intended this post to take! lol My original plan for this blog entry was to talk about some of the things that are really testing me at the moment - like Miss M's defiance or Miss E's whinging or even JJ's lack of listening and learning skills. How many times can you take something away from a child or show them their actions have consequences without them learning at all! absolutely loads is the answer in our house. What I have remembered from this exercise is that we are supposed to praise the good and ignore the bad. So whilst I had been acting on the naughty stuff he had been getting attention that way, rather than praising him for the good stuff. So Thursday we started a reward chart again and yes his behaviour has been much better - bingo! Sometimes us parents just have to stop and pause or pray so that we have time to think and clear our heads to see what a good solution to the problem may be.

Also today, I had the stair gate open to the kitchen and Miss E was able to come in and help me unload the dishwasher = no whinging! I forget how much they love me, I am the center of their world and they just want to be with me all the time and to help me. I should be flattered and yet sometimes I am just short-tempered and trying to get on with chores whilst shouting shhhh!

I need to remember that my babes are the most important things in my life (along with dh) and that I should show them that. xxx
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