Wednesday 23 November 2011

A Big Fat Mummy Fail!

Isn't it easy to fall into the trap of beating yourself up about your prowess as a parent? Why, oh why do we do it?

I dropped my kids at school this morning and walked away feeling tearful and a complete let down to them.  A over reaction from me? yes. Dramatic? yes. Hormonal? yes again. Thankfully I am a pretty sensible sort and I went straight into a meeting at work and got real, remembering that it is one day and that the kids are fine.  What got me in a tizz?  It is Roald Dahl day at school and they requested the kids to go in costume as one of the characters from his books.  They sent the information 1 week ago.  I picked it up 6 days ago and since then have been manic.  To my mind if the school expect us to create fancy dress outfits when I have no cash they need to give me notice and realise I have a life and plans and that they come first.

I thought nothing of the fact that the kids were not dressing up and assumed as least half the school wouldn't be also.  I thought about putting the kids in casual clothes and just passing them off as Danny and Matilda or such but then decided that was a cop out and I either did it properly or not at all.  Time, or lack of it dictated it was not at all.  At school this morning it looked like the majority of kids were dressed up or in casual clothes. Whoops, Mummy fail!

When Miss E said to me that everyone was wearing different clothes and why.  I just replied 'I know, I'm sorry babe' and my little cutie hugged me and said why are you sorry mum. I didn't need to answer but in my mind I was sorry that I had not made more effort to help them fit in.  Yes I had been very busy, at work and away at the weekend but I could have tried harder.

This small incident that made me feel so bad got me thinking about all the things that us Mums (and Dads too I'm sure) end up feeling guilty about or worrying about and how pointless it all is.  In an effort to cheer myself up I made myself a Mummy checklist for today so that I could see it was not all bad!

  • Snuggled with kids in bed before getting up - Fab
  • Helped the kids get ready for school - Fab
  • Organised the kids breakfast, cereal and yoghurt for them all - Fab
  • Drove to school to drop the kids - Fail – should have walked for exercise!
  • Dropped the kids at school, so I can go to work -Fail – should stay home and be available for my kids at all times
  • Did not make/ organise costumes for Roald Dahl day - Fail – should be more organised
  • Picked the kids up from school - Fab
  • Gave the girls fruit as their after school snack - Fab
  • Cooked dinner for us all (chilli) - Fab -hit the 5 a day recommendation for fruit & veg!
  • Did homework with the girls – practised their letter formation  - Fab
  • Tidied the kitchen, baked bread, loaded and unloaded dishwasher, sorted recycling - Fab
  • Picked up dh from station, picked up JJ from a friends so they could go to Cubs together - Fab
  • Make some Xmas tree decorations with the girls for the festival in a couple of weeks - Fab
  • Got the girls ready for bed and had snuggles watching some TV together - Fab
  • Tidied downstairs and sat down for a relax - Fab

So looking at my day I am pretty happy and just reminded that I am a normal and average Mum. Some things I do well and others I am rubbish at.  Ask my kids as they went to bed tonight if I did OK today and I do not even think one of them would even register it was a problem that they were not dressed up at school today.  They have non-uniform day on Friday and are looking forward to that.

Just bringing me back where I started, why are we so hard on ourselves?

Let's join together and put a stop to this.  I am a real Mum and I try my best and I do a good enough job! What do you say?

My little ladies showing off their new sleepsuits tonight, don't they look cute?