My Favourite Day Of The Week.... Sunday

What is your favourite day of the week? Do you even have one?

I have heard people say many different things before - Friday, as it is classically the last day of the working week, Wednesday as the bulk of the working week is then over, Saturday as it is a day to shop and relax or just no getting up for the school run in the morning.

Well my favourite day of the week by far is Sunday. That is my sabbath, my chill day. The day my family gets to be together and we go to Church and do you know what? I love it, it is not a chore at all. It is something I look forward to each week. Often I will go twice in one day and that is not from necessity either - it is pure desire on my part.

Here is a few pics of my family at Church - do we look bored?

We have been going to this Church for just over 2 years now and it is fab. I never imagined I would got to such a vibrant Spirit-led Church. If you ever fancy coming with me to see what it is all about - just ask!

Sunday is also the time, when all my family are together and we can go out and enjoy each others company - here are the kids at a garden centre, pretending they are at Santa's door! Can you tell which ones the show offs are??



Today, Miss E and I spent about an hour together, alone and she revealed in it! We have done it many times before and every time she gets excited and tells me that it is special, just for me and her 'cos we is best friends Mummy'. So here is a picture of Miss E and her best friend in the whole wide world - yes folks - that's me! How beautiful is that?


Lastly a couple of snippets from the mouth of JJ this week. He really is turning out to be a funny little soul.
Me - Daddy is going to do some painting on Wednesday babe, you can help him if you like. You can be his apprentice.
JJ - What's an apprentice Mummy?
Me - Someone learning a new skill from a master or a trainee.
JJ - No Mummy, I must be the master and Daddy can learn from me, because you told me he is Mr X and I am Master X.
Well I suppose he is right, there was no answer to that!!
and I leave you with this classic -
JJ - Daddy, was Camden (as in London) named after David Camden?? (Current PM).

Pop over and visit Marilyn at Pure Unadultered Softhistle and see what other Sunday Snippets people have to share with you!

Enjoy your week, Mich x

Operation Christmas Child - Box Packing Tutorial

Last week the kids and I made up our Christmas present shoeboxes ready for collection by the Samaritans Purse Operation Christmas Child team. The kids had super fun and keep asking me if they can make more, but one each is plenty for this year. I am organising a collection from JJ's school and the local toddler group have also got involved now too, so we expect to get a good number of boxes to send off.

Here my kids show you in pictures how to easily make up your box. They do not have to cost the world. The three boxes that we made up probably cost me about £15 in total and then, of course, you make a £3 donation per box to help with the cost of transporting the box abroad (it is now £5 in 2020).

The reason they cost so little is that I love to shop around and find a good deal, I also keep wrapped McDonald's toys when the kids get duplicates and I keep the little toys from party bags. I buy bits all year round when they are in the sale, such as the after Christmas sales. Also, you have to remember that you may not want a pack of 2 toothbrushes from Tesco for 10p (yes 10p really!) but to a child who has very little that is a treat for them.

So I urge you not to be discouraged from doing this on the basis that it will cost a lot, it really does not have to. All the items in the boxes we made were new and at £5 a box that is worthwhile.

Also what a fab opportunity to talk to your children about how fortunate they are and that children abroad may not have the basics like water, enough food or clothing, let alone a DSi or bike.

Box Packing Steps

So, take an ordinary shoebox (medium-sized) (or as of 2013 you can use an approved OCC Go box and not have to worry about wrapping it!)

Wrap it all up in nice festive kiddie paper, inside and out. The box may turn out to be as big a thrill for the recipient child as the goodies inside!

Pick some toys, boiled sweets, soap and flannel, toothbrush and paste, pens and pencils, gloves, hats etc etc ready to fill your boxes. Each year check what is on the approved items list, as it can change and I have noticed that in 2020 you can no longer send toothpaste or boiled sweets, due to increased import restrictions.

Here the kids make their dash to get the things for their boxes. They made one each for a child of the same age and sex as them.

Here is Miss E with her filled box, look how proud she looks.

The contents from one completed box for a young girl.

The three boxes all wrapped, don't forget to stick on your sticker to show what age and sex the box is aimed at.

Then include with your box the wallet containing the donation or better still donate your £5 per box online and print off the barcode (2020). We also include a Christmas card for the child with an encouraging message for them and a photo of my children who have lovingly made the boxes for the recipient child.

and here they are all complete and ready to go to school next week....

We hope you enjoy making your box!

Why not pin this post for later?

Does My 3 Year Old Really Need A DS?

Well, my instant answer to that, is NO. Why would a 3 year old need a DS, PSP, XBox, Wii or any other type of computer game console .....but maybe that is just because I am not that interested in computer games? Or maybe it is just because I am lucky enough to have twins and therefore my 3 year old always has another 3 year to play with and thus they can do exactly what I think 3 year olds should be doing - imaginative play. The girls like to play doctors, hairdressers, Mummies, cafe's, shops, post offices etc etc. Most days I am bought an imaginary cup of tea and a cake or I have my hair put up in a very 'classic' design and I do not mind this one bit. If not imaginative play then we go out to the park, make puzzles, play board games, do cutting and sticking, get the play doh out - anything that has their hands and minds working together.

I always worried I would be a pushy mother but I have learnt that actually I am not. I never sit and do letter formations with the girls, we do not spell words out, my two can not write their names - so what, they are 38 months! We count as part of our play, we bounce on the trampoline and we bake cakes - all far more healthy I feel.

Yes sometimes the TV is on and the kids zone out for a while and relax while I make the dinner or sort the washing (or even pop on to view a blog or two!).

Now I do not write this post to judge you if your 3 year old has a DS or similar, it just seems completely alien to me. Why do they have one? Enlighten me.

My two have never been on a PC/ laptop. Do they need to? Will they be slower at school because they have not? I seriously doubt it.

I have this fear that if I give everything to my kids at an early age what is there for them to look forwards to or work towards as they get older? How will they learn the real value of money if they are bought £100 presents at age 3 and then want a new game every couple of months at £20 - £40 a pop. I love it that you can give JJ 3 boxes, a couple of postcards, bottle tops and some sticky tape and he can make a toy he will play with for days.

