Thursday 10 June 2010

Can you help me get some perspective please?

I am hoping you can help me. Would you mind giving me your perspective in the hope that I might actually gain some perspective on my life? Go on, pretty please.

I have blogged before that I have a problem with sitting still and relaxing, it is not something that comes naturally to me. I am very good at writing lists and achieving targets, getting things done basically. It is as if, when I am just relaxing or playing with my kids or such I do not feel there is any value in what I am doing and I start to feel as if I have achieved nothing in my day. This is bad as those play times or times of stillness might be when I teach my kids a valuable life lesson or recharge my own batteries. I can tell you what the books say; that I have to get a balance and enjoy some down times but the bit I cannot work out is what is a good balance?

I really enjoyed my weekend. The boys were away and the girls and I had a nice time. I did a few chores on Saturday morning and then we went into town to cross a few more things off my list and have lunch. Tea and bedtime was a nice relaxed affair and then my friend came over for a DVD, Indian takeaway and good chin wag. Sunday was Church in the morning and then we went to a fete and car boot before collecting the boys from camp late afternoon. See a totally chilled weekend and I enjoyed it, the girls behaved so well – probably because I was physically and mentally available to them much more than normal. Minimal chores were done, everyone was fed, washing was done and the kitchen kept clean but that was it. So what is your view – was I lazy this last weekend? Or was it good that I had a nice relax and enjoyed my kids and Church.

I suppose I ought to give you the backdrop to this question and describe a week day for you. Monday and Tuesday I work a full day and then here is my day from yesterday –

• Got up at 6.15am and showered, dressed and did my daily readings
• 7am got the kids up, gave them breakfast and got them dressed (dh helped)
• Dropped JJ to breakfast club at school, dh at the station and the girls to nursery before going to work
• Work from 8.20am – 12.30pm
• Lunch on my own – 20 mins to myself!
• Collect girls from nursery and head home
• Tidy the kitchen, full clean of the bathroom, wash all the towels, clean the downstairs toilet
• Make all the beds and tidy the kids rooms
• Did my daily bible reading
• Hemmed some work trousers
• Put another wash on
• Collected JJ from school
• Got the kids back and sorted with drinks etc, unpacked JJ’s bags
• Folded the washing and put away, put another wash on
• Spent 40 mins blogging – bliss
• Got the dinner ready
• Collected dh from the station
• Came back and finished dinner and we all ate together (then dh went out to do cubs)
• Got the dishwasher loaded and on, cleaned the table, hoovered the dining room, tided the kitchen
• Bathed the kids and did bedtime stories with them all
• Folded more washing and put it away
• Kids all asleep – yay. Went on the computer and surfed, answered emails etc (2 hours to myself)
• 10pm got the ironing out and ironed until 11pm
• Then relaxed for ½ hr with the PC and bed at 11.30pm

Now I am pretty sure that by anyone’s standards this is a busy day but this is pretty much how most week days are for me. So by writing this I think I am answering my own question, if I do nothing much on a weekend after 5 days of this full-on sh@t then I am pretty justified – right?