How to Start Putting Yourself First Once Your Kids Are Older

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As a parent, putting your children’s needs before your own often becomes second nature. From their infancy through to their teenage years, your life may revolve around their schedules, activities, and well-being. But as your kids grow older and become more independent, a new phase of life emerges—one where you can finally start putting yourself first. It’s an opportunity to reclaim your time, focus on your own goals, and nurture your well-being. If you’ve spent years prioritising your children, here’s how to start focusing on yourself again.

 

1. Redefine Your Role

One of the first steps to putting yourself first is accepting that your role as a parent is evolving. While you’ll always be their parent, your children no longer need you in the same way they did when they were younger. Embrace this transition as an opportunity to shift your focus inward.

Understand that taking care of yourself is not selfish—it’s essential for your well-being. You can still be a supportive parent without sacrificing your own happiness and health. Redefining your role means acknowledging that it’s okay to prioritise your needs and wants and that doing so can even set a positive example for your children.

 

2. Reconnect with Your Passions

Now that you have more time to yourself, it’s the perfect moment to reconnect with activities you once enjoyed or to discover new passions. Perhaps there were hobbies or personal interests you set aside while raising your kids—whether it’s painting, hiking, reading, or learning a new skill, now is your chance to revisit those interests. If you’re unsure of what you enjoy, take this time to explore different activities. Try out classes, attend workshops, or engage in creative pursuits that bring you joy. Rekindling these passions can provide a sense of fulfilment and help you rediscover your sense of self outside of your parental identity.

 

3. Prioritise Self-Care

With more freedom in your schedule, it’s crucial to prioritise self-care. As a parent, you likely spent years making sure your children were cared for, but now it’s time to turn that same attention toward yourself. Self-care is more than just occasional pampering—it’s about maintaining your mental, emotional, and physical health on a regular basis.

Start by carving out time for self-care practices like exercise, meditation, or even something as simple as reading a book uninterrupted. These moments of personal time are essential for reducing stress and recharging your energy. Consider booking regular massages, scheduling wellness appointments, or starting a skincare routine that makes you feel refreshed and cared for. If something is getting you down or affecting your mental health, then take the time to fix it. For instance, many people struggle when their hair starts to thin, but visiting a Harley Street Hair Clinic London can help highlight possible options to improve this.

 

Beauty Recommendations for Looking after Yourself in 2022

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Finally, in my late forties, I seem to be looking after myself better. I've always enjoyed wearing make-up and doing my hair but I have been absolutely hopeless at looking after my skin or having any kind of beauty regime. Thankfully, God seems to have blessed me with good skin and I've got away with it, but no longer, I realise I'm ageing and need a change. So let me share with you some of the products I've been using in recent times and I'm loving.

Body Shop Vitamin C Glow Revealing Liquid Peel - £16 for 100ml

This is a fairly new product to me, I've been using it for just a few months but even in that short time, I am really finding it effective. I had thought that my face was looking a bit dull but this has cheered it up no end and I have that lovely glow again. The product has a gentle exfoliator in it and you apply it to dry skin and as you massage it in you can feel these little balls forming and they are supposed to collect up your dry skin cells and any dirt/ grime that is there. You then rinse it off your face and it really is very satisfying to use. 

You just need one or two small pumps for each use, so I think the 100ml bottle will last me quite some time and provide good value. When I was younger I probably would have opted for a supermarket fash wash in a much bigger size for under a fiver but as I get older I realise that you do get what you pay for. I also really like the values of Body Shop (#ad) and I'm happy to buy from a sustainable brand with good green credentials, using natural products. 

Spa Day at Bannatyne Hastings During the Covid-19 Pandemic

I've been to the Bannatyne Spa in Hastings a few times now and always really enjoyed myself. It's not the most glossy or exclusive spa I've ever been to and realistically the cafe can be quite hit and miss, but seeing as I only ever go when I can book a good deal, either directly or through a site like Wowcher I'm generally happy.

Here are some of the deals I've bagged in the last couple of years via Wowcher:

• £29.99 for day spa access and 25-minute treatment
• £69 for day access for 2 people and 3 mini treatments each
• £49 for day spa access and 3 treatments
• £95 for day access for 2 people and 4 mini treatments each

Then the latest trip I took was for a half-day entry to the spa (9am - 1pm although they didn't seem to care what time I was there as the receptionist was trying to book me brunch for 1pm), 2 treatments (45 minutes) and brunch for £59.50 (booked directly and the offer is still available now), which was probably my most expensive trip but the brunch really made it a special treat.

I shared my thoughts on a day spa visit that my husband and I took in January 2019 and this is now an updated review on how a half-day spa went for me in December 2020 between the two lockdowns in the UK. This was my early Christmas present from my parents and I went alone. After doing lots of spa days with friends and my husband I actually think I enjoy the days I go alone the best, as I only have myself to suit and I do love to relax and read.