JJ has a DS, he got his when he was 6. Old enough to understand that money does not grow on trees and that he had to save his pocket money, birthday money or such when he wants a new game. He has a strict time limit on how long he can play for and we vet the games he is allowed. Call us controlling and I will answer 'yes and rightly so!'. This is our babe who we want to teach strong values to.

Here is my Mummy Manifesto -

• My children will not be encouraged to grow up too quickly.


• My children will wear modest, age appropriate children's clothes.


• My children will read fairy tales and stories about 'nice' things.


• My children can watch kiddie programmes on TV and should not to be exposed to phrases such as 'Loser' on Spongebob or 'Whatever' on Phineas and Ferb.


• However, my children will also have TV free playtime every day.


• I think it is important that children play outside every day and are allowed to get messy and to make a mess.


• My children will be encouraged to cook with me and to enjoy and have fun with all types of food.


• I think that variety is the spice of life and it is good for my kids to try all sorts of things.


• I believe that children should sometimes play alone, sometimes play with friends and sometimes play with their parents. They will gain something different from each of these interactions.


• My children will be involved in age appropriate household chores. They will pick up after themselves and learn to help me/dh too.


• My children will learn to make their own choices about money and how it is to be spent or saved.
  
• I will do everything I can to ensure that my children grow up knowing just how lucky they are and that many in the world have nothing in comparison to them.
  

What have I missed off my manifesto? Tell me what is important to your family?

The Gallery: Words That Saved My Marriage!

You Look Sexy in Red!

Written on a card and sent with a big bunch of 12 beautiful red roses, delivered to my work. So unexpected and so welcome. The sign I needed that things would be OK, that we would work out.

This was the red jumper that prompted that comment! I love red, I wear it often. I would go as far as to say it is my trademark colour.

So what is the story behind the comment? Well this is the short version (without the gory details, sorry about that). I share lots here but nothing personal about my dh. Some things are sacred in a marriage.

It was November 2000 and (now) dh and I had split up. We had our wedding already booked for September 2001 but called it off, losing deposits and we placed our apartment on the market. There was no future for us, too many things were wrong, too many things that were too different about us. It was the end. I was sad. He was sad. There was no 'us' anymore.

Then one night I came home from work to find a note in the apartment saying that dh was staying at his parents but he wanted to talk, he did not want to give up on us after 6 stormy years. He was willing to change and make an effort. Meet him at this gorgeous Italian restaurant if I wanted to talk and to try to sort things out. I have to be honest I did not hold out much hope.... but he came through. He has worked his butt off over the last 10 years and we are happier now than we have ever been. I have also tried. It is never one sided in a marriage. We do not take our marriage, our relationship, our family or our great life for granted. You have to work hard at keeping these things alive.

If things ever seem beyond hope, I would just say - Don't give up on your marriage too early. Try hard, try really hard! Good things are always worth saving.

Dh and I have now been together for 16 years and been married for 8 of them.

We rock!!

This post was written for Tara's Gallery. It is hosted over at Sticky Fingers. Her prompt this week was 'the colour red'. This was prompted by Halloween but as Christians we do not partake in Halloween and as such I just had to go with my gut. Red always makes me think of this comment and how very excited I was to get those flowers and to feel hope, love and passion again.

Notes To Myself.....

Dear Mich,

I have a few things I want to say to you, so sit back and listen. Listen good girl, as I am getting a bit fed up with you and frankly I have to be with you 24/7 so we need to be getting along!

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Remember this important lesson - It is not nice to be a bitch!

When you were at work on Tuesday talking about a colleague, thinking that they had gone home, they hadn't - they were just in another part of the office and I expect they may have heard everything you said. Now this in itself is not a real problem as everything you said was true and probably things that the person needed to hear. They are hard to approach and unfortunately their unpredictability or seemingly bad moods does create an atmosphere in the office. However, you may have really offended or hurt this person in the unprofessional way you were talking. You were in short Mich, being a bitch. There the truth has been spoken.

I know you are sorry now for the way this happened and this important lesson has been learnt. It is never your aim to hurt people and because of that you won't be doing this again in a hurry - will you? If you can not say anything nice - keep your mouth shut and frankly Mich you do not need to be involved in everything - mind your own business!

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Go and see the doctor if you are worried about your fingers. No, it is not normal to have 2 fingers and your thumb constantly hurting when you try to bend them. My totally untrained opinion is that it might be the start of arthritis, I know you feel you are too young but either that or RSI. Don't go goggling girl as you will just scare yourself, go and see the doc and get an informed opinion please.

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I am happy to see you have not been on twitter this week. You know you do not really enjoy it, 140 characters is never going to be enough for you! Continue with your blog and talk to your friends - email, facebook, real life. You have tons of them, no need to search for validation or community in any other way.

In the same vein, I am pleased you have given yourself the OK to be away from this blog for a few days. It has been good to just be and to chill, watch some TV, spend time with my hubbie and family. Blogging is not the be all and end all, it amazes me how much this can absorb your life.

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Right onto the subject you keep trying to avoid. You need to start being focused on your eating and get yourself a food sponsor again. You had the realisation tonight of who you should ask. So ask her, get planning your food and get abstinent again. Wouldn't it be nice to be a bit slimmer for the Xmas party season? You know you feel fat and yuck right now.

You know that once you start to do the footwork God will start to take care of things in this area and the sponsor that you crave will make them self known to you. The future is bright, you just need to do some work to make sure all the good things happen.

You know that when you are in the food, you can be a crap person to be around, especially for your kids. Shouting is just not nice and NOT necessary. Note this Mich and live it. Love them and they will learn to love. Just think of that verse you published a short while back.

Right I think that is enough of a talking to. I have got your attention haven't I Michelle? Yes, well let me just also say to balance all this shit that most of the time you are pretty ace. You love your kids, hubbie and family and you appreciate all they do for you and you show them love. That's a really good start.

Keep working Mich.......

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Cheers. enjoy the weekend. Mich x

Sunday Snippets

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Marilyn over at Pure Unadulterated Softthistle has started a great new blog hop. So I thought I would support her and join in. Go and visit and check out some great blogs.

Us bloggers tend to view everything that happens in our lives or the things said to us as good blog fodder. The problem being that if we blogged everything we would be writing 10 post a day, every day and most would only have 2 or 3 lines. So Marilyn's idea is that we will keep all these snippets and post them together at the end of the week = Sunday Snippets - Get it? I think it is a great idea.

