I wrote this post just over a week ago but due to my haphazard approach to blogging right now, it has taken this long to see the light of day!
It’s practically March and I’m assuming that I’ve not really lost any weight this year despite such good intentions. I say I assume as I’ve not weighed for a few weeks and when I have weighed it has been across three different sets of scales, so that is no help to anyone.
I started out well in January, I got my bedtimes sorted so I didn’t feel so vulnerable and then I let it slip again and since half-term I’ve just not been able to get my energy level back up. I’m not sure if the menopause in on route (I am nearing 43) but I’ve got near continuous heavy bleeding, headaches and cramps coming and going every couple of days. It is so draining and all I want to do is curl up and read a good book. Maybe I should just give in to it?
Today I’ve been thinking about blogging and writing a post and everything that comes to mind is negative. Something is missing in my life right now and the post titles I’ve been coming up with are not very inspiring. They have all been about my lack of interest in, well, anything much at all really. ‘I can’t be arsed’ is probably the phrase to sum most everything up right now.
I’ve just cast my eyes towards the keyboard as I type this and I can see my right hand where my fingers are pulled apart and the skin all around my nails is red raw. It always seems to be something I do when I am low. I suppose it should have been a sign really to wake me up to there being an issue I needed to confront.
So what is the issue you might wonder?
And that’s a good question. I’ve been debating it for the last week or so and it’s not that easy pinpointing something as the cause as generally everything in life is very good. I just keep coming back to that old nugget of my weight and how I’m not happy with my body and this then impacts on my relationship with my husband.
So I must set some targets so I have something to aim for. I can’t keep going through life unhappy with how I look and the example I’m setting to my kids. I’ve been stuck in the mud and stagnant for far too long. So this is what I WILL achieve this year as a minimum –
By my holiday to Spring Harvest on 4th April – lose 1 stone
By two gorgeous friends wedding celebration on 10th June – have lost 2 stone
By my family holiday to Bournemouth on 6th August – have lost 3.5 stone
By the time I see a great friend again for the first time in 14 years on 10th September – have lost 4 stone
I realise that without targets it has been very hard to keep track of my weight loss and I was just floating along with nothing firm to aim for. Realistically I have far more than 4 stone that I need to lose but I must start somewhere and 4 stone will make such a difference to my health and what I feel I can achieve. I’m pretty sure that when I have gained enough momentum by losing 4 stone that I’ll be able to keep going and head towards a normal BMI and a healthy weight for the rest of my life.
I now need to think about what rewards I might like to give myself for persevering and doing well on my journey toward a fitter and healthier Mich. A Pandora bracelet and a charm for each stone lost feels like a nice idea, I better investigate what that would cost me! lol