What are you seeking?

As a woman in my twenties, it never occurred to me to analyse my life. To really look at aspects of it and see if I was happy with them, or if they were healthy. For me, becoming a Christian at 29 was what had set me on an introspective journey to find out who I am and what is right for me. I would say what makes me happy, but that doesn’t sit right with me, for I believe my life isn’t lived for my own gratification.

I have a purpose, a greater good that I’m supposed to achieve during my life. It may not be what the world deems as bold, exciting or successful. I don’t have to become famous, make a million, or be stunningly beautiful. Society’s expectations of success don’t really apply, and it is so good to remind myself of that fact. All that is expected of me, is that I try my hardest to follow Christ’s example, to be a good citizen, and to think about other people, as well as myself.

In fact, in the last few days I’ve been realising, yet again, (why do I forget these important messages and then have to learn them again?) that I need to prefer others to myself. That’s not about me having low self-esteem and believing other people are more important than me. Not at all. It is about me remembering that I’m here to serve, in so many ways.

I’ve truly found that when I take my focus off myself and put it onto others, I am a lot more fulfilled. When I keep analysing why I feel lonely, or why I’m so fat, or why my work doesn’t feel fulfilling, all I do is perpetuate those feelings. 

You know what they say, negative in, negative out!

It’s so important to think positive and to seek the good in people. Some may say I’m wearing rose tinted glasses, but that’s not true, as I still know the world is flawed and there are problems in both my life, and the wider world around me. I just need to make the purposeful choice (and no, it’s not always easy) to see the best. A lovely friend reminded me of this the other day, as my thinking the worst of a situation that involved her had resulted in me feeling hurt for the last year and because I hadn’t raised the subject with her, she had no idea, she just thought I was busy, rather than purposely staying away.

Communication really is key to everything in life. Being honest and open with God, those around you and importantly, yourself, makes a massive difference. It won’t always be easy, in fact sometimes it will feel like such hard work, but it will always pay off.

After my post the other day about loneliness and seeking a good local friend, I spent some more time in prayer and contemplation, trying to decide what would make the difference to me right now. What did I come up with? I realised I need to stop thinking about myself and to do more for others. Not silly things like the kids washing or dropping them places, but more purposeful things like spending time with them doing an activity they enjoy, leaving the best parking space for someone else, or volunteering to do the crappy job at work, the one no-one enjoys.

I have far less time now than I used to, as I’m working more, but there is always time to do the little things, and many little things add up to be a big thing. The thing that takes me out of myself and helps me to focus on others and hopefully gives me that sense of purpose and satisfaction that I’m ultimately seeking.

But what about you, what are you seeking?

I'm linking this post up with Becky at Lakes Single Mum for Reasons to be Cheerful.

Making Progress...

Myself and my friend Rachel (Mid Life Single Mum) agreed we'd post every couple of weeks to stay accountable for how we are doing in relation to the changes we want to make to our lives. She suggested we do a Slimming Sunday post, as that was something we both used to do and I thought, yes great idea but then I've been thinking about posting yesterday and today and not feeling at all motivated.

As I mused why, I realised that my focus isn't on slimming. Yes, of course I need to lose a serious amount of weight, but that isn't so I'll be slim. Being slim and being able to dress in whichever clothes I fancy will be a nice bonus, but the main thing is to lose weight to improve my health and get rid of the many ailments I currently have.

On Friday 6th September I started to make choices that would lead to better health for me and I want to celebrate those good choices. There have been times, even days in the last week or so when I haven't been great, when my choice has perhaps been a poor one, but I don't want to linger on those times and beat myself up, I want to focus on the good and as such I'll link this post up with Reasons to be Cheerful as I am seriously grateful for the good choices I have been making, some of which will seem so silly to many but for me they are steps in the right direction - progress.

• I faced the music and went to see my doctor to get weighed and to have my blood pressure checked. I was super pleased to find I was only 0.5kg more than when I last saw her about six months ago and my BP was fine.
• I've had some great days food wise, making good choices and not feeling deprived because of them
• I've been eating fruit. This might not sound much to many, but fruit I've always regarded as a waste of calories and I've chosen an apple, bananas and plums this week
• I even muttered the words 'no, I'm not hungry' when offered something by JJ
• I restarted at the gym and had a gym and a swimming session last week, at two different places. My membership gives me access to about six clubs and I intend to explore them all
• I've been choosing to drink tea over coffee as this saves me milk and sugar in every cup
• My water intake has been good and I've been remembering to hydrate
• I haven't been allowing other peoples negative moods impact on me
• I contacted my coach and we set up a meeting to talk and this always helps me to clear my thoughts and to be sure of where I am heading
• I've been making more time to read and pray each each

It's been an acceptable start to making better choices and improving my life for the better. There is four years until I hit 50 and that feels like a great milestone to head towards.

Onwards and upwards!

Linking up with Becky at Lakes Single Mum

Ten Resources that might just Change your Life View

Photo by Ihor Malytskyi on Unsplash

I'm really passionate about self-development and each person becoming the best version of their self. For me, becoming a Christian really changed my world view and was the catalyst for me starting to work on some of my more challenging character traits. 