So here are the snippets this week from our house -

Upon picking JJ up from camp last Sunday:
JJ - So Mummy, Has Miss E got chickenpox?
Me – No darling the doctor says she has a virus
JJ – Don’t be silly, only computers get viruses!! (21st century kids hey?)
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I turn the radio on and UB40 and Chrissie Hyde start to sing ‘I got you babe’.

This was the classic response from JJ. This sounds like the Zingzilla’s Mummy!
Does it babe???? Lmao
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Lying in bed with Miss E reading her a story:
Miss E – This is special, just for me and you Mummy, cos we is best friends.
Me – Yes sweetie, you have been a good girl.
Miss E – Not Miss M, she very naughty. What we do with her Mummy? Dustbin?
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Then in bed together on another evening. Having a goodnight cuddle:

Miss E - Mummy you stay in my bed forever

Miss M - Yes forever and ever in our bedroom

Miss E - No Miss M, Daddy get lonely, Mummy has to sleep in his bed!

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Driving to town the other day:
JJ - You see that S on that car Mummy? Do you know what it means?

Me - No babe, what?

JJ - It means they are stupid. Daddy said S is for stupid driver!

Ohh good, thanks dh for teaching our son this!

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Sitting watching Nick Junior with Nanny:

Miss M - My want that, My want that, May what that (at every advert that comes on)

Nanny - Oh maybe for Christmas

Miss M - Yes, My want everything Nanny

So true!

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The girls have a new game. It is great! They call it camper van. Basically it means they strip their beds and their bookcase and put a ton of toys, clothes, bed covers etc etc in a big pile and pretend to be driving in their camper van. Look how happy they are - How can I argue?

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At Church today we were encouraged to shout out our thanks to the Lord for all he provides. JJ wanted to shout thank you God for sweets and chocolate. I giggled when he told me this and he said 'Maybe I better change it to thank you God for fruit and vegetables'! He gave a few of us a good chuckle.

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In the car on the way to swimming lesson, I am happily singing along to Perfect 10 by Beautiful Soft. I sing all the time, I always have done:

JJ - Mum you can actually sing - can't you?

Me -Well I try my best.

JJ - Yes, your voice really suits this song.

Why thank you babe, So glad it only took 7 years for you realise my talents!

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We made our Operation Christmas Child Show boxes on Sunday. The kids had a ball, though Miss M is not too pleased to be parting with her box. She suggests we make a new one for the other kids! I'll be posting later this week showing how you can make up your own shoe box for a needy child. Come back and check it out. It is quick, simple, fun and does not cost much to us but means the world to a needy child.

Being A Twin.....

Being a twin is a fab thing!

Here are some of the reasons why being a twin must be great, as observed by me -

* Someone to wipe your nose for you (yes they grab tissues and do each others noses) or more recently they have even wiped each other bums....
* Someone to kiss you or stroke you when you cry, who needs a Mum when you have a twin?
* Someone to always play with (or fight!).



* Someone to lay the blame on - 'No Mummy Miss E did it, she took JJ's toy!'
* Bath time is far more fun when there is someone to tip jugs of water over....
* When you do not fancy sleeping, there is someone to giggle with in your bedroom.
* A double size wardrobe - you always have something to wear! (unless of course you are boy/ girl twins!)
* You never get lonely in the buggy or the car.
* Everyone wants to chat to you in your buggy and tell you how cute you are as there are two of you. Sadly this goes as the kids get older, especially if like mine they look different.
* Someone who will share their food with you. You like meat, I like potatoes, yay double portions of just the bits we really like if we swap.
* If you do not fancy speaking, there is someone who will answer for you. Or sometimes as is the case here, you may fancy speaking but your twin (or big brother for that matter) has already jumped in and answered for you!
* Someone to share your first day at school or nursery with! No need to be nervous, you have got your twin!
* You can make twice the mess in half the time! 4 hands are definitely better than two when it comes to destruction!



I am sure there are many more, it is so lovely to watch them interacting and growing together. Being a twin is a very special thing, being a twin Mummy is a massive privilege. I do hope my beauties will be good friends forever.

I expect when they are older I might be doing the exact opposite post to this, why it is a nightmare to have a twin..... she nicks your clothes, your boyfriend, is always in your bedroom etc etc

The majority of this post was originally published back 15 May 2009 before my blog was open and people read it. I have re-posted this (and amended it to update) to join in with the Multiples Mayhem blogging carnival being held over at Mari's World on 25 October 2010.

Notes From The Heart...

Dear JJ,


Thank you so much for being you. I am loving being your Mummy right now. In some ways, you are wise beyond your years. I said to Daddy the other day that your behaviour has been so much better in the last couple of weeks and he said not better, just different - more grown-up. Yes, you still have those quirks that make you JJ and get you into trouble at times, but I have to count my blessings at what a delight you can be. How many just 7-year-olds get their uniform out each night without being prompted, can shower and get ready for bed themselves, help their sisters in the tasks they can not do, set and clear the table, tidy the playroom and numerous other tasks you know will make me happy. Like you say it means we can spend time together snuggling or playing.

I love you, big boy.


Mummy xxx
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Miss E,
How grown-up are you getting? You know your own mind, delight in music, love Mummy cuddles and would rather be playing on the swings than anything else. I delight in being outdoors with you as you notice the Daddy Long Legs missing a leg, the mushrooms in the woods and the colours of the trees. Yes, darling, the trees on the walk to school are very pretty at the moment and it is clever that the tree is both green and yellow in different places at the same time. No, I have no idea why you have to ask wise daddy that one!



You are my poppet!

Mummy xxx
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Miss M,

My little nemesis. I know you have felt poorly the last couple of nights and it has been just divine to have you in my bed for snuggles. When you cry that your mouth hurts I can hug and sshh you while stroking that silky soft hair. Boy, do you have a character! I always said I wanted strong-minded kids and I certainly got them. Be careful what you wish for they say! but you know what, Mummy would not change you at all. It is my job to teach you how to reign in that attitude and to learn to toe the line whilst still having your own strong identity and self-confidence.

I'll try my best for you all babe.

Mummy xxx
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Hey Babe,


Have I told you lately I love you? Not sure why but at the moment I feel as if I love you more than any other time. I suppose some of it might come from how proud of you I am. You have tackled some big stuff in the last few years and made so much headway this year and then with your sharing at Church too.

