Friday, 8 November 2019

What are you seeking?


As a woman in my twenties, it never occurred to me to analyse my life. To really look at aspects of it and see if I was happy with them, or if they were healthy. For me, becoming a Christian at 29 was what had set me on an introspective journey to find out who I am and what is right for me. I would say what makes me happy, but that doesn’t sit right with me, for I believe my life isn’t lived for my own gratification.

I have a purpose, a greater good that I’m supposed to achieve during my life. It may not be what the world deems as bold, exciting or successful. I don’t have to become famous, make a million, or be stunningly beautiful. Society’s expectations of success don’t really apply, and it is so good to remind myself of that fact. All that is expected of me, is that I try my hardest to follow Christ’s example, to be a good citizen, and to think about other people, as well as myself.

In fact, in the last few days I’ve been realising, yet again, (why do I forget these important messages and then have to learn them again?) that I need to prefer others to myself. That’s not about me having low self-esteem and believing other people are more important than me. Not at all. It is about me remembering that I’m here to serve, in so many ways.

I’ve truly found that when I take my focus off myself and put it onto others, I am a lot more fulfilled. When I keep analysing why I feel lonely, or why I’m so fat, or why my work doesn’t feel fulfilling, all I do is perpetuate those feelings. 

You know what they say, negative in, negative out!

It’s so important to think positive and to seek the good in people. Some may say I’m wearing rose tinted glasses, but that’s not true, as I still know the world is flawed and there are problems in both my life, and the wider world around me. I just need to make the purposeful choice (and no, it’s not always easy) to see the best. A lovely friend reminded me of this the other day, as my thinking the worst of a situation that involved her had resulted in me feeling hurt for the last year and because I hadn’t raised the subject with her, she had no idea, she just thought I was busy, rather than purposely staying away.

Communication really is key to everything in life. Being honest and open with God, those around you and importantly, yourself, makes a massive difference. It won’t always be easy, in fact sometimes it will feel like such hard work, but it will always pay off.

After my post the other day about loneliness and seeking a good local friend, I spent some more time in prayer and contemplation, trying to decide what would make the difference to me right now. What did I come up with? I realised I need to stop thinking about myself and to do more for others. Not silly things like the kids washing or dropping them places, but more purposeful things like spending time with them doing an activity they enjoy, leaving the best parking space for someone else, or volunteering to do the crappy job at work, the one no-one enjoys.

I have far less time now than I used to, as I’m working more, but there is always time to do the little things, and many little things add up to be a big thing. The thing that takes me out of myself and helps me to focus on others and hopefully gives me that sense of purpose and satisfaction that I’m ultimately seeking.

But what about you, what are you seeking?

I'm linking this post up with Becky at Lakes Single Mum for Reasons to be Cheerful.