How to Prepare Your Teenager for College/ University

Image Credit: Pixabay

 {This is a collaborative post}

We all know teenagers have their moments, they can be a delight one minute and difficult to talk to the next. Being aware of your own style of communication is key, if you’re too forceful then you may be ignored or pushed back, and if you are too soft then you might not give them the motivation they need.

When broaching the subject of college or university however, there are a few things that you can do to keep the lines of communication open, and the parental relationship on sound terrain!

1.      Start the Conversation Early

Of course you want to help your teen consider which college or university might be right for them, and it is best to start this conversation earlier than you might think. The sooner you start the conversation, the less time pressure there is and the easier it is for them to adjust to the idea of potentially leaving home and becoming more independent.

You can ask around your friends for good experiences their older children have had, and collect some prospectuses for them. if your child has one of those rosielovescake@hotmail.co.uk kind of email address then it is probably a good idea, to help them to set up a new more professional email address. Then encourage them to independently email colleges for the information they require.

Reasons to be Cheerful - Feeding Giraffes, Time with my Mum & Being over 40!

Happy Thursday friends.

Can you believe it is September already? This year seems to be whizzing by in a flash and I'd quite like it to slow down really! The weather also seems to have moved into Autumn and I am thinking of packing my summer clothes away.

My parents and Aunt have been to stay with us for nearly a week and it has been good to have them here. They've been babysitters for us so we could have a night away to Port Lympne Reserve and also visit the cinema to see The Shack. My kids really love their grandparents so it is always special for them all to spend time together. I love that JJ chose to spend the day with them when he had an extra inset day off school. Many near 14 year old's would just stay home instead!

Here are my hubby and I getting settled into our home for the night last Friday. Giraffe Lodge was an amazing experience and one we were so lucky to enjoy. I love how happy my husband looks in this photo.

Reinstating our Date Nights with Pistachio and Orange Crusted Lamb #MiniRoast

Date night in Hastings earlier this year

My husband and I have been married for fourteen years now but together for twenty-two and with three tween and teenage kids it can be hard to find the space to make time for us to just be a couple. 

Sometimes (no idea why) we seem to be better at this than others. If I'm honest we have not been great at carving out time for ourselves in recent months, we've stolen moments after dinner to chat or had the odd cinema night but we've not had a really good long chat for some time. I think the last time might have been the beginning of May when we went for some food and then had a long walk along the seafront in Hastings and visited the new pier. I do love those times when we have no agenda and we just wonder and chat about whatever is on our hearts at that point.

I've realised that I do need to be more intentional again and make sure we are having the opportunity to have those special times together. One of the barriers is how often we are in the house on an evening together. At the moment this is only a Wednesday and Saturday and I have to admit that I love a full family Saturday night with snacky food and trashy TV, so that just leaves Wednesdays but a week night isn't always ideal after dh has been at work all day and the kids have homework. I'll have to be a big girl and give up my trashy Saturday night TV every once in a while as well as making time on a Wednesday.

Things I have learnt this week...

It has been a good week, you know one of those satisfying weeks where lots has been done but I have also had loads of great time with my kids and work was full on but satisfying.  A blissful week really!

So what was different about this week? A bit of a double whammy really - my boys have been away this week, for the whole week and this has happened before, a few times in fact but this it the first time that things have continued as normal at home whilst they have been away.  I have been at work, the girls at nursery and Nanny has not been to stay with us.  You see, this is what normally happens when the boys go away.  Mum and I take it as an opportunity to have some girl time, I book the time off work and we have our own holiday at home but we are off on our real holidays in a couple of weeks and my work is full on at the moment, so I decided this time I ought to be grown up and see if I can single handidly parent a couple of pesky twinnies for a week!

I survived and so did they and in the process here are some of the things I have learnt this week -

• A house is far easier to look after with just 3 people in it, even if one of those 3 is the biggest mess maker of all. I suppose when I only have to have enough emotional energy and patience for 2 kids rather than 3 I can be more 'on form' and able to engage the kids in all sorts to help me clean and sort things
• My house is quiet without my vivacious boy, I did not realise how much I had missed him until I set eyes on him again
• and better than that, as soon as he saw me he gave me a big hug and a kiss, told me he had missed me and he had bought me a gift from his own pennies (we must be bringing them up all right!)
• I can do it, I can look after my kids on my own and not fall over! In fact better than that, without burning myself out I can do loads of activities with the girls and have some fun times out with them all as part of a normal week
• That it is worth feeling fat and getting in my swimming cossie even when all the other Mums are not, because I had the best fun having an hour in the water with my little girls.  Their squels of delight as I threw them up in the air and dipped them back in the water were reward in themselves.
• That I like life in the summer holidays, no school walks, no after school clubs or kids for tea and no picking dh up from the station, it all makes such a difference
• That running a very busy training course can be completely satisfying, I do hope next Monday and Tuesday feel the same, wish me luck with the 90 people I will train on those 2 days, arrggh

I'm loving this picture!  My boy on camp blowing his trumpet!

But my biggest learning by far has been that I need to do more to please myself and make sure I get some rest and relaxation when dh and JJ are home.  I am not intrinsically a selfish person, it is not my nature to just take care of myself so next time I feel I should have a rest or read a book for 1/2 an hour I must listen, take note and then act on it.  For some strange reason I always have the feeling I should be constantly busy and that I should explain myself to dh if I am not.  This is a bit crazy as he is not the kind of guy to question what I do and I certainly do not think he would ever accuse me of letting the house or the kids go. 

I have felt so free and happy just answering to myself this week and I need to make sure this continues.  If I am too knackered to cook a full meal, then so be it.  I do not need to answer to dh, he does not demand or expect it, so I do not know why I feel a crazy internal pressure to perform and do it.  I actually think that if I am more relaxed and focused in the moment, rather than planing and living life at break-neck speed we will be happier and more fulfilled as a couple and as a family.  If I show some vulnerability and ask him to help and cook the meal he may even appreciate being needed, don't you think?


How about you, are you good at looking after yourself?