Sunday, 17 May 2009

Reflective Sunday

First off, I just have to say that I weighed this morning, I know I should not have but the scales glady said 15st 13lb and that means I am down into that next bracket. From a start weight of 17st 10lb it feels good to know that my walk with God is working. Lets see what those scales say on Thursday. I am finding it hard to know whether I should be weighing though as the main purpose of my group and programme is to free me from obsessive eating and weighing forms a part of that but for me to lose the weight and become more healthy is two pronged with sorting my head out and passing good eating habits onto my kids. They always say I should do what is right for me and this feels right - so for now I will weigh once per week, perhaps until I am confident to move it to once per month and then chuck out the scales long term!

I have been doing lots of thinking, pondering and reflecting over the last few weeks. Here are some of my thoughts -

Things to be thankful to God for -
  • I have found my excellent ED support group and am learning about the steps I have to take to truly know myself and overcome my illness
  • I have learnt that all I have to focus on is one day at a time
  • I went to a fete yesterday and bought the kids a small cake each and it did not even occur to me to have one. I know this will seem insignificant to some, but to someone like me who has a complete preoccupation with food it was amazing
  • Chocolate was in my mouth yesterday before I even realised (I am not pleased about this! lol), what I am thankful for is that I realised that quickly and forgave myself for breaking abstinence and just decided that my day would start from after that, as all I have to worry about is the one day at a time
  • My literature that supports the programme has arrive and reading some of it, it is so motivational for me - yay

Mistakes to avoid for the future -

  • Forgetting to pray or think before any food goes in my mouth or I can end up eating for the sake of it
  • Thinking that I can cope without my eating plan
  • Thinking that I am in control and that I can just have some chocolate and then be OK! ha
  • weighing myself too much

Please feel free to share...

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