What does my blog say about me?

I made a bit of a decision a week or so ago that I would not be taking many sponsored posts on Mummy from the Heart any more. It is a strange time on the face of it to make that decision - I have finished my paid job, registered self-employed so I could do more blogging work and dh is earning less than he did fifteen years ago! It's a bit comical really but it feels right, I got the feeling that God did not want me constantly selling my blog to the highest bidder.

My blog started out as a way to record the great things my kids and our family are getting up to, it then progressed into a peek into the life of an average imperfect Christian. I knew that my blog was supposed to show people that we are not all freaks and that life is very normal as a Christian, we just know that God is on our side and this helps us to get through some immense times and to remember to live with intention and compassion.

Somewhere along this five year journey I feel like things got a bit lost and my blog became a money making machine instead of a beloved friend. I am of course very tempted when I get offered £80 or £100 to write a post but it just does not feel right any more, I don't really need that money. Yes I might want it but that is quite different and no one died happy because they were rich.

I found when I was taking sponsored posts that I would feel pressured and that might make me short with my kids or less inclined to sit down and have a game of monopoly or to read a book with them. I also know I lost readers because of this and I'm sad about that but you never know they might come back now things will be a bit more me and a lot less brand around here.

I took a look through my blog today and wondered if a stranger arrived here today what would they learn about me? What am I telling/ showing them are my values and the most important things in my life? Back in July they might have learnt that I was avidly trying to earn money as we had a mortgage and no wages to pay it!

Right now I believe they will look at my blog and learn that I live in a beautiful place in the countryside and that I'm really appreciating the land and space here. They will see me spending lots of time with my kids out and about and doing cooking and baking. It will be evident that I'm a Christian and live for Jesus and as a result of this I find joy in most things and choose to be grateful every day. They will also see that our family is very lucky and we get to review some great holidays, days out and products.

I'm pleased to say that they will see Mich. They will see what I'd like people to see, the real me. I sure hope it stays that way.

Have you ever viewed your last 20 or so posts and seen what a stranger would view if they landed on your blog? What impression would they get of you? and is it the one you want to be presenting?

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Dear bloggers - be careful what you wish for....

In terms of the UK blogging scene I feel a bit like a Grandma now.  I have been hanging round like a bad smell since 2009 and this means I have been through quite a number of (both personal and bloggy) ups and down and seen lots of phases, linkys, memes, awards, spats and all the other stuff too.

You are probably aware that one human year is the equivalent to seven dog years, well I have a new ratio for you - one human year is the equivalent to 10 blog years. So, if you mature by 10 years for each year you have been around the blogging scene and I started blogging at age 36 that makes me now in excess of 70 years old and much wiser with it!

I thought it was high time I shared some of this worldly blogger wisdom with you and the biggest thing I want to share is to be careful what you wish for.  It is really easy as a new blogger to believe that the grass is greener on the side of the established blogger.

We often see new bloggers wishing that they -

• could receive loads of comments on every post published
• have thousands of page views per day
• could hit the top of the parenting ranking charts
• have an inbox full of PR emails
• could attend the best events
• are noticed on twitter by everyone and his dog, this of course results in a Klout score of about 92

But guess what? Blogging is a double edged sword.  For every plus that comes with one of those things listed above, there are the polar opposites too. And I have to be honest and say I get very fed up of those newer bloggers whining about the downsides of blogging once they start to get what they wished for. No-one promised roses remember!

We (me included in the early days and still sometimes when my insecurities raise their head) wish for the heady heights of blogger stardom. We want to be the best blog out there, the one that everyone loves to visit and chat about, we want to attend the glam parties with the big fish but I personally find it is all incredibly hard work and it takes a lot of effort to sustain.

It might be your bag to work your arse off to have the best blog out there and if it is, fair play, stop reading now as this is not for you.

If however, blogging is a great hobby - where you meet some friends, showcase your work, record wonderful family memories, receive a few perks and it does not dominate your life then keep on remembering that being really popular is bloody hard work. I promise you that if you get too tied up in the pursuit of bloggy stardom without thinking through the consequences then you might just end up very unhappy.

