Thursday, 17 December 2009

I obviously needed my ED meeting tonight

It was the night of the big work do, I have been looking forward to it, have a nice outfit ready, it is a free buffet and bar, loads of music, bands, tribute acts and even a casino in a brand new multi-million ££ complex and I just could not be arsed to go tonight! So I didn't. I seemed to be coming up with every excuse under the sun not to go, the adverse weather being the main one.

However, there I was at 7.40pm tonight driving 10 miles to my ED meeting, instead of going to the party! I then left only about 40 minutes after the meeting started as I could see the snow had settled and was looking worse and worse. It took me near on an hour to get home and I saw accidents but I made it here thanks to God. I was worried on the drive home and like jelly when I walked in the door but I also felt good that I had overcome one of my irrational fears and driven quite a distance in nasty snow on ungritted roads.

My eating has been pretty crap for days now and my head seems to be everywhere, so I was pleased I made it there and I feel quite strong and willing to be abstinent at the moment. Please Lord may that last. I want to be willing to hand my eating over to you. Please help me not to shop for unwise choices and help me to clear the things out the cupboard that should not be there. I really wish to be well and have clarity of thought. Help me to stay in the day, focusing on just that one day at a time and not projecting for the future. Help me also to mind my own business and to stop being judgemental or interfering in what others do. Only I can live my life and only they can live there - help me to remember that please.

Lord I trust in you and thank you for loving me. Amen

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