8 Reasons Not to Take Part in a Shoe Box Appeal (Operation Christmas Child)

Christmas, it is a time for giving and for receiving but for me, much more than that it is a time of goodwill, for thinking of others, for being generous and for reaching out.

You'll see lots of blog posts at this time of year from people taking part in shoe box Christmas gift schemes (particularly Operation Christmas Child) and your children might come home from school, church or something like brownies with a leaflet asking you to help and make a shoebox of gifts for a child, family or elderly person in need.

What do you do with this leaflet? That request from your children? Because let's be honest most kids want to get involved, their heart is to do something kind.

Do you bin the leaflet and hope your kid will forget? Do you tell them 'No, we are not getting involved as that charity is making kids become Christians'? Do you quickly remember how low your bank balance is and decide that £10 would be better off spent on your own child? Or maybe you adopt that age-old opinion, that charity starts at home.

Let's be honest, it is completely up to you what you do. No-one has to do anything they do not want to and no-one has the right to judge you for your choices. You just have to be happy yourself with what you choose to do or as the case may be, don't do.

What do I do to make him feel loved?

I was over at Veriily Victoria Vocalises the other day reading a crowd sourced post that Vic had written called 'The Things we do for love'. It was about the great things that partners and husbands do for some female bloggers and these things ranged from morning cups of tea to buying a diamond a year.

I started to wonder what my husband did for me and before I could get too far in my thought process I caught myself and turned the question around. What do I do for my husband? What are the little things that let him know that I love him? That he is my one and only?

It would have been far too easy to get caught up with the green eyed monster and to start to feel gloomy that he does not buy me a diamond a year and yes, I do have a real penchant for diamonds. Before kids he bought me lots of them, after kids not so much so. Or I could have felt disgruntled that he does not rub my feet or buy me flowers every week but then I have to stop and ask myself do I want those things?  No being the answer, they are not the love gestures that would make a difference for me.

So back to the question I posed for myself, what do I do to make him feel loved? and you know what I'm struggling with this.  Firstly I'm struggling as after twenty years I'm not that sure what it is that makes him feel loved.  Recently I did the free online love languages test and it showed that the ways I feel love most are physical touch and then words of affirmation and quality time in equal measure. It is funny as I had assumed that the things that might talk love to me were dh giving me gifts or perhaps when he is helpful around the house but as I read my profile I really recognised myself and knew it was true. I've therefore realised that I need to get my husband to do this test so that I can find out exactly what ways I need to show him my love.

Most things I do, I do with a smile because I love my family. I like to keep a nice house, I try to cook vegetarian meals my husband will like when no-one else in the family is veggie, I arrange date nights so we can go out together and I make sure we function as a family with lots of fun time out together. I'd like to tell you I tell him I love him regularly or that I grab him for impromptu hugs but actually I've slipped on those fronts in recent times and I have to pray that gifts is not his primary love language as I rarely buy him anything as he is that guy that wants nothing.

So thinking this through and writing this post has really bought to my attention that I need to mend my ways and take more time and care to show my husband just how much he means to me. I got told recently that if you want a good friend you need to be a good friend first and this has to surely be the same in your relationship too.

It is time for me to stop taking my relationship for granted and to start upping my game. I think we need a date night this week and I better find out what he wants from me.

Come on ladies, share with me, what do you do for your partner? I need some ideas to get me going.....

Thanks, Mich x

A great priviledge

I feel incredibly lucky that my family and I can afford to sponsor two children in other countries. Every month we pay £50 to Compassion.org so that two children can be part of a Christian program which enables them to be schooled, enjoy fun activities, attend life skills courses, benefit from supplemental nutrition if they need it and receive gifts on important dates.

I often find that when I mention child sponsorship most people agree that it is a wonderful thing to do and then they quickly tell me how they wish they could afford it. Let me just assure you we are not rich, not by any means. In fact I'm wiling to bet that we earn less than 90% of you reading this but we are all different and we make our own choices and that's OK. So as I say we are not rich, well not in a monetary sense anyway, we are however incredibly rich in all that we have in our life and particularly being able to support these two children.

Carl Henri, from Hiati has been a part of our lives since 2005 and through his letters and photos we have watched him grow and mature. He is now 15 and when his most recent letter arrived I cried as it was such a blessing to hear him say he loved us and prayed for us. He then updated us on his news and asked for prayer and talked about his church and the choir he belongs to. Like us he goes to a Baptist church and it felt special to know we have this common ground. From the immature drawings of a red car that we often used to find on our letters to the letters he now pens himself and requests our prayers in he is growing into a lovely young man.