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Let me share the other edge of the knife with you, the realism of the dream if you like -
         

You desire….	It feels ….
100's of comments	like hard work, they all need responding to  & you should reciprocate. How many blogs can you get round in 2 hours do you reckon?  Pressure!
1000's of pageviews	bloody good.... but you then have a taste for it and YOU MUST BLOG EVERY DAY!
to be top of the charts	like even more work, you need to work out a plan & every day no fail - tweet, join in linkys, Triberr, google +, stumble, digg, pin, LAB & promote even more…  Oh and don't forget to help other bloggers, offer advice, write for other sites and offer your time for events too!
to receive all the best PR pitches	1. demoralising - as many address you as 'hey you', 'Dear Sylvia' (who is Slyvia?) etc & it takes hours to answer them all, as you want to remain professional.     2. like even more pressure as you end up over committing yourself and then resent the free crap you were sent and have to write about (OK it might not be crap, it might be worth £150 but do you need it?/ Will it make you happy?)
to attend the best events	like it can't be achieved - you need to work, walk the dog, cook meals, look after the kids, do school drops and get in and out of London every other day - arrgghh!
to be the top tweeter out there	like you can never have a holiday, as if you do your Klout score may just go down.  Oh well, who needs a rest anyway?

                           
OK maybe I exaggerate a bit, but you get my point, yes?  Please don't moan about something that you desired. If it is making you unhappy and it is not for you then make a change. Take your name off lists, make it clear you do not want PR pitches, remove yourself from a ranking. Do what it takes to make yourself feel good and balanced again but please don't litter the places I visit with your unhappy or sarky posts about how PR's ought to read your blog before approaching you and how few people have commented on your blog recently.

Just stop and think to yourself what you can do about this because you cannot change them, only your reaction.

Blogging is a brilliant thing but it can take over your life and sometimes we all need to stand back and reflect. January will be my month for reflection and time out.

Anything you need to step away from right now?

Moving your blog to the next level....

Last Friday I was at BritMums Live and by this time of night I was well and truly merry!  Well that is the polite way of putting it, I was the worse for wear but luckily I am a fun and giggly drunk and I tend to still know exactly what I am up to but I lose my inhibitions.  If only I could master being that relaxed in everyday life……. maybe...... one day!

Earlier in the evening I had not been so relaxed if I am honest, I think my tweet of about 4.30pm to @Nickie72, @HerMelness, @NorthernMum1 and @RedTedArt was ‘that I was crapping myself’.  Logically I should have been fine about speaking as part of the blogger studio (Crossing the chasm – moving your blog to the next level). My paid job is as a trainer and I regularly stand up and present and facilitate training courses for between 8 – 50 people.  I write those courses and have lots of fun but speaking at BritMums Live felt like a different kettle of fish.

Nickie was our facilitator for this session or ‘Master’ as we fondly came to know her. She advised me I had to do a 5 minute introduction on myself and talk about how my blog is at the next level. All 5 speakers would do this and then we would field questions from the floor. I have to say it was a tad hard to follow Melinda as she had prepared a checklist of 10 super sensible points to consider and basically she stole the show, but that is OK as she is pretty darn amazing.

So after being nagged it's time for me to share with you what I had planned to say and I have no idea now what I actually did say.  I have had some very good comments though and even a few people tell me they were inspired or touched by what I said and that is perfect.

So who am I?

I started out by making the point that I am just an average woman and I have never had a desire to be a writer or be famous.  The reasons I blog are for personal therapy, to demonstrate that Christians can be normal too and we don’t all wear socks and sandals and because I love it. My blog was born in 2008 out of a desire to record my life with my kids, but that was far too ambitious with 7 month old twins and a 4 year old so it sat on the bloggy shelf for a year and festered.  Then in 2009 I returned to it with a renewed hunger and posted most every day.

Slow starter that I am, I kept my blog private for all of 2009 and then in early 2010 started to find the parenting blogging community and joined in….. very slowly! I just dipped my toe and then ran away from the big bad sea of bloggers for most of 2010 but it was like a drug I could not keep away from and I kept coming back for more. By the end of 2010 I was pretty well known and was ranking in the top 50 in the Tots100 and I started to find my feet and feel good about what I was doing.

January 2011 was when I started to feel like I had stopped being a newbie.  I took a regular feature from my blog ‘Grace in small things’ and made it assessable to people of all faiths or none by turning it into Reasons to be Cheerful, I still run that linky 77 weeks later. A few weeks later I held the first new bloggers fortnight and established a name for myself as someone who would reach out to new bloggers and take the time to help them and read their blogs.

You can call me marmite!

I may have been a slow starter but today I am happy with my loyal readers.  I call myself a marmite blogger, as people either seem to love or hate me and that is OK, as it is better to be that way than just bland. The most important thing I say to any blogger is to be you.  Your own unique voice is so important and it is what makes your blog readable. In blogging never imitate. Remember you don’t have to do what everyone else does to be a success.  It is good to be bold and to do something different. Find your path and your voice.

