What to Do When You're a Stay-at-Home Mum Who Wants to Go Back to Work

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When you’ve been a stay-at-home mum for a while it can be too easy to think that any career prospects you ever had have gone down the drain. Especially if you’ve been working exclusively to take care of your kids for a long time, but it’s simply not true. Whether you’ve been staying at home for twelve months or twelve years, you can get back to work and create a life that is fulfilling in terms of both work and family life.

If you’ve decided it’s time to get back into the world of work, here’s what you need to do:

Do a Self-Assesment

There is absolutely no point going back to work just for the sake of it. Don’t let anyone pressure you with their expectations. Unless you actually want to do the job or unless you really need the money, you would be better off staying at home with the kids if that is what makes you happy. So, first of all, sit down and think about what you really want to do. Do you want to go back to your old job or a similar one? Do you want to try something totally new? Do you want to do an online masters in school counseling or become a teaching assistant so you can work in school hours and term-time? Really try to pin-point your desires and then you can work on achieving those goals.

Try Things Out

It may not always be possible, but if you can try out various new careers before you make a commitment, perhaps by volunteering at a local school or doing admin for a charity to see how you go, you’ll get a greater sense of what you do or do not like and find out exactly how capable you are of doing things. It will also be an easier way for you to ease yourself back into the world of work. Over the last five years I’ve undertaken around six different volunteering roles and they have all been good for my development and confidence in different ways.

Valuing being home

This is how I now feel. I can jump for joy at accepting I'm supposed to be at home right now

I love having some time to myself during the week when the kids are at school. I never realised before how little time I had to think, life was so busy that I dashed from one thing to the next and never allowed myself the freedom to ponder, to imagine and to create new possibilities. I just accepted the first thought that popped into my head and went with it, but not anymore. Now I question myself and explore all possibilities and often come to completely new conclusions. It really is a revelation to me.

Over the last year I have been having a guilt battle in my own head. On the one hand I know how busy I am and I know that I don't sit around and watch daytime telly, I'm not a lazy kind of woman. Then on the other hand I question the value there is in what I currently do. Surely when I worked outside the home I was creating more value? Adding more money to our household account? being a better example to our kids?  But no to all of those things.

Today I was able to go for an open morning at the secondary school that JJ wants to attend, this week I can do both school drops and collects for mine and a friends kids as she is recovering from an operation, today I sat for over an hour at the table with the girls and we did maths homework and we laughed and they learnt. Also today I cooked a really tasty meal from scratch and it was ready for 5.30pm when dh got home from work so he could eat quickly and head straight out to lead cubs.

There is value in what I'm doing and I need to believe it and embrace it. If I want to sit down and read my book or watch TV for an hour then I should do it without any guilt. When did I ever feel guilty taking a lunch break at work? Never, I felt like I earned it. But I earn a break here too, the washing is up to date, the ironing done, the shopping put away, the dinner cooked and the dishes washed, the floor swept and hoovered, the beds changed and all those little things like remembering birthdays and booking holidays, yes I do those and keep this household running smoothly.

I also earn money, nowhere near what I used to earn but nowadays I can read each day with Miss E and help her with her struggles. I can chat to Miss M when she tells me the woes from her day at school and I can have a cuppa with JJ and laugh at his crazy jokes. How important is it that I connect with these little people every day?  Beyond important, it is imperative.

I enjoy my new way of life, I've got into a good rhythm and what might seem mundane to some is enjoyable and relaxing for me. When dh says to me on an evening what are you doing tomorrow, I need to hold my head high and believe I'm doing something important that adds value to our lives.

I'm making our home.

I'm nurturing our kids.

I'm stretching my artistic talent.

I'm writing to change the world.

I'm spending time with God and

I'm learning who Michelle is and what really means something to her.


This journey of discovery is good, not without its scary bits and you have to be willing to face some fears but I'd definitely recommend it.

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I've lost my way.....

Life has changed and I don't not what to say,
But I'll tell you how it feels... like I've lost my way...

I used to be so sure, I knew where I was at,
But then life changed direction and now I just feel fat.

I had goals and dreams and a direction I was heading,
now what I do is mop-up spills, cook dinner and change the bedding.

