9 Life Lessons for my Children to Live By #ChooseToChallenge #IWD2021

It's International Women's Day tomorrow (8th March) and I try to mark this special day each year, either in real life or on my blog. It's a day when we recognise that although there have been great steps forward in terms of gender equality, we acknowledge that there is still a long way to go for there to be equal representation of women in all forums - business, the media, politics, religion and academia.

This year the theme of IWD 2021 is #ChooseToChallenge, where we are all encouraged to challenge gender bias and inequality. I think you can also take the meaning of that hashtag wider too and choose to challenge any kind of discrimination that you witness or become aware of.  Also, it's important to choose to challenge behaviour and attitudes that you don't agree with. As an outspoken and ballsy woman, it has been a journey for me to be able to challenge things in a non-threatening way. Many people find me too much, a bit forceful and for a while that shut me up, but starting to work with charities and NGOs like Save the Children and ONE Campaign changed all that and I had to start shouting about the things that upset me and I was happy to challenge once again.

As I reflected on that today I was keen for my children to know that it is OK to challenge the things that do not sit right with them. This is something I have been teaching each of them since an early age, especially Miss E as she is less forthright than the other two. Of course, with the noisy ones that are naturally more like me, I've been trying to help them soften a little and be able to put their point across in a kind way, allowing others to feel differently too. 

This reflecting led on to more thinking, as it often does with me and I ended up making up a list of the life lessons I want my children to know and understand. Things I think it is important to live by. They are, of course, very different people to me so they have to make up their own mind whether they want to live by these nuggets of wisdom or not, but I'll just do my part and pass them on.

All Pregnant Women Deserve Good Care #DifferentPathChallenge

{This is a collaborative post}

When you're pregnant and expecting a baby, the one thing that every woman wants is for that baby to be born healthy, in a safe environment.  We all share in this basic right, every woman being the same. Where you live shouldn't be a factor as to whether that child lives or dies, or in fact, whether you live or die. There is recourse for you, your child, and your family should the unthinkable occur and result in a birth injury. Should that happen, it is important to know that there are empathetic Birth Injury Solicitors in this country who are available to guide you and help you every step of the way.

In Togo, West Africa, 1 in every 20 babies (1) will die before their first birthday. This is the equivalent of you going to your local toddler group and knowing that one or two of those babies won't be here in the next year. Just think how shocking that would be, thankfully in the UK, it isn't every week we hear of a baby dying.

In the UK our figures are quite different, with only 1 in 250 babies (1) not surviving their first birthday. So what's the difference, why are those babies in Togo not surviving? The quick answer is poverty, most families can not afford to access good healthcare or buy enough food. This means birth complications, infections and malnutrition are responsible for claiming far too many little lives.

I don't want to linger on these sad facts for too long though, as us being sad doesn't actually help anyone. What does help, is us using what we have to donate to programs that make a difference to these mothers. Compassion (a charity I have been supporting on a monthly basis for around 15 years) has 1520 Child Survival projects worldwide, with 52 of these being in Togo.

International Day of the Girl - Advice to my Teenage Self #AdviceforGirls

Sorry for the image quality but when you are dealing with pictures taken in 1990 before the digital camera was even around, you tend to find they aren't the best quality. The above is me aged 17 years; I'm on holiday in Corfu with my (then) boyfriend. 

Today, on International Day of the Girl Compassion UK asked me to share a picture of myself aged 15 years old and I didn't have one to hand, this is as long ago as I can access, so it will have to do. The idea is to share the advice I would give to my teenage self, so here goes....

Hey Mich, You're just a teenager still and already you have been on a number of diets and berated yourself for the way you look, but come on... just take a good look at that image above, you are gorgeous, you are brilliant and you are filled with potential. 

What I want you to know is that you are so much more than a body and a face. Please don't take any notice of what you see in the magazines, what you overhear the popular girls say about you, what the boys at the youth club or at school whisper about you, or even what you hear well-meaning relatives say when they think you're not listening. You are amazing!