You rock let's spend some 'us' time together very soon.

Mich xx
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Dear PTA Noticeboard at School,

Did you think it was funny to collapse while I was trying to put a poster up and after most of the parents had left? There I was stood on a bench holding your enormous glass cover in the air and if I let go you were going to crash to the ground. Yes very funny! Thank goodness for that woman who offered to help after I had stood there for 10 minutes and wondered how on earth I was going to get the caretakers attention!

I hope he can sort you out and you behave next time I come to visit!

Michelle (ex-treasurer)
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Dear Readers,

Have you heard of Operation Christmas Child? Ever seen the scheme where you fill a decorated shoe box with gifts for a child in a developing country? Well, we will be joining in with this as a family and I am co-ordinating it for JJ's school. So if you are local and would like to join in let me know and I can collect your completed box from you in the week beginning 6 November 2010.

This is such a worthwhile cause. Just think what your children will receive this year and then imagine the joy that a box of goodies brings to a child who does not have any other gifts.

What an amazing chance to make our children realise just how lucky they are.

I hope you will join me. There are collections points countrywide if you are not local. I will be doing a post over the weekend showing you how we make our boxes.

Thanks a lot, Michelle

PS - thanks for all the new followers and also for those who have 'liked' my Facebook fan page. Leave me a comment and I can come to visit you.

The Gallery: My Beautiful Mummy

This weeks prompt has been my hardest yet. How can you do this to us Tara? Do you like to torture us? When you know that you have about 60-100 people that link up with you each week who all love photography and/ or photos as memorabilia and then you say 'oh just choose one and tell me why that is your favourite'.

Really, is that fair? Now if you said, choose 100 and share them with me we might be in business!

So I spent ages going through my albums and the 1000's of images on my external drive and I was just not getting anywhere. 'Ohh I love that one', 'ahh remember that dh?', 'look at my babies'. You get the picture. This was H.A.R.D.

So in the end I went for a walk around my house, which totally in contrast to Ann Maurice's (The House Doctors) advice is completely covered in personal photos and I decided that they must be my favourites as they were the ones I choose to display all the time and I do change some, so it was not as if they were just still there due to laziness (not in this house! lol).

This is the one I went for. It is not the best quality in the world and that is because this is a photo of a photo. It is not a photo I took, it was part of the professional ones taken for my wedding (yes I did buy the rights to reproduce them).

Meet my Mummy. This was taken on my wedding day in July 2002.

Have you seen me blog before about what a great family I have and how lucky I am, well this lady is at the heart of that. She is the one who devoted most of her life to bringing up my brother and I. I remember that I always had a wonderful relationship with my Mum, when I was young we played together, as I got older we shopped together, when my heart was broken I cried to her and here we are a few hours before my wonderful wedding sharing some fun together. She had stayed at my house that night before with my best friend and we had a chilled girlie night. She may now just have entered her sixties but her attitude is often more youthful than mine!

When I do not see my Mum for a couple of weeks I get withdrawal symptoms and she is the same. Who is my kids favourite person in the world? If we are lucky they might say dh or I but generally especially from JJ, Nanny H will be right up there at the top of the list.

What is it that makes this lady so special? Such a wonderful Mummy? Such an ace Nanny?

I do not know, I can not put my finger on it. She just has that special ingredient that makes you want to love her and spend time with her.

An Attitude of Gratitude

Today is a good day, no scrap that, today is a GREAT DAY!

Right here and right now I am in a good place.

I am a lucky woman, I am loved, I have the capacity to love back, I do not feel aggrieved, I do not feel hurt, sad, bitter or disappointed. I am just simply Happy.

Today anything is possible...... the world is my oyster.

For all this love in my heart I want to do a post showing my attitude of gratitude. When I have this attitude the world is a far nicer place. Have you noticed that when you wake up happy and in a good mood your day goes much better? Wouldn't life be simple if we just made a choice each day to be happy and fulfilled and not to let the small stuff grind us down.

So here is my list of things from the last few days that have led to me being in this good place - long may it last!

1. Taking JJ to his snow ringos party and watching my little man love whizzing down the slope in -4 degrees.


2. Going to camp and just sitting there for a few hours, enjoying watching my kids play and simply chatting to other adults. How amazing to have stepped out of the rat race that is my life and just to 'be' for a few hours. Arriving Saturday I saw my handsome husband without an ounce of stress on his face after spending a day in the great outdoors with 23 kids!


3. For Miss E being a pretty good patient when she was poorly over the weekend. She tried to be a poppet even when she felt too poorly to eat or drink.


4. For all the great trainees I have on the training course I am running this week.


5. For the amazing time I had at bible study last night. For the great study led by Iris and her beautiful prayer. Also for the prayers and uplifting from all the members of my house group. It was a night to remember.


6. For the realisation that God loves me more than I could ever imagine, for the realisation that he is patient and does not anger with me, he will keep waiting on me to change and to submit myself to him so he can help me change. One day I will not be enclosed in the prison that is compulsive over-eating.


7. For my faith! I seriously wonder how people survive in this world full of so much evil and unhappiness when they do not have something true and steadfast to hold onto.
   

On the way to work today I was listening to one of my CD's and a song came on that I have not heard for ages but one that always makes me sit back and listen, raising the hairs on the back of my neck. I thought I would share with you. If you are a Christian friend or you have read this blog for some time you will know this song and know that I have an 'ever so small' crush on Tim!

Probably The Best Homework In The World......

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or maybe not!

I am starting to wonder about some of the homework that JJ is being sent home with. He has just turned 7 and he is one of the older kids in his class, Year 2. He only has homework once per week and then we are also expected to read with him and do to do spellings and phonics to help him learn new words and to spell. That is all fine but I am starting to wonder about some of the homework he is being sent home with! My expectation is that his homework should be academic in nature. In year 1 it alternated between maths and literacy and I would have expected that to continue.

Three weeks ago I nearly wrote this post when JJ was sent home with the homework to make an A4 Rainbow Fish to go on a display at school. He could colour, decorate, collage the fish how he liked to make it nice and bright and they requested he write a few descriptive words by the side to use on the display wall. At the time I thought fab, we are a crafty family. What great homework all the kids can make fish and we will have a Saturday crafting session.

