What Next?

The girls have returned to secondary school and I dropped JJ off for his induction day at college and now I am sat at home, thinking 'what comes next for me?' I know I am in a season of mothering and supporting my husband but I also hope (and pray) that there is something really fulfilling in my future for me to do. I understand the importance of supporting others and being there to facilitate their lives, hopefully helping the kids to grow into decent citizens but I have to be honest, it doesn't give me that immense satisfaction that I get from paid work.

I feel like I'm sharing a dirty secret in having said that, as many homemakers and fellow Christian mums will be finding their satisfaction, contentment or purpose in serving their family, but it just doesn't do it for me. I do really enjoy being home for when I am needed; I like to clean, launder and make the house feel clean and comfortable but I also love the buzz of achievement.

I don't know if it is just the way I am wired or if it is because I didn't become a Christian until I was 28 and the world's view of success is deeply ingrained in me. Whichever, nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing my to-do list get ticked off and knowing I am achieving. It doesn't have to be anything particularly high-level or aspirational, I literally just like to be busy and work my way through a long list most days.

Blogging: Not Always Easy but it can Change Your Life!

In Ethiopia with BritMums Jen Howze, supermodel Maya Haile and Cherry Friedmeyer, Director of Women at Risk

Having been blogging since 2008 it is now easy to see that the same things come up time and time again. Every 18 months or so you get a few bitchy people who are jealous of the opportunities that other bloggers have been offered and they start to stir up ill feeling. You see posts, tweets and general ill feeling towards a few, often the very successful few and sometimes the most vulnerable. It is so depressing.

The accusations of cliques (or more recently tribes) begin to flow and many bloggers start to question why they are doing it. 'Who needs this kind of controversy and animosity?', 'I only started my blog as a memory trove for my family' and 'thats it, I'm out of here' are the kind of statements you see shared. Sadly I've seen dozens of really decent bloggers stop writing and sharing because others have targeted them.

Yet here I am eight years on and the nasty trolls didn't manage to scare me away. I've had two particularly bad blogging times when I easily could have thrown the towel in, but no, I'm still here. I'm not sure what has made me so resilient, maybe it is my faith or maybe it is because I believe I am doing important work.

Starting every day well - #R2BC, week 20 year 3

Welcome to this weeks edition of Reasons to be Cheerful

This weeks I am sharing a life lesson that I have learnt and then forgot and have to re-learn again.  Over and over I go through this, all part of my journey of faith. It annoys me that I forget things and can't seem to retain everything I need but thankfully I have a loving God who likes the fact I try and blesses me anyway.

I find that when I make time to pray first thing in the morning, everything else is kept in perspective and tends to fall in place during the day. This lesson makes all the difference to my attitude and helps me feel more grateful and cheerful.

Have you ever read this?

I got up early one morning, 

And rushed right into the day; 

I had so much to accomplish, 

I didn’t have time to pray. 

Troubles just tumbled about me, 

And heavier came each task. 

"Why doesn’t God help me?" I wondered. 

He answered, "You didn’t ask." 

I tried to come into God’s presence; 

I used all my keys at the lock. 

God gently and lovingly chided,

"Why, child, you didn’t knock." 

I wanted to see joy and beauty, 

But the day toiled on gray and bleak. 

I wondered why God didn’t show me. 

He said, "You didn’t seek." 

I woke up early this morning, 

And paused before entering the day. 

I had so much to accomplish 

That I had to take time to pray.

Source unknown

I love that, it makes so much sense to me.  Like much of life we rush about and expect to accomplish everything when actually sometimes we just need to stop doing and start being!

Who will write for BritMums for June and July?
Congratulations to Mama Syder, you were the lucky blogger chosen to write the Positively Inspirational round-up for BritMums for June and July.  I know you will do an excellent job as your whole attitude to life just seems so balanced and positive.  Thanks to all those who expressed an interest.

Blogger of the Week

This weeks featured #R2BC blogger is Becky from Lakes Single Mum. Becky was one of the first bloggers I met online and at the time she was going through some tough stuff. It has been wonderful to watch her move up north and then see her grow in confidence and happiness as she has established herself in a beautiful part of the country with her lovely kids. I looked back at past #R2BC linkies and discovered Becky first joined up in January 2011!  She is one of our founder members.

Come and join in.....
Why don't you join up with Reasons to be Cheerful this week? It is such a fabulous opportunity to stop and reflect on your life and to see the good in it. Have a read about what I believe and why #R2BC started, it has literally changed my life to have this weekly focus on what is good (or God) in life.  How easy is it to allow things to become doom and gloom?.

So if you want to join in, go for it.  We are a no rules kind of linky - you link up what you fancy (well as long as it is not just a blatant advert), a recipe, the simple things in life, photos, a story - whatever! Add in the blog hop code so people can travel around and then visit others and share the comment love.  But if you are not sure how to add in code or anything else, don't worry - just go for it and leave a link to your post in the comments and I'll link you up.