In Psalm 139 God tells you that He knows you, inside and out, that He sees you, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and that most importantly, you can never escape Him or His love for you. You don't need to meet societies expectations for beauty, because you already meet Gods. 

Mich, you are enough. God knows it, you need to believe it and live it. Please don't waste your time striving to be thinner, to be browner, to fit in or to be liked. Be uniquely you Mich, that is how God made you and He doesn't make mistakes. 

Have you got any idea how well this body will serve you in life? It will carry you to Ethiopia, Belarus and Washington as an advocate and activist working to help put an end to extreme poverty. It will birth three amazing and unique little beings. It will be a friend to many and help dozens of people, as a friend, volunteer and co-worker. 

Please don't waste another minute worrying Mich. God tells you not to be anxious  but to present your requests to Him in prayer and thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6-7). So the best thing you could do, right now, aged 17 years old is turn your life over to Christ and come to know His never-ending love for you.

He's got your back Mich! Just believe it.......

Of course today, many girls the world over, are worrying about their body and their beauty, just like I did and have done for many, many years. But as well as these kinds of worries like |I had, there are also girls in so many countries who are worrying about much bigger issues, like where to get clean water or their next meal from, or perhaps who their husband will be when they marry at age 15 or 16.

Research from NGO Save the Children showed that Brazil is the worst country in South America in terms of girls development opportunities. It scores 102 out of 144 countries and the data is based on teenage marriage, teenage pregnancy and those girls completing secondary education.

Given these facts, Compassion UK chooses Brazil as the focus for their Handbook for Girls campaign, which is hoping to educate teenage girls there and change the amount of them dropping out of education early.

Image thanks to Compassion UK

Launched this summer, the campaign aims to raise £20,000 so that all 10,000 girls in Compassion's church-based projects in Brazil receive a Handbook with vital information on health, education, relationships and employment. The Handbooks are being developed by Compassion Brazil’s programme staff in partnership with child development experts, including psychologists and education professionals, and are aimed at girls aged 12-20 years.

What’s more, church partners will receive training in how best to support girls in the topics covered in the Handbook and boys will participate in workshops on the value of women. Each book costs just £2 to produce and distribute, which I think is a great use of such little money.

If you think what Compassion are doing in Brazil is important then I'd urge you to text EMPOWER to 70140 to give £4 and change the life of two girls in Brazil and visit Compassion UK for more information and the text-to-donate terms and conditions. 

Thanks for getting involved friends. It might not seem a lot we can do from the comfort of our warm homes here in the UK, but as I always maintain, every small action adds up and creates a ripple of change that one day will be so big it makes a monumental difference.

Taking my Sight for Granted on World Sight Day #WSD2017

Today is World Sight Day and I have an admission to make - I rarely think about the privilege that it is to be able to see the world in glorious colour. I take my eye sight completely for granted, I am so lucky to have been born in a country where healthcare and eye-care is free for every child. Of course the same can't be said for many living in the poorest parts of Africa. I recall when I was visiting Ethiopia just how many people I met who had numerous eye problems such as cataracts and these problems adversely affect their life in a massive way.

This years theme for World Sight Day is #MakeVisionCount and they are raising awareness that around 285 million people worldwide are visually impaired and that around 80% of those people are suffering from blindness or visual impairment due to a preventable cause (1).

I have no real idea of the impact blindness would cause on my every day life, so yesterday afternoon I did something simple and put on a blindfold and tried to navigate my house. It was after school so the kids were there if I needed them and I told them to just treat me as normal. I managed a trip to the loo on my own and I could do that OK although I have to admit I found it very scary living in the darkness, even only for a short time.

