Tuesday 19 July 2016

Giving Myself Permission...

I've lost my blogging way at the moment. If I'm honest it's been gone for some time and I've been trying to persevere and keep on going but I'm really not sure what I'm up to. My mojo for it has gone, perhaps it is just on holiday or maybe it is a boat that has sailed its final voyage. I don't know right now but I do know I'm out of love with blogging and it just feels like a chore. Not good, right?

The off feelings started late last year with a scary trolling episode that really sent me off kilter and my love for blogging has not returned since. It's evident as I've not accepted any paid work yet this financial year (and I now realise we are a quarter of the way into the year) and I even missed BritMums Live in June, which is my go-to blogging event each year.

I've also realised this guilt I feel when I'm not writing is not helping anyone. It's is just a millstone round my neck dragging me down. I don't feel completely ready to give it all up yet, it has been way too big a part of my life for the last eight years and I think God's hand is in this and He will use my writing somehow but for now it is time for a bit of a break.
I committed to hosting Reasons to Be Cheerful for July and of course I won't bail out on that and I have a couple of review commitments but that will mostly be it from me until at least September. It will be a joy to wake up each morning during the school holidays and know there is nothing hanging over me. I'm free to do whatever I feel like and that doesn't have to mean picking up my laptop and blogging.

If I tell my girls I know they will squeal and be super excited that they have me all to themselves and don't have to share me with my laptop.

You never know, giving myself permission to have a break and not to blog might just be the prompt I need to make me want to write again.... we will see.... I'm making no firm commitments just yet.

Just aiming to take one day at a time and spend more time just being -

Just being in the moment
Just being with my kids
Just being on holiday
Just being allowed to relax
Just enjoying being with my husband 
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