Have a great week, Mich x

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A 24 hour journey of self discovery....

I went away with work this week.  It is the third week in a row I have stayed away from my children and due to this fact I was not really looking forward to it, but I have to say that it has been wonderful, really enlightening.

I was away at a conference for staff developers (trainers to the non-initiated) who work for universities in my local region.  We all come together and share ideas, tips and best practise to help inspire each other to do our jobs better.  Being fairly new to my role I was really up for this and have not come away disappointed at all.  So you see my time away was not supposed to be about self-discovery but some of the development exercises that we partook in really got you thinking and reflecting, examining yourself even.

Here is what I discovered about me whilst I was there –

• That team sports can be fun
• With some coaching I can achieve more than I expected
• That my preconceived negative beliefs hold me back
• That stepping out of my comfort zone is good and can be really lifting
• That I don’t have to feel like the newbie at work, my contributions are valuable too

Isn’t that great?  What a lot of valuable learning to come from just 24 hours away from my family and everyday life.

I was in such great surroundings at Maddingly Hall, Cambridgeshire that I’ll share a few photos.

Only dead fish go with the 'blogging' flow....

.....and if I am honest I have no desire to be a dead fish. And that is really good for me to remember!

I had a bit of a wobble this week, a bloggy wobble. I got an email to say that I was a Brilliance in Blogging finalist in the Outstanding category and whilst I thought 'ohh that's nice' I did not really think any more of it.  I didn't even mention it as part of my #R2BC the other day.  I have no idea why this did not register as a big deal, but it is and I thank all of you who voted for me.

Then a couple of days later the finalists were announced for the MAD blog awards and my name was not there and you know what? I was absolutely gutted.  I have no idea why it cut so deep or why I expected to see my name there but I even had a little cry.  I knew it was illogical and that I had done absolutely nothing to canvass for nominations; my Mum or husband had not even nominated for goodness sake.  That tells you how active I was at informing and encouraging people. Yet I had become complacent and felt it would just happen.  I had become a dead fish and was being washed along with the tide.

I have taken a few days away from blogging and been doing some serious thinking and I have come to realise that as far as blogging goes I have inadvertently become a dead fish, by that I mean that I have been going with the flow set by others. I have preempted what I believe the expectation is of a successful blog and tried to fit that. I have posted daily as I thought that was what was expected, I have coveted luxury goods to review, I have craved prestigious events to attend and I have commented and visited a ton of forums and blogs, all to emulate the most popular bloggers. I don't think I even realised I was doing some of it.

But......that is not what this blog was for. I never set out to be top 20 in the Tots100, Ebuzzing and Cision charts. I did not set out to be a household name in parenting blogs. I did not set out to be the blog that everyone assumed would make the shortlist. My blog is all about an imperfect Christian mum/ woman showing that she is pretty average and not too off the wall! This is where I share my faith, positivity, journey with my food demons and imperfect parenting moments and hopefully inspire others to do the same.

Sometimes you readers tell me that you relate and that it helps you and that is perfect. Meeting that goal has to be more important than a glitzy ceremony and a nice prize?  Because if I am honest I think that was the attractive part of the MADs, otherwise I would have been excited by the BiBs too, wouldn't I?

I don't like sharing this with you and revealing how shallow I am but if nothing else dear reader I am always as honest with you as I can be. So as I realise this, I admit to you yet another character defect, one that I can work with God to overcome.

I want to thank the super Mari for her great blog post  titled 'How important is a blogging award?' that I read the other night and some wise words of hers really spoke to me 'don't let it affect who you are and what you are blogging for'.  Brilliant, she has said it all.

One real bonus of blogging that I never ever expected was the superb friends I have made, people like these fab ladies, they are the icing on the cake!

Be blessed, Blogging rocks when we do it for the right reasons, our own reasons, whatever they may be. Mich x

NB: I know the written word can come across wrong, so I add this end note to say that I have every respect for the organisers of both awards, I wish all the finalists the very best and I hope they have a ball and that I am not calling any other blogger a dead fish.  Just me, I was the one going with the flow.

Lifes a Journey! #InnerTruth

A couple of weeks ago I wrote an #InnerTruth post with the message for myself of ‘Just do it’ and for a few days things were going well.  I felt I was being successful in my journey towards the healthier and slimmer Michelle and then it went a bit wrong.  I can’t recall why, something went off track and instead of just getting back on the horse and trying again I quickly fell back into bad habits.  I didn’t post last Monday as it felt as if there was little point.  I had no weight loss to report and no inspiring message to share.

I tweeted that I would be back this week with an update and sadly I do not really have anything to report in regards to weight loss again.  I have had some good days, times when I have been focused and have eaten mindfully but others have been off-kilter and they are the ones that mean my weight has maintained. I had plans to start my exercise again but then I was unwell and other days I went to bed too late and could not easily get up in the morning.