Sunday 2 May 2010

Notes from the heart...

Dear Mum and Dad,

Thanks so much for coming up here this weekend. Mum, it has been just what I needed to have you here. The kids are missing you already and keep asking when they will see their Jeanie again. Dad, I know it is unheard of for you to have a Saturday off, thanks so much and I hope your football match was good this afternoon.

We all look forward to seeing you soon, your loving daughter.

Mich xxxxx

PS - We think Archie is super cute and Miss E and M still insist he is their new best friend

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Archie mate,

You are a gorgeous little boy and I can not believe how well behaved you are for a 7 week old pup.

Keep up the good work

You new big sister x

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Dear Friends and readers,

Thanks so much for all the wonderful support you have given me in the last week. Your comments, messages, texts and calls have meant the world to me. The world seems a very different place to 7 days ago, then I was doing the ironing suffering with morning sickness and watching trash TV. Tonight I am flopped on the sofa still in pain and trying to realise that there is no babe anymore.

A still sad Mich (but I will be OK) x

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Dear God,

I do not understand what happens much of the time but I have enough faith to know that your will is best and that longer term things will make sense to me. I thank you that you are always there and listen to me constantly. Please be with dh also in this strange situation, he seems to be dealing just fine but it is his loss too and seeing as he is not a big talker it will be his instinct to bottle his real feelings up.

Michelle, who wishes she could fully surrender to you
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Dear dh,

I love you so much, sometimes I find you frustrating as you appear to zone out but that could just be a protective mechanism. I was feeling so resentful earlier towards you as I got up to Miss M this morning at 4.45am when she was crying. All I needed to do was nudge you if I wanted you to go to her but instead as I was awake anyway I played the martyr and went to her and tried to ignore the agony in my stomach. Who was at fault? me, yes I know - you can not be resented for sleeping soundly.

Thank you for letting me stay in bed all day today, taking the kids out for a wood trek, doing their lunch and tea and putting them to bed on your own. I would love to have seen you playing that DS less today when the girls were bored and fighting but again I just need to talk to you really and explain that when it is a rainy day and two 2 year old are trapped inside for the day you have to orchestrate activities for them. They are not old enough to plan for themselves. Did you see how nice they played for that 3/4 hour while you cooked tea. Puzzles and some adult guidance works wonders.

Anyway enough whinging, it has helped me writing this down. I know I have one of the good ones. I am lucky to have a hubbie who adores his kids and wants to spend time with them. Sometimes I just need to get my unrealistic expectations in check!

Love you always, Mich x

PS - so sorry we did not get to go out last night and enjoy some time together. I will plan a nice night for us together this weekend.

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Dear Indian Spice,

I enjoyed the take away, thanks but will you stop making my chicken tikka quite so spicy!

Cheers, the woman with the streaming eyes!

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To my three precious babies,

There is no need to be worrying about Mummy. Whilst I hurt now I pray the pain will all be gone soon and I will be back to myself. I am grateful for each one of you and your own kooky ways. Thank you for being caring and helping me this week.

I adore you, Mummy xxx