Being a Good Bloggy Friend

What is a good bloggy friend? Well not just a bloggy one but a virtual one in general. What decides those you engage with on twitter or in a forum or on their blog?

I pondered this question myself and found that virtual life was just like real life, some people I like and some people I do not. Of course the harder thing is that the written word can come across as much more harsh and without heart and that can put me off people. I can read a really popular blog and wonder what it is about and why it has such a big following and then I can read another with no followers and love it and want to read everything they do. Different strokes for different folks they say! and wouldn't the world be boring if we all liked the same.

I have been blogging for what feels like ages now, I started for a very brief moment in 2008 and then came back to it seriously in April 2009 but I did not make my blog public until much later, January 2010. So I have been around and out there for 8 months and like many people I sometimes wonder if I am liked, if my blog is read, if my stats should be better etc but I really have learnt since my blogging break for lent that my blog is for me and readers and commenter's are a bonus rather than the be all and end all. This is not a business, I have never yet done a review (although I will certainly happily consider it if anyone wants to ask me! lol) and my career is not as a PR guru or journalist, which seems to me to be many of the people writing successful blogs.

If I was to compare myself to other people who started blogging about the same time I would probably end up crying as they have higher follower numbers, more comments, re-modeled and gorgeous looking blogs and I do not but it really does not matter. My blog is an outlet for all the crap inside my head and sometimes I feel as if I get to do some good by sharing my stories and life and showing these things happen to other people too and we survive.

My latest post has reached into the 20's with comments and that is fab. When I started out I was lucky to get 3 or 4. Some of the simplest things I have written or posted are the ones that have achieved the best interaction and you know what that tells me? That people do like me for who I am and not what I pretend to be or aim to be. So I will just go on being happy go lucky Mich, the woman with big issues around food, who shouts too much at her kids but adores them none the less and is a bit of a barmy Christian.

Anyway I think I have digressed, I started out writing a post about was what makes a good bloggy friend. I have sometimes recently started to wonder if I am keeping up my end of the deal. Some fab people are continually commenting on my blog and when I do not get to theirs very often I feel bad. I know it should not be tit for tat in this game but the whole thing of interaction and friendship is that it should be two way and of course, where would we be without spreading the blogging love. So recently I have been trying to do that much more, visiting new blogs and commenting, especially for new bloggers who have hardly any followers are are just in the beginning stages of developing their bloggy confidence. I am no Blog Idol (thanks for the fab phrase Holly) that they will want to aspire to be but if I am kind and encouraging, helping them on their journey, that can't be bad - can it?

So tell me this - How often do you get to visit sites of those you class as bloggy friends? Do you have a list of sites you must, should, could, will never visit? Is it pure randomness?

How many people are sat in your google reader? I assume you must have visited them at least once? but when do you go back? What pulls you - in the title? the first line of the post? the picture with it? or is it purely on the person and which blogs you have grown to love.

Blogging is such an interesting arena, where else would we be privy to the innermost thoughts of often near strangers!

Top 5 Moments of 2009

I have started to read more and more parenting blogs and I am really enjoying them. There are some fab writers out there disguised as Mummies. One of the blogs (http://themadhouse-themadhouse.blogspot.com/ I really wish I knew how to do one of those cool looking links with just a word!!! - maybe time for a training course at night school?) has invited other bloggers to list their top 5 moments of 2009, so here are mine -

1. Early April 2009 - Spring Harvest Christian festival at Butlins, Skegness. Dh, I and the kids all went and it was amazing. We had such a fun time together as a family and also got to spend lots of time with God and in prayer and reflection.

2. Late April 2009 - I restarted this blog once I started to go to the ED meetings. I am so pleased to have found a wonderful group of supportive people and a program which will help me through life.

3. June 2009 - Holiday to Butlins, Bognor with dh, the kids and my Mum, Dad and Brother for Mum and Dad's 40th anniversary. They had wanted to go abroad but I could not face that with 2 x one year olds and a 5 year old. This was the first holiday where there was light that the girls would sleep in a foreign environment and adapt to being away, having a different routine and being quite adaptable. It was the rest and relax that I really needed.