Just as I was about to come out I heard one of my girls calling my name and it was pretty shocking that I couldn't actually tell which of my twins it was. When I identified it was Miss E she said come and help me with my maths homework mum and normally I help her read the questions as she is dyslexic and it can take her a while but of course I couldn't do that. I had to ask my son to help her. Then my other daughter asked for a snack and could she have a cream cheese and ham wrap? I decided to attempt this without my sight as I wouldn't be using a sharp knife or such and it was fine but it took me twice as long, was pretty messy and she ended up with chicken slices rather than ham.

Hunger - it shouldn't be happening!

Next Friday I'm going along to one of the local Food Bank projects to see how it operates and investigate if I can help out on a regular basis. I know that hunger and poverty is rife in the world, I saw it firsthand when I travelled to Ethiopia with ONE in 2012. I also saw it far closer to my own home when I lived in Hertfordshire and befriended a lady who through a set of crappy circumstances had ended up without enough money to feed herself and her kids.

Since moving to East Sussex I've realised that Hastings is probably an area with a high level of poverty but I never realised how much of a problem it is. Tonight I've been investigating and according to the Campaign to End Child Poverty the level of children living in poverty (and thus hungry) in Hastings across all areas is 31%. When you look at some individual areas the figure is as high as 47% and I kid you not when I say I have a massive lump in my throat as I read that and type this.

I needed to read it too, it is so easy to live a comfortable life and think that everyone else is OK, but they are not and it is up to all of us to make a difference and do something about it and yes that is big and scary and feels like a massive weight but you only have to look at the progress being made in the battle to end world extreme poverty (defined as a person living on less than $1.25 per day for all their needs). In the last 20 years is has been halved and if we continue at the same pace it could be virtually wiped out by 2030 and that is surely something to whoop for joy about.

Taken in Ethiopia. Image Credit - Karen Walrond/ONE

So I choose not to get bogged down and to fall into the doldrums because the problem feels too big but I pledge to help with the Hastings food bank and to chat to people who are using the service and to help them feel valued and heard. But it is not enough for me to just help out locally I also have to keep playing my part in the bigger plan and I'll do that by working with the charities and NGOs that I believe in, like ONE, Compassion, Plan, Save the Children and Tearfund.

I'm trying to stay more up to date with what is going on at the moment, which campaigns are happening, who needs support and what with and also I'm heading to Washington, USA in October for the AYA Summit with ONE. At this meeting I will get to meet a whole host of inspirational women, and just like I was when I went to Ethiopia I expect to be fully humbled and inspired to do more, fight harder and be better. I feel more privileged than I can ever express to have this opportunity, in fact when the email came through inviting me I asked if they really wanted me, surely there were better advocates to spend the cost of the airfare on but it seems ONE believe in me and the people reading my blog and being influenced by my writing and travels. I sincerely thank you readers (friends) for taking the time to take small steps which help us change the world and change perceptions too.

I've never been to America before and I've not been on a plane since my amazing blogger journeys in 2012 but these are not the things that are really exciting me. What is really blowing my mind is the chance to meet some change makers. African women who with the necessary education and tools are making a massive difference within their families and communities. These are the real champions who are slicing the figures for those living in extreme poverty and I pray they impact me and inspire me to keep taking small steps or maybe even to return to the UK and to take a really bold and scary step. Who knows what lays ahead for me...

Can you add your voice and help ONE to campaign for an end to extreme poverty?

If you are not familiar with who ONE are, then please take a look at earlier posts of mine - here, here and here or Liska from New Mum Online interviewed me about ONE and you can read that post. Or go and check out the website. They will never ask you for money, they are an NGO (non-governmental organisation) not a charity, what they require is your support and voice. Can you sign a petition, tweet a message, talk to friends, share on FB or speak to your MP - all those things make a difference when a massive collective of people do them.

I'll leave you with this very short video, I've shared it before but I love it.  It is a bunch of kids talking about why poverty is not our problem!


Disclosure: ONE have invited me to be their guest at the AYA summit in October and they will be paying my expenses to be there. I fully believe in the work they do and I have not been instructed what I must write, I am free to be honest and always am.

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