Sunday 25 October 2015

What do you Love about Mummy?

Earlier this week I went to an event at a local church, it was run by a charity called Care For The family and was called Mums the Word. It was sold as a night for mums to come together, have fun and be inspired. The speakers were Diane Louise Jordon, who you may know from TV and surely from Blue Peter if you are anywhere similar in age to me and also Cathy Madavan, who you might only know if you are a Christian.

I've heard Cathy speak a number of times at Spring Harvest and always really enjoyed her natural and friendly style; she doesn't fail to make you laugh. Add Diane into the mix and you have a great combo, the two of them genuinely seemed to get on like a house on fire and had a lot of parenting wisdom and humility to share.

There was far more content in the three hours than I could ever share in one post, so you can expect some more parenting/mums type posts over the next few weeks and that is no bad thing when I am still classified as a parenting blog but in recent times I've noticed that the subject is dwindling.

The theme that ran through the whole event is that we do not have to be super mum. Each of us is a good enough mum and in fact the perfect one for our children. We all do things differently and that is what creates a nation of bright and diverse children who all have differing passions and strengths.

I've been an advocate of good enough parenting for a long time and I've written extensively about it on my blog. At one point I even thought I had invented the phrase but alas it has been around longer than the eight years I've been writing here.

During the evening we looked at different parenting styles and bias' and concluded that again there is no right way for everyone. You just have to be confident in your decisions and go with your gut of what is right for your family. Yes this might go against the grain but if you stick to your principles and work through it, it will always be worth it. Not always easy of course but worthwhile none the less.

I wanted to share with you a video we watched. It is a big eye opener -

I think it is so valuable to hear what this little guy has to say about Mums in general but even more so to hear what our own kids have to say about us, as their mum. Years back I recall asking JJ what he thought I did well as a Mummy and I remember him talking about me cooking meals he liked, giving him cuddles and taking him fun places. I then got brave and asked the flip side of the question 'what he didn't like that I did' and you know what? He couldn't come up with anywhere near as many reason for me being a failing mum as I could. I think the main one he said was that I shouted sometimes when I was cross.

I thought it was high time I undertook this exercise again and given that I've never asked the girls about this I started a conversation in the car on our way to swimming last week. I started to talk about the event and they asked me how I had enjoyed it. After confirming it was fab I said that some mummies there didn't think they were very good at being mummies and that they could be much better. Before I had a chance to continue Miss M looked at me very cross and said 'That's crazy Mummy, what did you say?' I knew this was a key moment and I had to be a bit careful about how I answered this as my girls are taking their example in life from me.

So I answered that I was 'good enough, not perfect, but doing a good job at being a mummy'. Miss M seemed satisfied with this and reminded me that no-one is perfect except Jesus and that I am the best mummy she could have. She carried on to say that every child is lucky to have a mummy. In fact she got in quite a rant about how kids would be living in homes or with foster families and would not have the same sense of security and happiness if it were not for their mummies.

So I asked both her and her sister, what they thought I did well, what they loved about mummy?

Miss M - You cook me nice dinners, you give great hugs and we go shopping together
Miss E - You love me, snuggle with me and make me laugh.

And the flip side, what they don't like too much? - I tell them off sometimes. I can live with that, it is my job to parent them after all.

It's been really good to do this exercise again and to contemplate being a Mum, so I'd urge you to be brave. Go on and ask your children the same and I bet they will surprise you and put a big smile on your face.

Have a blessed week, Mich x
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