Don't get me wrong this is what I wanted,
to move here, to stop the chaos and to be confronted....
with the reality of not having a career anymore.

The truth is I feel a bit useless, I hop from one thing to the next,
wondering where to find satisfaction and seeking rest....
from the demon that says 'you offer nothing right now Mich'.

There are different seasons and times when we should do jobs,
I know this, I tell people this, but for me I just feel at odds.

Life is good and I am blessed,
and I truly wish that I could sort out my head...
to believe that I am good enough to stay home.

But today I'm focusing on the failed fancy dress,
the clubs that my kids don't attend and my life, which feels a mess.

I just need to find the new way,
the rhythm to my new kind of day.

Seek to believe that I have worth in who I am,
and not constantly strive to achieve all I can.

For constantly 'doing' is tiring and it's not want God wants,
I need to wait on Him for revelation, that must be my response.

The truth is I'm being over dramatic,
this isn't serious. Life is fantastic!


After a day of trying to make a fancy dress outfit and doing a pretty terrible job and then letting someone down I feel totally crap today but I do realise that much of this is my hormones. Being a woman stinks sometimes and getting my feelings out really helps me to move on and have a better day. So Mum if you are reading, stay chilled I'm fine. I've just got too many small things on the go at the moment and I need to see where I should be focusing my attentions.

Linking up with Vic for Prose4T, click on the badge to find more -

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If you like what you have read and want to stay up-to-date then subscribe by email for free and receive blog posts directly to your in-box - just click the link Subscribe to Mummy From The Heart... by Email or perhaps you like to keep all your blog reading in one place, if that is the case you can follow me on BlogLovin too!

It is hitting me today

A message to those who know me, this is not a particularly cheerful post, if it will upset you do not read it but it is helping me to write things down and get them out so I will continue to post about sad stuff as well as good stuff. Fundamentally I will be fine, I am sad but all will be well so no need for you to be sad too. Mich x

I have dropped JJ to breakfast club, dh to the station and the girls off to nursery and now I have the day to myself. My op is not until tomorrow now and the way things are going (slowly) I assume I will make it in there to have the operation.

Things are sinking in today - on the way back from nursery I stopped at Asda to fill up the car and buy some sanitary pads. I think that set me off, how sad to have to buy maternity pads when there is no baby to come home. I went to buy the girls a new cup each and some tangle free shampoo for Miss E and of course this was all in the baby section so there I was looking at things for babes and realising I do not need those. I walked around Asda with a massive lump in my throat and feeling sick and thinking it is just not fair to have morning sickness and not actually be carrying a live baby anymore. Luckily I caught myself having this kind of unhelpful thought and reminded myself that grieving is fine but irrational self-pity will get me nowhere. All that was running through my mind though was 'I want my baby'. Sadly, that is not to be.

I had a good old cry on the drive home from the shops, I suppose being alone today gives me time to think and to feel free to express myself. It is hard to be sad in front of your kids or at work so this may have kept me going the last couple of days. On the drive home I drove past the hospital (probably a silly mistake) and realised I would be in there tomorrow and would again probably be very sad.

I realised I am now grieving for the loss of this baby, I had really wanted the babe and had planned out in my mind the next year or so and was looking forward to time off work and my girls starting nursery school and me being there for their half days. A glorious couple of hours to myself each day with my babe, feeding and cuddling. I don't think dh and I will actually try for another baby because as I have said before logically and financially 3 is enough for us really and I also keep wondering if I ought to give up work and be at home with the children more. Would they develop into better young children if I was here to give them more time and guidance? It is not necessarily what I want but I think it may be what God is calling me too. If only we could wave a magic wand and dh would earn £10K more but I know that as Christians we have to be willing to walk in faith and that if me giving up work is the right thing then we should trust that God will provide and do the scary thing first and watch things turn out just fine - as that is often the way it works with God.

So I am off now to hang out the washing and do some cleaning I expect I may be back later.

2pm update, just had a fish finger sandwich and feeling quite a lot better. Upstairs all cleaned, tided, beds changed and floors hoovered and now going to have an hour to myself until I pick up my gorgeous little man from school.