For me I realise that -

I can’t be funny like Jane is,

Nor provoke debate and have strong opinions like Nickie does

Nor create an empire like the mighty Maggy

And I don’t have an ounce of the natural talented that Melinda has but that is OK and I don’t have to.  I am me and that’s unique and many people like that. Blogging should be fun and that is individual.

Prior to this event one blogger commented to me that she would say hello if she could get through my throng of admirers and this really did make me laugh out loud, as I am just me.  A normal and average mum.

What makes someone an established blogger?

I finished by saying that for me being an established blogger is about your state of mind. Act successful and believe you have something good to offer and people will buy into it.  It sure worked for me!

All the time you believe you are new or inexperienced you will believe it and everyone else around you will believe it. Change your mindset and take a risk, step out from your norm and become known.

I read a post the other day which said that our session was vague to say the least as none of us knew what we meant by the next level and firstly let me say that I love the fact a newer blogger said what she honestly thought of the conference and made some good suggestions for next time. But let me also say we all knew what we meant by the next level but just because what we believe is different to you does not make us wrong.  Like most things in blogging there is no one right answer.  All five of us before the conference spoke about what the next level was for us and each one of us had a different idea, be it outstanding content, strong readerships, stats, state of mind, being published or whatever.

The session was billed as ‘a chance to sit down with your favourite bloggers and to pick their brains’ and yes I think BritMums were perhaps a bit ambitious when they thought that the 150 odd bloggers that attended our session might have the time to pick our brains. 45 minutes goes very quickly indeed, perhaps five bloggers is too many for a panel? Something for BritMums to ponder for next time.

To conclude -

Wouldn’t life be simple if there were published advancement points, just like there is at my work, when I reach X amount of service time or X level of competence I move up the pay scale? Blogging, like much of life is not like that, some shakers rock up and take the world by storm in 3 months and others like me take 3 years but that makes blogging rich and varied and we should treasure the diversity in our community.

It is great to move to the next level of blogging, the one where you feel good about what you are doing and you are comfortable in your own skin.  That is real success in my book.

Image Credit:  Shamelessly stolen from Her Melness Speaks

I am Beyond Popular Now.....

 Funny title, hey? Sounds like I have gone a bit big headed on you and am now seriously rating myself.  Nah, that's not it at all.

I've just had a bit of a realisation in the last few weeks that popularity has lost its appeal for me.  It's easy to get sucked in and to see your blog move up the rankings but it is all pretty meaningless really, you know in the big scheme of things. Now, I am not aiming to knock anyone here or to disrespect, I admit it, I like the rankings and the blogging awards as much as the next person but I am just keeping them in perspective, they are a bit of fun in a small part of my life.

The aim for this blog was never to be the busiest, biggest or best - it was just to be me and to help people to get to know a real Christian Mummy.  Not a perfect mummy image that a book may present or a Christian stereotype that you may have in your mind.  It was just to show that us Christians are normal too.  We mess up, we have fun, we dress OK (most of the time), we chat, we laugh and we cry but most of all we try, we live life and we enjoy it.

I mentioned to my husband a week or so ago that I seem to be being more and more overt with my faith on my blog just recently.  The mentions of God, Jesus, praying, blessings etc have increased.  I just can't seem to help myself, it is a massive part of me and it spills out of me. I know this blog is mainly read by non-Christians and I think I have done some self-censorship in the past to ensure that I did not turn off too many readers but I have got to that point in both my life and blogging journey to say sod it, if I am not your cup of tea and you don't want to visit, that is OK.  There are millions of other blogs out there you may like better but I have to be true to me and I have to mention all parts of my life if I so desire. Whilst I love having you here and reading, I am not authentic when I am not fully me. If you like me then you like my expressions of my faith too, as we are inseparable.

I wrote a post a couple of weeks back, titled 'I see you' and I loved writing it, the creativity and words just poured out of me and it was a bit of a risk.  A new style and a very overt statement of my beliefs and for a while it was my least read post but as a wise man said to me (and I had already commented to my husband too) that it is more important to be true to yourself than to be popular!

I'll leave you with that thought.....

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Blogging Awards - What's Your Opinion?



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It's that time of the year again. 

Last week I was happily reading through some of my regular blogs and I came across the first BIB (Brilliance in Blogging) badge and a post from the author asking their readers to nominate for them.  Now, before you get carried away with trying to second-guess me I do not have a problem with anyone making their readers aware of a competition or asking for their nominations/ votes.  This post is written purely from a personal perspective.

This year there are two major awards in the UK parenting blogosphere, the BritMums Brilliance in Blogging awards, which will be presented at an evening ceremony at BritMums Live in June and the MAD Blog awards, which if last year is anything to go by will be celebrated with a ceremony September time.  I have to be honest and say I would prefer if there was just one set of awards, I do not really want to have to make a choice of which to put myself up for but to be honest I don't want to have to 'go through it all' twice. Ohh decisions, decisions.

