This morning at Church I was really challenged to think about who I am in Christ. and that means the totality of who I am. There is no Christian hat, I am just one person and to be a Christian is a 24 hour commitment, I don't just have to attend church on a Sunday. Every day I have to seek to make right choices, demonstrate love and attempt to emulate Jesus himself.
It really was one of those life changing mornings today. The 18th January 2015 will be recorded as a time of realisation and revelation. Back on 30th November 2014 I was baptised by full immersion, just like Jesus was. Despite having been Christened as a child and confirmed as an adult I knew I had to take this important step. Since then lots has been changing within me and today I realised that I must not diminish who I am. God loves and values me, I must too. It is so important. I have to trust that when I gave my life to God in 2002 and then again at my baptism last year he wiped my slate clean and I am now a daughter of the most high king. I should stop doubting my own usefulness.
If I plant an apple tree but it does not bear fruit, do I question if it is an apple tree? No I don't, I know it us an apple tree. This is the same for me, I am a beloved child of Christ and must believe it and come out from the stone I have been hiding under. That was what God told me very clearly today. He didn't speak to me audibly, I've never been lucky enough (as yet) to hear His voice audibly.
He started to whisper to me through the worship, I could feel His presence and He was moving amongst us. As He came to rest on me the tears started to slowly plop down my cheeks as the song words 'my chains are gone, I've been set free' washed over me. We then moved to another song and my heart was leaping with joy (despite the tears still on my cheeks) as I sang the words to the Revelation Song by Kari Jobe -
Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God AlmightyI knew there was more to come and as one of the congregation stepped up the front and shared his picture of a dark cell with a woman at the back, crouched down and crying in the corner. The door to the cell is open and the light is shining outside but still she sits there. She used to be chained but her chains have been broken but still she sits there. I knew, just knew it was me. I've been in the cell and I had to make a decision to come out (from the cell, from under the rock, from behind the curtain, from inside the fat) and be who I am. No fear and no recriminations.
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything and I will adore You
Filled with wonder awestruck wonder
At the mention of Your name
Jesus Your name is power, breath and living water
Such a marvellous mystery
I took time at the end to go to the front to be prayed for, it is not like me to step out and ask for prayer and especially as it was busy and I had to wait for someone but my boldness paid off as God again spoke to me through Beck who told me 'He is really pleased with me' and 'it does not matter what I do or what I do not do He accepts and loves me'. Two very important messages that I needed to hear, it had never occurred to me before that I might please God and considering He declared over Jesus 'this is my beloved son with whom I am well pleased' it feels like a very special accolade indeed.
From today I have learnt I have to accept me and I must quash any lies the enemy tells me by using God's word against them and also by giving myself positive affirmations.
Psalm 139 was also mentioned this morning and I did a whole weekend away a few years back meditating on that psalm and creating an amazing collage, it took on new meaning this morning when I took it in a much more positive frame than I normally do. God searched me and knows me and He still loves and accepts me. I get teary just typing that, the enormity of it engulfs me.
Here is a summary of who I am -
- I am a daughter of God
- I am loved
- I am saved
- I've been set free
- I am a disciple
- I am a vessel of the Holy Spirit
- I'm living my life for Christ
- I'm proud to be a Christian
- I have sinned
- I am forgiven
- I am unique
- I am special to God
- I am worthy
- I am breaking chains
- I am in love with Jesus
- I am awe struck
- I'm amazed
- I am changed
- I am Heaven bound
- I am accepted
- I am OK
- I am choosing to Be
- I am pleasing to God
- I am a good enough wife
- I am a good enough mother
- I am Michelle, good to meet you
Who are you?
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