Then last week his homework was to design a Harvest Festival poster. So yet again crafty and now today he has come home with the homework to make a rabbit puppet! Yes he enjoyed it and again it was no fuss for us as we love to create and have loads of stocks of materials but has it challenged him academically - I seriously doubt it!

I am questioning myself what it has taught him? Am I just out of date and not all homework should be maths and English nowadays? Anyone in the know, any teachers out there? I would definitely appreciate your wisdom on this.

I suppose to give them their dues, JJ did come home with a set of instructions of how to make the puppet and he had written these himself from instruction given to them in class. So the exercise was about following instructions, but still I am not convinced - can you tell?

What do you think?

What Could Your Child Be Trying To Tell You?

I know I am guilty of saying 'just one minute', 'hang on JJ', 'yes be with you soon', 'just let me finish peeling the potatoes' or doing the hoovering or a number of other totally unimportant tasks! Are you? I expect so. I think most of us Mums hear the word Mummy so much that it is hard to instantly respond every time and we should not have to, right? We do not want to end up with pampered and spoilt kids, used to us being at their beck and call.

But are there times when we really ought to stop and listen to our kids? Not only listen but hear and see what they are saying? Most definitely.

When a child tries to talk to you a number of times and you always fob them off, what will they learn? They will learn that Mummy does not have time to chat with them and inadvertently they may form the opinion that Mummy does not love them enough to take that time. So why bother? If the answer is always the same,'in a minute'then why would they keep bothering?

So why am I harping on about this? Yes it is an important lesson for me and one I will do well to remember but the trigger was Waterloo Road last night. The drama that is shown on BBC1. Have you seen it? (For those who have not or the non Brits it is a drama based on a gritty Northern secondary school and it tackles real life issues. I think I have heard that real teachers cringe at it but I enjoy it!).

The story line last night made me so sad. A little lad was being bullied (I assume he is supposed to be about 12) and he kept trying to talk to people and they kept brushing him off. So what did he do - he stuffed his face and made himself sick. This small boy already had full blown Bulimia. Making himself sick 4 or 5 times a day. His immature little brain told him that if you are hurting and don't like your emotions then the answer is to stuff your face and to sooth the pain. I know that feeling very well. Luckily I am old enough to realise this now and I am trying to do something about it. I have never been down the bulimia route but all eating disorders share similarities in the fact that we all turn to food instead of dealing with the emotion or pain we should actually be feeling.

So yet again I urge you, listen to your child. Stop cooking and take 5 minutes to really concentrate on what they are saying. They might be trying to tell you they are being bullied or they feel angry. Help them to learn to deal with their emotions. In my opinion one of the greatest lessons we can teach a child is how to deal with their own anger in a positive manner and not to just brush it under the carpet.

I am very pleased to see awareness being raised - bulimia is a very real problem, even in male teenagers but I worry about it being on at 8pm at night and passing ideas to impressionable young adolescents.

There is so much to worry about as a parent. We can not protect our kids from everything but we can give them some love and attention and try to help them grow up to be well-rounded adults.

Have I given you some food for thought?

Image Credit

Eating Moderately For The Rest Of My Life!

It is second look Saturday again and today I am featuring a short post that I did back on 24 November 2009. This is as strong reminder to me today as it was a year ago. Eating moderately is the way forward, it is about living in the day rather than eating to forget!
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Each day I read from a book called 'For today' and the reading I had today really stirred something in me. It talked about my past life being filled with diets and that these generally had a life span, ie: you would diet for Christmas, an occasion or a holiday and when that date came you would over indulgence and the downward spiral would start again.

It mentioned the change in my thinking which makes it a pleasure to use the power of my program to eat moderately on days when excess is the norm. That is very comforting to me, I think about Christmas and wonder how I will survive this Christmas without binging. The answer is I will not buy many of the old foods that we once enjoyed and for those visiting my house I am sure they love me enough to understand that it is more important for me to appear inhospitable and not offer them excessive food and to remain abstinent.

So today I am reminded that what I was first told when I entered ED is true, that even the worst abstinent day is better than any day where I was eating to excess.

Parenting Hurts! Detentions for 6 year olds???

I have had a good cry this morning! I felt so sad and I did not know what to do about it. I wanted to submit and eat and try to stifle my emotions and not to feel but I knew that would solve nothing and I had prayed for the ability to be strong today and to remain abstinent. I have not eaten on this, that is a minor miracle. Thank you Lord.

What made me cry? My little man, or maybe not him directly but circumstances surrounding him. I am not even sure why it made me cry, I think it might of been the release after the rubbish assessment last week. The one I took so calmly. I know one thing for sure, being a parent really does hurt. Every little thing our kids go through, we go through with them and with our added years of life experience it hurts us far more than it hurts them.

At school yesterday lunchtime there was an incident in the playground, one involving my JJ. I picked him up from school and saw nothing of the teacher, I was not asked to come into class or anything. JJ has a chart each day which monitors his behaviour (he has a tendency to call out and monopolise lessons, so this helps him to focus and to be able to understand what is reasonable and acceptable behaviour in the classroom). He told me he had 2 sad faces on his chart that day. He said he did not want to tell me why, so I probed and he said he had been crying (he does this fairly often at school nowadays, it is as if he has no control over how his emotions wash over him). He had cried as he had hurt a little girl C at lunchtime when they were playing. He was swinging a hoop making noise and it had hit her. He told me it was an accident and he had apologised. We talked about being careful and having our own space and then I thought nothing more of it, these kind of clumsy accidents happen a lot in World JJ.

We went to Wild Wednesday, a lovely outreach initiative at a local church and one of JJ's teachers was there. She is a great lady and has a real love for all children. I said to her I had heard JJ was upset and we talked a little about him and she told me he had a good day in the classroom it was just the lunch incident and he would go to lunch club the next day. She said this was a positive initiative to help him understand that his behaviour has consequences. It was busy there, I was looking after the three kids doing craft etc so I moved on. It was only when I was at home talking to dh later that we thought about this lunch club and realised it sounded a lot like detention. Can that be right? A detention for a 6 year old who hurt someone by accident and then I had not even been informed of it by school. This seemed strange to us so I decided to investigate it this morning.