You don't have to be everyones Best Friend to be a Blogging Success

Today on the blog we have Clare, she blogs at Seasider in the City and is one of the nicest bloggers that I have had the pleasure to meet. (I tried hard to think of a word better than 'nicest' as I know some people think nice is limp but that is not the case at all). Not only is Clare nice she is also feisty, opinionated and fun to be with, well that is what I think, here is what she says about herself -

Clare is the tangerine dreamer behind Seasider in the City, with an undying love of family, golf and food and on an eternal quest to lose weight and get fit with minimal effort. The best is yet to come…
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In many areas of my life I don’t quite fit the normal stereotype. For many years I was one of the few straight members of a women’s football team, at the golf club I am very competitive which is quite unheard of amongst the women, as an IT manager I am pretty ungeeky, and certainly don’t spend my free time talking techie (unlike the group I overheard in the pub on Friday), and in the office I wear jeans and no makeup (gasp).

All these things make it at times difficult to fit in, I am not welcomed with open arms, more eyed with suspicion.

I have found blogging to be along the same lines. I see posts on blogs and forums saying you must do ‘this’ and you should never do ‘that’ and I smile to myself thinking I do exactly the opposite of that, and so what?

There are times when not being part of the ‘in’ crowd hurts a little, you see conversations on twitter and when you try and join in you are not really made welcome, sometimes you may tweet asking for help, knowing that the people that can are online right now, and you are ignored. Other times there is just the frustrating thing of commenting on a post and the blogger replies to every single other reply but not yours! It’s hard but slowly I am toughening up, developing a thick skin in blogging as I have done in the rest of my life.

Just over a year ago, when I started to write, I so desperately wanted to fit in and be liked. I would do anything not to rock the boat and jumped through hoops to try and be popular. I look back on this time and feel ashamed. It wasn’t me, who was I trying to kid – it was like turning up to work with straight hair and a full face of make-up! I even deleted a review post I had written because there was a lot of negative talk about the brand – I had no issue with the brand and I really liked the product, I didn’t even contact the PR to apologise. I removed it, just in case someone thought badly of me. How shallow!

What have I done then? I have written what and when I wanted. I join in with linkies, I review quite a lot of products. I do care about statistics though, even if I am told I shouldn’t – I like to do things well. My blog has grown beyond belief and I am proud of this, it is something I have done.

Most importantly though I have made some really good friends, pinpointed some fellow bloggers that are happy to share both their opinions and their time. They are happy to give advice whether you are brand new or been around the block a few times. They keep my feet on the ground and are a voice of reason if I think people are being mean!

My advice – don’t try too hard (at least not for too long)! If you are new and want some friends come and find me and anyone else appearing in Michelle’s new blogger fortnight – obviously you have already found the fabulous lady in question and she is well worth a follow too ;-)

Thank you Clare for sharing so honestly, I read this post and felt a little tug at my heart, in 500 words Clare summed up my life.  I have never been THE one, the one everyone wanted to be friends with.  I was always on the outskirts of the 'in' crowd and trying to fit in, trying to make sure everyone liked me.  Then a few years ago I grew up and stopped trying so hard and since then I have been a much happier woman.  When I first came to blogging, like Clare I found it incredibly tough and wanted to rise to the heady height so blogging stardom (if there is such a thing! lol) and what I found was that when I was focused on the stats and how popular my blog was I was at my most unhappiest and not feeling in the slightest joyful at what was being achieved. Things started to get taken for granted, I got to number 2 in the Wikio (now ebuzzing) parenting blog chart - so what? I had over 20,000 page views and just over 10,000 unique visitors in a month - yeah and...? My Klout score reached about 65 and my self-esteem reached about 2!

When I stay true to the reasons I blog, I am happiest and then things really do fall into place.  Making friends like Clare = result! 11,000 page views in a day on my blog as I was helping @ChristineMosler and Save the Children with their #healthworkers campaign = phenomenal and passing on the blog love in New Bloggers Fortnight - yep that rocks!

Thanks for reading, stay true to yourself and let yourself shine.  We can not all be the best read blog out there but we can all be happy and enjoy what we have instead of hankering after more and more, which I promise you might not be that satisfying at all when you get it....  You know what they say, be careful what you wish for!

Late tomorrow on New Bloggers Fortnight I welcome the superb Ruth from Geek Mummy, I put some questions to her that new bloggers had asked me and she comes up tops with the answers.  Check back to find out about SEO, no-follow links and ranking metrics.