Thursday, 23 September 2010

Wish Me Luck!


So today has been a good day and I pray this may continue for a long time. I need all the prayers, positive thoughts, luck etc etc that I can get to be able to crack this demon!

But for today things are OK, as today I am back on the band wagon.
  • I did not eat on my emotions today

  • I did not eat as I was lonely today

  • I did not eat as I was bored today

  • I did not eat as I was angry today

  • I did not eat for any reason other than the fact that I have to eat to live.
Sounds boring? It might be but it is completely necessary for me, a compulsive overeater. I have been out of control the last couple of months. I have known that I have been on a slippy slide into the food but I have not felt able to do anything about it. Boy, does it take a lot of mental effort to be good around food and to abstain from unhealthy behaviours towards food.

I actually feel as if I am starting from scratch again. My weight this morning was 16st 6lb, this is about a stone less than my heaviest weight but about a stone heavier than my lowest recent weight last year. I hope to see the scales go down, the waistbands loosen and the smile on my face expand over the next few months. I feel very positive and ready to give my willfullness up today. This is a big step in itself. I must remember not to get ahead of myself and to stay living in the day - For Today is one of the slogans from my ED meetings and it is very pertinent - I can do today things that might horrify me if I thought I would have to do them forever.

I really enjoyed taking time to read when I woke this morning, first my ED literature and then my Bible. This and chatting to God first thing this morning set me up for a good day. I must make time for this each day. It is a discipline I had got very good at but then in the last month or so even that had slipped away - it was just easier not to bother! But who said life had to be easy?



 

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