4. Late August 2009 - I went away for the weekend to Birmingham with a group of twin mummies. I had never met any of them before in real life, just through a twins forum that we chat on most days. It was amazing and I have made some great life friends.

5. October 2009 - I went away for a retreat to Ely with a group of friends from my old Church. I spent a lot of time alone in prayer and thought and I made a wonderful expressive collage with a daily prayer to help me give up my will to God in regards to my eating problems. What really made the weekend was coming home and spending time at the park with dh and the kids - we had such unplanned fun it was amazing!

There are so many more wonderful times in 2009 that I could write about, but I think these are my top 5.

What are yours? Have a think, I enjoyed this time of reflection.

Crimble

I am loving Christmas so far this year. I have been off work for over a week, we have had a good few inches of snow, I have been relaxing and the kids have been cute ... mostly!

Today has been lovely, dh drove the kids and me over to a big garden centre which had a nice kids grotto, we rode a train, looked at all the cute displays and visited Santa. Then had a nice big breakfast and back home for a couple of hours of chilling. Off to church for Christingle service, where the kids sort of behaved but it was good anyway. They had chips for tea and watched a DVD of themselves as babies, which they all really enjoyed and then off to bed after 1 pressie. Thanks Aunty Sue for the gorgeous presents for the kids.

Dh and I then wrapped the last of the pressies, filled the stockings and enjoyed our Indian take-away and a glass (or two!) of rose. One good film later, I am back on here for a quick catch up and about to make another DVD, now that we finally have the movie maker thingy working!

Generally my food has been pretty good, I have not felt as if I have gone without but I have been conscious to be healthful and moderate in my eating. I am pleased to say that today is one of abstinence. Tomorrow may be another story, but I will face the day one at a time.

So Happy Christmas to all my friends and family, not sure when I will be back on here.

A good couple of days

Who knows that has changed. I think all that effort I made to get to my much needed ED meeting on Thursday night in the snow is paying dividends. This is day 2 abstinent - no chocolate, sweets, biscuits, cakes or ice cream. Thank you Lord. There has been so many times in the last couple of days when I have been offered things or had things available that I wanted to eat but I just had to think of how wonderful it feels to be abstinent, it means such a lot to me. Far more than a 5 minute fix of chocolate does. I feel slimmer and more in control.

It was hard at my Mother in Laws (MIL) today as she has so much yummy stuff there and she always cooks far in excess of what is needed, but I ate a moderate meal and stayed to my food plan, avoiding all my no-go foods.

My period has arrived today and I am finding that when I eat better I have less pain, which is great. It has been a tough day today in general, so again it is even more excellent that by Gods grace I have stayed abstinent. Our shower pump appears to have broken, I have lost one of my lovely pandora style bracelets, I can not get the video camera footage to make a movie and get onto CD (this is my third attempt in just over a year, having spent about 30 hours doing this!!!!! grrr) and these are all things that would normally seem unmanageable and drive me to food - but not today!

For today, I am sane and wish to get well and to stop eating compulsively. Thank you Lord.

Still 'in the zone!'

Yep, I am still doing well. Day 4 of abstinence and it definately gets easier thanks to the grace of God. I need to be very careful I do not get complacent and start to eat things I should not. There have been challenges over the last few days but I have resisted - poppadoms at the Indian last night, no after dinner chocolate (it sat there untouched) and I did not go near the buffet table at the party either. Then today I resisted all goodies at my Mother in laws and also stopped picking my dinner when I was full, walking away from a plate of yorkshire puddings.

Here is me last night, before I was going out. I am quite pleased with how my outfit came together - what do you think of the tights now Mum?

Keep it up Mich!

Felling good about food this morning, really going to try hard to hand it all over to God and to eat moderately and without compulsion.

I weighed this morning, I know I should not of. I will have to be very careful not to transfer my obsession from food to weight! I was 15st 7lb. This is very exciting for me, this is the least I have weighted since the 1990's. Got to keep going now - I really want to reduce the risk of all those awful diseases that I could suffer at the moment due to my excess blubber and of course I want to set a much better example to my kids.

Off out to twins club now, catch you all later.