Bannatyne Hastings

The centre itself feels more like a gym/ sports centre than a traditional spa, so make sure you have the right expectations when you book for here. If you want the kind of experience you'd get at Champneys then I'd say don't bother. On the last two or three visits, the reception staff have seemed pretty new and not very clued up. I've even had a couple of rude ones and certainly, it appears, some like to chat with each other more than help you, but I take it with a pinch of salt as the actual spa and the treatments I've received on every occasion have been exceptional.

8 Ways to Feel Better about Yourself

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We've been living through such a strange and difficult time the last few months and as lockdown starts to ease and hopefully life becomes a little more normal again, it is good to think about what we can do to give ourselves a little boost. Many of us have been desperate to get our hair cut or our nails done, and those simple actions can make you feel more confident and ready to face the world. But I've also been musing some other ideas of what we can do if we are feeling a bit flat right now and as if we need to start to feel better about ourself again.

So how about these ideas? -

1.  Have a day to yourself

If lockdown has meant you've been home with those you love 24/7 then you might just be desperate for some alone time. Now that more places are opening up and perhaps you can get out as you have a babysitter, why not consider a day shopping in your favourite town. Or maybe taking a very long walk in a local country park, seaside or forest. Pack a flash and a picnic if you still want to stay away from people, or it might be your idea of heaven to be able to have a good coffee al fresco outside your favourite cafe.

Practising Self-Compassion as Coronavirus Realisation Sets In

We're now into our fourth week of lockdown here in the UK and I think the realisation of this situation has hit home with mostly everyone. Daily life has dramatically changed and as I mentioned a couple of weeks ago I am hopeful for some good to come from this awful time, but honestly, there will also be a whole load of crap too. People are dying, businesses are folding, many won't have a job to go back to and I won't even pretend to understand what is going to happen to our economy, but of course, the dreaded recession word is being used, and that is never good.

As I sat having lunch today I realised that we are all going through a trauma and I don't think we are giving ourselves the space or time to really process what is going on. If you're anything like me then you have gone into auto-pilot, trying to help everyone else in the family feel OK about what is happening. I'm organising, shopping, cleaning, sorting, playing, teaching, cooking, washing, listening, chatting etc etc, What I'm not doing is taking time to think through how all these changes impact me.

I realised a couple of weeks ago that something was wrong as I kept wanting to buy hand sanitiser even though I didn't need it, it was almost as if I thought it might get me through this tough time. It was super irrational but the mind plays tricks on us when it feels overloaded. I also recognised that I wasn't getting much done in a day, I felt busier than before the lockdown and how could that be as my work has dried up and I didn't have to go anywhere?

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Ephesians 4:32

We're not machines and the sooner we realise that the better, the enormity of this situation we all find ourselves in, will have a different impact on every one of us. It's difficult, it's hard to process and it is humungous. There is so much uncertainty right now, it's no wonder that we feel a bit off-kilter.

We know that kindness and withholding judgement are essential at the moment. We do not know what is going on in someone else's life and it is not for us to say if it is OK for them to walk their dog four times a day, or to go for a drive in the hills. But we also have to remember that the kindness needs to be extended to ourselves as well.

Bannishing my Aging Dry Skin with Balneum #ItchLessLiveMore

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As I age, I am realising more and more that I should have been looking after my skin better when I was younger. My skin is often tight, dry and itchy now, especially on my lower legs, upper arms and chest area. Of course, at the moment it is Autumn and we're at the best time of year for my skin as it isn't too warm and it isn't too cold, but already as the colder weather arrives, I am being reminded of the need to moisturise regularly.

Luckily Balneum got in touch a couple of months back and asked me to try out their dry skin and itch relief lotion, which I was happy to agree to. I was then over the moon when it wasn't just the lotion that arrived, but their cream, oleo wash and shampoo too. I have been using all the products for the last few weeks to give them a thorough trial, to see how they work on ageing skin and I also got my 16-year-old son to try them too as he has pretty bad psoriasis, and we are keen to minimise his need for steroid creams as much as we can.

Who are Balneum?
Balneum have created a specially formulated emollient and daily cleansing range for people with dry skin and for when itch relief is required. When used together the products become a complete emollient therapy for the skin and scalp that are dry, flaky, agitated or suffering with eczema or psoriasis. So, me with my dry skin and itchy and flaky scalp, and JJ with his all-over psoriasis are good candidates for putting these products through their paces.

Their slogan is Itch less, live more and that's great, as we're in an age now were no-one should have to be that uncomfortable with their skin that it starts to negatively impact on their life and activity choices.