In His Time

By the time this post publishes I'll have delivered a short session tonight on this very subject. As I sat and wrote the material I realised I probably ought to capture the essence of my talk here on the blog as it is always good to look back and see where God is working.

In the age we live in, the general expectation is that we can have what we want, when we want it and predominantly people want things NOW.

It is an age of instant gratification and there is no need to wait for anything.

• You want food – go ahead and eat it, it is not rationed.
• You want a car - buy it, even if you don’t have the money, there are loans readily available.
• You want an intimate relationship with someone – then just have a one night stand, everyone is doing it after all, what's the issue?

But life is different for us, as Christians we are proud to rely on God’s word and His instructions for our lives and he very clearly tells us to ‘be in this world but not to be of it’. But what does that mean?

Romans 12: 2 (NLT) says "Don't copy the behaviour and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." 

Living to excess....... no more!

I'm very embarrassed writing this post but as a Christian I always feel when you recognise wrong behaviour and make a decision to change that you need to repent. I know many people hate that word, it sounds hard and not very forgiving but actually repentance is all about forgiveness. But it is not enough for me to pay lip service to whatever the sin is that I am turning my back on. Oh no, I have to confess my sins and then stop partaking in them and that is not always easy if I'm honest.

The dictionary tells us that the definition of repent is 'to feel sorry, self-reproachful or contrite for past conduct' and this of course is true. When we do wrong, we need to recognise it and as a Christian I must say sorry but it is not enough to just apologise and carry on with the sin or wrong-doing. Biblical repentance is about turning from sin and waking away from that past behaviour, thoughts or whatever it was. I am so lucky to have a perfect and loving God who has already paid the price for all the sins I have. So it is imperative that I do my part and try to live a life that Jesus would be proud of. You all know I'm fallible, I tell you enough on here and my blog strap line is about my imperfect journey but I cannot just rest on my laurels.

For years I have struggled with my weight and there is so much tied up in this problem. I know my overeating is sinful, I am full of greed and a glutton at times and until I am ready to give the issue to God it will remain with me, as it is far bigger than I am and I don't seem able to tackle it alone.

It was a revelation to me this week though that other areas of my life were filled with glutinous behaviour too. I have been tidying out some of the cupboards ready for our move and I started on my wardrobe and considering I have cleared it twice in the last year and given away probably at least 50 items of clothing, I was still able this time to clear about another 50 items. Great for the charity shop but why did I have that much to start with?  Sinful instant gratification is much of the answer, some things I gave away had labels and others were worn once and it does not end there, I know I have a large vacuum pack of clothes in the loft as well that still need sorting.

I gave away all this -

and Lord I want to turn away from the excess that has been in my life. I don't need to stuff my face with food or spend money to stifle my emotions or to try and deal with stuff I do not even consciously acknowledge is happening.

I desire to be content and to be able to talk about my feelings, emotions, fears etc and then to deal with them. No more food or shopping is necessary. As I write this it is late at night and when I wake tomorrow morning I pray Lord that you will help me to stay in the moment and to be really present so that I do not 'forget' that I am turning away from these sins Lord. Please draw me close and keep me there, help me to stay strong even if this is really uncomfortable.  I must remember to rely on you Lord. Holy Spirit come and fill me so there is no room left that I am trying to fill with anything other than you.

Lord I pray the Anglican prayer of confession -

Almighty God, our heavenly Father, 

we have sinned against you 

and against our neighbour 

in thought and word and deed, 

through negligence, through weakness, 

through our own deliberate fault. 

We are truly sorry, 

 and repent of all our sins. 

For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, 

who died for us, 

forgive us all that is past; 

and grant that we may serve you in newness of life 

to the glory of your name. 

Amen.

Tomorrow is a new day and one I look forward to with a sense of anticipation and expectation.  The Lord can work miracles and I ask for one to help me be more Christlike.

Anyone been in the same boat and got any encouraging words for me please?

  -----------------------------------------------------------------

If you like what you have read and want to stay up-to-date then subscribe by email for free and receive blog posts directly to your in-box - just click the link Subscribe to Mummy From The Heart... by Email or perhaps you like to keep all your blog reading in one place, if that is the case you can follow me on BlogLovin too!