For around the last 16 years I've been reading books, listening to podcasts, watching TED talks and attending courses that are helping me to shape into a less materialistic and more selfless person.

I thought it was high time that I shared with you some of the resources that have had a profound effect on me. Some are Christian resources, and some are totally not, so you don't have to share my faith to be interested in this list.

1.  Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - Richard Carlson
Back in 2002 I started to listen to some cassettes (yes it was that long ago) in the car on my hours’ drive to work and the wisdom in these recordings really started to help me realise that life is too short to get hung up on the silly things, or small stuff, and realistically it is all small stuff. There are a variety of spin-offs from the original like not sweating the small stuff at work, in your family or with teens.

These short, manageable chapters have titles like - stop blaming others, count to ten, choose being kind or being right and seek first to understand. The thing that always sits with me and has been life changing is Carlson’s lesson about us all living in separate realities and how that plays out. Truly when I first heard this story and learnt the concept it was mind blowing to me. 

The book is currently £3.52 on Amazon. 

Making Positive Changes #R2BC

My Instagram best 9 pictures of 2018

I’m feeling excited about what 2019 holds for me. I feel like it might finally be the year when I make the eating and exercise changes that I need to be healthy and fit for purpose. That might sound a bit odd, as obviously at the moment, I’m fit for many purposes and I don’t for one minute dismiss my abilities. But as a Christian I try to tune into God’s will for me and I’ve felt for a number of years now, he’s been telling me to get ready and be fit for purpose. I am both excited and a little scared to find out what that purpose is.

I joint slimming world on New Years Day and I’ve had my first weigh in on Tuesday night, the result was 5.5lbs off and that's pretty good. This is probably around the thirtieth diet I’ve tried in my life and to date, I’ve not stuck with any or lost substantial amounts of weight but that’s neither here nor there, as this is now and that is all I need to focus on.

In the last few years, many aspects of my health have been diminishing and that is why I can no longer put aside the urgent need to lose some weight and improve my fitness. It’s not easy but I do feel ready and I’ve been pleased with many of the small changes I’ve made.

• In the last few weeks I’ve been going to the gym and swimming regularly.
• I’ve paired back my commitments to allow myself time to exercise and focus on eating, without getting distracted or stressed
• I’ve cleared out all the Christmas goodies and given them away to others who will enjoy them far more than me.
• I’ve been wearing my Fitbit and clocking some some great days steps. 21,729 is the best day yet this year.
• I’ve been eating fruit daily (this is a massive change for me) and remembering to take it out, so I don’t snack on chocolate etc
• I'm not feeling deprived and I’m still enjoying eating, we went to Pizza Hut as a family at the weekend and I enjoyed a little pizza and loads of salad (with none of the unhealthy stuff on the salad cart).
• I took the car in to be fixed on Monday and had to hang around, normally this would mean a McDonald's breakfast, which I adore but I had beans on wholemeal toast at home and then a pear and banana instead. This saved me a massive 33 syns!
• My changes are already starting to influence my family in a positive manner, which I’m thrilled about.
• I’m being mindful to be active. This weekend we are using a voucher for 40% off a meal at Toby but before we do we’re heading up onto the Seven Sisters cliffs for a good walk.

It feels like I’ve made a good start. Now to keep it up!

I’m linking this post up with Becky at Lakes Single Mum for Reasons to be Cheerful as this new positive mindset and approach is making me very cheerful indeed!

There’s Positive Changes Afoot in 2018 with #BootsLittleBoosts

We are now well in to February and my year has started off well. January was all about having my operation for menorrhagia and then healing from that and now I feel like life can really take-off. I no longer have a lack of energy, nor am I anaemic. 2018 is a year that I plan to believe more in myself and in God’s great plans for me, I wrote about it at the beginning of the year and posted my first update last week. The area of my life that I really need to get a grip on is my health and specifically my weight, which sadly, is affecting my health and not in a good way.

However, I am feeling very positive and I am going to take lots of little steps that all add up and will make a difference. If I’m honest many of these steps (or changes) are things I have committed to before and then they’ve not happened or I’ve let them slip but I’m not going to let that stop me. I have to believe that mentally I am now in the right place and that since I have been freed from my terrible (and constant) bleeding that things in my life can change for the better.

The fear of failure must no longer stop me. I’ve been reading a book recently (yet another one) called ‘The Year of Saying Yes’ by Helen Doyle and it is just a fiction book. A great story about a woman called Isobel who changes her life by saying yes to a series of monthly dares and it has been so helpful to me. I have come to realise that often I say no or I am passive in my actions because I am scared it won’t all work out. What the book has made me realise is that it is better to try, better to take one step, better to do it imperfectly, than not at all.

It felt like a God-moment when Boots recently got in touch and asked if I’d like to take part in their #BootsLittleBoosts campaign as this is all about how I am boosting my health and wellness routine for this New Year. They want to know how I’m going to shake off the excess of the winter festivities and to embrace the year ahead with new vigour. It fits in perfectly with my new ‘Believe’ philosophy.

So here goes, I know that Little Steps = Big Changes if I’m consistent and I’m going to set my focus in four key areas -