We also sponsor Priya but this only started in 2012, so this is a relatively new relationship and I feel we are still in the early stages of developing a bond. Priya is 10 and lives in India and we choose her as she shares a birthday with our JJ and my dh had just returned from a mission trip to India.

As a Christian we believe that tithing (or giving) is something which is of the utmost importance and it is something we do before we have met our bills and thought about the 'norms' of our everyday life, like whether the girls can do a dance class (they don't) or JJ can attend judo (he doesn't either, but he hopes to). We like to have the children involved by getting them to do drawings r help to write the letters, this gives them a sense of what is happening in the world and helps them to develop their compassion for others.

We sponsor through Compassion as we are Christians and it is important to us that we invest our money in an organisation that we believe to be honourable and working to the same life principles and ethos as us. Some people are sceptical of child sponsorship programs but there is evidence to suggest the schemes work and certainly we feel comfortable with our decision to spend money in this manner.

Other large reputable providers of child sponsorship include - Plan UK, World Vision and ActionAid

I'd urge you to think about what a difference you could make to a child living in poverty. Some of the schemes start from as little as £3.50 per week.

This post HAS NOT been sponsored in any way.

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Giving is receiving

All the Operation Christmas Tree shoeboxes that have been collected at my local church.
My family and I were happy to give quite a few from us.

Recently I've discovered the Pigeon Pair and Me blog written by Nell, she is embarking on a journey for a year to gift things to other people. All sorts of things. It makes for interesting reading, go and take a peek.

On 17th December she is hosting the BritMums carnival and has set the theme as a carnival of gifts and she is asking people to share where they have given something away.

This really got me thinking about the act of giving and how important it is as a biblical principle. As Christians we understand that everything we have is a gift from God and as such it is just loaned to us and we do not really own it. There is no point in accumulating wealth for the sake of it, money is to be used wisely and not stockpiled. I have to be honest and say this is a lesson that takes some getting used to when you become a Christian, as our society teaches us that if you work hard you can do well and have it all. Wealth and status are seen as indicators of success and actually this is so off the mark. Some of the most successful and content people I know are not wealthy.

Things like regularly giving other people money, putting credit on their electric meter, buying them shoes when they need them or doing grocery shopping for someone else are not the norm here in the UK, but truly they are lessons in humility and gratitude for all you have. Why should some have so much and others so little? It is easy to try and justify it by how hard you work or how lazy they appear to be but we are all Gods children and it makes Him proud to see us caring for each other. My last Church family taught me some amazing lessons in how to share what I have and I was so blessed by the progress I saw in the lives of others as the love and care we show makes a difference to them. Also just think what a great example it is showing to my children as they grow up knowing some people had very little and we opened our house to them and helped make their everyday just a little bit more comfortable.

Giving is an everyday part of my life and that is just the way I like it. I am a different person to who I was  eleven years ago before I became a Christian. I can say for sure I am a better person for all the giving I have done in that time and I look forward to finding out what else I need to give away in the future. Some might say we gave up our security when we sold our house this summer and moved to East Sussex, we now live in a borrowed house and earn just a third of what we earned before but actually the freedom we have gained has been worth it. We are now tie free and can go where God asks us to.

We are all called to be good stewards of everything God has gifted us, we must not waste the money or resources we have but discern the best way to use them. I don't always get it right but I'm learning and I'm willing and that is important.

I'm excited to see what my future holds and I know one thing for sure I receive far more than I give and in giving I receive a great deal of satisfaction.

How about you, what is your stance on giving? Does it need to be reciprocal? Or can you literally just gift it?

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Operation Christmas Child: Insider shoebox tips

I have made many Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes up over the years and always really enjoyed doing it.  Each year I try and make the boxes for less money but include better quality items.  It is quite a challenge but a fun one for someone like me who likes shopping and thrifty buying!

Having completed the full circle this year from buying the items and packing a box (or 6), to helping out in a warehouse to then travelling to Belarus and putting the shoeboxes in the hands of children - I have gained quite an insight and learnt so many new things, so I thought it was only right that I share.

Favourite items in the box

I have to be honest and say that not one child I came across got excited by the toiletry items. It might just be that in Belarus they do have this sort of thing available to them but basically, they all just looked past those as they saw them in the box.  That is unless they were particularly fun, the type of wash mitts that are characters was pretty popular.

By far the most popular things were as you would expect - the toy item.  They really seemed to love the traditional toys, the girls loved dolls and the boys liked cars, planes etc. It was an eye-opener to hear the kids ask me what some items were, I realised that when we make the boxes up we use our Western, affluent perspective and put in the things that might be popular with our kids, like the plastic 'silly bandz' bracelets - they had no idea what these were.