At school I briefly spoke to JJ's teacher who had been absent yesterday and he confirmed JJ would go to the lunch club with the Deputy Head but as he was not there he did not know much of the incident. I then saw C's Mum and apologised to her that C had been hurt. She tells me that the girls had been playing a game and JJ had been trying to wake one of them and hit C with the hoop as he tried to wake the other little girl. Nasty and hurtful but still sounds like an accident to me. I agree JJ needs to understand that he is a big boy for his age and that his actions have consequences but more and more I want to cry. I start to feel that my boy is being misjudged, misunderstood and being penalised for an accident. Is it really right for a 6 year old to lose his playtime and to have to eat with a teacher?

By the time I am home I am really sad and hurting for my boy. So I call the school and they agree yesterdays teacher will call me and explain. She explains that JJ has to have lunch with the teacher and discuss appropriate playground behaviour, then he is to draw a picture of good behaviour and he can go out and play. I am pleased to hear that he will get playtime but I still feel I should of been informed if an incident was this serious that it required him spending time with a teacher for lunch. I ask her if they consider that it was an accident or not. I am told JJ hurt C on purpose. I explain that is not what I have been told. We agree to speak later after she investigates more with the children and lunchtime supervisor.

I come off the phone hardly able to say goodbye and I have a good cry. My baby, what to do with him? So full of complexities. I truly do not believe he is just naughty, there is never any malicious intent with him, no smirks and no backchat. I want to be there on the playground each day to protect him and help him to learn to play like everyone else. I think his lack of social skills hurts me more than it hurts him. I need to know what I can do to help him. I need people to think the best of him.

Every fear that a mother has is coming out, I worry so much about my boy having friends to play with. That report from the school referring Jacob for assessment has really stabbed my heart and worried me, when it talks about JJ having no real friends as he tries to have his own way and control the games too much. He is a part of me, I love him so much. I know I need to give this worry away, it is not productive for me to keep it inside and let it eat at me. Please Lord release me from this and let me know what is best for JJ and to act in his best interests.

I have used Josie's prompt 5 from this weeks writing workshop to write this post. That prompt is imperfection, because truly that is what I am! but as long as I keep trying, that is what counts....

The Gallery: Food For Thought!

It is that time of the week again, the Gallery and this week Tara has given us the prompt Food.

Well those of you who know me know this is an awful prompt for me. I could use this gratuitously to show off images of amazing food and then I would start to drawl and remember how much I love food and head straight off to the cupboard. Considering I have been being good around food for the last few days this is not a good idea and I was not prepared to do this. I did consider not posting to the gallery this week but that would be a shame. The food or should I say my obsession, my addiction should not win, I should be able to be in control of my life and be able to do this.

So the pictures I have chosen to share with you are of my kids finishing off the cake we made for dh on his birthday about a month ago. It all looks innocent enough in the first pic....


and then little fingers can not resist any longer...


... and here they are, proud as punch! What a good job they did, with a little help from Mummy (and a nasty burn on Mummy's arm!)


Food holds an important place in our family and already my children have a good love of food and eat a wide variety of foods. These are both great things, what is not so good is that JJ already will tell you his favourite part of a day out was the food or that the highlight of a party was the food. This worries me a little, it could be early signs of the same problem I suffer with. but I can not get hung up on that as who knows what the future will bring.

All we can do as parents is to do our best to promote a healthy diet and a healthy body image. Have you ever thought about the fact that everything you do is watched and noted by your child? scary thought, isn't it? When you say you are on a diet they think that must be a good thing to do as Mummy does it and she is our idol! Or when you gorge on chocolate because you are feeling down, tired or stressed your child learns that is the way to deal with emotions. Do not show them, stifle them.

Have you ever read that verse by Dorothy Law Nolte 'Children Learn What They Live'? Here it is -

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.

This is so true and yet again scares the life out of me. What a big role I have to play in my kids lives. But that is OK. I do not have to be worried or scared. As long as I do my very best that is all that is expected of me and it will be enough.

So here are a few of the strategies that are used at our house to try to ensure that the kids do not grow up with an eating disorder or body issues -

1. I do not go on diets anymore anyway but if I did my kids would never know. Diets are banned, it is not a healthy thing to promote to a child. If I am eating healthy or abstaining from a certain food and my kids offer me chocolate for instance, I will just so no. If asked why I will just reply 'I do not fancy it right now'.
2. Food is not given as treats. Food is just part of life and should not be a reward, that is when it becomes sought after or turned to for comfort.
3. All foods are allowed, moderation is the key. Luxury foods are given at my discretion and not all the time. Children can never help themselves to any luxury foods (sweets, crisps, chocolate, cakes, biscuits, ice cream, desserts and anything like this).
4. The kids do not have to finish everything on their plate to be allowed their pudding after but they do have to have tried everything and eaten an adequate portion.
5. My children are always told they are beautiful, not just for the way they look though but for their character - such as being great fun, being kind, considerate etc. This way if they ever find themselves in a position in older life when they do not like the way they look they have something else to fall on to keep their self-esteem.
6. We try to all eat together at the dining table at least once per day and we try to chat and have fun at the table. This is family time.
7. We try to encourage the children to eat slowly and to savour each mouthful. We also always have water with our meals.
8. We say grace before our meals to thank the Lord for the luxury of having a good meal every day and as a way remembering those who are not as fortunate.

So what are your thoughts? Have I given you some food for thought here? Any tips for me on how you promote healthy eating and body image in your family?

I look forward to reading your comments. Mich x

How To Enjoy Your Childs Birthday, Simple Style!

It is JJ’s birthday next week, he will be a big 7! We are taking him out Sunday and then he will be at school on his actual birthday but we will still celebrate! Here are my 10 simple rules for enjoying your child’s birthday party and not turning this once a year event into a major stress or pocket buster!

1. Do not get drawn into the politics or one upmanship that seems to be the norm at some schools. Just because Peter had a 6ft hand carved pirate ship cake does not mean your child needs one too. Be confident to do your own thing.

2. Just invite the children you want to invite, not the ones whose parents you want to please! At the end of the day your child will know who they play with and this should be the most important thing.

3. Set a limit on the number of children you will invite and stick to it, there will always be that ‘just one more person will not do any harm!’

4. Do not have the party at home. I have only done this once and it was supposed to be the most stress free year. It was not – kids did not want to play the games, they trashed my boy’s bedroom and I had to clear it all up afterwards!

