Saturday 5 July 2014

What do I do to make him feel loved?

I was over at Veriily Victoria Vocalises the other day reading a crowd sourced post that Vic had written called 'The Things we do for love'. It was about the great things that partners and husbands do for some female bloggers and these things ranged from morning cups of tea to buying a diamond a year.

I started to wonder what my husband did for me and before I could get too far in my thought process I caught myself and turned the question around. What do I do for my husband? What are the little things that let him know that I love him? That he is my one and only?

It would have been far too easy to get caught up with the green eyed monster and to start to feel gloomy that he does not buy me a diamond a year and yes, I do have a real penchant for diamonds. Before kids he bought me lots of them, after kids not so much so. Or I could have felt disgruntled that he does not rub my feet or buy me flowers every week but then I have to stop and ask myself do I want those things?  No being the answer, they are not the love gestures that would make a difference for me.

So back to the question I posed for myself, what do I do to make him feel loved? and you know what I'm struggling with this.  Firstly I'm struggling as after twenty years I'm not that sure what it is that makes him feel loved.  Recently I did the free online love languages test and it showed that the ways I feel love most are physical touch and then words of affirmation and quality time in equal measure. It is funny as I had assumed that the things that might talk love to me were dh giving me gifts or perhaps when he is helpful around the house but as I read my profile I really recognised myself and knew it was true. I've therefore realised that I need to get my husband to do this test so that I can find out exactly what ways I need to show him my love.

Most things I do, I do with a smile because I love my family. I like to keep a nice house, I try to cook vegetarian meals my husband will like when no-one else in the family is veggie, I arrange date nights so we can go out together and I make sure we function as a family with lots of fun time out together. I'd like to tell you I tell him I love him regularly or that I grab him for impromptu hugs but actually I've slipped on those fronts in recent times and I have to pray that gifts is not his primary love language as I rarely buy him anything as he is that guy that wants nothing.

So thinking this through and writing this post has really bought to my attention that I need to mend my ways and take more time and care to show my husband just how much he means to me. I got told recently that if you want a good friend you need to be a good friend first and this has to surely be the same in your relationship too.

It is time for me to stop taking my relationship for granted and to start upping my game. I think we need a date night this week and I better find out what he wants from me.

Come on ladies, share with me, what do you do for your partner? I need some ideas to get me going.....

Thanks, Mich x