Friday 20 February 2015

How do you stop kids bickering?

Can anyone give me any wisdom please? Is it just part and parcel of family life, that my kids will bicker, argue and try to get one up on each other? Or is there some kind of parenting fail here?

I have 7 year old twin girls and an 11 year old boy and in particular one of my twins and my son will do whatever they can to wind the other one up. Going into the other ones rooms, leaving notes, taking things, making silly noises - just anything to bait the other one. It is a game I think they both secretly enjoy and to some extent I am keen not to rise to it and to just let them sort it out themselves but very quickly they become really quite noisy and one or the other ends up crying and shouting 'Muuuuum'.

My son gets involved in every conversation and we often have to remind him he is not a parent and whatever is going on is not his business. Then one of the twins will try and wind up the other one as she is an easy target and will end up playing the victim and whinging, without retaliating.

I watched the Railway Children the other day and was in awe of the respect and good behaviour demonstrated by the children in the film. I just dream of my children accepting what I say, not arguing back and being nice to each other. We have always had a mantra of it being better to be kind than to be right but kindness towards each other seems to escape them.

Don't get me wrong they are not terrible. I haven't got feral children or anything but I'd just love some ideas for them being nicer to each other. My husband and I seriously considering taking away all screens and tech for quite a period of time and making them play together and share together. This will surely mean they have to sort it out and start being nice to each other, what do you think?

I took the two main culprits for a walk together the other day and threatened them with a boot camp together and they both quite liked the sound of that! Here they are having some fun (ahem) together -

If you look, you'll see JJ has a stick he is threatening to throw towards Miss M. He had no intention of doing so but it was still enough to provoke a reaction! 

Then being the kind big brother, breaking off a large stick for Miss M to carry and play with

Photo bombed by JJ's fingers!

Helping each other jump the stream

There are of course some harmonious times but I really would like to see more of them, so if you have any good ideas then please do leave me a comment.

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