5. On that note, use disposable table wear. Yes I know it costs more but the time you save in clear up is well worth it in my mind and the kids love the novelty table wear. Keep your eye on ebay or your local supermarkets for good deals – buy in advance. You can always put the paper in for recycling.

6. Also, watch out for value/ reduced party bag gifts throughout the year and buy when things are cheap. Or give bigger gifts instead that are on special offer. For my girl’s birthday this year I gave plasticine sets to the kids who came to their party, they were in the sale for £2.49 down from £10.00. A much longer lived gift than a party bag of tat! For JJ’s birthday next week the boys are getting a Ben 10 stationary set which I got for £1.49 in a supermarket clearance sale.

7. If you are providing the food, offer what you want to offer. I know a load of Mums that make up a really healthy buffet and the kids do not touch it. Yes, offer some carrot and cucumber sticks and some grapes and strawberries, things we know that kids like. But ultimately it is a party and just one day, the kids are there to enjoy themselves, so loosen up a little.

8. Alternatively make life even easier for yourself and order pizza online. Most kids love pizza and places like Domino’s offer wedges and chicken now too so you can get some variety. We will definitely be ordering pizza to arrive just after we get home from work on the actual day of JJ’s birthday. This is a treat for him and a lifeline for me, a busy working mum. Plus have you seen some of the good deals they do? You know me a sucker for a bargain!

9. JJ’s birthday party this year is a trip to the cinema with 6 little friends. We are going to a Sunday morning £1.00 showing. Ever thought of doing that? What great value for a 7 year olds birthday, then a walk across to McDonalds afterwards for lunch and a candle in his McFlurry and we are set! A small party does not need to cost the earth but your child will enjoy it. Last year we took JJ and his friends to soft play after school using a buy one get one half price entry voucher and afterwards a 50% off food meal voucher. There is always a deal out there you just have to find it.

10. Lastly, make sure you have enough adults with you so you can relax and enjoy. Watch the delight on your little ones face and savor that special time. There are plenty of other days in the year for you to get stressed out…

Here is the birthday boy JJ himself. To say he is getting excited already is an understatement. Roll on Sunday……

I'm Not Just Fat, I Have A Problem!

This post was originally posted to my blog on 27 January 2010, just after I opened this blog up for public viewing. I got some great comments but I am very aware that my readership is now fairly different to back then and I just felt I wanted to explain a bit about me and my food journey!

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That's right I am fat, I am very overweight.

Currently I am about 15 1/2 stone (I say about as I have no scales at the moment but the belt notch feels about that weight!). At one point I was what they classed as 'morbidly obese' but I am about 2 stone lighter than that now, so I am probably 'very obese'. One day with the grace of God I hope to be just purely overweight. I have no secret longing to be a size 10, I just want to be a healthy weight, a good role model to my kids and living a full life without a crazy obsession with food and weight.

You see that is what my problem is, I am an addict. I do have a very real addiction to food and also to the comfort and release that eating, stuffing my face and stifling my emotions gives. Every day I obsess on food - where my next meal will come from, what will it look like, will it fill me up, how many calories are in it, does it add to my 5 a day etc etc.

It really is not as simple as joining a weight loss club and just losing some weight. People like me who have lost stones and then regained them numerous times in their lives have a problem. A problem which keeps drawing us back to the food. Every time we move away from the day to day feeling of normal life, be it that we have a high or a low we want to celebrate or commiserate with food. So I vow now never to fool myself again and to start a diet, that I just will not keep to.

I expect some people may read this and laugh and wonder what I am on about. Food an addiction? Yes, in exactly the same way as drugs, alcohol, sex, self-harm, shopping, spending, love, soaps on the TV, trash mags or anything else can be. Most of us have some kind of prop in life - mine is food. Some would say it is far less harmful than drugs, at least I won't kill myself - but won't I? What about heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, to name but a few.

It really does take some time to admit to yourself and be ready to say 'Hi my name is Michelle and I am an addict, a compulsive overeater'. I was going to say it is not something I am proud of but actually the fact that I am being brave enough to face up and take this journey does make me proud. For the last 6 weeks or so I have lost the plot, I have rejected most things recommended by the program of addiction recovery that I am following. From this moment on I am back on track and I pray for God to help me, it is through Him that this will work. You do not have to be a Christian like me for this program to work for you, you just need to believe that you are out of control and that there is a stronger being/ higher power in the Universe. For me this is God, for you it might mother nature, Buddha, or your recovery fellowship.

I do get incredibly fed up with the stereotype of a fat lazy person and I want people to see the real me inside, that thin person struggling to get out. Rather than seeing the fat first and the person second. I suppose that is our culture today so much based on image and looks, how can I blame anyone for thinking that I have let myself go and that I am slowly killing myself by being too lazy to get up off my bum and do some exercise.

So here are a few truths which may set the record a bit straighter -

• I do at times eat too much, I have been known to binge but generally my eating is getting better.
• I adore food and just love new tastes and the excitement that comes with knowing I am going out for a nice meal. You see that is the addict in me, food = love and stability and happiness.
• I run around after three kiddies when I am not at work. I have ants in my pants and rarely sit down - always doing something - housework, ironing, gardening, out to shop etc
• I exercise a couple of times per week, I go to the gym or aqua or swim and I enjoy it (once I am there!)

So that is my 'fat story' so far...............................to be continued

Notes From The Heart: JJ Meets the Child Psychologist

Dear Child Psychologist who assessed my JJ today,

I am sorry the NHS puts you under such a tight time line that you had to keep hurrying my husband along and not giving him enough time to talk and answer all the multiple questions you were bombarding him with.

I am sorry that no one saw fit to brief us that we should have been coming to you with at least 10 full exercise books of examples of JJ's behaviour showing why we want some help.

I am sorry (really sorry) that you thought it would be acceptable for JJ to be in the room when you asked my husband to tell you about how he makes friends and his lack of them. Do you really think that a loving Daddy would knock his son's self-esteem just so you can get your answers?

I am sorry that you seem to think we were there to waste your time and that you think my sons behaviour patterns are just down to naughtiness! If only it was that simple, our discipline tactics would have sorted things out long ago. We are not exactly slack parents!

