I've been musing this question this last week - 'By being fat am I wasting my life or am I just choosing to enjoy life by eating the foods I fancy?'
If you've read my blog before you'll know that I have spent the majority of my life for the last 30 years as an overweight women, probably around 20 of those as a very overweight woman and much of that time I have been exceedingly unhappy about my size and weight. In recent months I've been doing a lot of what I call 'head work' in relation to some of the issues I have that send me to the food as my drug of choice.
I believe I am making progress and one way I see this is that I am being far kinder to myself. I don't stand in front of the mirror and hate my fat bits any more. I don't call myself names any longer and I'm not feeling a sense of shame. Take that picture above, go back to last year and I probably would not have worn that dress. I'd have told you my ankles were too tiny for my body, my legs are too pale and my bingo wings were on show. Yesterday I bought that beautiful linen M&S dress for £4 from a charity shop, it is brand new and I was super chuffed to find it fit me.
It would be so easy to say that I am wasting my life. That living eight stone overweight is just living with my life on hold and I am wasting some of the best years or my life. I should be eating less and really being careful with what I put in my mouth as then I can start to live once I reach the elusive weight and size, whatever they may be.
But I have come to the realisation that I am not wasting time. I am choosing to enjoy life. Food makes me happy. I love to go out with my husband and have a meal. When I have some free time in the day, nothing makes me more content than sitting with my book, a cuppa and a piece of cake in a nice tea room. Eating just salads and fruit makes me miserable.
I know I can't go on as I am forever, I'll just get more and more health ailments appear, but I fully accept that becoming healthier will take a long time. There is no easy fix, it is all about moving more and eating less. Moderation is the key.
This week ahead I am focusing on -
- Getting at least 7 hours sleep a night
- Drinking at least 2 litres of water a day
- Taking at least 12, 500 steps every day
- Following the menu plan I set (one that has some nice things planned in to it)