Teaching your children the value of money

Image Source

Over the years I have seen many conversations erupt online about pocket money and how much your kids should get.  People seem to be focused on how much is age appropriate?, what is it OK for them to spend it on? and should they work for their money?  I think they are all good questions and ones my husband and I have chatted over quite a few times in the nine years since we had JJ.

I have to be honest and say that until dh gave me a lesson in money management I was pretty rubbish with my money. I am not sure why this was, I did not come from a rich family and my parents are extremely hard working with a sound work ethic.  From the age of 14 I worked outside the home and earned my own money but I also spent my own money - yes all of it! I do not really have a recollection of any conversations with my parents about money and budgeting and perhaps that was part of the problem, who knows?

As a child (and even now if I am honest) I also received an awful lot from my parents in the way of purchases (as well as time, love and attention) and maybe this just gave me a thirst for buying things and the thrill that shopping can give. When it comes to spending I know my worst addictive personality traits rear their ugly head, I love that instant gratification of feeling good when you buy something new.  Luckily I am now old enough and wise enough to realise it lasts just a fleeting moment and is not worth it.

Anyway enough about me, back to the kids. From birth dh and I set up a savings account for our children and we would put money in each month (just a small amount) and also pay in money from things like birthdays, if they received a lot. Each child now has a nice little nest egg and in the future when they are allowed access to this money they will be able to buy a car, use it towards a deposit or university or perhaps go travelling with it.  Something big and impactful, we have not scrimped to save this money for it to be wasted on nights out and new handbags!

What we have realised is that it is important for us to set up a second account for each child, one they can manage and have full access to. At nine JJ is very money savvy, we have been encouraging him to do his own cash transactions since he was about three years old. Not only does this improve your child's confidence but it starts to help them recognise coins and realise how much things cost. He is a regular at Game and trades in his DSI games when he is bored of them knowing he can save for a better game, he has also helped with car boot sales and is willing to do jobs for his money. All good I feel.

JJ receives £2 a week and he is allowed to decide what he does with this money, sometimes he buys a Beano comic, others football stickers and more often than not he enjoys putting it in his money box and watching it add up so he can buy something bigger, like a longed for Lego set.

I think the key thing is that dh and I are not afraid to be honest with our kids.  I'll often tell them we cannot afford something or speak to them about the compromises we need to make. They all realise that I work so we can have holidays each year, when they moan about going to after school club once a week I ask them what they would prefer - once a week there and family holidays or the opposite? It is good to help your kids learn that not everything comes easy in life, we have to save and compromise and that is the way the world spins.

My girls are now five years old and they are chalk and cheese with money, as in everything else. Miss E likes to save her pennies and look at them and count them and see she has lots, whereas Miss M wants to spend them all but I don't think it is about greed and the ownership of what is bought, it is about the excitement that being able to pay brings. It appears to make her feel grown up and this summer she has generously offered to pay for everything we have done from her own money. If only she had enough to substantiate that offer.

I'll share with you some principles that dh and I have applied in regards to pocket money and our children. I hope they act as useful tips for you -

1. Talk to your children about money, do not push it under the carpet.  It is OK for them to understand some things are out of your budget, others are infrequent luxuries and that there are ways to make your money go further.
2. Get your child to start undertaking transactions in shops or at car boot sales. I have found that this improves both money awareness and also confidence to talk to new people in different situations.
3. When deciding how much pocket money to give your child, think about your own financial situation, what can you afford and what are you expecting them to buy from the money? Will you give it weekly or monthly and does it need to be earned?
4. Once you have decided the pocket money you will give, let your child spend it how they wish. Yes really, even if they want to blow £2 on rubbish sweets or something you deem a waste of money. When they have done it and start to ask you for more money or to buy something for them that opens the way for you to have a conversation about how different it could have been if they had chosen to spend half and save half. They will learn I promise.

And that's about it.  Share with me any tips you have for helping your children to understand the value of money.