Lastly I am sorry that you appeared to think that we wanted a statement for our son and that we were just after some funding. Would you like to hear what our aim was from this assessment? It was to help us get some answers. Why does JJ act the way he does? Why does he not have any friends? Why does he not understand that sometimes we have to sit still and listen? Why can he not make eye contact? Why does he burst into tears inconsolable when his routine changes? Why does he feel the need to control all situations? why, why, why? Strategies for us to help out little man were all we were after but it appears that you can not provide that....

So yes for the next 6 months until you see JJ again we will keep a log of his behaviour and it will be me coming to see you next time, so watch out as I will have answers for you and I will tell it as it is!

A cross Mummy!
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Dear dh,

I am really, really proud of you today. JJ wanted his Daddy to take him for the assessment and you rose to the challenge and took him. Some Daddies have no interest in their kids, you are ace! Do not feel bad that you could not answer all the questions and that you yourself sometimes find it hard to communicate especially when someone is pressing you. As I said earlier it is God's will that is done. So he knows better than us and this is obviously the right outcome for now.

Love you babe, Mich xxx
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JJ, My Beautiful Little Man,

I love you so much my sweetheart and the realisation I have had today is that I need to be more patient with you. I truly believe that you do not willfully act naughty, it just appears that you have no idea what is OK and what is not so it is my job, as Mummy to help you to learn that and fear, aggression and anger will not teach you anything. So babe we will be having lots of praise, hugs and sweet talking from now onwards.

Mummy xxx
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Miss E,

It is really easy, when you need a wee, you ask Mummy. Got it?

It would make my life so much easier. Thank you poppet.

Mummy xxx
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Miss M,

Nothing burning that I need to say to you this week but it is that twin thing again, where I feel if I write to one I have to write to you both. So all I will say is thanks for being such fun. You make me chuckle and that rocks!

Mummy xxx
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Tommy The Plaster!

You have done an amazing job, thank you so much.

A Happy Customer!
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Dear God,

Thanks for sticking with me. Thanks so much for keeping me away from the food these last couple of days. It makes such a difference to my sanity. I am a much better Mummy when I am not 'in' the food.

Michelle xx
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Dear Readers,

As always thanks for being there and supporting me. It has been a fab week for chatting to people, making new friends and finding new blogs.

I got to 100 followers yesterday and then someone dropped me off their reading list, so I am back to 99 again! doh oh well it will get there in its own good time.

Have a great weekend.

Mich x

Wish Me Luck!

So today has been a good day and I pray this may continue for a long time. I need all the prayers, positive thoughts, luck etc etc that I can get to be able to crack this demon!

But for today things are OK, as today I am back on the band wagon.

• I did not eat on my emotions today


• I did not eat as I was lonely today


• I did not eat as I was bored today


• I did not eat as I was angry today


• I did not eat for any reason other than the fact that I have to eat to live.

Sounds boring? It might be but it is completely necessary for me, a compulsive overeater. I have been out of control the last couple of months. I have known that I have been on a slippy slide into the food but I have not felt able to do anything about it. Boy, does it take a lot of mental effort to be good around food and to abstain from unhealthy behaviours towards food.

I actually feel as if I am starting from scratch again. My weight this morning was 16st 6lb, this is about a stone less than my heaviest weight but about a stone heavier than my lowest recent weight last year. I hope to see the scales go down, the waistbands loosen and the smile on my face expand over the next few months. I feel very positive and ready to give my willfullness up today. This is a big step in itself. I must remember not to get ahead of myself and to stay living in the day - For Today is one of the slogans from my ED meetings and it is very pertinent - I can do today things that might horrify me if I thought I would have to do them forever.

I really enjoyed taking time to read when I woke this morning, first my ED literature and then my Bible. This and chatting to God first thing this morning set me up for a good day. I must make time for this each day. It is a discipline I had got very good at but then in the last month or so even that had slipped away - it was just easier not to bother! But who said life had to be easy?

Sold Out!

So I have started to do the odd review and the odd sponsored post and this seems to be a real hot topic in the blogging world at the moment. I have read a ton of blog posts about this very subject in the last week - can I find any of them now I want to link to them? No, but still..

It seems that people are split into a few camps: those who think bloggers (especially stay at home parents) should be able to earn a small amount from their own blog; those who think it is outrageous and an absolute sell out, that those people doing it are selling their souls to the devil and losing all honesty and integrity; those who feel their blog is more established and have more of a right to the revenue to me made; and lastly of course those who do not blog or just do not care.

I have to say for the record that I fall into the first category. My personal opinion is that everyone has a right to do what makes them happy and what suits their family. If earning a small amount from their blog is right for them then it is OK with me. If I read and feel they have lost their honesty and have sold out to the company, advertising pet insurance when they do not have a pet for example then I just won't read anymore but it is their choose and I won't be chastising them for it!

Many of my readers will fall into the later category, whilst I have some fellow bloggers who stop by and support me many of you are people who I know in real life or in other on-line ventures. I doubt you will be getting involved in a debate as to whether I have lost my marbles and am now 'in bed' with Pizza Hut as I did a sponsored post for them. If you know me at all, you know that I am honest if nothing else, brutally honest many people would say. Very forthright and very open and always talking and writing from the heart.... hence the name of my blog!

So let me assure you dear readers that I will never be doing posts for products I do not engage with nor accepting payments or products for things I do not believe in. If something it sent to me for review and it is rubbish, that is what I will say here. Yes I will try and add a bit of tact but the truth will be told.

Shall I tell you what I plan to do with the money I make from blogging? This is the exciting bit!

All the money that I receive (yes you read that right, ALL) I will be using for good causes. The money I received from the Pizza Hut sponsored post has already been used to start a monthly direct debit to help fund some wonderful work being done with orphans in Malawi by a Christian charity.

As a Christian it is my duty and my honour to be able to share some of the wealth I have with those who have far less. Dh is going to India next February with a Christian Charity to see how he can help out there and many of you know we sponsor a child Carl-Henri in Hiati. Praise the Lord he was well in the earthquake. Who knows what I can do next if I continue to be able to make some money from this blog. So please keep reading and keep commenting as the more traffic and engagement (comments) I have the better the chances of me being offered lucrative promotions.

This is not a selfish plea in the least. I am on fire with excitement to think I might be able to help others via my blog.

So come on tell me, be honest back - what are your thoughts on this?