Monday 28 May 2012

Dear So and So - the Bloggers Edition

Dear SEO analyst,

Can I just ask one quick question? Why is it that you think I am stupid? I get emails from you and your counterparts everyday addressed to dear blogger or hey there and frankly I am sick of them. I am an educated woman and I understand the terms and conditions that google ask webmasters to adhere to.  I know the difference between a follow and no-follow link, if I choose to publish follow links I will and I understand that comes with risks. Risks that I'll have weighed up and made a rational decision on.

I do not need you to tell me I am misguided or have misunderstood and that because you are representing a reputable brand or because that brand fits with my blog, I'll be OK. Luckily I am not delusional enough to believe that I am untouchable and that google won't get me.

Can I just also say that I would be really grateful if you stopped asked me to not mention that my post is sponsored when it contains a paid for link. I consider myself to be honest and ethical, in fact my blog tends to be know as a place that can be trusted as I will voice my opinions and openly declare all my commercial dealings.

I am truly sorry that just recently your job has become a  lot harder and that people are not falling over themselves to accept your work anymore but you know what they say 'what does not kill us makes us stronger' and I am positive that those really good ones amongst you will find new avenues and methods and will excel.

An exasperated Mich

Dear PR (or should I say Brand Magician, Chief Juggler or any of the other rather unusual job titles that you have!)

Let me ask you this, why on earth would I want to promote your customers competition on my blog? Blogging is not my paid job, I have one of those already, blogging is something I do because I enjoy it and it is done in my spare time.

Let's turn this around, in your spare time you might like photography and you travel to pretty landmarks to record their beauty. What about if I ask you to take a load of photos for me while you are there, of something you are completely not interested in and I'm not going to pay you for it, in fact I am not going to offer you anything for it.  But if you are lucky I might dangle the carrot that you might like the photos and you can take the best one.  Bet you would be running to help me wouldn't you?  Especially if you knew I was being paid for those photos and you weren't and you would be doing a share of the work.

Does this give you a better idea as to why I won't be pasting your competitions all over my blog? It's not a public announcement service, sorry about that!

A blogger who is sorry to say will just be binning your emails from now onwards

Dear BritMums Live attendes,

Have you seen that I'll be hosting a session along with some other superbloggers (apparently we'll have capes!), there's Jane, Nickie, Mel and Maggy? Well if our emails are anything to go by our session will definitely be the most fun and 'out there', so come along and join us at 5.10pm on Friday 22nd June to find out how to plait your pubes, sing your heart out, cross the chasm and move your blog to the next level.  You too can be a superblogger and wear a cape!

Really look forward to seeing you there, the queen of karaoke!

Hey new bloggers,

I know you have spent the last few months working hard on your blog and you are probably at a point now where people read and comment regularly. Let me just put your mind at rest, when you start to see reader numbers and especially comments dwindle over the next few months it is not personal.  It will happen to us all, it just seems to be the way it happens in the parent blogosphere.

The sun comes out, our kids want to go out and we get to busy to read and comment every day.  Such as life, all the commenter will come back again in September/ October.

Keep smiling, Mich x

Dear Readers,

Thanks for sticking with me, I love coming on my blog and finding you have left me a message.  This blog is my therapy, outreach and love and I adore that you ride this bumpy journey with me.  I do intend to have some downtime this summer too, so do you fancy some guest posts?  Let me know if there is anything you would particularly like to see on here.

Yours grateful, Mich x

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