Also popular - hats, gloves and scarfs, colouring items, cuddly toys and jewellery.

Tips from the warehouse

I went and spent a few enjoyable hours at a local warehouse checking the boxes and this turned out to be really enlightening, I'll share with you the thrifty tips I learnt there -

1.  Include ribbon in girls boxes, they love to tie their hair up and make it look pretty.  This costs us just pennies and just because it is not fashionable here right now does not mean children in other countries would not like them. And actually, look my Miss E loves ribbons in her hair.

2.  You can make up your own craft pack to include with the box. Look at below - some Christmas card fronts, coloured paper, perhaps ribbons, stickers and sparkles and a small glue stick and there you go - an instant pack of joy for a child.  I bought a pack of 12 small glue sticks in Sainsbury's in the summer for under £1 - crafts packs really can just cost pennies if you collect items in the sales and such.

3.  You can buy multi-packs of toothbrushes, soap etc and then just bag them up in a cheap sandwich bag or clingfilm.  I have always bought single packs as I thought they had to be wrapped, but now I know you can wrap them yourself and this will make things even better value. Make sure those soaps are wrapped so they don't stink the box out and of course no soaps which look like food, we do not want to be confusing the kids that have not seen anything like before!

4.  Can you knit?  Yes, then you are onto a winner. Any kind of knitted item seemed to go down well, you can't do stuffed toys because of the fire safety issues but hats, gloves, puppets and even small handbags go down a storm. Look at these super cute little bags made from a child's metal bangle and a knitted sack - simple and perfect.

5.  I have been chatting to a great lady, Tricia who helps out each year at the Wirral warehouse and asking her about her top tips.  She reminded me that the cheapest items are often left out and are so appreciated by the kids. So please do remember to include some paper (pad etc) and sweets in each box.

6. You can clean up and repurpose fashion dolls as the kids abroad love the traditional toys. A new hairstyle, a bit of make-up and some handmade clothes do the dolls up a treat and they are so appreciated. Or if you have the skills, you could sew a doll and her own blanket.

7. It was also pointed out to me that Chinese takeaway dishes (you know the plastic-type with a lid) can make great boxes for home-made puzzles, bracelet kits and board games made with bottle tops. There are some very clever and creative types out there. Check out the Wirral OCC community page on Facebook as well as the official OCC UK Facebook page for great ideas.

8. My biggest tip and the one I hear time and time again from everyone who is involved with making boxes is to plan and buy all year round. Not all items in £1 shops are badly made tat, if you regularly keep an eye you can buy great things and buying a little each month as the year goes by spreads the cost and makes it more affordable to make up a box or two.

Thank you to everyone involved in OCC, my increased involvement this year has been such a privilege. Just look at the picture below to know what a difference you make. 

Why not pin this post for later?

Bloggers Haiti Appeal

The blogging community is coming together to make a donation to buy some shelterboxes for the affected people in Haiti. Isn't that wonderful! I love to hear of good human nature winning over and people coming together to do something selfless. Unfortunately I won't be able to make a contribution to this worthy appeal as dh and I have already made a substantial contribution to the aid supplies in Haiti via Compassion, and I would urge you to make a donation, it does not matter where (as long as you know it to be a trustworthy charity!) but just help how you can and if you cannot financially donate then please pray.

Here is the link for the bloggers for Haiti just giving page, this has been running about 24 hours and already there is in excess of £1300 donated. A superb effort and well done to EnglishMum and the other bloggers who created the page and had this great idea.

I am so sad about the situation in Haiti and feel completely powerless, all I can do is pray and make a monetary contribution. Our family sponsors a child in Haiti (through Compassion - hence the instant donation when this happened) and we write to him and pray for him and his family. Carl Henri lives only 4km from the centre of the capital so it is pretty sure that he will have been affected by this disaster in some way. At the top is a couple of pictures of Carl Henri, the one on the left is when we started to sponsor him 4 years ago and the one on the right is the one we last received from him a couple of months ago. Each month we have a standing order and our £21 is very well spent ensuring that Carl Henri can attend a church based community project and develop spiritually, emotionally, physically and emotionally. Why don't you check out Compassion and see if you might like to sponsor a child, it is a fab way for us to teach our own children how privileged and lucky they are. JJ enjoys writing to Carl Henri and drawing him pictures and it is always nice to hear that our birthday or Christmas additional gift has bought him a Pig, football or pair of shoes.